Big Thanks To: Laer4572, Ms. Unknown, LJP (Twice, heh), Blue Fur and Puffin, Midnight-flurry, huntress73, crimsonskye, legolasnDcolorblueinterestsme, Julia, raven, Peredhel-Padfoot, sixty-six, snakefeather, toratigergirl11, Imithwennyere, Dazzler420, varda101, Kathy-SFF, Norie Ape1!
So glad you guys weren't too disappointed with the last chapter. This one...throws a bit of a twist on Ashk and Haldir's tentative relationship. Enjoy!
Chapter Seventeen: Mistakes
Ashk
"Good evening."
Rumil slipped into the chair beside me just after I was seated and I fought not to glare at him. For the past half an hour I'd been wandering on the edges of conversations with Haldir, all in which were spoken in Elven!
And, during each conversation I had to act as though I didn't see constant glances and obvious stares.
It was as if these Elves had never seen a human before!
"Rumil, you little twit!" I hissed at him, tempted to hit him. Haldir seated himself to my other side and continued with his conversation with another Elf.
Rumil shushed me as the other tables were seated. I had no idea such large tables even existed. Nearly three hundred guests were present, so I was warned, and there were only four tables.
Music continued to filter over the massive room from high above us. I had spotted the players only a few minutes after entering. I'd never heard such fair music in all my life. I would most certainly not be able to dance to anything they played no matter what Rumil said!
"My apologies for taking so long," he replied to me and I glared, about to say something before the sound of silverware tapping against glass rang into the air, silencing everyone.
Lord Celeborn stood from his place at the end of the table we were sitting at and he raised his glass.
His words were quick and fluent. I understood none of them and felt slightly awkward when others would laugh with him over something or another.
You look lovely, Ashk.
I jolted, my knee slamming against the table, shaking my glass as well as Haldir's and Rumil's. A few glances shot my way and I felt like crawling under the table myself as I felt my cheeks flush.
However, they all looked away quickly when Haldir turned his head to glanced down the table.
I sighed softly.
My apologies, my dear. I did not mean to frighten you.
I looked to the Lady of Light and smiled slightly. She looked so beautiful, more so than normal tonight. Her own gown was white, of course. Her long hair was away from her perfect face, but trailed down her back. She glowed like everyone else this night and I vaguely wondered how these flawless creatures could live in such perfection day after day.
Thank you for inviting me, my Lady. And for all your help.
She smiled slightly at me and nodded just barely.
Suddenly, everyone at the tables cheered and chorused a word or two, raising their glasses high. I stammered along as best I could and felt the relief as everyone soon went on with the meal.
"What is this?" I asked as an Elf served my plate. I peered at the food. Rumil smiled beside me.
"Well, that is…" He continued and I didn't understand a thing he said. I glanced at Haldir in worry, but he was engaged into another conversation. Looking back to Rumil, he laughed at me softly.
"Just to be safe, start with this," he said, his fork probing a vegetable. Warily, I picked up my fork...one of three hoping I was choosing the right one.
Half-way into the meal, an Elf at the table to our rear stood and proclaimed something quite loudly as he pulled a female to a stand as well. Others cheered and the instruments above us suddenly stopped their gentle playing.
Elves flooded from the tables towards the open floor where everyone had been conversing when we'd entered.
Rumil grabbed my hand, but my free one clung to the seat of my chair.
"Rumil, no!" I hissed as he stood, knowing that the dancing was about to begin.
"Come along, Ashk," he told me, stooping to talk closer to my ear. "We know this dance." I clenched the seat again and he sighed. "Ashk, we did not work for three months to have you sit around all night."
I felt a horrid nervousness rise in me as I looked at the other dancers while the song dragged into the air. He was right, I noted as the lines formed. We did know this dance. But, dancing in my common room and dancing with so many other eyes watching were two very different things.
"Ashk."
I looked up at Rumil and held back a cringe as I released my death hold on the seat to let him lead me to a stand. He walked me towards the dance floor.
I glanced back at Haldir and caught a brief look from him before I lost him in the crowd.
Sometime Later
Haldir
Wandering about the balcony, my eyes shifted downward as the song filtered away. Those below applauded and bowed to each other. Amongst the crowds, it was not hard to find Ashk.
She was now standing with Orophin and Elladan, conversing with a bright smile on her face. I also took a personal note that Elladan rarely been far from her all night. I would be chatting with my friend before the night was through...
Ashk looked to having a grand time, and I was grateful for it. When we'd first arrived, I was worried she would remain distant from the others, and they to her. Yet, Ashk seemed to be doing well. Those who knew Westron seemed taken with her immediately and many of those who didn't were fascinated that she was among them.
It was easy to see this night I had missed one thing about my wife. She was a mingler, as Orophin and I called it;ociable without care or reason. It was the opposite of me.
"Haldir."
I looked up at the voice to see Olimar nearing. I smiled at him and clasped his forearm in greeting.
"Arrived late I see," I noted aloud. He had not been at the tables when I'd looked for him. He gave me a look of mischief and nodded.
"Afraid I was...distracted," he told me with a chuckle. My eyes automatically traveled to where he'd come from, finding his wife and youngest – newest – child in her arms. I smiled slightly.
"I see," I replied. Olimar gave me a mutual look.
"You know how children are when they want something you will not give them," he grumbled and I laughed with a nod. He looked at me with a tilt of his head. It had been months since I'd last seen the Greenwood Prince and he suddenly looked at me in a different light.
"Orophin tells me you had a son and a daughter," he said. I nodded, sudden unknown pride rising. He chuckled and nodded. "I was pleased to hear it. However, I did not have time to receive their names."
"Onduras and Moriana."
A faint look of surprise flickered in his eyes.
"Onduras?" he questioned. I nodded. He had a look of thought on his face before nodding as well. "A large name to live up to," he mentioned quietly. I nodded once more, surprised at his look of understanding. I rarely brought my parents into conversations. I had no doubt he was surprised I'd named my son as such a living reminder.
He cleared his throat a moment later and glanced onto the dance floor. A smile traced onto his face. "I see you brought your elusive wife to the ball."
I glanced down, about to tell him it wasn't much my choice before I nearly gagged seeing Lord Celeborn bowing to Ashk after leading her onto the floor. I felt my dread grow, certain Ashk would not be able to dance with the Elven Lord.
However, as the two swirled around the floor amongst the other dancers, they kept a wonderful harmony. I wished I could have heard what he said to her to make her blush so obviously as he smiled at her.
Olimar suddenly chuckled beside me and a hand clasped my shoulder. "Haldir, my friend, sometimes you surprise me," he said. I gave him a look before we strolled towards the stairs to the lower level.
I hadn't even stepped off the last stair before I felt the air churn with an enticing scent…One that I loathed at the moment.
Her hand grasped my arm as Aluna came to stand in front of me, stopping any further movement.
Olimar gave me a look as the Elleth peered at me, weighing her magic heavier than she had dared to in the past. I felt it slide inside me as I breathed and trickle against my very soul.
For just one moment, I heard her voice - telling me to give in. Telling of the times we had had and the times we could have.
I shuddered against the thoughts and pulled away from her even as she spoke in a muted voice.
"Haldir, where are you going so quickly?" Aluna asked, slamming her magic into the walls that kept me away from her encasing grasp of both mind and body. I stepped back again and saw her eyes light and heat warmed my body as it should have only while in the company of a female...alone.
Anger suddenly blared. "Stop," I warned her, pointing at the Elleth. She gave me a surprised look, but the magic did not fade.
"Haldir, do not make a scene," she purred, moving closer. "I would hate for your wife to know what's going on between us…"
"Do not push me, Aluna," I growled at her, meeting her magic with anger. "I warned you once."
"Oh, and warn me again, March Warden," she said softly. The silk of her gown brushed my boots she came so close. "I never minded your dominant times."
I glared at her a brief moment before turning away, knowing if she put any more force behind her magic, my own defenses would begin to crumble.
My escape, however, led me onto the dance floor. Couples swirled by and Aluna's magic was still clouding my mind heavily. She'd used so much power I could hardly see straight.
But, then, my sight cleared as Lord Celeborn and Ashk swept by me. Ashk gave me a questionable look before I spotted Aluna watching from a distance.
If Aluna got her alone…
Before I knew it, my hand lashed out and caught my Lord's shoulder.
"May I?"
He paused a moment and beamed a smile at Ashk, releasing her and bowing slightly. Ashk looked more distraught than relieved as he said something to her in Westron. I didn't pay attention to them. Aluna weighed her gifts heavier as I looked at her over Ashk's shoulder.
"Warden..?" Ashk moved as if to look behind her before I pulled her to me and turned her away, twirling among the other dancers with an ease I'd forgotten.
Ashk
This was horrible.
How could I let this happen?
Curse that Lord of the Wood! I knew I should not have even accepted his offer. I'd been dancing most of the night away and I was growing tired.
However, I couldn't feel much of anything as Haldir and I swept along the floor. I was not oblivious to the looks cast our way and I nearly lost my concentration and stepped on his foot! Cursing myself silently, I tried to think of some reason to excuse myself.
"Are you enjoying yourself?" he asked before spinning me away. I tried not to tense as he stepped forward as the rest of the males did, his chest coming against my back. Of all the dances Rumil taught me, this was not the one I wanted to perform with Haldir.
Encircled in Haldir's arms was distracting and terribly...terribly…
"For the most part," I managed to reply, trying to ignore the feeling of his breath on my neck and shoulder. I was grateful when he spun me away again only to bring me back face to face. "How has your night gone?"
I cursed myself again. What was it that made me so nervous with the father of my own children? This was the worst yet.
The answer was obvious: he was the father of my own children. And though he should have been nothing more to me, he was...And I was damned that every day I felt myself want him more and more.
"Interesting," he murmured.
I glanced up to find his eyes elsewhere and for that I was grateful. But, in the next instant, he looked down at me and I jerked my eyes away, nearly treading over his foot again.
"I saw that you met the twins of Rivendell," he told me. I nodded, my gown suddenly seeming so tight. "Mischief makers and heart breakers, those two," he said with a chuckle that rumbled in his chest.
"They have dark hair," I said, looking up at him. "Like our twins."
Suddenly, he changed our direction to avoid another couple we nearly ran into. We jumbled around for a moment or two until falling back into step with everyone else.
"And here I thought you were graceful," I said, feeling some of my anxiety slide away as I looked up at his disheveled gaze.
"Very funny," he bit back. "Elladan and Elrohir have dark hair because they too have human blood in them," he told me, completely changing the subject.
However, this new subject perked my interest and my intentions on ragging on him ceased.
"Their father, Lord Elrond, is half human himself."
"Lord Elrond?" I questioned, the name quaking within me. "The healer?"
He nodded and I felt wonder filter in me. If Elrond of Rivendell was a half-breed and he reached such greatness, perhaps it would not be as difficult of a life for my children as I thought. The thought gave me some reprieve.
The song suddenly ended and we paced to a halt. I looked up at Haldir when he didn't release me. At my gaze, he suddenly jolted and stepped back, bowing. I curtsied in return before he motioned to lead me off the floor.
"I think it is about time for me to retire," I said, my heart hammering in my ears.
Haldir looked at me a moment. "It is early yet."
I frowned and glanced around as if the moon was near for me to know what the time was. No matter, I was tired...And now that I had danced with Haldir, I had no wish to dance with anyone else.
"I'm tired," I said in return.
He offered a small smile and nodded. "Would you like an escort to my flet?"
An escort. Did that mean him, or someone he assigned the task to?
Wary of either, I shook my head. "No thank you. I can find the way."
He gave me an uncertain look and I smiled at him, surprised as my hand reached up to stroke his cheek. "Do not worry so much," I told him. "I am tougher than I look."
His eyes flickered over me and I felt heat rise in my body. "…You look beautiful, Ashk," he told me lowly. This soft statement made me want to grin like a fool, but I only smiled at him further.
"Thank you," I said, my voice even with his although I felt as if my knees would give out at any moment. I dropped my hand from his face and turned away. "Good night, Warden."
"Good night, Ashk," he said as I walked away, up the stairs and away from the ball…Away from him before I somehow managed to pour my heart out.
The night air was gentle as I walked outside and I took a calming breath in it. The moon did not shine down through the trees, but the trees themselves seemed to gleam in their own moonlight. I glanced around the city I was in, struck by its beauty and ancient secrets.
How could I do this? I was falling in love with someone who would never love me…
With a sigh, I turned towards the boardwalks Haldir and I had taken to the ball from his home. After I left in the morning, I thought, it would be best for me to stay away from him for a few days.
"You there."
I turned at the icy voice that spoke common swiftly only to find the Elleth Rumil had warned me of. However, fear did not ripple as I saw her strolling towards me. Instead, I felt some unexplainable fire burn. I couldn't help but feel like a dog raising its hackles.
She was taller than me and as perfect as a statue as she came so near to me I had to tilt my head back to look at her fiery blue eyes.
"Can I help you?"
Ana would be proud. I sounded as calm and collected as she did before she argued with someone.
With Elves nearby, I hoped I could refrain any argument.
The Elleth chuckled and a voice whispered inside my head. It was cold and daring, not like Galadriel's voice. Instead, this one made my back tense and a cold grip slid around me. Feeling suffocated and backed into a corner, I stepped back slightly.
"Someone watches your mind," she said to me. "Someone protects your thoughts when you cannot yourself."
Galadriel…
"I would appreciate you not sneaking around in my mind," I warned, moving to turn away, but a stinging hand clasped around my arm.
"Where do you think you are headed?" she growled at me.
"Get your hand off me," I demanded, heat rising into my face as sudden, unexplainable rage boiled bright.
"I do not take orders from the likes of you." As if to prove her point, her hand tightened and gave me a good jerk as if she was barely refraining from shaking me. Behind her, a few Elves noticed us. I ignored them as I shoved her hand away from me.
"I have no quarrel with you - Now back off," I warned, pointing at her. Her eyes widened with a flaming hate I'd rarely seen in my life.
"Quarrel?" she hissed at me. "Any right Elf has a quarrel with the lesser beings finding their way into...Higher society." Her chin tipped upwards as her eyes narrowed. "I know who you are."
Fearing I would start to strangle this Elleth, I ground my teeth and turned away as I saw the interest in our conversation growing from the ballroom.
"You are the little whore that birthed those half-breed children of the March Warden."
I stopped but did not turn.
"That got your attention," she mused aloud and I watched her shadow near me again, her wine stirring in her glass. "It sickens me how you managed to sink your claws in that Elf. How he could possibly get past the stench of a human is beyond me."
I turned to look at her. "Seems to me I hear jealousy in your voice," I managed to say without lunging at her. "It must really burn you to have someone of lower society be chosen over yourself."
Something shifted in the air and Rumil's warning came back to me sharply. The air chilled and I could see my own breath as I breathed.
"Watch your words, woman," she growled at me, her voice low and deeper than it was before. I raised a brow.
"You watch yours," I replied, tilting my head and moving to turn away even as I spotted Haldir and Orophin moving fast towards us.
"You are privileged to even speak to me, you hideous little rat," she ranted, throwing her wine into my face. "Don't you dare think Haldir O'Lorien would rather have you than me."
I heard Haldir hollering at her, but at the moment, only she and I existed in the world.
"I would curse you - And your disgustingly rabid children; pathetic little half-breeds. I do hope we're all blessed enough for them to choose mortality!"
"Aluna!" Haldir's voice was sharp but she did not move her eyes from mine.
And before I knew it, my fist was curled and struck right into one of those flaming blue eyes.
Haldir
The unison gasp of everyone in sight nearly echoed. Orophin and I staggered to a halt as Aluna tumbled backwards, her feet flying over her head.
Ashk pointed at the horrid she-Elf as she stood over her, the other female floundering in her hair to see while wine still seeped down Ashk's face.
"Say what you will about me - But I dare you to speak of my children again!" Ashk warned her before turning away and stalking down the board walk, wiping at her stained face.
"Ashk!" I called, moving to go after her before Lord Celeborn came to the doors.
"Haldir, what's happened?" he questioned. I glanced the way Ashk had gone before turning to the Lord of the Wood as his Lady quickly followed.
"Little whore!" Aluna cried, her voice sounding like a child's as those who had been in her bed before rushed forward, helping her to a stand. I looked at her as she covered her face. "I will see to her!"
"You stay away from her!" I ordered, my voice booming.
"I will teach that woman a lesson!"
My mind reeled, my voice frozen in my throat as the air chilled and a frost layered the etching and wood around us.
"You will do no such thing!" Galadriel's voice shouted between us as she stalked forward. She passed both her husband, and my brother and I. She went directly to Aluna, her fingers clenching the other female's jaw.
"You will stay away from that woman," she ordered.
Aluna's eyes smoldered, but the chill around us faded. Galadriel released her and stepped back. "Now, go on with your wailing. Cry over that slap back into your place!"
"Seemed more like a reeling punch to me," someone near us said aloud. Others chuckled or struggled to with-hold their amusement.
Aluna glared at the Elf who said it before others suddenly started revising just how she had tumbled backwards.
It was quite obvious I was not the only one who had been waiting for Aluna to be reminded of her place.
And, amongst the laughter, Aluna wailed and stomped away. I watched her go with some voice whispering within me that this was not over.
However, my thoughts changed as Galadriel looked at me. She stared at me a moment before her eyes flickered to the path Ashk had disappeared down. Without a further word, I nodded and turned down that path as well.
Ashk
When my rage finally left me, my body trembled. In the darkness of the bedroom I sat in, I relived what had just happened. I tried to tell myself I overreacted, but my heart told me no. I gave her what she deserved. If I was punished for it, so be it.
Oh, I was certain those Elves thought I was as uncivilized as any could be. Invited to a magnificent ball, I managed to send everything into uproar. I'd hit one of their kin, probably a great noble for all I knew. After all, Rumil said she had magic. Did that no mean she was royalty in this realm?
What a fool I was, I thought, my face going into my hands. Surely Haldir would lose his temper this time. Worse than ever before. I'd disgraced him just like he knew I would.
I was such a stupid fool.
"Ashk?"
"What?" I asked, not bothering to take my face from my hands. My voice was muffled into my own palms, but I didn't care. I'd already made a savage of myself, what dignity did I have left to save?
I didn't hear him enter and was slightly surprised when a gentle hand suddenly slid under my chin and pulled me from my hiding place. I looked up at him warily.
"I'm so sorry, Warden," I said. "I don't know what happened."
Haldir sighed and sat next to me, the bed dipping under him.
"Well," he began and I braced myself. "I would have to say," his fingers rubbed his temples and he made a look of thought, "That a disgraceful she-Elf offended both you and our children...And you walloped her quite hardily."
I thought on it and shook my head. "Yes," I muttered. "That sounds about right. And I looked like a woman who had never been in civilized halls before. I doubt anyone even knew what she said before I hit her!"
Haldir chuckled, surprising me. "I don't think anyone was paying much attention. They were too distracted watching Aluna's feet fly over her head like they did."
I looked at him in dismay.
"What?" he questioned, looking at me. "I would pay to see that again, whether that makes you feel better or not."
I stared at him in shock before looking away. Despite myself, I laughed. I laughed before shaking my head and hiding my face in my hands again.
"I'm sorry, Warden. I should have listened to you. You told me not to come," I admitted, the simple declaration killing me.
"Don't be sorry, Ashk," he said. "...Before your little scuffle, you enjoyed yourself, didn't you?"
I nodded.
He smiled. "Do not be sorry, then."
Suddenly, I felt too close to him. Far too close. Those feelings I'd blocked briefly with my rage renewed themselves and my body warmed.
I shuddered, standing and moving away from him.
"Ashk?"
I stood at the window, brushing aside the drapes to peer outside. How could I feel like this when he did not even remember what how we'd met?
"Warden..." I turned to look at him. A look of surprise flashed on his face, through his steel eyes, and I vaguely wondered why. "Why don't remember me?"
His back straightened and his eyes emptied of anything. I stared, waiting, but he said nothing and I sighed, looking away.
"Elves feel emotions with a fierce passion, Ashk," he told me, his voice quiet. "Anger, love, grief. Some are known to die from grief…"
I looked at him to see his eyes take on a distant look before he shook his head. "Other times, grief clouds the mind."
He said no more and I swallowed.
"You were in so much pain when I first saw you," I said, remembering how he'd looked. His voice had been low and grinding, his eyes a hallow void of everything but a pain that did not ail his body.
Haldir only nodded. "I was."
I wanted to ask why, what had caused him that intolerable pain, but I withheld it. "I woke before you did," I said softly. "I was late for work, but I feared waking you as if to see that haunted look again. So, I left...and when I returned, you were gone."
Haldir shook his head. "I didn't even remember you, Ashk."
I raised a brow. "I know," I said. "But for that time, I managed to think of you as a passing dream."
He stared at me a long moment before taking a deep breath. "That night is often in my dreams," he said, surprising me. "It has been nearly a year, but I do not remember all of it...but enough."
Enough for what?
He stood, walking toward me. "Do you think it was a mistake?"
His question was so sudden, I jolted. He waited patiently, watching my thoughts fly across my face, I was sure. I swallowed.
"I did," I told him, shifting my weight and crossing my arms. "But now I..." I didn't finish, unable to for some reason under his gentle gaze.
"You what?" He loomed over me in the shadowed room.
I swallowed. "I don't know whether I hate to think of it, or love to dream of it," I whispered, my voice hoarse.
A slow smile pulled onto his lips. "Me neither." His hand lifted, brushing aside a strand of hair from my face. He tucked it behind my ear, but his fingers drew along the curve of my jaw.
I shuddered as he grazed my neck to the collar.
It had been so long since he'd touched me with such care…such affection…such lust.
"What is it about you that makes me think of you when I am away?"
My heart skipped as I looked him in the eye. He was staring at me and for once he didn't look as composed as always. He leaned toward me, our lips only inches apart.
"What is it you do to me, Ashk?"
I closed my eyes when he kissed me. The slow caress of his mouth sent fire roaring through me. His hands slid around me, pulling me against him.
That caress became fierce then, and the hunger of his mouth consumed mine. I could do nothing but feed of off him, my lips lapping against his almost desperately.
Suddenly, he pulled away. He was nearly breathless.
"Let us not make this a mistake, Ashk," he told me. I shook my head, unable to find my voice as my body already told me what was happening. "This doesn't change anything."
I didn't reply. I wanted this to change everything. Could he not see that? Ana had warned me against wanting too much. Would giving myself this night with him lead to wanting all the more?
However, as I did not reply Haldir looked down at me expectantly...and I found myself weak enough to nod. He nodded silently in reply, lifting me off the ground. He laid me on the bed.
And then there was nothing but bliss when his lips closed over mine. I felt my arms slide around his neck and broad shoulders as I'd secretly longed to for so long now.
Was I a fool?
The thought slipped away as I trembled under his warm touch.
- - -
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Next Update: December 25th