Massive Thanks to Peredhel-Padfoot, tree topper, Coolio02, Dazzler420, snitchnipper, Anonymous, Ms. Unknown, Artemis1860, sunshine, pamie884, Muddie21, toratigergirl11, kwe, laer, snakefeather, varda101, Scarlett Moonchild, Skyfire4, niffi, Julia (Gimli is multitalented, what can you say? Lol!), LJP, Norie Ape1, legolasnDcolorblueinterestme, Firera, Jousting Elf with a Sabre, Pippinsgal011890, Cekah, nexa, Laer4572, huntress73, Kathy-SFF, and tree topper again (Amen, sister! He's touched a lot of lives. And yes it was slides - Thanks! Didn't notice that. Thanks again!)

Additional thanks for those of you who were able to point out a few flaws concerning Greenwood's court. A thank you was added to Chapter 20 at the end if you would like to see that too, heh! I really do appreciate that for all those of you that helped in such a kind way. Hugs I just love you guys. I can't gush about my readers enough.

Also: A few of you commented on The Mage which just made me want to squeal with joy. I only have two more chapters to write on this (Chapter 26 should be the last of it) so The Mage is in process.

Hope you all enjoy and everyone had a fun and safe holiday!

Chapter Twenty-One: Confession

One Week Later

Haldir

I stood, some sort of pain ripping through me as I did so. I grimaced, moving slowly towards the wardrobe to dress. However, when I opened the doors, only mirrors were inside. Mirrors that reflected some awful creature.

Thinned, white hair. A slumped posture and wrinkles that lined every mark on its hideous face. Eyes that were obviously once blue were now an eerie murky grey that sang a sad tale of dying for love.

Who was this?

I moved a hand and the figure in the mirrors did as well. Baffled, I moved again. The figure mimicked the motion.

Oh, dear Valar - It was me! Wilted away like any who fades.

Leaves swirling around, withered away dead; faded from the seasons.

Raspy breathing. Wheezing through the air.

My brothers at that disgusting creature's bedside.

Death.

I woke with a jolt. Sweat trickled down my face that left a cold shiver down my spine.

I took a deep breath, air once again filling my lungs and I listened to the silence around me.

Foolish dreams…Nightmares of some untimely death. They had plagued me ever since I'd last seen Olimar's wife Hiera only hours before she'd finally succumb to her grief. I'd seen an Elf wither away once in my life, and I cared not to see it again.

I had fled from those chambers I had briefly visited.

I knew why the dreams had come. Dreams always had meaning, my mother always said. One had to look into his or her heart to understand what it was the dreaming realm tried to tell them.

I knew what my dreams were telling me.

The night of Olimar's memorial, I had vaguely wondered at Philiandra's words. Was I doing wrong by keeping distance from Ashk? Was I going to regret it later?

But, that night the dreams had come. Dreams of her death - her aged and dying eyes looking at me before I saw myself just the same…fading into grief I too withered away.

I couldn't love a mortal, I'd always known this. However, that one night of wondering what it would be like to let myself love her had been punished. I could never love Ashk - nor any other human. It would seal my own death. I knew this.

The Galadhrim would leave Mirkwood the following day. When I returned hom–...To Ashk and the twins, I would have to act as though nothing had changed.

I wouldn't deprive myself nor Ashk of those nights with her. But, no longer would those foolish endearments she didn't even understand whisper past my lips. No longer would I fantasize about what it would be like to have her and the twins in Lorien, under the guiding hand of the Lady of Light and the protection of my Galadhrim.

No, the rules I had placed for both of us all that time ago when we first met would return and be minded by.

I sighed and turned over in bed.

And no longer would I miss her so much that I would swear it hurt while I was gone.

The twins' birthday was in two days. Birthdays were important those first twenty years or so. It had already been a year since they had come along and changed my life. I wanted to see them grow with every day, and finally I would see them again in only a matter of days.

I smiled at the thought.

Two Days Later

Ashk

"Oh, Eleyn, you've outdone yourself," I praised, looking at the cake.

"My specialty," Eleyn replied with a laugh. "I brought some gifts as well!" she cooed, looking at the twins as they sat wide eyed in their chairs.

As Eleyn continued to talk 'infant' to the two, I wandered towards Gronig as he shooed away other good-comers. It was ridiculous really. For goodness sake, I didn't even realize I knew this many people, but everyone came to wish the twins a happy birthday.

"Is that everyone?" I murmured to Gronig. He laughed and threw an arm around my shoulders.

"Oh, Ashk, do not look so down. These people love you, that is why they come," he told me.

I made a face. "Gronig, I didn't even realize this town had that many people."

He laughed again. "Well, Ashk, you must realize you are everyone's favorite topic. Who wouldn't want to talk about the Warden's pretty wife and her adorable children?"

"Great - Now I'm gossip," I growled.

Gronig shook his head and turned inside with me."Come now. This is the best part of birthdays while they're still young. You get to test the gifts before they do," he told me with a menacing laugh.

It was nearly dusk by the time we'd sorted through everything. The two had mountains of toys now and the occasional new piece of clothing. I couldn't wait to put Onduras in a pair of cover-alls. It was just about cutest thing I'd ever seen.

And what was with the ribbons and bows? Little Ana was littered in ribbons and bows of all colors. She could wear one every day of the year and not have one twice.

"Is that everything?" I asked, peering around the room and the assorted piles. Eleyn looked around as well before nodding. "Good," I sighed, sitting down. "This was the longest birthday ever."

The two laughed at me and Donavon awarded a rare smile as he bounced Onduras around.

"I don't think it's over yet," Gronig said suddenly, standing and moving towards the kitchener. I frowned and looked at him before a shadow passed outside.

Past the window, I spotted what made my heart do several somersaults into my throat. My hands flew to my mouth to suffocate my gasp.

I bolted for the door, flinging it open before he even had a hand on it.

We paused a brief moment before I couldn't stop myself and jumped into his already full arms. The four packages went tumbling, but I didn't pay much attention to them as he lifted me right off the ground, his grasp enough to squeeze the breath right out of me.

"Oh, Haldir! You made it back!"

"Of course I made it back," he laughed and the sound brought ridiculous tears to my eyes even as I laughed with him. "I had a birthday to attend to," he said, putting me back on the ground and smiling at me in a way he rarely did. It was one of those smiles that made me wonder what he really felt.

"Don't forget us!"

"Rumil!"

Haldir squeezed past the two of us as I lunged for his brother as well.

"How is my little sun ray?" he asked between his own laughter as we stumbled onto the porch. Inside, I heard the twins squealing words no one could understand as their father swept them both into his arms.

"Rumil, I'm so glad you're back!" I exclaimed, not bothering to detach myself from the Elf as he seemed fine with holding me. "I missed you, so!"

"I missed you too, my dew drop," he laughed before finally letting me go.

"Am I ignored?"

"Oh, Orophin, of course not," I laughed, hugging him too just for good measure even though I'd just seen him three days before. He chuckled before ushering me inside.

Haldir was sandwiched between his son and daughter and was currently presenting them with their gifts.

"Don't worry. You don't have to like that one - Your Uncle Rumil gave it to you."

"Haldir!" Rumil laughed as he joined the three.

I felt like such an idiot as I tried not to look as though I would start to weep at any moment. Orophin gave me a knowing squeeze around my shoulders and winked at me.

"Glad they're back?" he whispered.

"More than anything," I replied, kissing his cheek. "But you've been good to me, brother-in-law."

Orophin actually blushed slightly and I laughed at him before Eleyn called us to finish off the cake.

Later

Ermone

"Word was sent, Ermone."

"And?"

"He's back."

"Good," I replied feeling the rage at even mentioning that Elf boiling in me. "How long will it take for the others to get here?"

"By tomorrow morning," said Meriel. "You can stall him until then, can't you? With the boy's help?"

I nodded.

"You will be able to get the boy to help, won't you?"

"Of course I will!" I snapped back. "He's just a boy. He will follow the word of his long-lost uncle."

"He better," Meriel replied. "I would hate to become upset with you."

I glared at the other man who happened to match my own shadow. "Trust me," I told him. "I want the Warden's blood as much as you do."

With that, I stood and went to retrieve my horse. It was finally time for my return to Celebruim.

Midnight

Haldir

"They had a long day," she whispered from behind me.

I glanced at Ashk as I stood in the doorway to the nursery. Both of the twins were asleep peacefully. Many of their new toys surrounded them as well and I smiled.

I had been baffled when Ashk and Orophin had been just about bursting at the seams to show me something. When they put Little Ana on her feet, I wasn't thinking much of anything. However, as she started walking towards me, I probably sounded like a fool saying hundreds of things at once.

I had just been so surprised. And she'd walked right to me. That said something, didn't it? She certainly hadn't forgotten me.

I smiled at my own idiocy as Ashk stepped by me to check on them both.

She shook her head in dismay. "They're already a year old," she said softly, shifting one of Onduras's stuffed dogs away from his face.

"Hard to believe," I replied. "Doesn't seem like all that long ago since that morning we named them."

Ashk smiled at the thought and glanced at me.

"Certainly doesn't," she said with a small laugh. Finally, she sighed and turned away. I moved from the door and she closed it until there was a crack to peer in from.

"Where's Donavon?" I asked.

"He said his uncle returned earlier in the night. I suppose he is with him," she replied, her voice as shadowed as the hall we stood in.

Valar help me, but I wanted to pull her close and just hold her. I just wanted to be close to her.

I had this planned out for two days. I wouldn't touch her - Would hardly hold a conversation with her. I had to prove to both her and myself and I didn't need her.

But my defenses broke when I was just near her. Those plans filtered away as I looked at her all night.

When that door opened and she stood there smiling so happily at me, I didn't even remember that I had plotted to distance myself from her. Instead, I just let her jump into my arms and embraced her for all she was worth.

"Come here, Ashk," I said softly.

She slipped into my awaiting arms. Her head rested on my chest and I breathed in that lavender scent of her that I had missed for months.

I shouldn't be doing this. This would prove nothing but that I was weak under her gaze and touch.

Thoughts continued to swirl, but I didn't heed them. I barely even heard them pour from my own mind as my hand slid around her cheek, tilting her face towards mine. Again, those foolish endearments battered to get out, but this time I was able to push them aside.

I silenced my own words by kissing her. I kissed her long and hard. She pressed herself against me, her arms sliding around my neck.

Gods, I had missed her.

This had to be the last time I let go. The last time I lost control with her. I couldn't afford to forget all everything anymore. Not with Ashk. She was dangerous. This was the last time I would forget my own reasons and worries.

"I missed you," she breathed into my lips and I felt a violent need streak its way through me.

I shuddered, trying to hold the words in, but beyond me they slipped out in Westron, in her native tongue. "Vala help me, Ashk, but I missed you, too."

With a small urge from me, she jumped into my arms, her legs winding around my waist before I went to the bedroom.

I couldn't do this again. Never again could I forget everything but Ashk.

The door closed behind me and my last coherent thought was my own warning to myself as we tumbled into bed together once again.

Donavon

I frowned. "Uncle, what's the matter?"

Uncle Ermone finally looked away from his drink and his eyes met mine. He had insisted that we sit at the far end of the tavern, hidden in a booth from others' eyes and ears.

"This is difficult for me to tell you, Donavon," he said quietly, remorse deep in his eyes. I leaned forward in interest. I rarely saw my uncle as anxious as he was.

"Donavon, do you remember that day...That day that everything happened? When the Orcs came?"

I leaned back then, away from him. That was the last thing I wanted to remember. However, I nodded.

"That morning - do you remember the forest we passed?"

My memory flickered to that day. The day I had tried so long to put out of my mind now came back to a blaring light - fuzzy and dark as it was, I remembered almost everything about it.

There was a forest we walked along for nearly a day until we stopped. Four men went in search of anyone nearby to ask for directions to a place called the Gap of Rohan.

"Yes," I murmured.

Whoever it was those men spoke to had turned us completely around. They sent us across the river not far away and towards high hills and low valleys. We hadn't questioned the directions, only followed them.

Yet, as that forest we'd walked along for all that time was just barely a shadow in the distance, the group we traveled with entered a deep gorge. It was shadowed and echoed every sound we made. Snow slowly tumbled down around us and I still remember how the younger children were playing before the first vicious cry gave way.

I pushed my memories aside then, willing them to stop before I'd gone too far back into my nightmares.

"Donavon, you know the person who gave us the directions to the Gap of Rohan...I don't know why he did what he did, but it was his fault for what happened? He sent us the wrong way, you see that don't you? You know he must be punished..."

Slowly, I nodded.

In the days after the attack, those of us who survived stayed among each other. Many swore to seek vengeance, and my uncle had been one of them.

"Boy, you listen to your uncle, and you listen well," he warned, leaning forward and pointing at me.

I felt dread weigh heavily on me and I waited.

"The one who gave us those directions was the March Warden of Lothlorien."

Master Haldir.

"That's not possible!" I exclaimed before the man shushed me. I glared at him like a lying scum. "That's not possible! He would never do such a thing. He would never hurt innocent people!"

"How well do you know that Elf, Donavon?" Ermone hissed. "Would you take his word, or the word of your family?"

I stared at the man before shaking my head. "You can't make me choose between something like that. We don't even know if he is guilty or not!"

"We do know, boy! One of the men he spoke to, Meriel, he is still alive. He swears it was Haldir of Lorien."

"He's lying!" I shouted again before Ermone's hand clamped over my mouth and a few visitors looked our way.

Gronig frowned and moved to join us but I quickly waved him away. If this rumor got out, more than just Uncle Ermone would come for Master Haldir.

"Don't call that man a liar, boy," my uncle warned me. "He is a respectable man."

"And Master Haldir is a respectable Elf!" I hissed back.

Ermone stared at me before sighing and shaking his head, his hands covering his face with a sigh. "Oh, Donavon, what are you doing, boy? Taking a stranger's side over family?"

I stared at the man a moment before shaking my head slowly. Somewhere in me, I wondered if he spoke truth. "What are you going to do to him?" I asked quietly.

"Don't you see? It's time for the Warden's own justice to be served," Ermone hissed at me.

"You can't do that - You have to talk to him first. Hear what he has to say!"

Ermone seemed to simmer a bit at this. Slowly, he nodded. "If it is important to you, Donavon, then I will talk to him. But it must be tonight…tomorrow others are coming."

"You called on others!" I demanded.

"It can be amended if Haldir proves me wrong."

Shocked, I shook my head. If others came, Haldir would be home and they would kill him right there. What if Ashk tried to interfere? Would they hurt her or the twins too?

"Come on then," I said, jumping up from the table. "We will talk to him right now!"

"Good idea, boy," Ermone replied, standing and dropping a bit of money on the table. Quickly, I led him outside and towards the Warden's and Ashk's house. This would all be sorted out. This had to be a mistake.

"Donavon."

I paused. We were halfway to the house, what on earth did Uncle Ermone need to talk about now?

As I turned to look back at him, he only shook his head.

"I'm sorry, boy. I can't have you mucking this up," he told me. "We've waited too long."

"What?" Baffled, I took a step back. "What are you– "

Suddenly, a hand landed on my shoulder and something collided with my head. Then there was nothing.

Haldir

I laid content to listen to her breathe. The heat of the passion had passed, but the warm glow we both held was enough to keep my heart hammering.

There was still nothing like making love to Ashk. There was something about her, something between us in that time spent together that burned me with a welcomed pain.

I was silent as she slept beside me. Absently, I slipped my fingers through her hair and every now and then she would shift, murmuring in her sleep.

Time continued to roll by and I felt myself drifting to sleep as well. But, a moment later, Ashk took a deep breath and lifted her head, glancing at me. I smiled at her before she laid back again against my arm around her.

Her hand lazily brushed my cheek.

"I love you."

I jolted at her whispered words and any distant thought of sleep faded. I suddenly couldn't hear beyond the slamming of my pulse in my ears and my vision darkened for just a moment.

I angled to look at her, but she was asleep once more. Did she even know what she said?

It didn't matter...She said it. She meant it. People told their deepest secrets in sleep.

I felt ill as I pulled away from her. I paused once I had unwound her from my grasp only to see her pull the blankets closer against her beautifully naked body.

I shuddered and stepped back, nearly staggering into a bed stand. Shaking myself, I dressed and within moments, I was fleeing the room like any foolish coward.

Why did she say that! Damn her! Ashk couldn't love me. She just couldn't. Her loving me was not apart of my plot to stay away from her; to distance myself. Her loving me was not possible! She couldn't.

If she said that to me again, awake or not, something inside me knew I would shatter and logic would be thrown to the wind.

That couldn't be. I had to leave. I had to leave her for a long time.

...But what about the twins?

Ah, Vala, I would figure it out later! I had to leave now. I couldn't be near her tonight.

As I saddled Kali like someone driven mad, I could hear the voice in my head screaming at me.

What was I doing?

"The right thing," I murmured aloud before mounting my horse and riding away towards Lorien once more.

Ermone

Bastard of an Elf!

I watched as the Elf Haldir rode back to his beloved forest as if the jaws of death were chasing him. When he disappeared beyond the trees, I was met with a very expectant and very angry gaze.

"...He's left?" Meriel growled.

I fumbled. I wanted revenge just as much as this man did, but he would kill any to get it. I would be nothing to him.

"No worries, Meriel," I replied with a shrug of my shoulders. "It is all within the boundaries of the second plan."

"Second plan?" he growled.

"Oh yes," I replied. "There are things worse than death, Meriel. You know that as well as I do," I said, glancing at the man. He raised a brow in interest.

"What are you suggesting?"

"His family in that house, Meriel...Why should he have his family when we do not have ours? Why does he keep what he stole from us?"

At first, Meriel only stared at me. But, slowly, a smile crept along his mouth and he actually laughed.

"Ermone...That is our new plan."

- - -

Good Lord...I have been writing for days it seems. I shamefully wrote the first chapter to The Mage Hangs head in shame. However, I must finish this first. I have only two chapters left now! Does a little dance

Well, I hope that chapter wasn't a rutter. The next chapter is one of my favorites for a particular Haldir and brother scene. Thanks for all your great support and encouragement! You've all really helped me with how I'm going about my original fiction business ventures.

Thanks for everything!

Ack - with all my blabbering, I forgot to put an update projection! I hope you all will be looking for it...Eek. Okay, well, look for an update on January 7th.