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Also, for your pleasure, those of you who have been requesting to hit Haldir - There will be a dunking booth at the end of the chapter. Whether you hit the target or just him, it's up to you. Lol!
Unfortunately, I could not do personal thank-you's as I wanted to with this chapter. I was called into work both tonight and I am expected before my classes tomorrow. Great being an intern, no? Gah. Anyway, hopefully look for them in the next chapter. Thanks for everything!
Chapter Twenty-Two: Revelation
Haldir
"Haldir?"
I looked over my shoulder at my brother as he peered at me, his eyes wide. I raised a brow at him. "What is it?"
"Erm…Nothing. I was just...surprised you were here," he replied as he neared.
True enough, I didn't often come to the place I was now. Settled between ancient trees and fading blossoms, this was a garden I rarely wished to visit; a place where statues of Elves passed stood proud still.
The shadow cast over me now happened to be the strong figures of both my parents. I didn't bother to read what was etched into the base of their combined statues - I knew the words by heart and soul.
Orophin sat on the bench space beside me and I sighed.
It had been nearly twenty-five hundred years since our parents had passed, but it was rare for me not to think of them from time to time. To think of how they lived their lives, or how savagely their decades had ended.
Sometimes, when I saw others the same age as myself still mingling with their mother or father, I felt some sort of resentment at fate. Why could I not have that same blessing to talk to those who gave me life just as easily as many others did?
Childish thoughts, maybe, but that didn't keep me from wondering.
There had been times when I vaguely wondered what my mother would think of Ashk. She'd always been so critical of any female I found interest in. What would she think of the mother of my own children?
Ada, of course, would have taken to her after a time. Perhaps he would have had the same apprehensions I had initially, but he would have loved her in the end.
Too outspoken for her own good, never one to back down from a challenge - that was the type of person my father enjoyed to be around. It was the same type of person he'd tried to form his children to be.
He'd had more luck with Rumil than anyone. Of course, he still had his humor, but Rumil didn't fool me nor Orophin. He was as wise as any, he just clouded it with immaturity.
Ada died so painfully fast - so abruptly. I had been talking to him just that morning the day of his death. I remembered the conversation clearly. Rumil's twentieth birthday had been nearing, the last of the celebrated years, and we'd been plotting to wish his childhood off with something he'd never forget.
That same morning, Ada had made a confession to me I'd never told either of my brothers in the years passed.
Amar was with child.
I still remembered the look on his face - Proud and grinning like a fool.
He'd left for border patrol, swearing me to secrecy until his return.
Yet, he did not return. His patrol had been raided by Orcs. Fifteen out of the twenty-five Galadhrim had died - their Warden among them.
News swept back to his family and I remembered being called back from the southern borders by a horrible looking messenger. I would remember his distraught face all my life.
The scream my mother had given with the news could still shatter my ears. It had taken five days as she slowly faded away from us. She fought to remain as I had begged her to stay in those five days. Until, finally, the Lady of Light sat me down and told me a horrible story of one living life without the love once had.
I had told my mother I would forgive her if she left us only hours after that conversation...and that evening Amar passed, taking with her the sibling I had held secret from my brothers.
There was not a year passed when I did not dream of the way she looked on her deathbed. There had been no beauty left on her body as her thousands of years aged her so fast. It had shaken me to the core and I had been terrified of the sight of fading Elves ever since. Their pain wasn't able to be fathomed by any other and they grieved until their dying moment.
I couldn't leave this world that way. If it meant I never had to love - so be it. Never could I be strong enough to struggle through that horrible death the way I'd watched my kin do. I just couldn't.
Granted, some Elves survived the death of their better-half. Lord Elrond. King Thranduil. Several wives of my own fallen Galadhrim had remained behind, waiting for their children to come of age until they too left this world.
Some thought I was not frightened by much of anything. It was true, really. I'd only felt fear so many times in my life.
...But I was terrified of love and what it brought. I never wanted it nor did I deserve it. I was a servant to these forests, fighting for others not to feel the utter pain of grief. I couldn't afford to be distracted...I couldn't afford to have a family.
"Haldir."
I glanced at my brother but said nothing.
"Why did you return so early? I expected not to see you for a few days."
I looked away. Did I tell him what made me flee the home of my wife and children?
"Something came up that I had to deal with," I told him, looking up at the unseeing eyes of my father.
Orophin nodded, not asking any questions. If there was anyone in this world that knew me better than, or as well as, myself it was him.
I suddenly blew out a breath harshly. "Am I fool, Brother?"
He shifted, leaning back and putting his ankle over his knee. "It depends on how you look at it, Haldir."
I turned my head to peer at him. "How do you look at it?"
His eyes stayed away from me a moment and he crossed his arms. Finally, his gaze shifted to mine. "You're a fool," he muttered softly. "I envy you, Brother, if only you could see that. You have two beautiful children who are always bright in the world and curious as their father once was. They love you like their hero - a title any father wishes. You come into a room, and their faces light up."
I grumbled, leaning forward and bracing my arms on my knees, running a hand down my face.
Orophin leaned forward as well, mimicking my position but leaning towards me.
"And you have a beautiful wife who has been patiently waiting for you," he said quietly.
My eyes shot to his and I felt myself glare even if I didn't mean to.
With an aggravated growl, I shoved to a stand and paced in front of the looming statue of our kin.
"She is waiting for nothing."
"She is waiting for everything, Haldir!" Orophin told me fiercely. "Why can't you see that? If you cannot look into her eyes and see that she loves you..."
I looked at him expectantly. "What?"
"Then you need to let her go. You need allow her to let you go and find someone who loves her in return instead of he who pushes her aside all the time."
"I don't push her aside!"
"You do, and you know it!"
...I did. I knew that. I purposely did it too. I planned the times I needed to push her aside.
I ripped my gaze away from my brother and stalked the forest floor as I paced out my pent up anger aimed at no one but myself.
"What am I supposed to do with her, Orophin? You tell me!" I pointed at him as if accusing him of a crime. "Let myself fall in love with her until only so many years pass and she dies leaving me with nothing but a broken body and a broken heart! What good is that?"
Orophin stared at me before shaking his head. "Haldir...you can't live life out of fear."
"I'm not."
"You are. You don't want to give yourself to her because you think it would break you in the end."
"It would!"
"Perhaps so, but what about the days before the end?" he asked, standing quietly as I only shook my head.
But slowly, that denying motion faded and I only stood still among the garden that always brought me nothing but pain.
"Haldir, ask yourself a simple question...If it was for her happiness, would you see her wed another?"
I jolted at the question. "What?"
"If it made her happy, would you release what hold you have on her?"
I wanted to tell him I didn't have a hold on her...But that was a lie. Last night proved that. She loved me...And what did I do for her?
"...If it made her happy," I managed to grind out.
Images of Ashk with a faceless man flashed in my mind. Her laughing with someone else, working with someone else, sharing meals with someone else, making love to someone else…
I shuddered as the thoughts pelted at me before I found Orophin looking at me with an almost smug look.
"What?" I growled.
He chuckled only once. "Haldir, my brother...You're in love."
"I don't love her!" I boomed, but he didn't so much as flinch. He only stared at me with a shake of his head.
Slowly, I felt my well-put barriers begin to crumble. Every moment I spent with Ashk seemed to come flying at me and with them came some sort of feeling I did not understand.
I sighed, previous anger fading to a twirling mist and I sat once more on the bench I had been on minutes before. Again, I rubbed my face with my hands.
"I can't love her," I muttered into my hands.
Orophin's shadow cast over me. "You can...and you do."
I looked up at him and he gave me a critical look before I shifted my eyes away.
Perhaps it wasn't right for me to love her. It was dangerous...But, Valar help me, I did. More than anything.
Ashk
I wandered the house hoping to find him somewhere within its walls. But, Haldir was no where to be found. And as I peered out the window I saw that Black was alone in the corral.
Where had he run off to so suddenly in the night? I didn't even remember him leaving.
One of the twins whimpered down the hall and I sighed, moving away from the window and towards the nursery. Moriana was standing at her crib and I smiled at her.
"Good morning," I greeted. She cooed in return and said something I couldn't understand. I laughed and lifted her from her crib.
"Next year by this time, you'll have a big bed and your own room," I told him, placing her on the table to get him dressed for the day. She giggled at me.
"Boo."
"Boo," I repeated with a grin.
By the time she was dressed, Onduras was still sleeping. I looked at him a moment before taking Moriana down the hall to dress myself. I glanced in the mirror once I was through and saw a dull figure peering back at me.
No wonder Haldir had left. I was so plain compared to his people. What would make him stay here?
And to think, I had a dream just that night that I told him what I really felt. I told him I loved him.
With a roll of my eyes and a glare at the mirror I turned away once again. However, one of Moriana's numerous new ribbons caught my eye. It was a simple brown one. With a resigned look at my daughter, I held it up.
"Should we walk a little wilder today?"
She clapped. "Rum!"
"No rum," I said, tying my hair away from my face. I glanced in the mirror, not seeing much of a difference, before retrieving my daughter once more.
I was headed down the stairs when someone knocked at the door. Surprised, I frowned and moved to answer it, settling Little Ana on my hip.
The visitor knocked again and I hurried my step.
Opening the door, I was surprised to see who I did.
"Ermone," I greeted. "What a surprise to see you."
"I can imagine, Ashk," he replied, his voice more distant than the last time I had spoken with him. "I just wanted to see if you knew where Donavon had run off to."
"Run off?" I echoed with a frown. "What do you mean? I thought he was with you."
"He was. But, something seemed to be bothering him, and when I asked, he ran from me like I was death himself," he told me with an innocent shrug of his shoulders. "I can't leave knowing he doesn't have anywhere to go."
I frowned at him. "He can come here when he wishes to, I assure you," I said, suddenly aware that there were three men on horses not far from my porch, watching in interest. However, they held the reins of four other horses. Riderless horses.
I swallowed and Ermone looked at me with a raised brow.
"Ashk, you look a bit pale," he told me softly. "What's wrong?"
I glanced at the horsemen again before I heard something move towards the back of the house.
Oh Gods, the kitchen door. I hadn't latched it last night. I never latched the doors when Haldir was home.
"What are you doing?" I asked, stepping back.
Ermone didn't answer, but instead shoved me backwards inside the house before I could slam the door in his face.
I staggered back, desperate to hold my balance with my daughter in grasp as she immediately started crying.
"What's wrong, Ashk? Frightened of me so suddenly?"
I didn't know what he was doing, or what he wanted, but I knew I didn't need to be near him.
I moved to bolt for the kitchener, knives were in there, but three men plowed in through the door there.
I yelped in surprised, suddenly being squeezed in by the four men. Glancing between them, I shifted Ana before bolting up the stairs. Someone laughed, but the others hollered at me, heavy feet following as I came to the top.
Panicking, I shoved the hall bench with my foot and it went tumbling down the stairs, colliding with the men there and tangling them together.
I couldn't defend myself with Moriana in my grasp.
I looked around frantically as I came to the end of the hall. I closed the nursery door before opening the closet and putting my daughter in a blanket basket. She peered at me with tearful eyes before I closed the door.
"Where are you running to, sweetheart?" a man crowed as he stumbled over the stairs and onto the second level. I stopped in my tracks before picking up a vase. He laughed at me as he neared.
However, the flowers in the vase were roses. As soon as he was close, I ripped the thorny flowers from the vase and lashed out with them. The sharp claws raked across his face and sent him howling in pain. He barreled towards me and I crashed the glass vase over his head with a scream. He fell to the ground and I barely avoided his toppling body.
I screamed as someone's arm hooked around my waist and a harsh grasp clenched around my hand with the roses, their thorns piercing into my fingers and palm.
"Let me go!" I cried, kicking for all I was worth.
Don't panic. Never panic.
Haldir's words came back to me as the man dragged me towards the stairs. His comrade pushed by us straight towards the nursery and where my son was.
I reached behind me and yanked on my captor's hair. He cried out, trying to pull from my grasp and released my hand with the roses. I raked their sharp thorns over his hand and he cursed, throwing me and the pain away from him.
I collided with the wall, knocking down a candle holder.
As I saw the third man opening the nursery door, I lunged and latched onto his back, my nails dragging across his face and neck like a savage. He staggered and we crashed to the ground. Something broke nearby and Onduras cried out in a terrified wail.
I staggered to get up, the man still struggling to unwind himself from a chair and blanket he had collided into.
I threw a reckoning kick between his legs before I jumped to my child.
He was sobbing, his loud cries ringing in my ears as I grabbed him into my arms. My own blood smeared on him from my hand as I raced out of the room.
"Not so fast!"
The man I had cut the face of dashed at me, snatching my son from my arms and shoving me down the hall. I crashed into a wall table, but flung myself at the man again.
A hand snatched my hair and twisted painfully. I cried out as I was thrown backwards and crashed into the stairway railing before tumbling over the edge.
Words and light collided as I tumbled down the stairs and landed at the bottom with a sickening thud.
I heard myself gasp as someone's hand grabbed the back of my dress, hauling me to a stand. Before I knew it, I was brought eye to eye with Ermone.
"That was quite a fight, little miss," he growled at me, throwing me away from him and sending me slamming into the opposite wall. "But now you better be a good girl before we decide to see just how loud your son can scream," he warned as I slumped to the ground, barely able to focus. However, his words left a horrible echo in me and I looked up at him in terror.
"No - Don't! Don't hurt him! Please!" Desperation peaked as I saw the men upstairs descending with their limping comrade and my son.
"Where's the girl?" one man asked.
"Forget her! Someone's coming!" a man demanded from the front door. Ermone glared at him then me before he tossed a black satin bag at my feet. "Put that on over your head. Hurry up!"
Oh, Gods. This could not be happening.
"Do it!"
I gasped, jolting and doing as I was told. The world became black and dark to my eyes even as I heard others scuffling about. Someone grabbed me and I nearly screamed. A sharp hand cuffed my face for it and I was dragged outside, the sound of my son's wailing was echoing in my mind and heart.
Why were they doing this! I didn't know these men!
We stopped, the sound of horses and other men grumbling reaching me. Distant sounds of people from town trickled towards me as well. I prayed whoever it was would hurry - Would save both my son and I.
Someone bound my hands tight in front of me as I strained my ears to hear through the battling conversations around me.
However, only three words echoed towards me, wrapping their way around me so tight I could sparsely breathe.
"Burn it down."
"NO!"
My baby girl was still inside. She was hidden away. I'd meant her to be safe!
Amongst my own horrid screams and struggling, I heard the crackle of fire.
My hands collided with something as I clawed madly to get away from my captors. Someone tried to grab me, to cover my mouth and muffle my screams, but I bit him through the hood I wore.
Fire whipped and I heard the shattering of glass.
"No! No - Please! She's just a baby!" I struggled away from my cursing captors and ripped the hood from my head. My eyes landed on the flames that leapt through the broken window of my common room.
"Grab her!" someone demanded as I whipped from a man's bruising hands and dashed for the house.
Someone collided with me, crashing us both to the ground.
"Ana - Ana!"
"Shut her up!" Ermone's voice shouted as I somehow watched the blur of fire grow through my weeping eyes. I was hauled to a stand, dust from our struggling filling my lungs. I kicked and clawed and screamed with all my might, but it did nothing for me.
I couldn't see through my tearful eyes as I heard something in the house splinter and fall.
The shrill scream that left me did not even sound human as I wailed my child's name.
"ANA!"
Then, there was a scuffle...pain..then nothing but shadowed darkness.
Celeborn
I stopped, slightly winded, as I spotted his brother running towards him. The youngest of the three, Rumil always had been the most loyal and faithful to his kin.
But, now his eyes were as devastated as my own surely were. His face was pale and his strides panicked.
Selfishly, I felt the timid relief that it was not I to tell my Warden what had happened north of these woods; what had happened to his small family.
Rumil spoke too fast for his brother to understand as he collided with Haldir, nearly toppling them both to the ground.
Haldir took his brother's shoulders and shook him, demanding to know what was wrong. The Galadhrim took a deep breath, his own hands gripping his brother's shoulders.
"Something has happened in Celebruim, Haldir. The house is burning!"
Rumil himself did not know the details. I was only aware that a patrolling Galadhrim had spotted the fire burning high into the morning sky and had casually passed the information on until it reached Haldir's youngest brother.
I knew this because of my wife's panicked voice reaching me this morning even from her distance in Rivendell.
Rumil didn't know what I now did...That Ashk and Onduras were gone; that the house had set aflame with an infant inside; why those men had come...
I watched as my dear Captain dashed away from his brother, bounding onto the horse he had been saddling. The animal let out a surprised shriek before bolting forward as his heels slammed into her flanks.
The future was forever changing...My wife had not seen this as a possibility. She had not prepared herself nor our Warden for this. No one was prepared for this I thought gravely as the leaves stirred by Kali's strides settled back to the forest floor.
Haldir
I didn't remember the ride nor did I remember first laying eyes on the fiery horizon. Crossing the field had been forgotten in a daze of blaring panic. I couldn't even recognize the people huddled near the house.
However, when I sprang from my horse's saddle, I only realized where I was when hands grabbed me; hands that stopped me from going blindly into that burning home.
People were shouting at me, but it was nothing more than a whirling tunnel of voices I didn't understand.
Then, suddenly, a tiny sound reached me.
There was a cry of an infant.
Forgetting the hands that braced against me, I spun and searched frantically through the people near. Something inside me shattered and the world around me became present and conscious again. I could hear Gronig telling me to stand back, away from the fire. There was the sound of weeping nearby along with hysterical chaos.
But, I ignored all this as a soot stained and red eyed boy neared me with a precious and squirming bundle in his arms wailing for all the world to hear.
For a few minutes that passed, it seemed only my daughter existed. And as she screamed and cried herself into a fit, I tried my best to soothe her, my eyes darting around, waiting for her mother to come to my side.
But she didn't.
"Haldir!"
Gronig was shaking me when I looked at his distraught face.
"We can't find Ashk or your son," he told me, his gripping hands having what would have been a bruising strength.
But at his words I could only shake my head. I looked around us frantically as if about to find Ashk with Onduras at any moment.
"They took them!" cried a voice among the chaos.
"Took them west!" seconded another.
I heard myself asking frantic questions and was vaguely aware that my brothers had joined me. Questions were answered with only further questions. No one knew what was going on. Everyone was yelling, swearing, crying...
...Staring at me in silence.
I looked at Donavon, the only one of this crowd not panicking. He stared at me. Something in his eyes told me that he knew exactly what was going on.
"Where were you?" My voice was low and hazed with a deadly hiss as I shifted my whimpering daughter to my brother. "Where were you!" I demanded as the boy remained silent. He still said nothing before turning away from me.
"What do you know, boy!" My hands lashed out, clenching his tunic and pulling him back, shaking him. People were hollering at me to stop, some trying to pry me away from him.
However, the boy's silence had faded.
Instead, an angry hurt took over his eyes.
"Did you do it!" he screamed at me. "It was you, wasn't it! It was your fault, wasn't it!"
My hands remained fisted in his shirt, but I felt sudden dread peel past my own throbbing fear. Somewhere in his eyes so suddenly full of rage I saw something familiar.
His eyes filled with a pain no other could fathom.
"What are you talking about?" It was Orophin who asked him, his own voice taut and strained with fear and confusion.
"Was it you who gave the directions to travelers the winter before last? Did you send innocent – innocent – people to their deaths that winter? They were Westerners, weren't they!"
"We are in need of a guide." There was a smiling laughter in that voice. Did these people not understand what forest they had entered?
"If we could acquire your assistance for a moment," said another, sniggering as if drunk.
I frowned, looking down at the rugged looking men. Three of them stood within the Lady's borders as if they were welcome and had the right to be here.
"Send them around the bend, Haldir...Perhaps they will learn their manners during their walk," Ferevellon murmured to me when I told him what the humans had requested...and how.
I glanced at the awaiting men. They were naive and foolish; rude and stank of booze and smoke. They spoke with no respect nor any dignity.
"There have been rumors of Orcs near the gorge," I replied to Ferevellon with a frown.
"That was months ago, March Warden," said Illidor with an even deeper frown. "They enter these woods without thought nor respect...Teach them their lesson. You've never been one to allow disrespect. They will not enter these woods again after their little trek."
I remained silent, swaying between decisions.
"Haldir, they will still reach the Gap...Just let them have time to think in the process," Illidor said then. I looked at him and after a moment, made my decision.
"Go east of here," I advised. "Past the river, just over the hills. There is a gorge there...Do not go through it, go over it. It is a climb, but it is dangerous to enter that place."
The men looked between themselves and nodded to me.
"Thank you, March Warden," said one man, a smug smile on his face as if he'd proved some great feat. They turned and left without a further word.
"I was with those people!" Donavon exclaimed, struggling to get away from me. "Mine was among the families they say you sent to slaughter!" He wretched away from me and staggered back. He fell, landing in the snow with a gasp.
I could only shake my head.
Ferevellon came skimming through the trees when I looked up. He dropped onto the flet I was standing on with a bewildered look on his face.
"What is it?" I asked.
"Those men...They were leading others. An entire band of families, Haldir," he told me, a look of anxiety in his face.
"Where are they?" I demanded, my hand snatching my bow.
"They're nearly at the gorge."
When I came to the end of the tree lines, the first scream ripped through the air. Those men didn't heed my warning...That echo came from within the gorge itself.
The screaming of men, women, and children shattered our ears. Sobbing I could hear from my distance ebbed away at my conscience. Screaming, pleading. The sobbing of children and women...and men.
And soon the horrid chaos of tragedy slowly died away and there was little else in the air besides the fluttering of snow flurries around us.
I had known Orcs had been out this far for months. I could have sent a legion to rid the land of them...yet I hadn't. I had known a horror like this was coming. I could have prevented this. I had the choice to prevent it. Why did I hesitate? What did I do to those people?
So, instead I could only watch from my great distance as the attack continued and I was powerless to interfere or stop it.
And as I watched, I slowly felt a shadow passing over my mind.
Walking over the blood-soaked snow, the sightless eyes that stared at me kept me silent, as they did my troupe.
No one survived.
I could have prevented this.
I'd sent them into a slaughter.
-
The city I stood among was wearing on me far too much. I had to leave. I had to get away for a night or two - Far from the eyes that looked at me in question.
"Where are you going?" Rumil asked as I mounted my horse.
"For a ride."
"To where?"
"To where ever I may end up." I didn't know. I didn't even care.
"Haldir!"
"You couldn't have been with them..." I muttered, aware of the eyes watching me closely as an awkward silence took over everyone near us, even my brothers. "No one survived," I managed. "No one survived."
The boy stared at me from the ground. I watched his eyes glass over with an enraging pain. "Tell that to your wife and son," he growled at me. Slowly he shook his head, tears brimming past his eyes and down his cheeks. "It was you," he whispered as if saying a horrible secret.
I shook my head, reaching for the boy but he only scrambled away in a panic, jumping to a stand before I backed off, baring my hands in surrender.
"It was you!" he cried. "You killed my family! It's your fault they're dead!"
"Donavon, son - Easy now!" Gronig exclaimed, reaching for the boy, but Donavon hit his hand away.
"Don't call me son!" Donavon demanded, tears still streaking down his face. "I'm no one's son!" he declared, glaring at me. "Because of you!" He pointed at me viciously. "Because of you! They'll kill Ashk and the boy because of you!"
"Who!" I demanded.
"The men who survived...The ones you stole the family of!" Donavon shouted at me. "Now they'll steal yours, Warden! More blood will be on your filthy hands!"
"Donavon, what do you know about what's happened?" Rumil spoke up, dashing by me. "Where did they take them!"
But, the boy only turned and ran.
"Donavon!" It was not only my voice that called after the fleeing boy. Two young men near his age dashed after him, but I doubted they would catch him. He was running like fire chased him.
I could only stare after him, stricken in shock.
- - -
Whew! Goodness that chapter has been a weight I'm glad to get rid of! I hope it was all right. I a few questions linger - how did Donavon save Ana, etc, etc. All will be answered in the chapters to come.
Again, thanks for all the support and I hope to see you all at the next update: January 10th.
P.S. Dunking booth is now open. Hands all reviewers baseballs.