A/N: Wow, this one is quite long (for me)! That also is why it took longer. But now, here it is, chapter seven!
Thanks very much for the reviews so far - as always I'll drop some comments in this place.
Macross-Green: I thought about your suggestion regarding Raine and build in a little scene. I hope it fits your expectations and is entertaining!
Lloyd (Irving) Aurion: Maybe you're right and Sheena wouldn't act the way I pictured it. But I had my reasons to do so, I hope they will become clear with this chapter. If not, well, then please tell me. However, thanks for being honest, that's what I want you to be!
Now, enjoy the new chapter everyone, please review!
Moonlight
"Hey everyone", Lloyd said as he entered the foyer. "Does anyone know where Sheena is?"
"I thought she was with you?" Genis asked in surprise.
"Uh, well, she's not. Haven't seen her since we did the dishes."
"Maybe she's in her room then", Raine suggested.
"I'm not that stupid! That was the first place I checked out, but Presea was the only one there."
"Perhaps she went outside?" Colette presumed. "A while ago she said something about how nice the town looked."
"Hm, any other ideas?"
"Well, if she's not in my bed, then I don't know", Zelos commented.
"Which means no", Regal added calmly, causing Zelos to sigh.
"All right, I'll take a look outside then", Lloyd said and went to the inn's door.
"Oh, Lloyd", Raine interjected. "I want to talk to you all later, so don't stay out too long. If you find Sheena, then tell her that as well."
"Yeah", he answered and left.
"By the way, does anyone already know why Lloyd left us all of a sudden?" Genis asked.
"Not yet", Regal answered. Nobody objected, so he continued: "I think he had his reasons, although me may not understand them. We can offer him to speak about it, yet we should not force him. If he wants to talk about it, he will entrust himself to someone."
"I hope he does. As long as the reasons why he left are still present..." Genis didn't complete the sentence, but everyone knew what he wanted to say.
Lloyd wandered around in the snowy town of Flanoir, searching for Sheena. I hope she is all right, he thought. Why would she leave without telling anyone? Maybe she wants to be alone... Well, why did I leave? Because I felt alone somehow.
Lost in thought, he nearly bumped into an old woman, only avoided an accident by chance. "Oh, I'm so sorry!" he apologised.
"You young people should really watch your step! This is the second time this evening."
"The second time?" Lloyd asked curiously.
"Yes, the second time", the old woman repeated. "I was just on my way to the temple, when this young woman almost ran into me, the eyes skywards."
"Oh. Er... this young woman - did she have black hair? A purple dress?"
"Don't say you know her? Oh dear! The two of you at the same place will cause a disaster!" she inveighed.
"Thanks!" was all what Lloyd had to say before he ran to the temple as fast as possible without slipping and falling.
To his relief, he spotted Sheena standing on a platform outside the temple, looking over the town. "Hey, Sheena, there you are", he said happily approaching her.
"Hey, Lloyd", she answered.
"Uhm, I was looking for you since nobody knew where you went. I... wanted to talk to you, but... if you want to be alone I'll come back later."
"No, it's okay. I'm just enjoying the sight."
Lloyd slowly joined her on the platform. "You like it? Well, I must admit it looks very... peaceful."
"Yeah, peaceful..." she sighed. "What is it you want to talk about with me?"
"Er... I... oh, before I forget it, the professor wanted to talk to all of us later. So she said not to come back too late. But that wasn't why I was looking for you - as you may already have figured out", he said and scratched his head. "Well, I... want to apologise for what I've done..."
"Lloyd, I already said it's okay", Sheena interrupted.
"No, it's not okay! I ran away like a stupid coward, I've used your sleeping-whatever on you, I didn't tell you anything although I knew I could, I've angered you - and I hate it when you're upset. I'm sorry for all that. Will you forgive me?"
"Lloyd, it's okay! But that's you, isn't it? I'm not mad at you, I never really was, I... I was just worried about you due to the things you said."
"Oh... But - when you're not mad at me, then... why don't you look at me anymore?"
"Huh? I do look at you!"
"No, you don't", he said, sounding depressed. "Yes, you do look at... my chest or my shoulders, at my ears... but you don't look into my eyes. Why?"
Sheena blushed and turned her head aside. "I... uhm... I... because..." she stuttered. "Because I fear what I will see in your eyes when I look at them - or what I will not see..." ...and then I will cry like a baby.
"What? What do you mean? I'm not evil or anything, I'm still me! I'm Lloyd!" he protested loudly.
"I know! But... Lloyd, I... I can't tell you - it's not your fault! I can't expect you understand that, but... please, don't ask any further..."
Lloyd sighed and shook his head. "It hurts to hear that... But I won't ask you again - there are also things I don't tell anyone, so I can't blame you for doing so..."
"Thanks... I hope I'm able to explain it to you one day. Somehow, I don't understand it completely myself..."
Time passed in silence for a while until Sheena broke it. "Lloyd", she said softly, then carefully grabbed his right hand with hers. "Whatever will happen, you will never be useless. You got that?"
Lloyd let his head drop. "How can I know?"
"Don't be so stubborn! I mean - I don't know all your skills, but that doesn't matter. You will always have a meaning to me, Lloyd, there is no one like you! For me, you will never be useless. Don't ever forget that, okay?"
"I..." he sighed.
"Lloyd! Please!" Sheena begged.
"All right, all right... I will always remember."
"Fine", she said, patting the hand between hers. "I'll go back to the inn then. It's already late and Raine wants to talk to us, right?"
"Yeah, I'm coming, too. - But watch out for old grannies wanting to bring you down."
Sheena started to laugh, and Lloyd gratefully joined.
"Well then", Raine announced after everyone had taken place. "It looks like we are completely assembled again. Today, we had an unplanned task to finish, forcing us to delay our quest of forming pacts with the summon spirits."
Lloyd dropped his head shamefully.
"But", Raine continued, "the task is done, so we can focus on our quest again. Coming to the point, I suggest that we visit the Temple of Ice tomorrow. Sheena, are you willing to form the pact with Celsius?"
"Well, I said I won't form any pacts until I have found Lloyd. Here he is, so there's no reason left for me not to form a pact with Celsius", Sheena explained.
"Good. What about you, Lloyd? Will you be able to fight with your usual strength?"
"Uhm, yeah, I think so", Lloyd answered hesitantly.
"You don't sound very confident. We need to know our forces, Lloyd, so - yes or no?"
"Yeah, I'm fine! I'm just tired, that's all."
"Good. What about the rest of you? Any objections? - All right. I was able to do some research and got to know about something named 'Celsius' Tear'. It's some kind of plant which has the ability to freeze practically everything. To be able to touch it without being frozen, one needs so-called 'Penguinist Gloves'. Luckily, Genis and I have already obtained a pair." Raine took a pair of gloves out of her pocket and laid them onto the table.
"Hm, looks like a normal pair of gloves", Lloyd commented.
"But these are not just simple gloves", Genis stated excitedly. "When you wear them, your hands never get cold, never!"
"Raine", Regal interrupted, "why do you tell us about Celsius' Tear?"
"Oh, it is expected to be found inside the Temple of Ice. Well, we will go there anyway, so I thought we might keep our eyes open. I'd like to do some research on it how -"
"No! Someone stop her!" Lloyd shouted.
"Lloyd Irving! What is that supposed to mean?" Raine asked being offended.
"You very well know what it means! You're just talking and talking and talking about stupid science things nobody wants to hear anything about!" Lloyd shouted back.
"Oh, do you think so? Huh? Science is definitely not stupid! It's the most interesting and exciting thing there is, but that just doesn't go into your bullhead! Right everyone?"
The others just avoided to look at Raine, fiddled around with their fingers, scratched their heads. It was very silent - a deadly silence.
"What's up with you?" Raine finally asked in disbelief, looking around. "Don't tell me you're thinking the way he does! - Genis?"
"Uhm..." Genis said embarrassedly, "maybe you... you're overdoing it a little bit, sis..."
"GENIS!" Raine screamed, unable to belief what her brother had just said.
"Just a little bit! And only sometimes!" he tried to comfort her.
Raine jumped to her feet, causing the chair she was sitting on to fly backwards. She looked like she wanted to shout some insults, but maybe the first time in her life she was not able to find any appropriate words. All she did was hurry away in fury.
"Raine!" Genis called after her. "Well done, Lloyd!" he hissed before running after his sister.
"I only said what everyone thought", he tried to justify himself.
Regal cleared his throat. "Well, it's late, we should go to bed", he said and stood up.
Colette faked a yawn and rose. "Yes, I could do with some sleep."
Zelos and Presea left without saying a word, leaving Sheena and Lloyd behind.
Lloyd sighed. "I will have to do the dishes for the rest of my life. - What's so funny?" he asked as he noticed a slight chuckle coming from Sheena's direction.
"Nothing", she answered smiling. "I just never thought anyone would have the courage to face Raine that way."
Once more, Lloyd sighed. "It hurt her, I shouldn't have said that."
"Maybe you shouldn't, but you did - and it was the truth. It's just you, you say what you think."
"I can't help it..."
"No, Lloyd, it's all right... It's why I like you..." Sheena blushed. Before Lloyd could say anything, she added: "However, Regal was right, it's late already, get some sleep." She stood up and went to the stairs leading to the rooms. "Good night, Lloyd."
"Good night", he said and watched Sheena go up the stairs and into her room. "Why do you always leave all of a sudden?" Shortly after, Lloyd also went upstairs.
Presea's and Colette's breathing was even and calm, indicating they were asleep. Sheena, however, lay in her bed with thoughts keeping her awake.
I wish I could open up to you, Lloyd. But to do so, I would have to lower my defense, reveal my vulnerable side I've buried so deeply years ago. And I'm afraid your answer to my offer will not be the healing touch I'm begging for but a deadly dagger you'll be ramming into my innermost self without even knowing it.
I know you care about me, and I know you don't want to hurt me, yet you cannot control your actions as long as you are not aware of their effects. Tell me, what shall I do?
Another time, she forced herself not to cry, begging for someone to wipe away the pain, for someone to tell her how Lloyd felt about her.
As Lloyd lay down in his bed, he suddenly realised how tired he was. The last night's sleep had not been very regenerative, plus the past day had been unusually exciting. Although there were still some thoughts haunting his mind, he fell asleep quite quickly. Soon, the world around him faded, making room for the unbound plains of dreams.
In spite of it being all dark, Lloyd was able to detect some shapes in front of the horizon. They looked familiar, yet alien, frightening. The more Lloyd looked at them the nearer the shapes seemed to draw, evoking a sense of danger inside him.
The warrior stood inside a circle of gloomy light which the monsters now entered staggeringly. Black, that was all Lloyd could see when he looked at the figures coming towards him. The lack of shadows irritated his eyes, making the monsters look flat like paper, leaving them without a face.
Lloyd drew his two swords and shouting he dashed towards the evil approaching him. Right before his attack, he closed his eyes and swung his swords, awaiting an impact or a counterattack, yet nothing happened. He reopened his eyes only to see the monsters still were several steps away.
All of a sudden, one of the monsters leaped out and attacked. Lloyd wrenched up his swords, but they felt mucous, unstable, like they were made of slime. His eyes widened in fear - but the monster simply disappeared. Lloyd looked around in wonderment, seeing the other figures also were disappearing, leaving nothing but silence and himself.
Then, Lloyd heard a distant, unclear voice call his name, a voice he had never heard before, sounding neither male nor female. The voice grew louder, causing Lloyd to look around seeking its owner but, no matter where he looked, the voice seemed to be right in his head.
"Lloyd..." he heard again, yet this time the voice was near, lucid - and well known. Lloyd noticed he had his eyes shut, so he opened them. "Sheena?" he asked unsurely, seeing her directly in front of him. "Lloyd..." she said again. Her voice sounded sad, determined, her eyes were closed, her face expressionless.
"Sheena, what's going on?" he asked again, feeling fear grow inside him. "Lloyd..." was the only answer he got. He wanted to grab her hand, but Sheena was out of his range, and the distance between them even increased. "Good bye..." she said in the same tone as before.
"No! Wait!" Lloyd shouted, stretching out both his hands for Sheena. He wanted to run after her, but he could hardly move his legs. "Good bye..." "No! Don't go!" he screamed, feeling helpless, lonely, weak.
Suddenly, it was all silent and black again, and again he heard the distant voice calling his name. "What the hell is going on?!" Lloyd yelled into the dark.
"Lloyd..." As before, the voice sounded near, and again he knew its owner. Lloyd opened his eyes. "Geoffry? What happened to Sheena?" he called out.
Unlike Sheena, Geoffry's eyes were not closed, instead they looked at the warrior in front of him like they wanted to pierce him. "People may hide... inside..." Geoffry said.
Lloyd woke up. He knew immediately he had had a dream and was now awake, he knew where he was and that nothing had happened - yet he felt an indescribable loneliness, sadness. For several minutes, Lloyd did nothing but lie in bed, noticing the horrible feelings fade slowly.
The moon was shining, sending out her dim light through the window. Lloyd could tell that Regal and Zelos were asleep, but he felt he couldn't go back to sleep now, so he got out of his bed and left the room quietly.
Standing in the corridor, Lloyd closed the door carefully, then sighed, scratched his head with his eyes closed. "What the hell was that dream about?" he whispered, then walked down the stairs and entered the foyer. As he lifted up his head, he saw someone standing by the window, looking outside. The moonlight accentuated the outline of the body, the hair, creating the illusion of an aura.
Lloyd stood there in awe, perfectly knowing who he was looking at. Wow, he thought, so beautiful... At the same time, the loneliness and the sadness were gone, blown away. Just standing there and watching was all he wanted at that moment, and exactly that was what he did. He was not able to tell how long this moment lastet, but time was not important. Eventually, the one turned around, slowly, gracefully.
"Lloyd!" Sheena exclaimed in surprise. "Uh, I didn't hear you coming - what're you doing here?"
One part of Lloyd returned to the world he used to live in, but his other part refused to do so, fought the powers that forced it back. "Oh, er, hey, Sheena, I... just couldn't sleep, had a strange dream... sorry I scared you", he said embarrassedly. He then heard some words, but they didn't reach his mind. And, he didn't know how and why, he found himself with his arms around Sheena, hugging her tightly, whispering: "Don't go..."
Sheena was totally unprepared, somewhat shocked. "Lloyd, what... where should I go?" she asked finally.
"Don't go..." was the answer.
"What's the matter with you? Are you okay?"
Suddenly, the second part of Lloyd also returned, causing Lloyd to be himself again. "Er..." he stuttered, then ended his clasping and stepped back, looked around in confusion. His face grew hot. "I'm sorry... I feel... a bit strange right now... looks like I don't know... what I'm doing", he said.
"Lloyd, you're scaring me..."
"I'm sorry", Lloyd said again. "I've just had this strange dream with monster... I couldn't fight them, and... then you were there, but you... were pulled away or something, and you kept saying 'good bye' to me... and... and..."
"It was just a dream! I'm here, there's no reason for me to leave! You got that?"
"Yeah, I know, but... when I woke up, it still felt real somehow..."
Sheena got closer to Lloyd, laid her arms around him. "You're an idiot", she said softly while hugging him. "I won't go away."
Lloyd returned the hug, this time being aware of his actions. "I know", he answered.
The two of them enjoyed the closeness for a while, feeling the touch and the warmth of each other, yet unaware of the fact they both did.
I will never leave you, Lloyd. Maybe it will kill me sometime, but leaving you definitely would.
What are you doing to me, Sheena? Why can't I remember my actions, my intentions? Why is my heart thumping like crazy? Is this all due to the dream?
"Lloyd", Sheena said after they had ended the hug. "If your dream is still scaring you, maybe you want to talk about it? Sometimes just telling someone what you have seen, what you have felt, is of great relief."
Lloyd didn't have to think about it, he simply sat down on a chair and started talking. He told Sheena all he had seen, all he had felt, what he had thought, how the impressions of the dream had survived his waking up. Sheena listened and felt for Lloyd, comforting him, hoping the dream meant what she wanted it to mean.
After Lloyd had finished, he sighed. "Thanks for listening. I actually do feel better now."
"I'm glad to hear that", Sheena said. "Say... what about this Geoffry? He told us that you were his guest?"
"Geoffry? Yeah, I was his guest, that's right. Well, he prevented me from eating poisonous berries." Lloyd thought about when he met Geoffry and chuckled slightly. "It's strange when you think about it - maybe he has saved my life. Just a few minutes later or earlier and I could be dead right now..."
"I don't think that 'strange' is the proper word in this case", Sheena commented. "It's scary... Anyway, what happened then?"
"Oh, he invited me. Yeah, he's really a very kind old man. And he knows how to make soup!" Lloyd smiled broadly while he remembered. "I think I will visit him sometime, maybe he will teach me how to make it."
"Is he living on his own there in the middle of nowhere?"
"That's right. He told me that he used to live in a village before, but some time after his wife had died, he moved to where he lives now. Damn, he told me so many things that seemed to be really important and such, but I can't remember them all!" Lloyd shook his head. "Well, when I forget things Raine tells me, I don't care, but the things Geoffry has told me... they really meant something", he clenched his fists, "things about life... But as I said, I'll visit him sometime, he seemed to be lonely although he has chosen to live on his own."
"You like him, don't you? You care about him, right?"
"Yeah, I think so. If everybody was a bit like him, the world would be much better I think. He doesn't trouble anyone. And he knows a lot of things."
Sheena smiled and nodded. "Well, which of the things he told you do you remember?"
"Uhm, he said something about not losing yourself when you are sad about the death of someone close to you - but don't ask what he meant by that, I didn't really understand it. And then he said that one can only feel joy if you also know what pain is, no light without dark, things like that."
"No light without dark?" Sheena asked. "That reminds me of Tethe'Alla and Sylvarant somehow..."
"Yeah!" Lloyd called out happily so that Sheena gave a jerk. "That's exactly what I thought! I can't be that dumb then, can I?" He smiled proudly.
Sheena giggled. "You are my little genius. Or should I say Genis?"
"Hey, that's not funny, I'm bigger than Genis!"
"Lloyd, it was just a wordplay, don't be offended. You better tell me more about Geoffry, okay?"
"More? Uhm... ah, yeah, there's something! We were talking about -" Lloyd suddenly interrupted himself. He didn't feel comfortable telling Sheena that he and Geoffry had talked about love.
"About what?" Sheena asked.
"Er... silly me, I forgot the word", Lloyd said to gain time. Fortunately, he had an idea. "Ah, I got it! About experiences, yeah. I was asking how someone can pass experiences down to me. Well, he said, no one actually can, I have to experience... things for myself. He said, it's like it is with colours."
"Colours?" Sheena was curious.
"Yeah, colours. Sounds odd, heh? But it's simple: Just imagine I had never seen... blue for example. Now try to explain to me what blue looks like."
"Er... well... blue is kind of cold, isn't it?"
"Huh? Oh, I don't think I could imagine blue now", Lloyd grinned. "Anyway, it's impossible to explain to someone what blue looks like. You have to see blue to know what it looks like."
"Hm, yeah, I guess that's right", Sheena commented.
"Well, that's all I remember."
"Oh, it wasn't that little."
"Maybe, but he said a lot more things."
"I see. May I come with you when you visit Geoffry?"
"Oh, sure", Lloyd said. "I think you will like him, too."
After some time of silence, Sheena was the first to speak: "Well, I think I'll go to bed now, I haven't been able to sleep yet and I need to rest for tomorrow."
"Yeah, I'll try to get some sleep, too."
While they went up the stairs, Lloyd remembered what Geoffry had told him about love, about hiding and being vulnerable. Do I... hide? From Sheena? Did she leave me in that dream because I'm hiding? I wish I would know for sure...
"Well then", Sheena said as she stood in front of the door to her room. "Good night, Lloyd. And sweet dreams."
"Uhm, Sheena?" Lloyd asked hesitantly.
"Yes?"
"I... I just wanted to let you know that.... I really like you", he said and blushed. "I didn't leave because of you, you didn't do anything wrong."
"Lloyd, I... uhm... thank you. And... I like you, too, I... we care about each other, right?"
"Yeah, we care about each other, that's right! We're a good team, you and me."
"Yeah..." Sheena now wished to see the look in Lloyds eyes, yet it was too dark. "Get some sleep now, I'll need you to help me fight Celsius tomorrow."
"You can count on me!" Lloyd said excitedly. "Well, good night then."
"Good night."
A little later, Sheena was lying in her bed, not knowing whether she should cry or be happy. I should be happy, shouldn't I? I mean, it is Lloyd - and the way he said it... Could it be?