Chapter Six: Self-Destruction

For the rest of the day, Mac did nothing except lie on his bed in a trance, staring at the plain white ceiling of his trailer. His torture kept playing over and over in his mind, like a horror film that wouldn't end. These thoughts were mingled with those of Brodi and how he betrayed him… breaking his heart like it was nothing. But did Brodi really love him? He was certain he'd never know… Night came and Mac fell into a deep but severely troubled sleep. Memories had been burned into his mind that would haunt him forever…

Morning arrived and Mac opened his eyes groggily. The day of finals had finally come. The final race. Brodi, Kaori, JP, Marisol, Seeiah, Eddie, and Mac. He was thankful that neither Luther, Psymon, nor Moby had made it to the finals. But even if they had, it wouldn't matter. Mac didn't plan on finishing the race.

As the hours passed and Mac finally managed to drag himself out of bed and into the shower, all he could think about was the race… not winning, not losing… but his final moments alive. He was planning on committing suicide upon the slopes of Garibaldi. He'd make it look like an accident, of course, but Brodi and Kaori would know what really happened. They would know his death was no accident, and they'd probably live with the guilt forever. But in Mac's opinion, dying with guilt was less painful than living with a broken heart. No matter how much fear resided in him, he wasn't going to chicken out.

The crowd was cheering wildly, and Mac heard them chanting his name. He was the favorite to win the race. But he hung his head in misery instead of lighting up with joy as he usually did, knowing that he would let down all his fans this time. In the end he didn't care though, he wouldn't let himself care. Mac strapped on his board and pulled his snow goggles over his eyes. This was it. He looked to each of his sides, Brodi on the left, and Kaori on the right. He ignored them both, since he couldn't bear look at either one of them more than a few seconds without bursting into tears. Mac was ashamed of himself for being so weak. But soon it wouldn't matter.

5, 4, 3, 2, 1. GO! Mac was fastest out of the gates, but slowed a bit to knock down Brodi. The biggest jump was nearing, only a few seconds away. Mac's heart was pounding insanely hard and he started feeling dizzy. He couldn't hear anything except the sound of his harsh, forced breathing, and his heart pounding inside his chest. He looked beyond the slope to the mountains, then to Brodi and Kaori whom had both pulled ahead of him. It would be the last time he ever saw them. He closed his eyes as he felt the ground end; he was suspended in the air, 2300 feet up… Opening his eyes, Mac looked down at the ground, and did a few weak flips, but instead of pulling back into an upright position, he stayed upside down. He wanted his neck to break and his death to be quick. With about 2 seconds to go until he hit the ground, he whispered, "I love you, Brodi…" then shut his eyes again. Everything was silent now, he braced himself for the impact, and then the world stopped.

Brodi cried out when he was knocked down, but didn't blame Mac, after all, he had broken the poor boy's heart. He got to his feet again and sped ahead of Mac, looking back at him with sad eyes. He noticed that Mac was sweating, and he seemed disoriented. Brodi didn't think anything of it until he jumped from the slope. He jumped much higher than Mac and watched him from above. His three weak flips, very uncharacteristic of Mac, who usually pulled insane tricks off the huge first jump. Brodi didn't do any tricks at all as he watched Mac, and what he saw next made him scream.

"MACKENZIE!" Brodi shouted as he saw Mac hit the ground headfirst. Only being about 10 meters above him, he heard the sickening crunch, the sound of Mac's breaking bones. As soon as Brodi hit the ground he skidded to a halt, kicking off his board and running to Mac. He fell to his knees by the boy, turning over his crumpled form and looking down at his face. His skin was tinged with blue and there was a large, bleeding gash on his forehead. Mac's goggles were askew and his arms and one of his legs were sticking out at sickening angles.

Brodi leaned down and put his ear to Mac's chest. He heaved a huge sigh of relief when he heard a light, labored heartbeat in him. He put his hand close to Mac's nose and mouth, and his panic returned when he felt that Mac was not breathing. He shouted desperately for the medics, and in the meantime leaned down and opened Mac's mouth, locking their lips and trying to get him to breathe again.

"Mackenzie… please breathe… I won't be able to live knowing I killed you… oh God… breathe…please..." He kept trying to get Mac to breathe, but it was seemingly useless. Each time he felt no breath from him. He stood up as the medics arrived and took a few steps away from Mac, but he fell to his knees again and burried his face in his hands. "I killed him… I killed him…"

Brodi watched in unbearable aguish as Mac was carried quickly away upon a stretcher to a nearby emergency helicopter. He watched it fly away and stood after a few minutes, strapping on his board again and finishing the race, in 5th place.