Enter Chapter 4.

I walked out of the gym cradling my Dr. Peppers. Why not? I couldn't bring Agatha back from the grave. I stopped in my tracks when I realized a disturbing fact: I forgot which one was shaken up! I looked up and saw Misty standing there with a scowl on her face. "Hey, Misty. Where's the nerd-boy? I thought you'd still be busy with him." I laughed a bit. It was cut short by a fierce glare of anger from Misty. The laugh turned into a slight whimper.

Her glare turned to a slight smile. She held up the money I gave the nerd. "Oh. He 'hired' me all right. Lucky for me, he went unconscious as soon as he forked over the cash."

I decided to make a joke. "Well, always knew you were a 'knock-out'." Again I laughed. This again was cut short, this time by a mallet on my head. "OW!"

She noticed the Dr. Pepper. "Oh, you got me a soda! How sweet."

I quickly looked at both trying to figure out which one was shaken up. After all, I didn't want soda on my face. I ran out of time, closed my eyes, and handed her the one in my right hand. She took it and opened it.

To my dismay, there was no soda fountain. I looked at the remaining can with fear. Misty chugged the entire drink in one go. She belched and looked at me curiously. "Aren't you going to drink yours?"

I looked again frantically between the soda-bomb and Misty. I slowly slipped my finger under the can's tab. I closed my eyes and pulled up.

I was sprayed in the face. I opened my eyes, eyelashes dripping with carbonated stickiness. The can was still bubbling over, when I noticed there was almost no actual liquid left in the can. Misty started laughing her head off.

Footsteps interrupted her laughing spree. "If that's the way a Coke treats you, you should see what my Chikorita would do." It was a trainer. He was rather short and somewhat pudgy. His short hair was spiked and colored blue with colored hair glue. "I'm Ernesto, the greatest grass Pokémon trainer in the world. I'm wandering my hometown of Celadon to challenge foreigners. Prepare to battle."

Misty just shrugged. "That sounds like a blast from the past."

I got a tad bit offended at my once abundant...optimism and wishful thinking. "I accept your challenge." I pulled the small Pokéball from an inside pocket of my trench coat. "Croconaw, time for someone to learn a lesson. This ought to be quick."

The small kid tossed a Pokéball into the area. A small Chikorita popped out. "I whole-heatedly agree. Chik! Razor leaf!"

"Croconaw, dodge." I said this almost sleepily and half-bored. "Water gun."

The water went from Croconaw's mouth, blasted through "Chik", and swept over the trainer. "Hey! You must respect the power of--"

Water interrupted him. He tried to continue. "Respect the power--"

Water interrupted him again. "Respect--"

I interrupted this time. "Hydro pump."

Corconaw spewed a river of water at the trainer, who was still trying to talk. "AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!" He went flying out of sight in a Team-Rocket-like moment.

That was easy, I thought. "That was easy," I said. "Now, on to Cerulean."

Misty tossed a confused look my way. "How are we going to get there?"

Just then, a big Greyhound bus pulled up and opened its doors. The metallic voice rang out, "Next stop, Cerulean City. Home of the Sensational Sisters."

"Does that answer your question?" I allowed Misty to go in front of me.

We started off in different seats, and then she trapped me in against the window. After a few minutes, Misty grew tired and used my lap as a pillow. I realized that she was actually trying to get past my zipper and sleeping was the only way to get to it. To prevent from having my manlihood being handled on a public bus, I forced my way out of the seat and into the seat in front of me. Luckily, an old lady was sitting there to keep Misty away.

The bus stopped at Saffron for refuel. I got off to prevent having any more close encounters of the X-rated kind. I slowly found my way to "The Centre," the Saffron City Pokémon center. I opened the door and was greeted by a familiar voice.

"Pika!"

"Pikachu! It is really you?" Pikachu leapt into my arms and I started scratching his head like I always did. Pikachu and I had separated a few years back. I went on to become a Private Investigator. He went to Saffron and help one of the many Nurse Joys. "So, have you been needing to claw your way away from a female?"

Pikachu blushed slightly. "Cha, pika pi."

"No?"

Pikachu's cheeks blended in with its blushing face. "Chu."

"EIGHT? Wow, and I thought I was busy."

Pikachu glanced at Misty. "Pi cha chu, pika pi?"

I looked back at Misty. At the moment, a sailor was hiring her. "Still can't get rid of her. The only time I get personal space is at home and when she's working. Women, eh?"

"Picha," he repeated.

Nurse Joy came out of one of the many Operation Rooms. "Pikachu! I need help in OR2!"

I set Pikachu down. "See you around, bud. Take care."

"PI!" Pikachu waved an ear as he left. I walked over to the vid-phone. I dialed up the Oak Research Center. Gary picked up.

"Hello. Professor Oak. Gary Oak, that is." He noticed my vid. "Oh, hey Ash. What's new?"

I ignored his question. "I am never going to get used to you as a Professor. Why did your granddad have to die? Anyway, I need a Charizard to get from here to Celadon."

Gary nodded as he got the Pokéball. "Misty trying to get to a certain part of the male anatomy again?"

"Yeah. No matter what, I can't seem to detour her from it. How did you do it with those cheerleaders?"

Gary's face went beet-red. "I didn't. They got to me anyway. They all teamed up on me."

"Too much info!" I squinted and looked away from the screen.

"What? You asked." A little ding rang out in the background, followed by a female voice.

"Gary, the Jacuzzi's ready."

Gary finished up as he was taking off his shirt. "Gotta go! Here's the Charizard. Bye."

"That sounded like--" Gary hung up. I finished anyway. "--my mom." That's my mom for you. She always had a thing for all the Oak men.

The Pokéball came out on my side. I grabbed it and walked out. I just called out the creature when I heard odd noises coming from the alley Misty and the sailor went down. I hopped on Charizard and flew off.

I arrived in Cerulean a short while later. I recalled Charizard and went to the gym. The doors were locked. Being a Private Investigator, when the door says OPEN and the doors are locked, I jump to deadly conclusions. I ran around the gym to find a door. I didn't shoot down the front door because of the commotion it would have caused. I finally found a pink door with neon lights around it. I cautiously opened the door. "Well, what do you know?" I said out loud. "The gym is actually a brothel. I'll bet ten bucks it's run by the Sensational Sisters and Lorelie's actually volunteering here."

A ten-dollar bill was pushed onto my shoulder. A female voice accompanied it. "You won that bet."

I turned to find Lilly. She was hardly wearing anything at all. "Why am I not surprised?" I took the ten dollars and stuffed it in my pocket.

Lilly looked at me with a look of remembrance. "You look extremely familiar. Have we met? For some reason, I associate your image with Misty."

I explained how we first met. "That's because I came here a long time ago to get a badge. Misty was tagging along and forced you to let her battle me. She got so mad that you gave me the badge."

She hit herself on the head. "Oh, that's right. You also helped us out with the Mermaid thing." Her voice took on a seductive tone. "You've grown since then. Mind if I take that ten off of you?"

"Yes, I do mind, actually. Where's Lorelie?" She pointed down a hall. I started down the hall.

As I walked, I passed a bulletin board. In big font were the words "WORKER OF THE MONTH" with a picture under it. I was extremely surprised at who it was. Under the picture was the caption: "Deliah Ketchum". I had known my mom was weird, but not like this. I shook the thought to the back of my brain and walked on. Soon, I came to the main pool of the gym. There was Lorelie directing some Machoke to set up for the convention. She noticed me and told me to wait just a second in the waiting room.

I walked into the waiting room and noticed a magazine called Gizelle Monthly. I shuddered at the thought of Gizelle going Playboy on everyone. I had just gotten comfortable in my seat when in walked Lorelie.

She started to take her shirt off. "Sorry to keep you waiting. What package do you want?" She turned to hang up her shirt.

I tried not to look at her now-exposed back. "I'm not here for any 'package'. I'm here for answers."

Disappointed, she put her shirt back on, not that it was much of a difference. "You're not another journalist, are you?"

"No, Private Investigator. I'm working on a case. A serial murderer is at large and is showing no delay what-so-ever."

"So what does this have to do with me?"

Very nonchalantly, I answered, "You might be next."

"Me? Yeah right. Now, why are you really here?" She came up to me and sat on my lap.

"Like I said, I'm here for info. Who would want to kill you, have you had any problems with law-suits--"

She gave me a sarcastic look with "No Doy!" written all over it.

"Right, bad question. I'm also here for your alibi."

She immediately got a worried look on her face. She stood up and walked almost too slowly to a desk. "Why would you need that?" She reached under the desk.

I heard the repeated click of a hidden security button being pressed. She was stalling. I cut to the chase. "You had a one week fling with Bruno, if I remember correctly. You tried to kill him by dropping a Golem on him. He caught it and only got a broken arm. Lance kicked you from the Elites the day before he was, using a mob term, 'off-ed'."

"I don't know what you're talking about." She bolted out the door. As soon as she did, a gun shot blazed through the building. Almost as if on cue, the alarms went off from Lorelie's previous button pushing.

"Oh, crap." I knew everyone would peg me with this, so I did the first thing that popped into my head. I ran.

I managed to work my way to the back door without confrontation. It was then I ran into trouble. Five identical cop cars were blocking my way. Five identical Jenny's were all holding back five identical Growlithes in one hand. The worst part, of course, were the five identical guns all trained on me.

End Chapter 4