Title: An Unending Quiet
Author: Edith
Part: 2/? (I'm thinking four)
Rating: This part is PG-13, but it's going to end up being rated R. :)
Pairing: Charlie/Claire, with implied Shannon/Sawyer and Jack/Kate
Summary: Claire comes back broken and Charlie will do anything to keep her and the baby safe... even if it means leaving the island.
Spoilers: Up to "All The Best..." and then it's just speculation.
Disclaimer: Sadly, not mine. Otherwise, Lost would have a lot more sex. ;) Also borrowed the song "I Wish I Had Someone To Love Me" by The Masterless Men.

Oh, and Citronella, this Chahlie reference is for you and your accent loving! Thanks for the review.

Part Two: Someone To Call Me Their Own

When Claire woke up, it was Shannon who was leaning over her, a skeptical look on her face. This gave Claire a shock, and she sat up quickly. A fast glance around her nook showed that Charlie was nowhere to be found and she opened her mouth to ask after him. Nothing came out but air, and she flopped her mouth at Shannon for a moment, before slamming it shut and feeling like an idiot.

Shannon sent her a pitying look and Claire felt pure unadulterated frustration well up within her. It wasn't that she didn't want to talk, it was that she couldn't and what bothered her the most was that nobody seemed to understand that.

Nobody that was, except for Charlie.

Trying again, she motioned at her fingers, tapping at them and attempting to indicate the tape he wore. This didn't ring a bell with Shannon and so Claire tried to demonstrate his height, while still tapping her fingers. She was loathe to use her journal to write down what she wanted to say, not wanting to waste the paper when the book was such a stress relief to her. She had already made the exception to tell her fellow survivors the name of her baby and it looked like she was going to have to do it again. Sighing, she dug it out and clearly wrote CHARLIE?

"Oh!" Shannon exclaimed, laughing, "Is that what you were trying to say! Jesus, Claire, you must really suck at charades."

Silence. Claire's irritation with herself escalated to new levels. Firmly, she tapped her journal again.

This time, the pretty blonde shrugged. "Down on the beach with Jack. They're taking water down or something. Who cares?"

Why are you here? Claire wanted to scream. The fact that Boone and Shannon had moved up to the caves gave nothing away. As far she knew, she and Shannon weren't friends. She had had a grand total of one other conversation with her and hadn't found her to be particularly friendly, or fond of her.

Behind her, James came awake with a start and his lusty cry soon drowned out the thoughts in Claire's head. Turning around, she scooped him up and shushed him with calming strokes of her hand and butterfly kisses. She angled herself so Shannon couldn't see her, adjusted her shirt, and set James to his breakfast. Looking back over her shoulder, she arched an eyebrow at her visitor.

This signal Shannon seemed to understand. "Oh, that? I really don't mind. C'mon, Claire, it's not like we all don't have them."

This, at least, made Claire feel slightly better. She leaned back more comfortably and offered her a ghost of a smile.

"He's getting big," Shannon stated, smiling at the baby.

Claire nodded and beamed, although her joy was directed solely at her son.

Shannon seemed to remember her purpose for coming all at once. Clearing her throat, she flicked her hair over her shoulder and said, "Boone and I were going to go down to the beach to pick up some more of our stuff. I think Sayid's going to go and get his too. Anyway, we thought maybe you'd want to come… since there'd be lots of us and it would be safe." When Claire didn't respond, she added, "Or not. Whatever."

Claire bit her lip and looked around her cave. Her grip tightened on her son. To her, this cave represented safety. The walls protected her. There was only one opening and that was always watched. If she was to leave, it would be easy to swoop in and grab her son again. She'd seen it before. She'd almost lost James; she'd almost Charlie. There was no way she was about to leave the cave. With an panicked air, she shook her head at Shannon.

"Oh." Shannon seemed strangely disappointed and, for the first time really, Claire wondered just how she was getting on. She thought how sad it would be not to connect with anybody although she couldn't ignore the fact that that was partly Shannon's fault. Claire frowned.

Something in her face must have presented an opening for Shannon, because she repeated, "Sayid is coming. Boone too. I mean, c'mon. Could you find two more annoyingly chivalrous men? They're practically begging to defend someone."

Claire could think of another man. Once again, she pointed at her notebook and Shannon had her leverage.

Leaning closer, Shannon put a hand on Claire's arm and gave it a gentle squeeze. She smiled her most convincingly charming smile and dropped the bomb.

"Charlie's down there getting water, remember? Think how proud of you he'll be to see you out of this damp hole! He's been really worried about you." At the arch of Claire's eyebrow, she continued. "He has been. Who do you think is pushing for the guards outside your cave? He'd be out there every night himself if everybody else would let him. Go to him, Claire, and show him how fine you are! Put his mind at ease."

She had her and Claire knew it. If there was something she disliked, it was Charlie worrying after her, especially when doing so would put his own well being at risk. And she did want to leave the caves. She had been craving the ocean for a good couple days. Plus with Boone and Sayid walking her, and Charlie and Jack on the beach…

Sighing, she nodded. Carefully, she adjusted her now sleeping son away from her breast so that she could smooth out her shirt. She took Shannon's hand when she offered it and let her pull her to her feet.

"Thank God!" Shannon was saying, "You should see you, Claire. You're getting really pasty. Stepping out in the sun once in awhile wouldn't kill you." Then, gently poking at James, "And I bet he'd like the beach!"

Claire saw Charlie before he saw her, standing at the edge of the ocean so that the water was just lapping at his toes. For a moment, she felt frozen in time. She forgot about the baby dozing in her arms, she forgot to notice Shannon and Boone leaving to find their things, or to see Sayid move over to negotiate over something or another with Sawyer. All she saw was him and that, at that second, was all she wanted.

Feeling excitement speed up her heart, she angled James so that the sun wouldn't beat directly down on him and hurried towards Charlie, her feet sliding this way and that in the sand. She had tried denying how her heart quickened in his presence; tried writing it off as just another part of her post traumatic stress, as a need for dependency or something equally psychological. But sometimes she couldn't deny it; couldn't ignore how happy she felt just to be around him.

He heard her just before she reached him. Turning around, he smiled at the vision she created. Without knowing any details, he thought everything about it would be just perfect. A sunny looking mother with her brand new baby, her mouth turned up in a real smile- the untainted kind she reserved now only for him and her son. The rush of feeling that hit him left him rather off balance and shaken but he wouldn't give it up for anything. Even though he wanted to gag at the cheesiness of it all, he felt his own smile grow.

The closer she got, however, the more his ideal picture of her darkened. Bags shadowed her eyes and they were puffy from lack of sleep. She was holding her son a little too tightly and he would have been a fool to miss how her gaze was darting this way and that.

His was too because, when push came to shove, Charlie did know all the details. His neck still bore the marks of how well he knew them. It tingled when he thought about it but did nothing in comparison to the pain in his heart at the thought of what she had been through. He knew Sayid had felled Ethan with a lethal blow but he knew- sensed- that it was nowhere near over. Something was different about her baby and whatever it was, somebody had made a plan to have it. He wasn't dumb enough to think that the mysterious "they" included only Ethan. He knew they would try again.

Shuddering at the direction of his thoughts, he closed the distance between them and snapped, "How did you get down here?"

Claire's smile faltered a little at his tone and he immediately kicked himself.

Always the bloody idiot, he thought derisively. Just ram your foot a little bit further into your mouth. Make sure you can really taste the sodding sand.

Taking her arm, he amended, "Didn't mean it like that. My mouth always is running off on me. You know I'm chuffed to see you do here. Let's take the little one and go over there in the shade, how about?"

She nodded and gave him a brave smile, letting him lead her to the edge of the trees where they could still sit in the sand but be out of the sun. They sat down together and Claire settled James down on the scrap of blanket she'd brought. She caught Charlie gazing fondly at her son and sighed. Tapping his arm, she vaguely motioned towards Shannon, Boone, and Sayid.

"You came down there with them?" he guessed. At her nod, he questioned softly, "How was the walk? Are you alright?"

She bit her lip and made a so-so motion with her hand. She wanted to convey how she had watched for the others at every turn in the path, how she had almost frozen in fear crossing the clearing where she and Charlie had been taken, but she didn't have the gestures for that. All she could do was moan in frustration.

He arched an eyebrow at her and she realized irritably that she was going to have to explain. She touched her throat repetitively for a few seconds before pointing at Shannon.

"You have something to say to Shannon?" A brief hesitation followed by a negative head movement. "Shannon said something to you?" Her head shook harder. "You want to talk to Shannon?"

Claire paused and then nodded slowly. Close enough, she figured.

"Well, you tell me then, how about? Sure between the two of us we can get it all sorted out."

Or not close enough again. She shook her head.

"Not Shannon?"

She shook her head again, but this time motioned to the rest of the beach. She pointed towards the caves. She brushed a hand against James's downy hair and then, blushing a little, placed her hand over Charlie's heart.

He stared at it for awhile, so pale and soft against his shirt but so warm and vital at the same time. She could feel his heart pounding against her palm and found herself absurdly fascinated by it.

"You want to talk, period," he concluded quietly, lifting his gaze to her face.

Her chin dipped slightly and her lips parted in the barest hint of a smile. Then their eyes met and she was lost. She thought she knew of love. She had loved Thomas but suddenly that seemed pale in comparison. Lacking somehow, and all because Thomas had never once gazed at her with such open honesty. She saw everything in Charlie, could read him like a book, and in that moment she saw nothing but affection. Maybe not love, exactly, but definitely the beginnings of… something. His eyes dropped to her lips and she sucked in a breath. Finally, she thought.

If Claire was impatient to be kissed, Charlie was well beyond that. He had known since he'd met her that she was special but he had never really realized how much he liked her until she wasn't around. He didn't like to think of those three weeks; didn't like to dwell on the pain he'd felt. He had nothing to compare it to. Thinking she had died, and because of him, had been worse than anything he'd ever faced, even heroin. When she'd appeared out of that bloody bunker in Sayid's arms, he had thanked the Lord for the first time in years. Thanked Him with a desperate sincerity he'd never felt before.

So, really, he thought, Claire had no idea what it was like to want to kiss someone.

With a trembling hand, he reached up to cup her cheek. Let the softness of her hair drift over and through his fingers. Then, he leaned towards her. She felt his breath tickle her lips and closed her eyes in anticipation.

His kiss never came. Instead, James awoke with a loud bellow.

"Oh bloody hell!" he swore, jerking back.

Claire felt her cheeks flame and quickly busied herself comforting her son. Being a cheerful baby by nature, it did not take long but it was long enough to kill the moment. Feeling the need to make amends, she bounced her son in her arms over in the direction of Charlie.

He smiled down at the baby- and what an adorable little tyke he was, too- and took him out of Claire's arms. With mock severity, he told the infant, "You have the worst possible timing, kid! Interrupting your mummy and Uncle Charlie like that! When is she going to teach you some manners? You need those, yeah?" Then, he twisted and scrunched his face until James cooed up at him in avid entertained interested.

He likes you, Claire wanted to say. Because you're good with him. Because you're good with us.

He looked over at her and, to her complete and utter horror, she felt herself go teary.

"Hey now, none of that! Want to go upsetting James again? You know he hates to see Mummy anything but happy."

She tried to smile but failed. How could she be happy, really, when every moment of her day was filled with such a terrible uncertainty? When she couldn't even express that, or sing her son the lullabies she really wanted to?

Charlie seemed to read her thoughts because he said, "We'll get you speaking again, Claire. You and me. We'll find a way."

His optimism was catching and inspired a positive jerk of her head.

Encouraged, he directed his gaze back to James and said, "You know what Mummy's going to say when she gets better?" He waited an obligatory moment for a reply then, batting his eyes, he added in a high pitched feminine tone, "Oh, Chahlie! You are so good with the kiddies, you handsome devil, you!"

She snorted and swatted at his arm but couldn't help the soundless giggle that escaped her lips.

Serious again, he caught her hand in his own and vowed, "I promise, Claire. We're going to fix this."

There on the beach with his hand entwined in her own and her son blinking up at them, she could almost believe it. She could almost believe Charlie- and she did not say Chahlie- could fix anything.