12:00pm
Crealite
Elana retrieved her lightweight coat from the closet and put it on and tied it up over her black wrap around dress. Labor Day was the following week, so it was starting to get cool. She also pulled her Reebok sneakers out of the closet with a pair of socks and put them on. She knew she had to walk a few blocks to get to the restaurant and she was not about to do that in her high heel patent leather shoes. After getting ready she picked up her attaché case and headed for the elevators. On her way out she instructed Charlotte to take her messages because she had a business luncheon and would probably be a little late. While she waited for the elevator she noticed Sean walking toward her. She wondered if he was going to try and coerce her to go to lunch with him.
"Hey. Going to lunch?"
"Yes, Sean, but before you even ask, no I will not go to lunch with you. I actually have a business meeting."
"Oh. That's nice." He said playing along as if he were about to ask her to lunch. "Well I guess I can save my begging for later. You know I'm good at that." He said cutting his eyes at her and grinning. "Since you have plans, I have to go take care of some business myself." He liked the fact that she already thought he was going to ask her out again. To him this showed that she was getting used to him asking and that it wouldn't take long with the right circumstances for her to finally agree to go out so that they could talk.
The elevator opened and it was crowded just like Elana's first day at Crealite. A surge of energy went through her remembering what had happened the last time they were crunched together on this same elevator. Sean noticed her hesitation. "Go ahead Elana. I'll keep it together this time." She gave him a warning look as she stepped into the elevator and he went in behind her. This time he was true to his word and there were no reactions as they descended 30 floors. After they both walked toward the double glass doors leading out into the city, Sean just had to say something...
"Whew that took some concentration." He said feigning breathlessness
Elana was embarrassed and nudged him with her shoulder. "Sean, stop it now!" She said as he pretended being hurt. They laughed about it while they walked in the same direction.
"I can't help it. You know that part of a woman turns me on."
"So do you have to concentrate so hard every time you stand behind a woman so closely in an elevator?" Elana asked not believing he had so little self-control.
"No actually I never have until you came here. Being that I'm attached and all, I just didn't want to tell you that it's actually just being so close to you that turns me on."
Elana just shook her head and kept walking. After a few seconds she asked, "Are you following me now?"
"No, I thought you were following me?"
"Sean stop being silly. Where are you going?"
"I have to meet someone at a restaurant a few blocks from here. What about you?"
"Yeah, the same thing. Some fancy place up the street here. I think it's a little too posh for lunch, but I was invited so..."
"Oh, another rendezvous with James?"
"Actually no. It's business."
"Yeah right?" Sean said teasing her.
Elana just nudged him again and they playfully teased each other and laughed it all off as they walked along the New York sidewalk toward the restaurant until they both finally arrived at the doorway. They mused on the irony of them both meeting someone at the same place and when they went up to the hostess Sean let Elana go first. "I'm here to see Sheridan Winthrop please?" She said.
"Wait a minute! What are you coming to see her for?" Sean asked in surprise.
"This is the day that she designated for us to meet about some business proposition she wants to present to me."
Sean thought for a brief moment, "Humph I guess that's just like her to not really separate business from personal things. It's all the same to her." He said to himself in a frustrated manner.
"Huh?" Elana asked as she noticed Sean's frustration and was confused about why he felt this way. She thought that he may have known all along about her meeting Sheridan and was just pulling her leg about not knowing, but now as she noticed his all to familiar look of frustration, she realized that he didn't know about it and was not too happy at this point.
"Nothing. Let's go." Sean said in answer to her. He was getting more agitated as he gently put his hand on Elana's back guiding her as they followed the hostess to the table. When Sheridan saw them she smiled. "Oh, Sean..." she said as she took his hand and turned her cheek for him to kiss it. He did and she continued. "...I'm glad everyone's here. Elana. It's been such a long time and you look exceptionally beautiful." She said as she reached up to shake Elana's hand.
"Thank you Sheridan, you're looking good yourself." The two women finished their greetings and Elana moved over to the vacant window seat while she started to remove her coat.
Sean quickly helped her with the coat and seated her as Sheridan sat watching not really noticing his bias. Elana noticed though and felt a little awkward with the attention he was giving her and with the fact that now the three of them were together. As Sean took his seat next to Sheridan, Elana noticed that they were a stunning couple. Sheridan had always been the ultimate media's rendition of beauty with her blond wavy hair that fell to her waist and large deep blue eyes. Her facial features seemed almost perfect based on the media standards and her makeup was flawless. Her clothing was impeccable and certainly her taste was more than extravagant. Elana started to wonder how Sean had gone from being a down to earth man to someone who frequented fancy and expensive gala's with Sheridan. She knew he preferred the simple things just as she did, but she reasoned that just like herself success had made them both just get accustomed to indulging in the finer things more often than needed. Sheridan started the conversation directing her initial attention to Sean.
"Love, I hope you don't mind that I'm taking care of these things before we have that talk you mentioned last week. Besides I knew that we all were old high school friends, so I assumed neither of you would mind." She now turned her attention to Elana. "Now Elana it's so good to see you after all these years. You have really changed since high school."
"You certainly have not." Elana said with a fake smile on her face.
"Remember when you used to wear your hair all frizzy like?"
"Frizzy like what?"
"Yeah. It was kind of -well it didn't look as well as you have it coiffured now. You know how we all look like geeks in high school anyway. I'm sure you got teased a lot about that." Sheridan said laughing. She was trying to establish common ground but she picked the wrong subject. Elana was not amused.
Sean squirmed in his seat a little and called for the waiter to come and take their orders. He had seen Elana tell another woman off in college when she was trying to flirt with him and he did not want another demonstration of it at this fancy restaurant even though it may have been a little entertaining he thought. Sheridan decided to try something else once she did not get her desired response from Elana.
"So, who did you marry?"
"Marry?"
"Yes, certainly an attractive woman like yourself has been swept off her feet and found her prince charming."
Elana threw a quick glance at Sean who noticed and tried to look at the plates of the people at the next table pretending to be interested in ordering what they had. "Well, it so happens that I don't believe in fairy-tales and I'm not married."
"Really? Oh, then you must be dating someone seriously."
Sean could see that Elana was getting ready to say something that would shock Sheridan out of her senses so he jumped in. "She has been going out with James Payton from my office."
"James Payton? You mean the Vice President over there? The one whose father died and left him all those millions. Oh my! I have been trying to get to speak with him for so long. You're dating him?" Sheridan was breathless with the thought of Elana being with someone of such prestige and she went on and on about it until Elana tried to stop her.
"Actually we're just..."
Sean quickly interrupted. "Yeah they just came back from his beach house in Cape May where they spent the past weekend." He said cutting Elana a devilish smile while she flashed him a look of vengeance.
Sheridan was even more amazed at the thought of how actually close Elana was to James and she continued to lament about how wonderful he was and how stylish and connected he was. During this time the waiter had taken their orders and he now was bringing their food. Elana threw Sean a few evil looks as they listened to Sheridan carrying on. After a few minutes Elana interjected.
"Sheridan may we talk about this business proposition you mentioned I need to get back to the office soon?"
"Oh, certainly yes. Please forgive me for getting sidetracked. I hope Sean hasn't worked you too hard." She said looking up at him as she readied herself to talk about her proposition.
"No, I haven't yet, but I certainly plan on it, but not right away of course." He said while he looked directly at Elana. She looked back at him, hinting that he shouldn't say things like that, but he knew that Sheridan would not catch on to his double meaning. Sheridan continued...
"Now what I'm proposing is for your company and mine to have a sort of partnership, wherein I use your image to attract minority companies to hire me to improve their own image and thus gain more success. I'll provide all the consulting and you can manage their progress."
"What do you mean manage their progress?" Elana asked.
"Well you can go and check to see that they're making the needed changes to improve their image."
"Sheridan, I'm an accountant. I don't have time to go baby-sit some company to make sure they're dressing right or that they have the right furniture. That's not what I do."
"I know. I know. So I was thinking about placing one of my girls at your office and she could get a feel for how you maintain your image and she could in turn go help these fledgling companies."
"So what would this person do at my office all day, just kind of sit around and observe how we all dress and the furnishings we use?"
"No. Not exactly. It's actually an entire concept. We actually come in and assess how your image is perceived by others and how to project that image and maintain it. It has to do with everything from the shoes you wear to the paintings on the walls to the way you deal with clients. There is so much to it Elana!"
Sean was enjoying the view of Elana's smooth brown legs in her silk stockings. She was sitting sideways facing him and part of her wrap-around dress had fallen to the side exposing her thigh. He realized that whenever she had her business hat on, he was more attracted to her than ever. He couldn't stop the flooding of ideas that came into his head as he contemplated what it would have been like if they had married 9 years ago. He could also see that Elana thought this was all superfluous and he surmised what would make up her mind about Sheridan's proposed deal, because he was thinking the same thing. Finally Elana confirmed his thoughts when she said...
"So what's in it for Powers & Lambert?"
"Well I'm prepared to provide you with image consulting indefinitely with no fee. I also can give you several carde blanc and VIP passes to your favorite salons, boutiques, exclusive jewelers, tailor and shoe shops."
"Oh! I see. Tell me again how many minority companies you deal with now?"
"Right now I have none, and this is why I want to work with you because your company has accomplished so much in such a short time and your style and image is almost perfect in the world of minority businesses."
"Thanks. So let me get this straight. You want to enter into a joint venturing agreement with my company who you have stated has an excellent image and it would be sought after by other minority companies trying to succeed. You would use my company name, reputation and image to attract these businesses to your firm, some of whom would in turn enter into a monetary contractual agreement with you to help them achieve the image level that we have. And I, in turn would get some carde blanc & VIP passes to my favorite boutiques as well as free image consulting services for our already 'perfect' image? Is that about how it would go?" Elana asked with her forefinger on her left temple as she gazed at Sheridan.
"Yes, that's exactly right." Sheridan said smiling. She thought it was a great deal because she felt that any minority would be happy to have admittance to a high class shop where they would be given the royal treatment with no questions asked as long as they had the money to pay for the services and Sheridan knew that Elana must have the money, she just never had the opportunity to go to some of the places Sheridan was offering her admittance to.
Sean now had one arm folded across his body and the other he held up with his hands over his mouth. He had heard what Sheridan said and he knew it was ridiculous to offer any company a deal like that. He wondered what Elana would do as he could see an all too familiar fire in her eyes which now had removed all traces of light brown and glared almost as black as night. Elana politely smiled and continued...
"Well, I see. Could you excuse me please I need to go to the ladies room." She said a little too smoothly. Elana rose from the table, picking up her case and coat then walked toward the restroom area. As Sheridan talked about how well she thought she had presented her idea to Elana, Sean tried to keep a watch on her out of the corner of his eye because he had an inkling as to what she was going to do. Then right before the entrance to the restrooms Elana made a quick turn and went toward the doors to leave. He noticed her giving something to the hostess and she stood there until the hostess came back and Elana signed something and then walked out. Sean decided to go catch her before she got too far.
"Sheridan I'm going to go use the restroom also. My stomach is killing me. I'll be right back." He said as he made a dash in the direction of the bathrooms and repeated what Elana had done. He ran out of the restaurant and caught up with Elana who was walking pretty fast at that point.
"Hey Elana!!!" He called out. She turned around and waited for him to catch up with her. When he caught up they continued walking more slowly. "Where are you going?"
"I'm going back to work. I don't have time to play around with your girlfriend Sean. The woman is obviously somewhere else. I don't know where, but it sure ain't here in New York where people are trying to run businesses. I can't believe she offered me gift certificates for the use of my company name and image so that she can start making money off of minorities?"
"Well I told her that she'd better make you a fair offer or you wouldn't go for it. But I see she didn't listen to me."
"She sure didn't. How did you get mixed up with her anyway."
Sean saw this as an opportunity to remind Elana of what she'd done. "That's a long story that I hope to share with you some time soon." They both paused and Sean continued. "So you're not going back, I gather?"
Elana looked at him not answering but wondering why he had to ask her that question.
"So what should I tell her?"
"If I were you I wouldn't tell her anything because then she'd know you went after me. Let her think what ever she wants and maybe the next time before she tries something ludicrous like that she'll think twice."
Sean couldn't help but agree with Elana so he said goodbye and made his way back to the restaurant. When he got back to the table Sheridan was finishing her lunch salad.
"I'm back, sorry about that."
"That's ok. I was waiting for Elana but she hasn't gotten back yet. I wonder why she took her coat and briefcase to the bathroom." She said looking at her watch. Sean just sat there trying to act uninterested. "I'm going to go to the ladies room to see if she's alright." She got up with the intention of checking on Elana. Several minutes later Sean saw her talking to the hostess in the front. Then she made her way back to their table.
"Can you believe that. She left!" Sheridan said in disbelief as she returned and sat down.
"What? Really?" Sean asked trying to appear surprised.
"Yes. She just left. Just like that. Without saying anything. Why would she do that? I should have known something was strange about her when she came in this place with her sneakers on." Sheridan was confused as she tried to figure it out. Sean tried to help her along.
"Well Sheridan the only reason I can think of is that she probably was offended."
"Offended, how?"
"You have to remember that the field she's in is very exacting so you really didn't give her much to work with. She probably saw that you'd be the only one making money from the use of her company name. Remember how she referred to your carde blanc and VIP passes as gift certificates. She probably doesn't spend every other day at the spa, but she did realize that she would be responsible for you making a lot of money from new business you receive as a result of your relationship with her company. She probably was looking for you to offer her a percentage of the new minority business you brought in."
"Oh, wow. I didn't think of that. I guess I should get some sales people or something if I plan to branch out."
"Yeah, that may be a good idea because up until now you've pretty much been dealing with your own circle of associates who have known you for years and so they do business with you, but when you get out here in the real world things can be a little tough."
"Yes, I see. She was really bold to just walk out like that. I don't think I could ever do that."
"Well you'd better learn or get someone else to do your sales or you might as well stick with what you have."
"Yeah, but anyway. I guess we can go ahead and talk about what you had on your mind. You said you wanted to discuss something what is it?"
"Uh, yeah." Sean said as he swallowed hard and quickly remembered how he wanted to say what he had to without hurting Sheridan's feelings too much. He took her hand and began to speak. "You know Sheridan we've been seeing each other for over 2 years now and --- and I know that's a long time." He couldn't say that they shared a lot or something sentimental because it just was not there, so he continued as best he could.
"Our families have known each other for a long time and we've actually been friends of sorts since high school. That's a long time to know a person, even though we really weren't close during those years."
"Yes, it is Sean." Sheridan said with a smile on her face.
"I just want to tell you that you are one of the nicest persons I know and you really want to help people to be their best and that's a good quality. You're beautiful, you're full of ideas and you know how to handle yourself when it counts." He paused for a few seconds watching Sheridan smile softly at him while he spoke. He didn't know what would be the right moment to lower the boom, but figured he would continue forward. "Sheridan, what I wanted to say was -- I wanted to ..."
Sheridan cut him off "Sean, I know this is hard for you, but to make it easier. I say yes!"
"Yes? Yes to what?"
"To your proposal. Yes, I'll marry you. Do you have the ring yet? Maybe we can go down to Tiffany's and pick one out..." Sheridan started to expound on picking out a ring as Sean sat there dumbfounded. He couldn't figure where she ever got the idea that he wanted to marry her. He had never given her any signs as such, but he remembered their conversation that Saturday when he had taken grandpa out for the day. So he knew it was all part of that perfect picture that she painted whether the people in it were happy or not, including herself. As Sheridan ranted on excitedly about when they would marry, whom they would invite and where they would go on the honeymoon, Sean interrupted in frustration...
"Sheridan, wait just a minute! You have this all wrong. I was not going to propose to you."
Sheridan suddenly stopped talking and looked at him. "Well what were you going to say love?"
Sean inhaled slowly and answered her. "I was going to say that I think we should end the relationship."
"What?" Sheridan asked with a disbelieving look on her face. Then she laughed "Oh, Sean why are you joking around with me. You scared me for a minute there..."
"I'm not joking Sheridan. I don't want to go on like this with you any more. I think you deserve better and so do I. I'm not in love with you and I don't have any desire to marry you now or in the future."
"But what are you talking about? We've talked about marriage before. We just decided that it never was the right time."
"No Sheridan, you talked about marriage and I never insisted on a date. There is a difference."
"But what about our two years together Sean didn't that mean anything to you?"
"Of course it did Sheridan and I already told you how I feel about you, but the truth is there is no amount of time in the world that could make me fall in love with you. We're just not suited for each other and it doesn't make any sense to spend more time together when we both know this is the case." Sean had wanted to be careful with his words. He wanted to make sure that he never denoted that they had wasted their time or that they came together for nothing. He felt that Sheridan had come into his life to show him what a loveless relationship is like and it had taught him that he did not want that for himself or for her.
Sheridan sat in her chair silently for a moment and eventually spoke. "Is there someone else Sean?"
"Sheridan this has nothing to do with anyone else. This is about us and it's just not working. You need to admit that. I don't want to hurt you, but if we stay together we'll just be causing damage to each other and I don't want that. I want us to remain friends."
"Friends? What if I tell you I don't want to end it? I'm comfortable with the way things are Sean."
"That's the problem Sheridan, you're a little too comfortable. I don't want that type of comfort in my relationship with someone I intend to marry. I want passion and emotion and we've never had that."
"We have had passion Sean. We used to make love all the time after we first got together."
"I'm not talking about just having sex. Sure we did our share, but there was no passion. It was perfunctory at best. I'm talking about a passion where you constantly long to be with the other person and when you're with them you can't keep your hands off each other. You can talk about anything. You can make mistakes, sometimes terrible mistakes and yet the other person still loves you, and when you make love you just can't get enough of each other to the point that you wish you could melt into that person. That's what passion is Sheridan and we have none of those things. It's not something you can work on. It has to just be there and then you build on it. If you think what we had is passion Sheridan I feel sorry for you because that shows that you haven't experienced it for yourself. You don't know what you're missing out on."
"Well obviously you have had that type of passion for someone?"
"Yes, I have and I was with her long enough to know that what you and I have doesn't even come close."
"So why didn't you stay together if there was so much passion. Why did you agree to start going out with me Sean?"
"I don't have all the answers Sheridan, but I do know that sometimes life throws you a curve ball and you may swing at it and miss, but you become determined that whenever it throws you another one you're gonna make sure you hit it right on the head the next time around."
"Well I don't know about curve balls, but I do know that I don't want out of this relationship."
"Why not Sheridan besides your being comfortable. Why not?"
"Because Sean do you remember the Friday before last (August 21, 1998) when you came to Connecticut and we went out. Well you succeeded in getting yourself pretty drunk and then we made love on my original sofa. It was without protection. Now my cycle is a few days late so the possibility exists that I may be pregnant and I will not have a baby and be unmarried."
Sean was shocked at the mention of her possibly being pregnant and he tried to remember what had happened that night, but couldn't because he was so drunk. He surmised that Sheridan told him the whole story and relented to the possibility, but it still didn't change his resolve. "Sheridan, if you're pregnant I'll make sure to take care of the baby and be a father to it, but it won't include being married to you. I can't do that and I won't do it."
Sheridan was now angry and her voice grew slightly louder. "You mean to tell me that you would have me pregnant with your child and you wouldn't marry me. You'd leave me open to society. You'd make a statistic out of me?"
Sean tried to calm her down. He never thought she would make a scene at a restaurant, but he could see that some people were noticing their disagreement. "Don't be so dramatic. You wouldn't be the first woman who had a baby out of wedlock and you certainly wouldn't be the last. I told you that I would take care of the child."
"I can't believe you Sean Logan. You get drunk and have your way with me without taking precautions and then you tell me that I'll just have to live with your carelessness? How dare you! You practically raped me that night. I tried to resist you, but you kept grabbing at me. I told you to use a condom, but you insisted that you didn't want to. Then you just forced yourself inside me until you finished and afterwards you got up and went home. I didn't get too upset about it because I felt that this was a lasting relationship, but now you come sit here and try to end it all over lunch! I'm not going to sit still and let you do this to me Sean! I'm not!"
Sean didn't know what to say. He couldn't deny her allegations because he really didn't remember much about that night other than the picture of Elana and the several glasses of vodka he devoured to try and forget her face. If what Sheridan said was true then he felt sorry because he knew he had used her to try and forget about Elana. He sat there and tears welled up in his eyes as he spoke. "Sheridan, if I did those things to you I am truly sorry. I never want to hurt you. I never should have drank so much. I hope you can forgive me. If we do have a baby I'll make it as easy for you as possible, but I can't marry you Sheridan. Because I don't love you and I know I never will. "
"But Sean how could you sleep with me and say you don't love me?" Sheridan was now weeping with tears streaming down her face.
"Sheridan, that's obvious. It's because you let me. I never told you I loved you. I never hinted at it and I never told anyone else I loved you. You know that and you have to have noticed. Sure we slept together. That's what couples do. You were willing and so was I. We slept together on our first date and you had to know then that I did not love you. You can't interchange the words love and sex. They're two different things."
Sheridan sat in her chair in shock, she realized that this was the end of her relationship with Sean. She saw the possibilities of being his wife and acting in that capacity fading before her and she did not want to let it go so she decided to use what cards she had in her hand at the moment and after gaining her composure she looked over at him and threw what she had out. "Sean you have to marry me! You just have to! I'm going to have your child for God's sake!" In desperation she continued. "If you don't marry me I'll take you to court for rape and assault. And then I'll keep you in court over child support and palimony charges that wring you of every cent you have. I did not spend 2 years of my life with you for nothing and I'm going to get what I deserve and that's you and the Logan name or your money."
Sean was now angered at the realization of Sheridan's obvious mission in staying with him, so he got up from the table and removed his wallet to take out the money to pay for their meal. As he removed the cash he said. "You do what ever you feel you have to do Sheridan, but it won't change the fact that we do not love each other. You let me know about your condition and we can either talk together or through our lawyers, it doesn't matter to me because I will take care of the child but I will not marry you. I want out Sheridan and as of this point we are no longer together. He left the payment and tip on the table for their lunch and walked out of the restaurant headed back to the office.
As he strolled back thoughts flooded his mind about having a child with Sheridan. He wondered how it might possibly affect his pursuit of Elana. When she realized that Sheridan was pregnant, if she was, then would she want to have anything to do with him? Would she be open to helping him raise a white child and everyone instantly knowing that it was not theirs? What about his treatment of Sheridan, would Elana look on him as irresponsible and as having some other negative qualities that she wouldn't want to be associated with? After a few minutes of contemplation he arrived at his building and entered it and he got into the elevator. He didn't have the answers and as he ascended to his office his heart became loaded down with anxiety.
When he got off the elevators he walked over to Charlotte's desk and told her to hold all of his calls. When he turned around he saw Elana coming out of her office with some files and obviously headed somewhere to conduct more interviews. He couldn't help but look at her sadly and just continue to his office. Elana picked up on it and wondered what had happened. She hoped Sheridan hadn't taken anything out on him because of her leaving, so she went to Charlotte's desk to see if she could go see him.
"Charlotte, could you ask Mr. Logan if I could see him?"
Charlotte remembered her boss' instructions earlier and complied. "Mr. Logan says you have exclusive access to him so you can just go on in." She said suspiciously.
Elana ignored Charlotte's flippancy and went ahead to Sean's office. She knocked on the door and heard him say "Come in". She opened the door and peeked in.
"Is everything alright?"
Sean was standing by his window looking out, but when he heard her soft voice he turned around. "Yeah." He said.
Elana knew he was not o.k. so she opened the door further and went in and closed it. She walked over to the front of his desk holding her folders in her hands down in front of her. "I know you're not o.k. Sean. I hope Sheridan didn't take out any frustration about my walking out on you. I'm sorry if ..."
"No Elana, you don't have to apologize for anything. Sheridan didn't take anything out on me because of you." As he said this he walked over to the front of his desk next to her and gently took her hand in his.
"Then why are you looking so sad. She must have said something to upset you."
"Yeah, just relationship stuff. I deserved all the bashing I got."
"Oh, you got bashed huh. What did you do?"
"It's more what I didn't do."
"And what is that?" As soon as she asked this she knew she was getting into an issue that she didn't need to deal with. She didn't want to care about what was going on between Sean and Sheridan, but in reality she did. "You know Sean I'm sorry. This is none of my business."
Sean took the folders out of her other hand and held it also. Now they stood at a small distance facing each other while Sean held her fingers in his own as he answered her. "It is your business Elana. To answer your question I didn't love her and I told her that today, so needless to say she wasn't too pleased."
"So you broke up with her after I had just walked out on her. She must be feeling a great sense of rejection right now. Maybe I shouldn't have left so quickly. Maybe I should have at least tried to discuss it further and then maybe eventually she would have changed her offer. This way she wouldn't have two rejections to deal with on the same day." Elana felt regret at her part in whatever Sheridan might be going through at that time.
Sean on the other hand couldn't help but admire Elana even more for thinking of him and of Sheridan. All he wanted was to say that now they could be together, but there still was the pending pregnancy that he hoped he would find out about soon and then he would have to deal with whatever the consequences would be. "I'm sure Sheridan will be o.k. There was no love lost between us. She's probably more offended than anything right now from my confession. As to your leaving, she thinks you're the prune right now and sees it as your loss."
"Well if all that is the case why are you so down?"
Sean let go of her hands and sat on the edge of his desk. He knew it was too soon to tell Elana that he might be a father, but he wanted to do it anyway. They had always been so close and he was never able to keep anything from her. Even though they had been separated by time he still felt the same way now that she was back in his life, but using his better judgement he refrained from telling her. "I just ended a two year relationship that I initially had hoped would work for us both, but it never did. I really put everything into making it work, at first. I wanted to really feel about someone the way I felt about you. After years of her asking me to take her out I finally did, thinking this could be the person God was sending to me to have the things I wanted like a loving wife and children, but Sheridan was only in it for status and money. The signs were always there, but I chose to ignore them, but today I finally saw clearly why she was with me and it's kinda hard to take knowing that she just wanted to be with me because it made her look good."
Elana moved closer to Sean and put her hand on his arm. "Sean I'm sorry you have to go through this, but sometimes it's better to find these things out now rather than later. You deserve better than that, but I'm sure it wasn't all bad. I don't see how she could not love you even if she may have initially been after status and money. She seemed to be somewhat affectionate toward you."
"Sheridan is all about herself. I can assure you of that and affection was always a foreign word to her. We couldn't even hold hands in public because it wasn't proper etiquette."
Elana felt sorry for Sean because it seemed that he had spent his last two years in a loveless relationship. She thought that at least she was not involved with anyone so she did not have to suffer through any emotional torment over relationships, but Sean had spent his time trying to find true love again and ended up unfulfilled which placed a heavier emotional burden on him. She didn't know what to say or do to console him, but she tried. "I'm so sorry Sean that you're feeling so hurt right now. I wish there was something I could do." She said consolingly as she rubbed his arm, while he sat there in a somber mood.
After she said this, Sean looked up at her and forced a half smile then he held her by her waist and rested his head on her breasts. Elana did not try to resist him because she knew he needed it at that moment. They remained there for a few seconds and Sean seemed to cling to her not wanting to let go. He remembered how they could always console each other when things were not going well for them either in school, at home or between them, and he relished in this old familiar feeling. He wondered if she felt the same thing.
Elana also remembered that in the past when Sean was down, she usually would let him rest his head on her chest while they held each other on the sofa of her apartment in Georgia. When they did this everything seemed to slip their minds and there was only the two of them, which is how they both felt during their embrace. Elana remembered that Sean had such a gentle way about him and they always knew how to make each other feel better. Feeling needed by him again was something she had missed. Because of the distance she had kept from other men, no one had wanted to rely on her for anything because she didn't want to rely on them, but now consoling Sean she realized how she wanted someone to need her again.
After holding onto her for a minute or so Sean finally, reluctantly and slowly let go of her, because he was trying to avoid his urge to kiss her again. But before he moved completely away from her and with his hands still around her waist, he gazed into her eyes and whispered, "Thank you."
"You're welcome." She whispered back to him not shying away from their gaze, in which they both knew this was a turning point in their relationship as it stood.
Sean smiled and finally let her go completely then she gathered her folders and held them close to her with one arm while she pushed the few loose strands of hair off her ear with her other hand as she said "I have to go down and finish the interviews in Administration. Will you be alright?"
"Yes, I'm fine now." He answered.
Elana gave him a soft smile, "Good, then I guess I'll see you around the rest of this week." She said and then she walked toward the door opened it and before she left she glanced back at Sean who was still watching her. They gave each other a knowing look and Elana turned forward and slowly closed the door behind her as she left.
Crealite
Elana retrieved her lightweight coat from the closet and put it on and tied it up over her black wrap around dress. Labor Day was the following week, so it was starting to get cool. She also pulled her Reebok sneakers out of the closet with a pair of socks and put them on. She knew she had to walk a few blocks to get to the restaurant and she was not about to do that in her high heel patent leather shoes. After getting ready she picked up her attaché case and headed for the elevators. On her way out she instructed Charlotte to take her messages because she had a business luncheon and would probably be a little late. While she waited for the elevator she noticed Sean walking toward her. She wondered if he was going to try and coerce her to go to lunch with him.
"Hey. Going to lunch?"
"Yes, Sean, but before you even ask, no I will not go to lunch with you. I actually have a business meeting."
"Oh. That's nice." He said playing along as if he were about to ask her to lunch. "Well I guess I can save my begging for later. You know I'm good at that." He said cutting his eyes at her and grinning. "Since you have plans, I have to go take care of some business myself." He liked the fact that she already thought he was going to ask her out again. To him this showed that she was getting used to him asking and that it wouldn't take long with the right circumstances for her to finally agree to go out so that they could talk.
The elevator opened and it was crowded just like Elana's first day at Crealite. A surge of energy went through her remembering what had happened the last time they were crunched together on this same elevator. Sean noticed her hesitation. "Go ahead Elana. I'll keep it together this time." She gave him a warning look as she stepped into the elevator and he went in behind her. This time he was true to his word and there were no reactions as they descended 30 floors. After they both walked toward the double glass doors leading out into the city, Sean just had to say something...
"Whew that took some concentration." He said feigning breathlessness
Elana was embarrassed and nudged him with her shoulder. "Sean, stop it now!" She said as he pretended being hurt. They laughed about it while they walked in the same direction.
"I can't help it. You know that part of a woman turns me on."
"So do you have to concentrate so hard every time you stand behind a woman so closely in an elevator?" Elana asked not believing he had so little self-control.
"No actually I never have until you came here. Being that I'm attached and all, I just didn't want to tell you that it's actually just being so close to you that turns me on."
Elana just shook her head and kept walking. After a few seconds she asked, "Are you following me now?"
"No, I thought you were following me?"
"Sean stop being silly. Where are you going?"
"I have to meet someone at a restaurant a few blocks from here. What about you?"
"Yeah, the same thing. Some fancy place up the street here. I think it's a little too posh for lunch, but I was invited so..."
"Oh, another rendezvous with James?"
"Actually no. It's business."
"Yeah right?" Sean said teasing her.
Elana just nudged him again and they playfully teased each other and laughed it all off as they walked along the New York sidewalk toward the restaurant until they both finally arrived at the doorway. They mused on the irony of them both meeting someone at the same place and when they went up to the hostess Sean let Elana go first. "I'm here to see Sheridan Winthrop please?" She said.
"Wait a minute! What are you coming to see her for?" Sean asked in surprise.
"This is the day that she designated for us to meet about some business proposition she wants to present to me."
Sean thought for a brief moment, "Humph I guess that's just like her to not really separate business from personal things. It's all the same to her." He said to himself in a frustrated manner.
"Huh?" Elana asked as she noticed Sean's frustration and was confused about why he felt this way. She thought that he may have known all along about her meeting Sheridan and was just pulling her leg about not knowing, but now as she noticed his all to familiar look of frustration, she realized that he didn't know about it and was not too happy at this point.
"Nothing. Let's go." Sean said in answer to her. He was getting more agitated as he gently put his hand on Elana's back guiding her as they followed the hostess to the table. When Sheridan saw them she smiled. "Oh, Sean..." she said as she took his hand and turned her cheek for him to kiss it. He did and she continued. "...I'm glad everyone's here. Elana. It's been such a long time and you look exceptionally beautiful." She said as she reached up to shake Elana's hand.
"Thank you Sheridan, you're looking good yourself." The two women finished their greetings and Elana moved over to the vacant window seat while she started to remove her coat.
Sean quickly helped her with the coat and seated her as Sheridan sat watching not really noticing his bias. Elana noticed though and felt a little awkward with the attention he was giving her and with the fact that now the three of them were together. As Sean took his seat next to Sheridan, Elana noticed that they were a stunning couple. Sheridan had always been the ultimate media's rendition of beauty with her blond wavy hair that fell to her waist and large deep blue eyes. Her facial features seemed almost perfect based on the media standards and her makeup was flawless. Her clothing was impeccable and certainly her taste was more than extravagant. Elana started to wonder how Sean had gone from being a down to earth man to someone who frequented fancy and expensive gala's with Sheridan. She knew he preferred the simple things just as she did, but she reasoned that just like herself success had made them both just get accustomed to indulging in the finer things more often than needed. Sheridan started the conversation directing her initial attention to Sean.
"Love, I hope you don't mind that I'm taking care of these things before we have that talk you mentioned last week. Besides I knew that we all were old high school friends, so I assumed neither of you would mind." She now turned her attention to Elana. "Now Elana it's so good to see you after all these years. You have really changed since high school."
"You certainly have not." Elana said with a fake smile on her face.
"Remember when you used to wear your hair all frizzy like?"
"Frizzy like what?"
"Yeah. It was kind of -well it didn't look as well as you have it coiffured now. You know how we all look like geeks in high school anyway. I'm sure you got teased a lot about that." Sheridan said laughing. She was trying to establish common ground but she picked the wrong subject. Elana was not amused.
Sean squirmed in his seat a little and called for the waiter to come and take their orders. He had seen Elana tell another woman off in college when she was trying to flirt with him and he did not want another demonstration of it at this fancy restaurant even though it may have been a little entertaining he thought. Sheridan decided to try something else once she did not get her desired response from Elana.
"So, who did you marry?"
"Marry?"
"Yes, certainly an attractive woman like yourself has been swept off her feet and found her prince charming."
Elana threw a quick glance at Sean who noticed and tried to look at the plates of the people at the next table pretending to be interested in ordering what they had. "Well, it so happens that I don't believe in fairy-tales and I'm not married."
"Really? Oh, then you must be dating someone seriously."
Sean could see that Elana was getting ready to say something that would shock Sheridan out of her senses so he jumped in. "She has been going out with James Payton from my office."
"James Payton? You mean the Vice President over there? The one whose father died and left him all those millions. Oh my! I have been trying to get to speak with him for so long. You're dating him?" Sheridan was breathless with the thought of Elana being with someone of such prestige and she went on and on about it until Elana tried to stop her.
"Actually we're just..."
Sean quickly interrupted. "Yeah they just came back from his beach house in Cape May where they spent the past weekend." He said cutting Elana a devilish smile while she flashed him a look of vengeance.
Sheridan was even more amazed at the thought of how actually close Elana was to James and she continued to lament about how wonderful he was and how stylish and connected he was. During this time the waiter had taken their orders and he now was bringing their food. Elana threw Sean a few evil looks as they listened to Sheridan carrying on. After a few minutes Elana interjected.
"Sheridan may we talk about this business proposition you mentioned I need to get back to the office soon?"
"Oh, certainly yes. Please forgive me for getting sidetracked. I hope Sean hasn't worked you too hard." She said looking up at him as she readied herself to talk about her proposition.
"No, I haven't yet, but I certainly plan on it, but not right away of course." He said while he looked directly at Elana. She looked back at him, hinting that he shouldn't say things like that, but he knew that Sheridan would not catch on to his double meaning. Sheridan continued...
"Now what I'm proposing is for your company and mine to have a sort of partnership, wherein I use your image to attract minority companies to hire me to improve their own image and thus gain more success. I'll provide all the consulting and you can manage their progress."
"What do you mean manage their progress?" Elana asked.
"Well you can go and check to see that they're making the needed changes to improve their image."
"Sheridan, I'm an accountant. I don't have time to go baby-sit some company to make sure they're dressing right or that they have the right furniture. That's not what I do."
"I know. I know. So I was thinking about placing one of my girls at your office and she could get a feel for how you maintain your image and she could in turn go help these fledgling companies."
"So what would this person do at my office all day, just kind of sit around and observe how we all dress and the furnishings we use?"
"No. Not exactly. It's actually an entire concept. We actually come in and assess how your image is perceived by others and how to project that image and maintain it. It has to do with everything from the shoes you wear to the paintings on the walls to the way you deal with clients. There is so much to it Elana!"
Sean was enjoying the view of Elana's smooth brown legs in her silk stockings. She was sitting sideways facing him and part of her wrap-around dress had fallen to the side exposing her thigh. He realized that whenever she had her business hat on, he was more attracted to her than ever. He couldn't stop the flooding of ideas that came into his head as he contemplated what it would have been like if they had married 9 years ago. He could also see that Elana thought this was all superfluous and he surmised what would make up her mind about Sheridan's proposed deal, because he was thinking the same thing. Finally Elana confirmed his thoughts when she said...
"So what's in it for Powers & Lambert?"
"Well I'm prepared to provide you with image consulting indefinitely with no fee. I also can give you several carde blanc and VIP passes to your favorite salons, boutiques, exclusive jewelers, tailor and shoe shops."
"Oh! I see. Tell me again how many minority companies you deal with now?"
"Right now I have none, and this is why I want to work with you because your company has accomplished so much in such a short time and your style and image is almost perfect in the world of minority businesses."
"Thanks. So let me get this straight. You want to enter into a joint venturing agreement with my company who you have stated has an excellent image and it would be sought after by other minority companies trying to succeed. You would use my company name, reputation and image to attract these businesses to your firm, some of whom would in turn enter into a monetary contractual agreement with you to help them achieve the image level that we have. And I, in turn would get some carde blanc & VIP passes to my favorite boutiques as well as free image consulting services for our already 'perfect' image? Is that about how it would go?" Elana asked with her forefinger on her left temple as she gazed at Sheridan.
"Yes, that's exactly right." Sheridan said smiling. She thought it was a great deal because she felt that any minority would be happy to have admittance to a high class shop where they would be given the royal treatment with no questions asked as long as they had the money to pay for the services and Sheridan knew that Elana must have the money, she just never had the opportunity to go to some of the places Sheridan was offering her admittance to.
Sean now had one arm folded across his body and the other he held up with his hands over his mouth. He had heard what Sheridan said and he knew it was ridiculous to offer any company a deal like that. He wondered what Elana would do as he could see an all too familiar fire in her eyes which now had removed all traces of light brown and glared almost as black as night. Elana politely smiled and continued...
"Well, I see. Could you excuse me please I need to go to the ladies room." She said a little too smoothly. Elana rose from the table, picking up her case and coat then walked toward the restroom area. As Sheridan talked about how well she thought she had presented her idea to Elana, Sean tried to keep a watch on her out of the corner of his eye because he had an inkling as to what she was going to do. Then right before the entrance to the restrooms Elana made a quick turn and went toward the doors to leave. He noticed her giving something to the hostess and she stood there until the hostess came back and Elana signed something and then walked out. Sean decided to go catch her before she got too far.
"Sheridan I'm going to go use the restroom also. My stomach is killing me. I'll be right back." He said as he made a dash in the direction of the bathrooms and repeated what Elana had done. He ran out of the restaurant and caught up with Elana who was walking pretty fast at that point.
"Hey Elana!!!" He called out. She turned around and waited for him to catch up with her. When he caught up they continued walking more slowly. "Where are you going?"
"I'm going back to work. I don't have time to play around with your girlfriend Sean. The woman is obviously somewhere else. I don't know where, but it sure ain't here in New York where people are trying to run businesses. I can't believe she offered me gift certificates for the use of my company name and image so that she can start making money off of minorities?"
"Well I told her that she'd better make you a fair offer or you wouldn't go for it. But I see she didn't listen to me."
"She sure didn't. How did you get mixed up with her anyway."
Sean saw this as an opportunity to remind Elana of what she'd done. "That's a long story that I hope to share with you some time soon." They both paused and Sean continued. "So you're not going back, I gather?"
Elana looked at him not answering but wondering why he had to ask her that question.
"So what should I tell her?"
"If I were you I wouldn't tell her anything because then she'd know you went after me. Let her think what ever she wants and maybe the next time before she tries something ludicrous like that she'll think twice."
Sean couldn't help but agree with Elana so he said goodbye and made his way back to the restaurant. When he got back to the table Sheridan was finishing her lunch salad.
"I'm back, sorry about that."
"That's ok. I was waiting for Elana but she hasn't gotten back yet. I wonder why she took her coat and briefcase to the bathroom." She said looking at her watch. Sean just sat there trying to act uninterested. "I'm going to go to the ladies room to see if she's alright." She got up with the intention of checking on Elana. Several minutes later Sean saw her talking to the hostess in the front. Then she made her way back to their table.
"Can you believe that. She left!" Sheridan said in disbelief as she returned and sat down.
"What? Really?" Sean asked trying to appear surprised.
"Yes. She just left. Just like that. Without saying anything. Why would she do that? I should have known something was strange about her when she came in this place with her sneakers on." Sheridan was confused as she tried to figure it out. Sean tried to help her along.
"Well Sheridan the only reason I can think of is that she probably was offended."
"Offended, how?"
"You have to remember that the field she's in is very exacting so you really didn't give her much to work with. She probably saw that you'd be the only one making money from the use of her company name. Remember how she referred to your carde blanc and VIP passes as gift certificates. She probably doesn't spend every other day at the spa, but she did realize that she would be responsible for you making a lot of money from new business you receive as a result of your relationship with her company. She probably was looking for you to offer her a percentage of the new minority business you brought in."
"Oh, wow. I didn't think of that. I guess I should get some sales people or something if I plan to branch out."
"Yeah, that may be a good idea because up until now you've pretty much been dealing with your own circle of associates who have known you for years and so they do business with you, but when you get out here in the real world things can be a little tough."
"Yes, I see. She was really bold to just walk out like that. I don't think I could ever do that."
"Well you'd better learn or get someone else to do your sales or you might as well stick with what you have."
"Yeah, but anyway. I guess we can go ahead and talk about what you had on your mind. You said you wanted to discuss something what is it?"
"Uh, yeah." Sean said as he swallowed hard and quickly remembered how he wanted to say what he had to without hurting Sheridan's feelings too much. He took her hand and began to speak. "You know Sheridan we've been seeing each other for over 2 years now and --- and I know that's a long time." He couldn't say that they shared a lot or something sentimental because it just was not there, so he continued as best he could.
"Our families have known each other for a long time and we've actually been friends of sorts since high school. That's a long time to know a person, even though we really weren't close during those years."
"Yes, it is Sean." Sheridan said with a smile on her face.
"I just want to tell you that you are one of the nicest persons I know and you really want to help people to be their best and that's a good quality. You're beautiful, you're full of ideas and you know how to handle yourself when it counts." He paused for a few seconds watching Sheridan smile softly at him while he spoke. He didn't know what would be the right moment to lower the boom, but figured he would continue forward. "Sheridan, what I wanted to say was -- I wanted to ..."
Sheridan cut him off "Sean, I know this is hard for you, but to make it easier. I say yes!"
"Yes? Yes to what?"
"To your proposal. Yes, I'll marry you. Do you have the ring yet? Maybe we can go down to Tiffany's and pick one out..." Sheridan started to expound on picking out a ring as Sean sat there dumbfounded. He couldn't figure where she ever got the idea that he wanted to marry her. He had never given her any signs as such, but he remembered their conversation that Saturday when he had taken grandpa out for the day. So he knew it was all part of that perfect picture that she painted whether the people in it were happy or not, including herself. As Sheridan ranted on excitedly about when they would marry, whom they would invite and where they would go on the honeymoon, Sean interrupted in frustration...
"Sheridan, wait just a minute! You have this all wrong. I was not going to propose to you."
Sheridan suddenly stopped talking and looked at him. "Well what were you going to say love?"
Sean inhaled slowly and answered her. "I was going to say that I think we should end the relationship."
"What?" Sheridan asked with a disbelieving look on her face. Then she laughed "Oh, Sean why are you joking around with me. You scared me for a minute there..."
"I'm not joking Sheridan. I don't want to go on like this with you any more. I think you deserve better and so do I. I'm not in love with you and I don't have any desire to marry you now or in the future."
"But what are you talking about? We've talked about marriage before. We just decided that it never was the right time."
"No Sheridan, you talked about marriage and I never insisted on a date. There is a difference."
"But what about our two years together Sean didn't that mean anything to you?"
"Of course it did Sheridan and I already told you how I feel about you, but the truth is there is no amount of time in the world that could make me fall in love with you. We're just not suited for each other and it doesn't make any sense to spend more time together when we both know this is the case." Sean had wanted to be careful with his words. He wanted to make sure that he never denoted that they had wasted their time or that they came together for nothing. He felt that Sheridan had come into his life to show him what a loveless relationship is like and it had taught him that he did not want that for himself or for her.
Sheridan sat in her chair silently for a moment and eventually spoke. "Is there someone else Sean?"
"Sheridan this has nothing to do with anyone else. This is about us and it's just not working. You need to admit that. I don't want to hurt you, but if we stay together we'll just be causing damage to each other and I don't want that. I want us to remain friends."
"Friends? What if I tell you I don't want to end it? I'm comfortable with the way things are Sean."
"That's the problem Sheridan, you're a little too comfortable. I don't want that type of comfort in my relationship with someone I intend to marry. I want passion and emotion and we've never had that."
"We have had passion Sean. We used to make love all the time after we first got together."
"I'm not talking about just having sex. Sure we did our share, but there was no passion. It was perfunctory at best. I'm talking about a passion where you constantly long to be with the other person and when you're with them you can't keep your hands off each other. You can talk about anything. You can make mistakes, sometimes terrible mistakes and yet the other person still loves you, and when you make love you just can't get enough of each other to the point that you wish you could melt into that person. That's what passion is Sheridan and we have none of those things. It's not something you can work on. It has to just be there and then you build on it. If you think what we had is passion Sheridan I feel sorry for you because that shows that you haven't experienced it for yourself. You don't know what you're missing out on."
"Well obviously you have had that type of passion for someone?"
"Yes, I have and I was with her long enough to know that what you and I have doesn't even come close."
"So why didn't you stay together if there was so much passion. Why did you agree to start going out with me Sean?"
"I don't have all the answers Sheridan, but I do know that sometimes life throws you a curve ball and you may swing at it and miss, but you become determined that whenever it throws you another one you're gonna make sure you hit it right on the head the next time around."
"Well I don't know about curve balls, but I do know that I don't want out of this relationship."
"Why not Sheridan besides your being comfortable. Why not?"
"Because Sean do you remember the Friday before last (August 21, 1998) when you came to Connecticut and we went out. Well you succeeded in getting yourself pretty drunk and then we made love on my original sofa. It was without protection. Now my cycle is a few days late so the possibility exists that I may be pregnant and I will not have a baby and be unmarried."
Sean was shocked at the mention of her possibly being pregnant and he tried to remember what had happened that night, but couldn't because he was so drunk. He surmised that Sheridan told him the whole story and relented to the possibility, but it still didn't change his resolve. "Sheridan, if you're pregnant I'll make sure to take care of the baby and be a father to it, but it won't include being married to you. I can't do that and I won't do it."
Sheridan was now angry and her voice grew slightly louder. "You mean to tell me that you would have me pregnant with your child and you wouldn't marry me. You'd leave me open to society. You'd make a statistic out of me?"
Sean tried to calm her down. He never thought she would make a scene at a restaurant, but he could see that some people were noticing their disagreement. "Don't be so dramatic. You wouldn't be the first woman who had a baby out of wedlock and you certainly wouldn't be the last. I told you that I would take care of the child."
"I can't believe you Sean Logan. You get drunk and have your way with me without taking precautions and then you tell me that I'll just have to live with your carelessness? How dare you! You practically raped me that night. I tried to resist you, but you kept grabbing at me. I told you to use a condom, but you insisted that you didn't want to. Then you just forced yourself inside me until you finished and afterwards you got up and went home. I didn't get too upset about it because I felt that this was a lasting relationship, but now you come sit here and try to end it all over lunch! I'm not going to sit still and let you do this to me Sean! I'm not!"
Sean didn't know what to say. He couldn't deny her allegations because he really didn't remember much about that night other than the picture of Elana and the several glasses of vodka he devoured to try and forget her face. If what Sheridan said was true then he felt sorry because he knew he had used her to try and forget about Elana. He sat there and tears welled up in his eyes as he spoke. "Sheridan, if I did those things to you I am truly sorry. I never want to hurt you. I never should have drank so much. I hope you can forgive me. If we do have a baby I'll make it as easy for you as possible, but I can't marry you Sheridan. Because I don't love you and I know I never will. "
"But Sean how could you sleep with me and say you don't love me?" Sheridan was now weeping with tears streaming down her face.
"Sheridan, that's obvious. It's because you let me. I never told you I loved you. I never hinted at it and I never told anyone else I loved you. You know that and you have to have noticed. Sure we slept together. That's what couples do. You were willing and so was I. We slept together on our first date and you had to know then that I did not love you. You can't interchange the words love and sex. They're two different things."
Sheridan sat in her chair in shock, she realized that this was the end of her relationship with Sean. She saw the possibilities of being his wife and acting in that capacity fading before her and she did not want to let it go so she decided to use what cards she had in her hand at the moment and after gaining her composure she looked over at him and threw what she had out. "Sean you have to marry me! You just have to! I'm going to have your child for God's sake!" In desperation she continued. "If you don't marry me I'll take you to court for rape and assault. And then I'll keep you in court over child support and palimony charges that wring you of every cent you have. I did not spend 2 years of my life with you for nothing and I'm going to get what I deserve and that's you and the Logan name or your money."
Sean was now angered at the realization of Sheridan's obvious mission in staying with him, so he got up from the table and removed his wallet to take out the money to pay for their meal. As he removed the cash he said. "You do what ever you feel you have to do Sheridan, but it won't change the fact that we do not love each other. You let me know about your condition and we can either talk together or through our lawyers, it doesn't matter to me because I will take care of the child but I will not marry you. I want out Sheridan and as of this point we are no longer together. He left the payment and tip on the table for their lunch and walked out of the restaurant headed back to the office.
As he strolled back thoughts flooded his mind about having a child with Sheridan. He wondered how it might possibly affect his pursuit of Elana. When she realized that Sheridan was pregnant, if she was, then would she want to have anything to do with him? Would she be open to helping him raise a white child and everyone instantly knowing that it was not theirs? What about his treatment of Sheridan, would Elana look on him as irresponsible and as having some other negative qualities that she wouldn't want to be associated with? After a few minutes of contemplation he arrived at his building and entered it and he got into the elevator. He didn't have the answers and as he ascended to his office his heart became loaded down with anxiety.
When he got off the elevators he walked over to Charlotte's desk and told her to hold all of his calls. When he turned around he saw Elana coming out of her office with some files and obviously headed somewhere to conduct more interviews. He couldn't help but look at her sadly and just continue to his office. Elana picked up on it and wondered what had happened. She hoped Sheridan hadn't taken anything out on him because of her leaving, so she went to Charlotte's desk to see if she could go see him.
"Charlotte, could you ask Mr. Logan if I could see him?"
Charlotte remembered her boss' instructions earlier and complied. "Mr. Logan says you have exclusive access to him so you can just go on in." She said suspiciously.
Elana ignored Charlotte's flippancy and went ahead to Sean's office. She knocked on the door and heard him say "Come in". She opened the door and peeked in.
"Is everything alright?"
Sean was standing by his window looking out, but when he heard her soft voice he turned around. "Yeah." He said.
Elana knew he was not o.k. so she opened the door further and went in and closed it. She walked over to the front of his desk holding her folders in her hands down in front of her. "I know you're not o.k. Sean. I hope Sheridan didn't take out any frustration about my walking out on you. I'm sorry if ..."
"No Elana, you don't have to apologize for anything. Sheridan didn't take anything out on me because of you." As he said this he walked over to the front of his desk next to her and gently took her hand in his.
"Then why are you looking so sad. She must have said something to upset you."
"Yeah, just relationship stuff. I deserved all the bashing I got."
"Oh, you got bashed huh. What did you do?"
"It's more what I didn't do."
"And what is that?" As soon as she asked this she knew she was getting into an issue that she didn't need to deal with. She didn't want to care about what was going on between Sean and Sheridan, but in reality she did. "You know Sean I'm sorry. This is none of my business."
Sean took the folders out of her other hand and held it also. Now they stood at a small distance facing each other while Sean held her fingers in his own as he answered her. "It is your business Elana. To answer your question I didn't love her and I told her that today, so needless to say she wasn't too pleased."
"So you broke up with her after I had just walked out on her. She must be feeling a great sense of rejection right now. Maybe I shouldn't have left so quickly. Maybe I should have at least tried to discuss it further and then maybe eventually she would have changed her offer. This way she wouldn't have two rejections to deal with on the same day." Elana felt regret at her part in whatever Sheridan might be going through at that time.
Sean on the other hand couldn't help but admire Elana even more for thinking of him and of Sheridan. All he wanted was to say that now they could be together, but there still was the pending pregnancy that he hoped he would find out about soon and then he would have to deal with whatever the consequences would be. "I'm sure Sheridan will be o.k. There was no love lost between us. She's probably more offended than anything right now from my confession. As to your leaving, she thinks you're the prune right now and sees it as your loss."
"Well if all that is the case why are you so down?"
Sean let go of her hands and sat on the edge of his desk. He knew it was too soon to tell Elana that he might be a father, but he wanted to do it anyway. They had always been so close and he was never able to keep anything from her. Even though they had been separated by time he still felt the same way now that she was back in his life, but using his better judgement he refrained from telling her. "I just ended a two year relationship that I initially had hoped would work for us both, but it never did. I really put everything into making it work, at first. I wanted to really feel about someone the way I felt about you. After years of her asking me to take her out I finally did, thinking this could be the person God was sending to me to have the things I wanted like a loving wife and children, but Sheridan was only in it for status and money. The signs were always there, but I chose to ignore them, but today I finally saw clearly why she was with me and it's kinda hard to take knowing that she just wanted to be with me because it made her look good."
Elana moved closer to Sean and put her hand on his arm. "Sean I'm sorry you have to go through this, but sometimes it's better to find these things out now rather than later. You deserve better than that, but I'm sure it wasn't all bad. I don't see how she could not love you even if she may have initially been after status and money. She seemed to be somewhat affectionate toward you."
"Sheridan is all about herself. I can assure you of that and affection was always a foreign word to her. We couldn't even hold hands in public because it wasn't proper etiquette."
Elana felt sorry for Sean because it seemed that he had spent his last two years in a loveless relationship. She thought that at least she was not involved with anyone so she did not have to suffer through any emotional torment over relationships, but Sean had spent his time trying to find true love again and ended up unfulfilled which placed a heavier emotional burden on him. She didn't know what to say or do to console him, but she tried. "I'm so sorry Sean that you're feeling so hurt right now. I wish there was something I could do." She said consolingly as she rubbed his arm, while he sat there in a somber mood.
After she said this, Sean looked up at her and forced a half smile then he held her by her waist and rested his head on her breasts. Elana did not try to resist him because she knew he needed it at that moment. They remained there for a few seconds and Sean seemed to cling to her not wanting to let go. He remembered how they could always console each other when things were not going well for them either in school, at home or between them, and he relished in this old familiar feeling. He wondered if she felt the same thing.
Elana also remembered that in the past when Sean was down, she usually would let him rest his head on her chest while they held each other on the sofa of her apartment in Georgia. When they did this everything seemed to slip their minds and there was only the two of them, which is how they both felt during their embrace. Elana remembered that Sean had such a gentle way about him and they always knew how to make each other feel better. Feeling needed by him again was something she had missed. Because of the distance she had kept from other men, no one had wanted to rely on her for anything because she didn't want to rely on them, but now consoling Sean she realized how she wanted someone to need her again.
After holding onto her for a minute or so Sean finally, reluctantly and slowly let go of her, because he was trying to avoid his urge to kiss her again. But before he moved completely away from her and with his hands still around her waist, he gazed into her eyes and whispered, "Thank you."
"You're welcome." She whispered back to him not shying away from their gaze, in which they both knew this was a turning point in their relationship as it stood.
Sean smiled and finally let her go completely then she gathered her folders and held them close to her with one arm while she pushed the few loose strands of hair off her ear with her other hand as she said "I have to go down and finish the interviews in Administration. Will you be alright?"
"Yes, I'm fine now." He answered.
Elana gave him a soft smile, "Good, then I guess I'll see you around the rest of this week." She said and then she walked toward the door opened it and before she left she glanced back at Sean who was still watching her. They gave each other a knowing look and Elana turned forward and slowly closed the door behind her as she left.