Part 15: RUDE AWAKENINGS
Once he arrived back at his parents home at around 12:30am, Sean found that everyone had retired for the evening. He went into his grandfather's room after hearing the television was still on. Grandpa was sitting up in his chair snoring loudly in his sleep with the remote control still in his hand. Sean turned off the television and woke his grandpa so that he could help him get into bed. Grandpa woke up disoriented and agitated, calling his grandmother.
"No, grammy, No I don't want to go to bed."
"Grandpa, it's me, Sean." He said while jiggling his grandfather to wake him.
"Grandpa, don't make grammy put me to bed I want to hear more about my colored people!"
"Grandpa, Grandpa, Wake up!" Sean, thinking that their earlier conversation had him dreaming about 'colored' people, called out louder as he continued to shake grandpa.
Startled by the vigorous shaking, grandpa woke up. "Sean! Boy! What you wake me up for?" He said wiping his eyes to focus more on Sean.
"I wanted to help you get into your bed."
"I don't need no help. Smells like you need me to help you! I may be old, but I can still get myself in bed if I want to! You don't have no business waking me up!"
"Come on old man stop giving me so much lip and get into bed. You don't have no business sleeping in that chair like that anyway." Sean helped grandpa William up out of the chair and over to his bed.
Grandpa cooperated, but mumbled as he climbed into bed. When Sean had finished he kissed his grandfather, said goodnight and left the room. Before he got out of range he could hear grandpa shout, "Don't come back in here to help me with that stinking liquor on your breath! I can do it myself next time!"
Shaking his head at his grandfather's comments, Sean made his way to the kitchen and fixed himself a pot of coffee. Once it was finished, he sat down on the sofa in the living room and turned on the jazz radio station. He had been somewhat disoriented from all the alcohol he had consumed and now remembered treating Sheridan so insolently and he knew he would have to apologize to her the next day when he went to get his car. As he thought about what he would say to her, he slipped into a restful slumber until morning.
When morning came, grandpa woke Sean up while he slept on the living room sofa.
"WAKE UP, BOY! WAKE UP!" Grandpa was hitting Sean in the leg with his cane and yelling.
"Gramps, stop it." Sean groaned trying not to move his head from the torturous headache that pained him.
"You got a hangover, boy. Get up and drink some of this coffee. Good thing your dad ain't gonna be here to see you like this." Grandpa began hobbling back into the kitchen on his cane as he continued to chastise Sean.
"What do you mean he's not going to be here?" Sean asked after he'd gotten up from the chair and slowly followed his grandfather into the kitchen.
"He and your mother went on a trip to Europe. I think they started in Switzerland. He's been promising her this trip for years and she said that now was the time. It amazes me how that woman can just snap her fingers and your father just falls into place. He's just as crazy over that woman as my grandfather was over his wife."
"Switzerland!? Europe!? Well how long is he supposed to be gone" Sean stopped in the middle of the kitchen stunned at what grandpa had just said. "He has to be at Crealite Monday morning to meet with the new accounting firm that's suppose to overhaul our business operations. He has to be there!"
"Don't look like he has to be anywhere except In Europe somewhere galavanting around with that woman of his. Guess you'll have to handle it yourself, boy. Ain't you running things now? You have to stop leaning on your father for everything. You've got to start taking over like your dad showed you. He made you President so that he could have more time off and he knew you could handle it."
"I know grandpa. It's just that it's been a rough road with the company lately and I've been so worried about everything. I wanted dad there to make sure everything is in place and I was going to brief him this weekend on all the particulars." Sean sat down at the kitchen table, dumbfounded with what his father's excursion meant for him. Now he would actually have to meet with whomever Powers & Lambert sent to do the initial briefing and from everything he knew and heard about Elana, he could sense that she would be exceptionally thorough and attend the briefing herself. He could not fathom the possibility of seeing her again after all this time, so he put his head down on the table between his folded arms.
"What in the hell is wrong with you, boy? You act like your mama's about to send you off to school for the first time or something. Get your head up off that table and drink some of this good coffee I brewed. Don't know why you drank so much liquor last night. If you got a good woman with you, you don't need to enhance it with so much liquor. Where did you and that Winthrop woman go?"
Lifting his head up to taste some of grandpa's wonderfully brewed coffee; Sean spoke "We went to the French restaurant uptown. I had a little too much to drink and I took a cab home. Sheridan still has my keys." Sean sat slumped across the table with his head propped to the side and held up by his hand, while holding the coffee mug in his other hand.
"Got a cab home? Why didn't you stay with her, she is your woman ain't she? Didn't you tell me some time ago that you were getting hitched to her?"
"That was last night gramps, and I came home because I was acting obnoxious and thought it was best for me to be here."
"Humph, a young virile man like yourself couldn't get any huh? Why when I was your age, I was married with 3 children. When I was younger, before I got married I never had a problem getting invitations..."
Sean not really wanting to hear about his grandfather's sexual escapades interrupted, "Ok Grandpa. Ok. I get your point."
Grandpa was worried for his grandson. He knew that after his dating Sheridan Winthrop for so long that he did not love her and again it pained him as it had the night before. "Were you drinking to drown her out, son?" He asked more solemnly.
Sean looked directly at his grandfather and wondered how he had such insight into his relationship. "Yea grandpa. She was just talking a bit too much and she brought up some things that got me a little out of sorts, so I was hoping that I could relieve myself of my thoughts with the vodka, which I shouldn't have done. Anyway, I was so obsessed with not thinking about it that I did some terrible things and I just wanted to get away from her."
"What was on your mind so heavy, son?"
Wanting to talk to someone about his feelings Sean wondered if he could share it with grandpa William. He had always been able to go to him as a little boy when he felt he couldn't go to his father, so he decided to take a chance in this instance. "If I tell you gramps, will you promise not to get upset. I don't want to run your blood pressure up any higher than it is."
Grandpa reached over and put his hand on Sean's arm. "Go ahead son, you can tell me. I'm too old to worry about things that don't really affect me right off, now, so I'll listen to you and help if I can."
"Well it's about Elana..." Sean looked at his grandfather to notice any sudden reactions, but there were none, so he continued. "Remember we were talking about her last night?" Grandpa shook his head and sipped his coffee. "Well, her company is the one that's supposed to come and deal with Crealite. And last night Sheridan mentioned that she wanted to do some business with Elana. You know I haven't seen her in years and I was hoping I wouldn't have to, but it seems that everywhere I turn recently her presence is there and I can't shake it. Now with dad out of town I'm going to have to see her again and I don't know if I can handle it." Sean paused hoping that he had not caused any irreparable damage to Grandpa William's health and again noticed that the man had not changed his expression.
Grandpa took his hand away from Sean's arm and straightening up his back, then said, "Sean, you still in love with this Powers woman?"
"No, no. Of course not grandpa!" He said trying to convince himself. "It's just that when she left, I loved her very much, too much and it took me a long time to get over it, so I don't want those old feelings to creep up again. I don't want to relive that much pain again. And I think that if I see her then it will all come back and I'll go crazy or something. Do you understand what I'm saying gramps. I know she's black and you can't relate to me loving a black woman, but I really did love her too deeply and it was just so devastating to me."
"Now, first of all. I can relate to love. I was in love myself and I still do love your grandma, God rest her soul. And besides colored women are just like any other woman, so I know what you mean, son. I also, have to tell you that I think your lying to yourself or maybe just to me because I can tell that if this woman affects you after so many years of being away from her, then, you never really got over her, you just buried your feelings."
"If that's true grandpa then I did it for the family. I knew that it was probably easier to let her go and that you and dad would be happy to see Elana and me not together anymore. I know you had so many worries about it."
"Well, I can't speak for your father, but I was only worried about you. A white man taking up with a colored woman makes things hard for him. Sometimes people won't give him the respect he deserves and they'll try to take advantage of what they perceive as a weakness on his part. At least that's how it was when I was coming up."
"Well marrying interracially when you came up grandpa was illegal, so I can see why you felt that way."
"It wasn't illegal here in Connecticut, just in the southern states, but even if you did marry a colored woman in a legal state things would sometimes be hard for you especially if you were poor. "
"It seems that status is always so important even when it comes to love. How did my great, great grandfather make out after he and your grandmother were married seeing as she was poor and all."
Grandpa couldn't help but feel that his grandson's situation somehow reflected that of his own grandfather, so he wanted to be careful not to reveal too much if he could help it. "They went to Ohio to get married and then came to live in Lexington. At first things weren't so bad until my grandma got pregnant with my father and uncle. Just about everyone in town, knew whom she was pregnant by even though they didn't know that they were married. The men attacked her chastity and threatened to be the father to her next child and the women and children would mock grandma about the mule children she was gonna have. Even though she tried to stay strong, eventually it got to her and one day she came home crying. After that she had to explain to grandfather what had been going on."
"Now why didn't they let everybody know that they were married. That had to be better than them thinking she was loose and what did you say about mule children? I thought that was a reference to interracial children back then." Sean was confused and couldn't understand what his grandfather was saying. He eventually shook it off as grandpa getting confused about details that happened so long ago.
Grandpa realized his mistake and clammed up turning beat red in the face. "It had a lot of meanings, boy! In this case it just meant mixing the classes, that's all! And I don't know why they didn't tell anybody they were married! They must have had their reasons! Now, listen to me and stop asking so many questions. As I was saying, after the babies were born, grandpa, fearing trouble would start and that his boys would have a hard life in the south, went scoping out land here in Connecticut for his family. When he found it they moved here right away."
"Was the family in any danger after that? Did they get any trouble once they were here?"
"No, everything worked out fine. The only problem they had after that was grandfather keeping the men away from my grandma."
"What do you mean? Was your grandmother playing around on your grandfather."
"OH, no. Heavens no. They loved each other something awful. That was never a problem. You couldn't keep them away from each other even in their old age. It was just that grandma was very beautiful and many of the northern men in the territory were taken with her, so they tried all kinds of things to try and get her to consider leaving grandpa."
"Wow. She must have been something else. Did she look like Sheridan? Did you ever have a picture of her or your grandfather? I would love to see it." Sean asked, now growing more curious about his great, great grandmother. He wanted to see what she looked like and how she could cause such a commotion in those times. He could not help but to compare her beauty to Sheridan who was a dead ringer for Claudia Shiffer, but he had learned that her personality was nothing like Sheridan's.
Grandpa William was stunned by Sean's questioned "NO!!! No, I never had any pictures of them, not a one. And hell no, she didn't look nothing like that Winthrop woman." He lied about the photograph, knowing that there was one picture that he had always cherished which was of his grandparents with their twin boys on their land in Connecticut back in 1887.
"That's too bad, because you always talk about how much I look like him and I would like to have seen it for myself. I also wouldn't mind seeing my great, great grandmother. What did she look like."
"I told you she was very pretty!" Grandpa tried to sound definite, but Sean wasn't satisfied.
"Come on grandpa I mean what were her features like. Who reminds you of her today."
"Well I can't say that I've seen anyone who I think looks like her, but she had long curly light brown hair that had auburn highlights in it, especially around the front. She had large beautiful brown eyes a round face and smooth dar...I mean just really smooth skin. She had full hips and a small waistline and she stood around 5'6" or so. She had a very gentle manner about her even though she would never let anybody get over on her or her husband. She loved numbers and took care of all the money and finances, which played a big part in the fortune my grandfather amassed."
"Man, grandpa, if I didn't know any better I would say that you were describing Elana Powers, except for a few things, but we both know that could never have happened back then, huh?" Sean laughed hysterically as he said this and swatted his grandfather on the arm.
"Humph." Grandpa didn't see the humor and couldn't help but notice the similarities himself, remembering what things Sean had told him about Elana. After that statement grandpa thought it was a good time to change the subject. "Now back to this Powers woman. Son, don't worry about meeting her Monday. If you don't have any feelings for her as you've said, then you're just having apprehension about what you'll say. Take it easy and treat her like an old friend. You can't go falling apart. She's just another woman and you've had plenty of dealings with them. Let her come in and do her job and you do yours. It can't be more complicated than that."
"Yeah, I guess you're right." Sean said with a sigh, finishing up the last drop of coffee in his cup.
"Now on the other hand if you think you still have feelings for her and her for you, then you're not going to fare too well. Things can get complicated and there's too much riding on you keeping yourself together. Your judgement will be clouded with trying to get back with her, if she's not married of course. Don't complicate matters by trying to relive something that happened years ago. It's not worth it, son." Grandpa winced as he said this hoping that Sean would take his advice, but knowing that if his grandson truly loved Ms. Powers as much as he suspected and she revealed the same feelings for him, then nothing would keep Sean from her. He was a grown man now and having the Logan genes he wouldn't sit idly by and let the woman he loved get away from him a second time, no matter what the consequences may be and no matter how much he tried to fight his feelings for his family's sake.
"Yeah, I guess, you're right Grandpa." Sean relished in the advice he'd gotten and decided that he would do just as his grandfather suggested. Treat Elana like an old friend. He definitely could do that without breaking down because if anything they had together it had always been a wonderful friendship. When she left she also took away that friendship which Sean had never been able to replace. Suddenly, he felt a burst of energy and excitement. "Hey, grandpa, It's Saturday. How would you like to spend a day on the town with me? We can go to breakfast. Then we can go to the park and feed the pigeons. Maybe we can visit some of your old friends or go to the pool hall. When was the last time you got out of this house?"
"It's been a while, son. I'd like that. I just have to wait for the nurse to come and help me get dressed and give me my medication."
"Why don't I help you get a bath and get dressed so that when she gets here all you have to do is get your medication? Then we can head out."
"Sounds good, son!" Grandpa was excited and Sean smiled at the thought of getting grandpa out and spending more time with him. He helped his grandfather up and they made their way to Grandpa William's room. Sean ran the bath water and helped him bathe and get dressed in nice casual attire. When the nurse arrived, Sean went to shower, shave and change his clothes. After the nurse left Sean and grandpa headed out in a cab to Sheridan's house so that he could pick up his car. On the way to her house Sean instructed the cabby to stop at a flower stand and he picked up a bouquet of white roses.
When Sean got back in the car grandpa was laughing with the cabby over a conversation they were having and once they reached Sheridan's house, Sean and grandpa got out. Sean paid and tipped the driver and they said their good-byes. As they walked up to the door, grandpa kept looking around. He had never been here before and Sean just figured he was curious.
"How old is this woman Sean? Shouldn't she have her own place by now? I'll bet her parents want to hurry up and get her married so that she can get out on her own."
Holding onto grandpa's elbow as they reached the top of the stairs, Sean rang the bell and laughed at his grandfather's comments." This is Sheridan's place. She lives here by herself. She's just a little extravagant."
Grandpa continued to look around at the structure and at the grounds as they waited. Then Bernard appeared at the door.
"Hello Mr. Logan and sir. May I help you?"
"I came to get my car keys. Is Sheridan here? I need to speak with her for a moment."
"Why certainly. Won't you come in, please." Bernard opened the door and let Sean and grandpa in.
Sean introduced the two men once Bernard closed the door behind them. "This is my grandfather William Logan. Grandpa this is Bernard, Sheridan's butler."
The two men shook hands and exchanged greetings; then Bernard led them into the living room to be seated and wait for Sheridan. Grandpa was still scanning his surroundings.
"Looks like you should have brought more than those flowers, boy." He said as he spit some of his chewing tobacco into one of Sheridan's antique brass trashcans that sat beside his chair.
"Yeah, maybe I should have gotten her some candy or a stuffed bear to go with these." Sean thought as he looked over the flowers.
"More like diamonds or pearls I'd say." Grandpa snorted as he kicked his feet up on Sheridan's $1000 gold embroidered ottoman.
Soon Sheridan pranced in wearing a cream-colored pants suit and matching shoes. Her flaxen blonde hair flowed in large waves down her back and around her right shoulder. She winced seeing Grandpa William's feet on her ottoman, but held her composure. She headed straight for the old man hoping he would stand up and she could slyly remove the expensive showpiece. "Oh hello, hello. Mr. Logan. I'm so glad you came by to see me!"
"I didn't come to see you missy, I just came here with the boy." Grandpa said trying to avoid her superficial hugs and kisses.
Sheridan turned to Sean stared at him blankly and then sat in the chair across from grandpa. "Now how have you been doing lately? It's been so long since I've seen you. You're looking so well. What are you doing to keep yourself in shape?"
Grandpa looks at Sean and then back at Sheridan. "Which one of those questions do you want me to answer first missy?"
Sheridan laughed loudly, pretending to be amused, but realizing that grandpa wasn't much of a conversationalist. Sean, stood at the fireplace watching them and he knew that grandpa did not intend to spend too long chatting with Sheridan. Likewise all he wanted was to get his keys, apologize and then leave. "Sheridan I brought you these." He held out the white roses to her hoping that they would be a small appeasement for what had happened the night before. Sheridan stood up, walked toward Sean and took the flowers. She smelled them as she looked indifferently at Sean.
"These are lovely Sean, I'll get Hilda to put them away for me. Could I see you for a moment alone please?" She walked past Sean and toward the door.
"Certainly." Sean looked back at his grandfather and assured him that it wouldn't take long; then he turned and followed Sheridan out of the living room.
Once they were a few feet out of hearing distance, standing in the foyer, Sheridan turned around. "Sean I don't think I have to tell you that I was very disappointed in you last night."
"I know Sheridan, I was too drunk and I shouldn't have acted the way I did. I've just had a lot on my mind lately with the company and I shouldn't have taken it out on you. You're a good person and you didn't deserve that."
"You are right Sean, but what I was upset about was that you didn't say goodbye. I don't want your work to filter into our being cordial to each other. Is there anything else wrong besides your work?
"Like what?"
"Oh I don't know, but for one we haven't been out regularly in over eight months and last night you really were not yourself. You seemed to be somewhat uninhibited and I know that's not you. It's just that we don't seem to click like we used to."
"When did we ever really click, Sheridan?"
Sheridan moved in closer to Sean and put her hand on his chest as she looked up at him through her dark blue eyes and began pouting. "How can you ask that? You know I love you Sean and I know you love me. This is just a rough road we're going over together. We know that you and I have an understanding, we can dispense with all of the unnecessary affection because we're both trying to make a name for ourselves. I'm not looking for a lot of attention, but I know that eventually we'll be married, have children and all of this will be behind us. I was just a little upset that you didn't say goodbye, and I was expecting a little more than just roses, today, but I guess they'll will have to do for now. I'm sure you're planning on surprising me with a bigger gift soon."
"Sheridan, maybe I like being a little uninhibited sometimes, you know it wouldn't hurt and sometimes I do want a little more out of this relationship than just counting the steps on the ladder of success."
Stepping back Sheridan spoke again, "Now Sean, we both know that we can't always have what we want and besides things are just fine as they are. You know I'm not one for letting loose your inhibitions. It shows a lack of character. And aside from that by the time we get married I will be able to introduce you to some of the most prestigious people in the country. I'm working on that now. You will be internationally successful. Our children will go to the finest schools and be exposed to so many important people..."
As she continued to expound on the many economic and social advantages of their pending merger, Sean gave up, seeing that she had completely avoided what he'd just said and he knew then that there was no hope of any type of true love and passion in their relationship. He was a stepping stool for her and she was perfectly happy with the way things were, but he wasn't. "Ok, Sherry. I see what you mean." He took her arm and kissed her forehead. "Look I have to go. I can't keep grandpa waiting. I'll call you soon so that we can get together."
"OK, great! I'll be waiting to hear from you. Now maybe we can get together for lunch next week. I hope to get an appointment with Elana Powers, so I'll be in New York. I'll call you when that happens."
"Sure. That will be fine Sheridan." Sean stood there and looked at her for a few seconds, then turned around to go and get his grandfather. Bernard gave Sean his car key and escorted them out of the house. Once in the car grandpa had a few words to say.
"Son you still got money from your trust fund?"
"Yea of course. I really haven't had anything to spend it on. I bought the penthouse and I keep the car in top shape and then there's my business suits and a few memberships, and dinner ever so often with Sheridan. Other than that I really don't spend that much money. Actually I don't think I've touched the money in the trust fund. I'm doing so well in my investments that I thought I would save it for my children someday."
"Well, if you're planning to marry that one back there" grandpa was pointing behind him referring to Sheridan, "then you'd better get a prenup."
"Ah grandpa, Sheridan has enough money of her own. She doesn't need my pennies."
"It's not a question of need, son, but one of greed. That girl is as greedy as they come and I can assure you that when you marry her she'll run your accounts dry. If you end up divorced, she'll definitely go after everything you have."
"Grandpa listen to yourself. We're not even engaged yet and you're talking about our getting a divorce."
They looked at each other and laughed, then continued their conversations as they spent the remainder of the day together.
Once he arrived back at his parents home at around 12:30am, Sean found that everyone had retired for the evening. He went into his grandfather's room after hearing the television was still on. Grandpa was sitting up in his chair snoring loudly in his sleep with the remote control still in his hand. Sean turned off the television and woke his grandpa so that he could help him get into bed. Grandpa woke up disoriented and agitated, calling his grandmother.
"No, grammy, No I don't want to go to bed."
"Grandpa, it's me, Sean." He said while jiggling his grandfather to wake him.
"Grandpa, don't make grammy put me to bed I want to hear more about my colored people!"
"Grandpa, Grandpa, Wake up!" Sean, thinking that their earlier conversation had him dreaming about 'colored' people, called out louder as he continued to shake grandpa.
Startled by the vigorous shaking, grandpa woke up. "Sean! Boy! What you wake me up for?" He said wiping his eyes to focus more on Sean.
"I wanted to help you get into your bed."
"I don't need no help. Smells like you need me to help you! I may be old, but I can still get myself in bed if I want to! You don't have no business waking me up!"
"Come on old man stop giving me so much lip and get into bed. You don't have no business sleeping in that chair like that anyway." Sean helped grandpa William up out of the chair and over to his bed.
Grandpa cooperated, but mumbled as he climbed into bed. When Sean had finished he kissed his grandfather, said goodnight and left the room. Before he got out of range he could hear grandpa shout, "Don't come back in here to help me with that stinking liquor on your breath! I can do it myself next time!"
Shaking his head at his grandfather's comments, Sean made his way to the kitchen and fixed himself a pot of coffee. Once it was finished, he sat down on the sofa in the living room and turned on the jazz radio station. He had been somewhat disoriented from all the alcohol he had consumed and now remembered treating Sheridan so insolently and he knew he would have to apologize to her the next day when he went to get his car. As he thought about what he would say to her, he slipped into a restful slumber until morning.
When morning came, grandpa woke Sean up while he slept on the living room sofa.
"WAKE UP, BOY! WAKE UP!" Grandpa was hitting Sean in the leg with his cane and yelling.
"Gramps, stop it." Sean groaned trying not to move his head from the torturous headache that pained him.
"You got a hangover, boy. Get up and drink some of this coffee. Good thing your dad ain't gonna be here to see you like this." Grandpa began hobbling back into the kitchen on his cane as he continued to chastise Sean.
"What do you mean he's not going to be here?" Sean asked after he'd gotten up from the chair and slowly followed his grandfather into the kitchen.
"He and your mother went on a trip to Europe. I think they started in Switzerland. He's been promising her this trip for years and she said that now was the time. It amazes me how that woman can just snap her fingers and your father just falls into place. He's just as crazy over that woman as my grandfather was over his wife."
"Switzerland!? Europe!? Well how long is he supposed to be gone" Sean stopped in the middle of the kitchen stunned at what grandpa had just said. "He has to be at Crealite Monday morning to meet with the new accounting firm that's suppose to overhaul our business operations. He has to be there!"
"Don't look like he has to be anywhere except In Europe somewhere galavanting around with that woman of his. Guess you'll have to handle it yourself, boy. Ain't you running things now? You have to stop leaning on your father for everything. You've got to start taking over like your dad showed you. He made you President so that he could have more time off and he knew you could handle it."
"I know grandpa. It's just that it's been a rough road with the company lately and I've been so worried about everything. I wanted dad there to make sure everything is in place and I was going to brief him this weekend on all the particulars." Sean sat down at the kitchen table, dumbfounded with what his father's excursion meant for him. Now he would actually have to meet with whomever Powers & Lambert sent to do the initial briefing and from everything he knew and heard about Elana, he could sense that she would be exceptionally thorough and attend the briefing herself. He could not fathom the possibility of seeing her again after all this time, so he put his head down on the table between his folded arms.
"What in the hell is wrong with you, boy? You act like your mama's about to send you off to school for the first time or something. Get your head up off that table and drink some of this good coffee I brewed. Don't know why you drank so much liquor last night. If you got a good woman with you, you don't need to enhance it with so much liquor. Where did you and that Winthrop woman go?"
Lifting his head up to taste some of grandpa's wonderfully brewed coffee; Sean spoke "We went to the French restaurant uptown. I had a little too much to drink and I took a cab home. Sheridan still has my keys." Sean sat slumped across the table with his head propped to the side and held up by his hand, while holding the coffee mug in his other hand.
"Got a cab home? Why didn't you stay with her, she is your woman ain't she? Didn't you tell me some time ago that you were getting hitched to her?"
"That was last night gramps, and I came home because I was acting obnoxious and thought it was best for me to be here."
"Humph, a young virile man like yourself couldn't get any huh? Why when I was your age, I was married with 3 children. When I was younger, before I got married I never had a problem getting invitations..."
Sean not really wanting to hear about his grandfather's sexual escapades interrupted, "Ok Grandpa. Ok. I get your point."
Grandpa was worried for his grandson. He knew that after his dating Sheridan Winthrop for so long that he did not love her and again it pained him as it had the night before. "Were you drinking to drown her out, son?" He asked more solemnly.
Sean looked directly at his grandfather and wondered how he had such insight into his relationship. "Yea grandpa. She was just talking a bit too much and she brought up some things that got me a little out of sorts, so I was hoping that I could relieve myself of my thoughts with the vodka, which I shouldn't have done. Anyway, I was so obsessed with not thinking about it that I did some terrible things and I just wanted to get away from her."
"What was on your mind so heavy, son?"
Wanting to talk to someone about his feelings Sean wondered if he could share it with grandpa William. He had always been able to go to him as a little boy when he felt he couldn't go to his father, so he decided to take a chance in this instance. "If I tell you gramps, will you promise not to get upset. I don't want to run your blood pressure up any higher than it is."
Grandpa reached over and put his hand on Sean's arm. "Go ahead son, you can tell me. I'm too old to worry about things that don't really affect me right off, now, so I'll listen to you and help if I can."
"Well it's about Elana..." Sean looked at his grandfather to notice any sudden reactions, but there were none, so he continued. "Remember we were talking about her last night?" Grandpa shook his head and sipped his coffee. "Well, her company is the one that's supposed to come and deal with Crealite. And last night Sheridan mentioned that she wanted to do some business with Elana. You know I haven't seen her in years and I was hoping I wouldn't have to, but it seems that everywhere I turn recently her presence is there and I can't shake it. Now with dad out of town I'm going to have to see her again and I don't know if I can handle it." Sean paused hoping that he had not caused any irreparable damage to Grandpa William's health and again noticed that the man had not changed his expression.
Grandpa took his hand away from Sean's arm and straightening up his back, then said, "Sean, you still in love with this Powers woman?"
"No, no. Of course not grandpa!" He said trying to convince himself. "It's just that when she left, I loved her very much, too much and it took me a long time to get over it, so I don't want those old feelings to creep up again. I don't want to relive that much pain again. And I think that if I see her then it will all come back and I'll go crazy or something. Do you understand what I'm saying gramps. I know she's black and you can't relate to me loving a black woman, but I really did love her too deeply and it was just so devastating to me."
"Now, first of all. I can relate to love. I was in love myself and I still do love your grandma, God rest her soul. And besides colored women are just like any other woman, so I know what you mean, son. I also, have to tell you that I think your lying to yourself or maybe just to me because I can tell that if this woman affects you after so many years of being away from her, then, you never really got over her, you just buried your feelings."
"If that's true grandpa then I did it for the family. I knew that it was probably easier to let her go and that you and dad would be happy to see Elana and me not together anymore. I know you had so many worries about it."
"Well, I can't speak for your father, but I was only worried about you. A white man taking up with a colored woman makes things hard for him. Sometimes people won't give him the respect he deserves and they'll try to take advantage of what they perceive as a weakness on his part. At least that's how it was when I was coming up."
"Well marrying interracially when you came up grandpa was illegal, so I can see why you felt that way."
"It wasn't illegal here in Connecticut, just in the southern states, but even if you did marry a colored woman in a legal state things would sometimes be hard for you especially if you were poor. "
"It seems that status is always so important even when it comes to love. How did my great, great grandfather make out after he and your grandmother were married seeing as she was poor and all."
Grandpa couldn't help but feel that his grandson's situation somehow reflected that of his own grandfather, so he wanted to be careful not to reveal too much if he could help it. "They went to Ohio to get married and then came to live in Lexington. At first things weren't so bad until my grandma got pregnant with my father and uncle. Just about everyone in town, knew whom she was pregnant by even though they didn't know that they were married. The men attacked her chastity and threatened to be the father to her next child and the women and children would mock grandma about the mule children she was gonna have. Even though she tried to stay strong, eventually it got to her and one day she came home crying. After that she had to explain to grandfather what had been going on."
"Now why didn't they let everybody know that they were married. That had to be better than them thinking she was loose and what did you say about mule children? I thought that was a reference to interracial children back then." Sean was confused and couldn't understand what his grandfather was saying. He eventually shook it off as grandpa getting confused about details that happened so long ago.
Grandpa realized his mistake and clammed up turning beat red in the face. "It had a lot of meanings, boy! In this case it just meant mixing the classes, that's all! And I don't know why they didn't tell anybody they were married! They must have had their reasons! Now, listen to me and stop asking so many questions. As I was saying, after the babies were born, grandpa, fearing trouble would start and that his boys would have a hard life in the south, went scoping out land here in Connecticut for his family. When he found it they moved here right away."
"Was the family in any danger after that? Did they get any trouble once they were here?"
"No, everything worked out fine. The only problem they had after that was grandfather keeping the men away from my grandma."
"What do you mean? Was your grandmother playing around on your grandfather."
"OH, no. Heavens no. They loved each other something awful. That was never a problem. You couldn't keep them away from each other even in their old age. It was just that grandma was very beautiful and many of the northern men in the territory were taken with her, so they tried all kinds of things to try and get her to consider leaving grandpa."
"Wow. She must have been something else. Did she look like Sheridan? Did you ever have a picture of her or your grandfather? I would love to see it." Sean asked, now growing more curious about his great, great grandmother. He wanted to see what she looked like and how she could cause such a commotion in those times. He could not help but to compare her beauty to Sheridan who was a dead ringer for Claudia Shiffer, but he had learned that her personality was nothing like Sheridan's.
Grandpa William was stunned by Sean's questioned "NO!!! No, I never had any pictures of them, not a one. And hell no, she didn't look nothing like that Winthrop woman." He lied about the photograph, knowing that there was one picture that he had always cherished which was of his grandparents with their twin boys on their land in Connecticut back in 1887.
"That's too bad, because you always talk about how much I look like him and I would like to have seen it for myself. I also wouldn't mind seeing my great, great grandmother. What did she look like."
"I told you she was very pretty!" Grandpa tried to sound definite, but Sean wasn't satisfied.
"Come on grandpa I mean what were her features like. Who reminds you of her today."
"Well I can't say that I've seen anyone who I think looks like her, but she had long curly light brown hair that had auburn highlights in it, especially around the front. She had large beautiful brown eyes a round face and smooth dar...I mean just really smooth skin. She had full hips and a small waistline and she stood around 5'6" or so. She had a very gentle manner about her even though she would never let anybody get over on her or her husband. She loved numbers and took care of all the money and finances, which played a big part in the fortune my grandfather amassed."
"Man, grandpa, if I didn't know any better I would say that you were describing Elana Powers, except for a few things, but we both know that could never have happened back then, huh?" Sean laughed hysterically as he said this and swatted his grandfather on the arm.
"Humph." Grandpa didn't see the humor and couldn't help but notice the similarities himself, remembering what things Sean had told him about Elana. After that statement grandpa thought it was a good time to change the subject. "Now back to this Powers woman. Son, don't worry about meeting her Monday. If you don't have any feelings for her as you've said, then you're just having apprehension about what you'll say. Take it easy and treat her like an old friend. You can't go falling apart. She's just another woman and you've had plenty of dealings with them. Let her come in and do her job and you do yours. It can't be more complicated than that."
"Yeah, I guess you're right." Sean said with a sigh, finishing up the last drop of coffee in his cup.
"Now on the other hand if you think you still have feelings for her and her for you, then you're not going to fare too well. Things can get complicated and there's too much riding on you keeping yourself together. Your judgement will be clouded with trying to get back with her, if she's not married of course. Don't complicate matters by trying to relive something that happened years ago. It's not worth it, son." Grandpa winced as he said this hoping that Sean would take his advice, but knowing that if his grandson truly loved Ms. Powers as much as he suspected and she revealed the same feelings for him, then nothing would keep Sean from her. He was a grown man now and having the Logan genes he wouldn't sit idly by and let the woman he loved get away from him a second time, no matter what the consequences may be and no matter how much he tried to fight his feelings for his family's sake.
"Yeah, I guess, you're right Grandpa." Sean relished in the advice he'd gotten and decided that he would do just as his grandfather suggested. Treat Elana like an old friend. He definitely could do that without breaking down because if anything they had together it had always been a wonderful friendship. When she left she also took away that friendship which Sean had never been able to replace. Suddenly, he felt a burst of energy and excitement. "Hey, grandpa, It's Saturday. How would you like to spend a day on the town with me? We can go to breakfast. Then we can go to the park and feed the pigeons. Maybe we can visit some of your old friends or go to the pool hall. When was the last time you got out of this house?"
"It's been a while, son. I'd like that. I just have to wait for the nurse to come and help me get dressed and give me my medication."
"Why don't I help you get a bath and get dressed so that when she gets here all you have to do is get your medication? Then we can head out."
"Sounds good, son!" Grandpa was excited and Sean smiled at the thought of getting grandpa out and spending more time with him. He helped his grandfather up and they made their way to Grandpa William's room. Sean ran the bath water and helped him bathe and get dressed in nice casual attire. When the nurse arrived, Sean went to shower, shave and change his clothes. After the nurse left Sean and grandpa headed out in a cab to Sheridan's house so that he could pick up his car. On the way to her house Sean instructed the cabby to stop at a flower stand and he picked up a bouquet of white roses.
When Sean got back in the car grandpa was laughing with the cabby over a conversation they were having and once they reached Sheridan's house, Sean and grandpa got out. Sean paid and tipped the driver and they said their good-byes. As they walked up to the door, grandpa kept looking around. He had never been here before and Sean just figured he was curious.
"How old is this woman Sean? Shouldn't she have her own place by now? I'll bet her parents want to hurry up and get her married so that she can get out on her own."
Holding onto grandpa's elbow as they reached the top of the stairs, Sean rang the bell and laughed at his grandfather's comments." This is Sheridan's place. She lives here by herself. She's just a little extravagant."
Grandpa continued to look around at the structure and at the grounds as they waited. Then Bernard appeared at the door.
"Hello Mr. Logan and sir. May I help you?"
"I came to get my car keys. Is Sheridan here? I need to speak with her for a moment."
"Why certainly. Won't you come in, please." Bernard opened the door and let Sean and grandpa in.
Sean introduced the two men once Bernard closed the door behind them. "This is my grandfather William Logan. Grandpa this is Bernard, Sheridan's butler."
The two men shook hands and exchanged greetings; then Bernard led them into the living room to be seated and wait for Sheridan. Grandpa was still scanning his surroundings.
"Looks like you should have brought more than those flowers, boy." He said as he spit some of his chewing tobacco into one of Sheridan's antique brass trashcans that sat beside his chair.
"Yeah, maybe I should have gotten her some candy or a stuffed bear to go with these." Sean thought as he looked over the flowers.
"More like diamonds or pearls I'd say." Grandpa snorted as he kicked his feet up on Sheridan's $1000 gold embroidered ottoman.
Soon Sheridan pranced in wearing a cream-colored pants suit and matching shoes. Her flaxen blonde hair flowed in large waves down her back and around her right shoulder. She winced seeing Grandpa William's feet on her ottoman, but held her composure. She headed straight for the old man hoping he would stand up and she could slyly remove the expensive showpiece. "Oh hello, hello. Mr. Logan. I'm so glad you came by to see me!"
"I didn't come to see you missy, I just came here with the boy." Grandpa said trying to avoid her superficial hugs and kisses.
Sheridan turned to Sean stared at him blankly and then sat in the chair across from grandpa. "Now how have you been doing lately? It's been so long since I've seen you. You're looking so well. What are you doing to keep yourself in shape?"
Grandpa looks at Sean and then back at Sheridan. "Which one of those questions do you want me to answer first missy?"
Sheridan laughed loudly, pretending to be amused, but realizing that grandpa wasn't much of a conversationalist. Sean, stood at the fireplace watching them and he knew that grandpa did not intend to spend too long chatting with Sheridan. Likewise all he wanted was to get his keys, apologize and then leave. "Sheridan I brought you these." He held out the white roses to her hoping that they would be a small appeasement for what had happened the night before. Sheridan stood up, walked toward Sean and took the flowers. She smelled them as she looked indifferently at Sean.
"These are lovely Sean, I'll get Hilda to put them away for me. Could I see you for a moment alone please?" She walked past Sean and toward the door.
"Certainly." Sean looked back at his grandfather and assured him that it wouldn't take long; then he turned and followed Sheridan out of the living room.
Once they were a few feet out of hearing distance, standing in the foyer, Sheridan turned around. "Sean I don't think I have to tell you that I was very disappointed in you last night."
"I know Sheridan, I was too drunk and I shouldn't have acted the way I did. I've just had a lot on my mind lately with the company and I shouldn't have taken it out on you. You're a good person and you didn't deserve that."
"You are right Sean, but what I was upset about was that you didn't say goodbye. I don't want your work to filter into our being cordial to each other. Is there anything else wrong besides your work?
"Like what?"
"Oh I don't know, but for one we haven't been out regularly in over eight months and last night you really were not yourself. You seemed to be somewhat uninhibited and I know that's not you. It's just that we don't seem to click like we used to."
"When did we ever really click, Sheridan?"
Sheridan moved in closer to Sean and put her hand on his chest as she looked up at him through her dark blue eyes and began pouting. "How can you ask that? You know I love you Sean and I know you love me. This is just a rough road we're going over together. We know that you and I have an understanding, we can dispense with all of the unnecessary affection because we're both trying to make a name for ourselves. I'm not looking for a lot of attention, but I know that eventually we'll be married, have children and all of this will be behind us. I was just a little upset that you didn't say goodbye, and I was expecting a little more than just roses, today, but I guess they'll will have to do for now. I'm sure you're planning on surprising me with a bigger gift soon."
"Sheridan, maybe I like being a little uninhibited sometimes, you know it wouldn't hurt and sometimes I do want a little more out of this relationship than just counting the steps on the ladder of success."
Stepping back Sheridan spoke again, "Now Sean, we both know that we can't always have what we want and besides things are just fine as they are. You know I'm not one for letting loose your inhibitions. It shows a lack of character. And aside from that by the time we get married I will be able to introduce you to some of the most prestigious people in the country. I'm working on that now. You will be internationally successful. Our children will go to the finest schools and be exposed to so many important people..."
As she continued to expound on the many economic and social advantages of their pending merger, Sean gave up, seeing that she had completely avoided what he'd just said and he knew then that there was no hope of any type of true love and passion in their relationship. He was a stepping stool for her and she was perfectly happy with the way things were, but he wasn't. "Ok, Sherry. I see what you mean." He took her arm and kissed her forehead. "Look I have to go. I can't keep grandpa waiting. I'll call you soon so that we can get together."
"OK, great! I'll be waiting to hear from you. Now maybe we can get together for lunch next week. I hope to get an appointment with Elana Powers, so I'll be in New York. I'll call you when that happens."
"Sure. That will be fine Sheridan." Sean stood there and looked at her for a few seconds, then turned around to go and get his grandfather. Bernard gave Sean his car key and escorted them out of the house. Once in the car grandpa had a few words to say.
"Son you still got money from your trust fund?"
"Yea of course. I really haven't had anything to spend it on. I bought the penthouse and I keep the car in top shape and then there's my business suits and a few memberships, and dinner ever so often with Sheridan. Other than that I really don't spend that much money. Actually I don't think I've touched the money in the trust fund. I'm doing so well in my investments that I thought I would save it for my children someday."
"Well, if you're planning to marry that one back there" grandpa was pointing behind him referring to Sheridan, "then you'd better get a prenup."
"Ah grandpa, Sheridan has enough money of her own. She doesn't need my pennies."
"It's not a question of need, son, but one of greed. That girl is as greedy as they come and I can assure you that when you marry her she'll run your accounts dry. If you end up divorced, she'll definitely go after everything you have."
"Grandpa listen to yourself. We're not even engaged yet and you're talking about our getting a divorce."
They looked at each other and laughed, then continued their conversations as they spent the remainder of the day together.