Because my readers are so very good to me, I think every few chapters I will dedicate a little time to them. So, I decided this chapter I will reply to each of you as I can. I really do appreciate you guys - You make this fic really worth wild.
LJP Happy to hear you enjoyed. Doing the best I can with updates, sorry!
Dazzler420 Heh, well, hate to tell you, but there's just a small wait left for you until the first big actions start coming as far as romance. Be patient! Thanks!
Norie Ape1 11th's here! I love to write Haldir in awkward positions such a father, heh! So happy you're enjoying!
Gypsy Kittens Thanks so very much! See a note to you on previous chapter. I so desperately appreciate your input. I'm gathering as much information on children as possible.
Artemis1860 Well, glad you found that FYI of use! Lol. Hmm.. I see about the year. Interesting.
LegolasnDcolorblueinterestsme Thank you! Wise..hmm.. Well, there are many speculations about Haldir's parents and what age he was, etc. However, I keep consistent with a co-author placing him and his brothers all at an adolescent age at the time of their parents' death. Though, I must admit, playing Haldir into being a bumbling father is enjoyable, heh!
Julia Whew! Sizzles Johnny. Wow. I can't...yeah. Lol! You keep right on picturing that man. And a young Ewan is just who I had in mind, nice work! Form bricks work well, I assure you. Glad to hear no Sue action on your end.
Laer4572 Yes, yes. Jealousy is such an ugly creature...bwhaha! And that quote about Aluna...I enjoyed that! Lol! So much that I must use it against someone in the near future - with your permission of course. Heh!
Courtney Ah, yes, I agree. Haldir really needs some memory boosters. You must wait a few more chapters though. Glad you're enjoying!
Toratigergirl I use a bit of subtle imagination, I'd like to think, for issues like Sirens and Gypsies for that matter. Modern songs, I find, sometimes explain situations a bit better. As for the horses, I hope they do - But subtle imagination there too, I suppose. Glad you're still enjoying the fic, however!
Skyfire4 Wow, thank you! I'm not ashamed to say when I was writing that chapter, someone tried to interrupt me and I shouted at them, "She's In Labor - Shut up!". Of course, that person found me insane and left, lol. Glad you do not find Sues as well. Oh, and about those speculations of yours...Winks You just may be onto something. Shhh! Heh! And with the characters, I hope you can soon see on the cover and banner made for this fic...If I can ever get them online. Gah! I'm pulling my hair out here.
Jaffee Leeds Oh, thank you! I was starting to worry it was going too slow. That's very assuring. And Galadriel will have her moment, hehe! I'll see to it...perhaps...heh.
Ms. Unknown That's ironic. Tell them happy birthday for me! Heh. And even I feel bad for Donavon...and I created the kid! Lol!
LoyalRose I've heard three versions of the song, all quite different. Thanks for letting me know of this fourth one - I will check it out. Thanks again!
Saeleth Tinuviel Oh? It's been four years or so since I read that book. Interesting. I hope you continue to enjoy the story!
Thanks again, all!
Chapter Fourteen: Empty Echo
Three Weeks Later
Haldir
"Warden, it's good to see you," Lord Celeborn greeted as I came to the top of the talan I'd been called to. It had been three weeks since I was last in Caras Galadhon. I had taken longer trips on duty, but it was good to be back now.
"And you, my lord," I replied with a bow. He motioned for me to follow him and I did so, climbing the next round of stairs.
"How are the tiny ones?" he asked.
"They are well. Quiet most of the time, except at night," I said with a frown. "I fear Ashk doesn't get much sleep."
"Ah, yes," Celeborn nodded. "I once said that the night kept children awake due to their...young fears. What goes bump in the night, you see," he told me. I nodded in agreement. I never recalled being afraid of the dark, however Orophin had been.
There was a ruckus nearby as we topped the following talan. I frowned and glanced down a level only to see a half dozen Elves laughing hysterically while several crates seemed to have fallen over down the stairs. I raised a brow and looked to Celeborn.
"They are preparing for Winter Festive," he told me with an exasperated sigh.
"Already? It is still three months yet," I replied, moving back towards the Elven the Lord. He shrugged his shoulders before glancing down the level as well.
"They seem to plan earlier every few years or so," he muttered. "And Galadriel is not helping matters, for Valar's sake," he added under his breath and I smiled with a chuckle.
"Ashk does that constantly. It doesn't matter what I say, she'll go on and do what she thinks is best," I added with a shake of my head. Celeborn laughed and nodded.
"Just wait until the children are old enough to speak," he warned me. "She will corrupt their little minds towards you and the next thing you know, you bow to their wishes every time they ask for something... It is something in a female's blood to make a male commit to her."
Dread filled me and I knew I made a face of disgust. Celeborn laughed once more. "I will keep that in mind," I said. "It certainly will not happen to me."
Celeborn's loud laughter rang out. "Ah, Haldir, you are young yet in your wise years. You will learn, my Warden. You will learn."
"Now, is this not just the most adorable scene I have ever witnessed? A Lord and his Warden complaining about their wives," Galadriel said suddenly from behind us. We both spun around and I stepped back, receiving a hardy glare from Lord Celeborn as I left him for the brunt of the Lady's whipping tongue.
"I, for one, would not trade for the world's riches," he said with a beaming and charming smile. I withheld a chuckle. He was right. He did bow to her every wish - spoken or not.
Galadriel smiled back at her husband, her hand resting on his cheek. "Keep that in mind, my dearest husband. I would hate to turn you into some sort of crawling creature hiding from the birds."
The two shared a laugh and I stayed silent, watching in a mild interest.
Galadriel and Celeborn had ever been affectionate with each other no matter who was in witness. Many said they had the fairest love of the Elvish nations.
Galadriel looked at me with a gentle smile. "Haldir, you will attend the festive, will you not?"
I tilted my head. "I always do," I said.
Of course, I hated the yearly festives. It was the highlight of the year for many Elves, but a full night in the courts was not my idea of fun. Turning down invitations to dance was irritating and common chatting grew boring.
"Wonderful," said the Lady of Light. She turned away then and began to descend the stairs nearby. "I hope you do not mind that I invited Ashk to join as well."
I gagged my breath.
The Following Day
Ashk
"I just don't think it is a good idea," Haldir continued and Moriana continued to wail in his ear. I glanced outside to see Ana and Ryn with both their son and ours.
I shook my head. When Haldir had started on the subject of Lorien's Winter Festive, he did not let me get a word in otherwise. He didn't even know if I wanted to go, for goodness sake! The Lady of Light had invited me, yes. In an awkward fashion, might I add. Not every day was I washing clothes to have another's voice inside my head.
"Can I say something now?" I asked, folding a tunic.
He looked at me as Moriana began to simmer down. When he remained silent I continued, "First, I would so like to thank you for coming back early to tell me all of this."
He moved to argue but I held up a hand and would have thrown the towel I had at him if he was not holding our daughter.
"Second, I'll have you know that I've never been to a ball or festive before and did not plan on making a fool out of myself in front of a good two hundred Elves. Is that all right with you?"
I snapped the next towel as I folded it. He looked at me before Moriana gargled and immediately spit up on his shoulder. He grimaced and I tried not to laugh.
"Here," I said, grabbing a towel and trading it for our daughter. I sighed as Little Ana giggled and tried to reach for my hair that was barely dangling out of a tie.
"Perhaps another festive later in the year, I just really don't think the Winter Ball is a good idea," he continued as if he were talking to himself as he cleaned off his tunic.
"And I'm agreeing with you, now let's just forget about it, all right?" I said, managing to evade my daughter's clenching fingers. I kissed her forehead before laying her in the pile of clean towels. She giggled and grabbed her toes instead, making me shake my head.
"Right," Haldir agreed with a nod.
"Do I get a say in this?" Rumil suddenly came from the back door. Surprised at his abrupt entrance, I jumped slightly before he and Haldir glared at each other. Between the two glares, it was obvious Rumil had been eavesdropping.
"No," Haldir told him. "She has already decided not to go."
"Yes, with you poisoning her mind," Rumil replied, pointing at his brother. I shook my head.
"Rumil, really. I hadn't planned on going," I said.
"Shush, Ashk." He waved his hand at me and I raised a brow, before going back to folding laundry with a roll of my eyes. I looked at Moriana.
"Elves," I muttered to her. She giggled.
"I think she should go," Rumil continued, talking to his brother. "It would be a good way to introduce her to Caras Galadhon."
"She does not need to be introduced to Caras Galadhon," Haldir replied, his voice biting and strained.
"Yes, she does," Rumil replied. "She will visit with the children, won't she?"
Intrigued, I shifted and looked at Haldir as well. However, he completely ignored me and said, "I doubt it."
I snorted. "Really?"
Haldir looked at me, his eyes full of turmoil.
"You said yourself you did not want to go to Caras Galadhon," he told me.
"I said I didn't want to go to the Ball," I replied. "I said nothing about the city. But, you know, the Ball is sounding quite interesting now that I see I will not be allowed to the city without the Lady of Light inviting me." I snapped the next tunic to fold.
Haldir gave a hardy glare at his brother who was beaming.
"That was not what I meant," he said.
"What did you mean?" I asked, looking at him once again. He stumbled, but Rumil stepped up, changing the subject.
"You should join us, Ashk," Rumil told me, ignoring his brother. "It is the best part of the year. The city is never as beautiful as it is that night. It is the longest night of the year, you know. You would meet many great figures of the Elven race - The twins of Rivendell will be there and it is rumored their father will be as well."
This made my stomach turn. If Rumil thought he was helping, he wasn't. Being confronted with nobles was not my idea of a good time.
"And there is dancing - All night there is dancing," he told me excitedly.
Haldir shifted and cleared his throat. "But, Elves don't dance like humans," he told me. "There are different...songs and traditions."
"I could teach you!" Rumil said excessively loud, nearly jumping forward at me. Moriana giggled loudly as her uncle came into sight and he glanced down at her with a wink before lifting her into his arms. "I am a wonderful teacher."
"He is not," Haldir interrupted. "He could not train a dog if he tried."
"Dogs are stubborn creatures," Rumil argued before looking back at me. "What do you think, Ashk? Join us?"
I paused a moment. However much I wanted to stick this at Haldir, I didn't really know if it was such a good idea. Would I be welcome among the Elves?
"...I suppose I could go," I managed to say.
Rumil grinned in victory before Haldir shook his head. "You need to find an escort, Ashk. You cannot just show up alone."
I frowned at him. Being the mother of his children, his named wife, I had imagined he would take me even when I had only briefly thought on it the day before.
Rumil was looking at him in a deadly glare for a brief moment before his eyes shifted back to mine.
"You can go with me," he said quickly.
"Oh, Rumil, I couldn't. I'm sure you have someone else in mind," I told him, going back to folding the clothing so I could hide my bewilderment from Haldir.
There was a brief scuffle behind me, but when I glanced back at the two, they were only looking at me.
"It's not an issue, Ashk. Please, I am adding my invitation to the Lady of Light's," Rumil said.
Although his words warmed my heart and I smiled at him, I couldn't help but be disappointed. Rumil was dear to me, but it was not his invitation I craved.
I glanced at Haldir only to see that his eyes had taken on that distant look he had sometimes. I bit back a sigh before nodding to Rumil.
"All right, Rumil. I'll go."
Evening
Haldir
Beating the dust off my trousers, I frowned as I looked back towards the barn.
Black was still acting like a fool as he bounded about in the corral. I really wondered how it was Ashk thought she was going to tame that horse. He was nothing but a bully. So much of a bully, in fact, that I had half the mind to force her to geld him. Maybe that would take away some of his fiery spirit.
I smirked to myself as I opened the door, taking a breath to call for Ashk with my beaming idea - knowing she'd be appalled by it - before I noted a figure at the table. At first, I didn't know what to think. Her arms were crossed and her head was buried into them. Was she hiding her face for some reason?
Then, as the slow sound of drawn breaths reached me, I smiled. She was asleep. A shadow passed in the kitchener around her and I tensed before Ryn came into view. He looked at me with a shrug of his shoulders.
"I didn't have the heart to wake her," he whispered to me as I eased into the kitcherer as well.
Ashk shifted but did nothing else. Nearby the children were quiet, obviously nearly as tired as their mother.
"She barely sleeps at night," the Gypsy added.
I took in a disturbed breath. "I know."
"It happens when little ones come around," Ryn assured me as he placed his glass quietly into the wash bin. He glanced at Ashk again before motioning me towards the children. "Lets put them to sleep first and come back for her."
I nodded and moved silently to the small cribs. As my shadow cast over them, my son immediately opened his eyes. He cooed loudly with a giggle and I cringed, quick to pick him up and silence him. Again, I glanced at Ashk before I motioned Ryn to follow me upstairs.
I was the one who returned down the stairs for Ashk. Ryn stayed upstairs and had quietly entered his wife's room where the sound of her and their son giggling nearly echoed. I heard him shush them before the sound of thrown pillows pelted the walls.
I shook my head as I neared Ashk.
She was exhausted. Dark shadows stayed under her eyes lately and she looked a bit pale. I frowned before gently pulling her to sit up. She mumbled something and I lifted her into my arms before she woke.
However, she stirred and tired eyes looked at me just a moment before she laid her head on my shoulder.
"Haldir..."
I paused a moment. It was strange to hear her call me by name. It had been so long of Warden.
I glanced down at her, but her eyes were closed again. "Hm?"
"I like it when you're home," she murmured to me.
I chuckled as I stepped off the last stair. "Really?"
She just nodded and shifted as I pushed open the door to her room. The children were quiet with sleep again. I silently thanked the Valar for that. Ashk needed sleep tonight.
"…You make it safe," Ashk continued.
I raised a brow. "From what?"
"Anything," she replied, her voice drifting even further away into sleep. She was nearly limp as I eased her onto the bed. Gently, I pulled the blankets down from under her before seeing she still had her boots on beneath her skirts. I shook my head and went about unclasping the beaten leather shoes.
"I am glad I make it safe, Ashk," I said mindlessly.
She gave a single chuckle and tried to roll on her side, but I had her restrained for the moment. She frowned but didn't move again.
"Haldir?"
"Yes, Ashk?"
"Do you not want me to go to the ball?"
I barely heard her. As she continued, her voice grew softer. I paused a moment to collect her words and finished removing her boots. Pulling up the blankets over her in the cool night I sighed slightly.
"I am just wary of it," I whispered to her. "Some people ...will not accept you there."
She frowned again and rolled over, still facing me. She pulled the blankets close and curled like a kitten would. I smiled at her nearly sleeping face.
"I don't care," she whispered to me.
I chuckled lightly. "You wouldn't."
She didn't seem to hear me. She continued, "Not if you're there."
I frowned at her as her body completely relaxed. She was sleeping now and would say no more this night. I shook my head and glanced toward the cribs where one of the children gurgled and whimpered.
"Sleep tonight, Ashk," I said softly finding my hand to brush aside her dark locks. "Tonight you sleep."
She sighed in dreams and I stood straight again. My eyes stayed on her a moment, unsure of what exactly I found as I stared at her, before the cooing of a child broke my foggy thoughts.
I turned away from the bedside and went to quiet one of our children. Tonight, Ashk would sleep.
The Next Morning
Ana
I walked into the kitchener, attempting to be quiet as I did so. Upstairs, Ryn and our son were still sleeping. So was Ashk, thank the gods.
But, I was amused to see Haldir downstairs, one child secure in his arms, the other giggling away on the day bed in the common room.
I glanced at Moriana as she bobbed back and forth, obviously entertaining herself. I smiled.
"Good morning," Haldir greeted.
My blood, at first, boiled. But, it simmered only a moment later. It had been months since my arrival and though I still felt the initial sting of Haldir's presence, he had never been anything but cordial to me. For this, I loathed him but couldn't bring myself to be as vile as I wanted to. He just had to be so cursed calm all the time.
It also did not help that his sleek handsomeness was molded into an adorable portrait as he had his son cradled in his arms and a towel over his shoulder.
Knowing that even I saw this, I silently worried for my sister.
"Good morning," I replied, moving to take Moriana in my arms. However, she nearly cried and I paused. I backed away and she relaxed again. I frowned. Reaching for her, she whimpered, her face wrinkling in a wail ready to break. I moved away and she calmed again.
I could hardly ignore the smothered chuckle from her father.
"What? Have you poisoned her little mind?" I asked, peering at him before looking to my niece again. She was happily bobbing back and forth again. My frown deepened.
"Poisoned?" Haldir repeated, turning to look at me. Curse him straight to Mordor! If he would just put that child down, I could glare at him. If I didn't despise him so, the sight would almost warm my heart.
A warrior with a child was just something that touched even the coldest…
But, I did despise him. Even in the times I found myself laughing with him, I could hear that voice in my head warning me to stay away from him. It was easy to like him…It was easy to love him, and because of that I dreaded every day my sister was with him.
I growled at the thought and turned away from my niece. "Haldir, I think it's been long enough of all this," I said. He sobered and raised a brow while his son hiccupped.
"I suppose I agree," he said slowly.
However intrigued I was by his words, I shook my head, pulling out a chair and sitting ungracefully. "I don't think you understand. I'm talking about Ashk; your and Ashk."
He stiffened, I could see it. His already steely eyes hardened further and went void of any thought or emotion.
"What does that imply?" he asked, his voice was low and rough. It was a warning. I raised a challenging brow at him. He may be the father of Ashk's children, but I was her sister. I knew her better than any.
"Haldir, for the Gods' sakes, don't you see what is happening?" I demanded, glaring at him. He only stared back and I ground out a curse or two. "Warden, I realize that you're doing this out of duty and honor - I respect that. But duty and honor can be seen as so many things to a woman who looks."
He continued to stare without a word.
Finally, I sighed. "I'm going to ask Ashk to come with us," I said bluntly.
At this, his empty eyes flared at first in surprise and shock, in nothing less than rage. "You can't do that."
I laughed. "Can't?" I echoed and felt colder than a January night as I laughed again, shaking my head at the fool. "Can't, you say? Haldir, she is my sister and neither of us are your precious Galadhrim. We do not follow your rules."
"It is not a rule, Ana. You cannot just take her away!" His voice raised slightly and with it went my temper.
"Why not? She's my sister! She deserves a life!" I hissed, trying to keep my voice down.
"She has a life! Here!" he growled back. Onduras squirmed in his arms. With a frustrated breath, he moved to put the child beside his sibling and turned on me again, ripping the towel from his shoulder as I was already swelling another breath.
"Life? Haldir, this isn't life for her! Days of working in a tavern, balancing children, and waiting on your return is not life!"
"What would she find away from here?" Haldir snapped at me.
I stood, shoving my chair back as I did so. "Her own path, that's what! Don't you see what is going on here? If she stays here in Celebruim, she'll chain herself to you. She already has!
"Those children she raises will live beyond her days that would only be of what joy she managed to find. She'll never have more children, Warden. She'll never marry someone she loves. She'll never see grandchildren all of her days!"
"What do you want me to do, Ana? What am I supposed to do?"
"Let her go," I pled. "I am not telling you this to get you angry, I'm telling you so you know what's going on. I will ask her to leave, to rejoin her family, Haldir, and if she chooses yes, I'm asking you not to stand in her way."
Haldir's eyes turned to ice on me, but when they shifted to his children I couldn't help but notice how quickly they thawed…and how quickly they suddenly flashed in worry.
What was he thinking behind that mask of his?
Finally, he looked away from his children and to me. He shook his head. "She won't leave," he said lowly.
I raised a brow. "Oh? Why not?"
He could only look at me before I could see the answer shining back at me. He couldn't tell me in words. He was unable explain it. He just knew. And because he knew with no other explanation, I felt the cold fingers of reality slide over me.
My husband was right…
Why did fate have to be so cruel?
"We will see, March Warden," I said lowly. "We will see."
Afternoon
Haldir
I was nervous. I was never nervous.
Ashk and Ana had their conversation that morning. I'd known from the distant look in Ashk's eyes when she'd come out to the barn for Black. She hadn't said much to me. She just went about her business as if nothing was happening.
How could she even act like that! She was making a decision to wedge me away from the lives of my children! Who would they go to when they wanted to smother things into their grasp when Ashk would not give in? Who was the one who would give them teachings only a father could give?
No one else, I was certain of that. I would make certain of that if I had to.
And thinking of Ashk leaving – thinking of days when I would not wonder over her or find her tagging along after me – it caused something inside me to twist and turn…
I shook the thought away. It was the children…She couldn't leave with the children.
It was strange how attached I had become to them in such a short time. What had happened to my plans of keeping distance from this village and from them?
Ashk looked up at me as I came into the house. I paused, and so did she. For one moment, I could hear my heart hammering in my ears and barely noticed Ryn excuse himself.
Would she go? Would she leave and find everything Ana had said I'd stripped her of?
Abruptly, she went back to pacing the room with Moriana. I watched in silence.
Finally, she said, "I'm not leaving, Warden."
The words were so final and dry I had to take a moment. Reality came rushing back and I felt my breath fill my lungs again. Ashk glanced at me and something flashed in her eyes that I didn't recognize.
I cleared my throat quietly and entered the house further.
"...What made you stay?" I asked, unsure of what I wanted the answer to be.
She paused again before turning to look at me. "My title is wife and mother...I don't have the luxury to leave, Warden…and I won't deprive you of your children for my own sake."
For some reason, I felt guilt lay its greedy hand on me.
"My life here isn't horrible," she added, forcing a smile at me.
I nodded and looked away from her. Her eyes were filled with something that looked like hope and I didn't understand it...nor did I wish to.
"Good," was all I could manage to say.
When I looked at her again, that strange light of hope was gone.
And, somewhere in me, I felt its empty echo.
- - -
I hope that was enjoyable. Hope to hear from you guys as always!
Next Update set for: December 16th