And so it goes…

I'm not too fond of funerals. But, then again, who is?

The whole thing was just tiring. I mean there I was pretending to listen to the priest when everything went through one ear and out the other. I kept thinking, 'God, I just want to go to bed, away from all these people.' I felt drained. I looked around and saw a sea of depressed eyes, many with tears streaming down. Tom kept his head down the whole time. He knew he wouldn't see his dad ever again; that nothing was going to be the same. After the funeral was even more exhausting. People who I haven't seen years came up to me with their sympathetic smiles, telling about what a great man Richard was. I finally escaped to a corner where I stayed as everyone mingled and reminisced on old
times.


 "Hey." Some had found me in my secret spot. I turned around and saw Rachel giving me the 'I'm sorry' look.

"Not you too. I don't need your sympathy too, Rach."

" I know you don't but you seem like you need to get out of this room for a while. Can we talk in the guest room?"

" Sure." We weaved through the crowd and once again I felt all eyes on me.

"Poor Monica and little Tommy. I don't know what they're going to do now." Some one whispered and I rolled my eyes. As soon as we got in the room I closed the door behind us and leaned against the bedpost. Rachel sat next to me.

" So, How's it going?"

" Fine. Given the circumstances." Rachel nodded her head.

" I don't know if this is the right time to bring this up but, have you've thought about the future?"

" Money wise?"

" Yeah."

" Well, I don't have to worry too much; Richard wrote a will."

" He did?"

" Yeah, you know Richard. Always prepared."

" So what does it say?"

" He left the practice to Tim but I get the apartment, and the money in his accounts."

" Are you thinking about going back to work?"

" Defiantly. That money isn't going to last forever."

" Good because I have a friend in the restaurant business who might be looking to hire."

" That would be great. Oh that reminds me, I'm going to have to hire a baby sitter."

" I could help you find one."

" Thanks. You don't have to worry about us, we're going to be fine."

" I know that, because we'll all be here to do whatever we can to help." The door opened and Joey and Phoebe appeared. Joey flew down as soon as he heard the news and planned to stay until next Friday, the first court date.

" Sorry, I didn't know you two were in here, I just wanted to get my phone out of my coat." Joey apologized.

" No problem." I replied.

" Phoebe and I were just talking and you know if you ever need to get away, take some time off. You can always come to visit. I'd love to have you over."

" Or I can give you a free massage. They're very relaxing and you won't even have to pay." Phoebe added.

" We want to. You've done so much for us, it's about time we did stuff for you."

" Look," I began coolly, " This is all very nice for you guys to offer but I can't stress this enough, I'm fine. I'm not fragile; I'm not going to break. Just because he's dead does not mean my whole life will crumble. I was fine before he came along and I will be fine after. I just wish you would stop treating like some charity project. Okay?"  They just nodded and I walked out of the room and headed straight out the front door. I stopped when I saw Chandler sitting on the stairs smoking. He motioned me to sit next to him and I did.

" I'm not going to ask how's it going."

" That's a relief. When did you start smoking again?"

" When my life started not making sense."

" That's a pretty long time then." I joked.

" Yes indeed it is." He smiled. His smile always had an effect on me.

" I want you stop. It's a horrible habit and I'd hate to loose you too." My tone turned serious. He looked at me for a moment and handed me the carton and his lighter.

" Okay." He took one more puff and put the cigarette out against the wall. " I'd hate to have you loose me too." He smiled again and I did in return.

" Phoebe and I are getting a divorce."

" Oh?"

" It's a mutual thing. She never really got over David and well, you know my story."

" About us, I don't know-,"

" We don't have to talk about that now. We both, you especially, have a lot to agonize about without bringing 'us' into the equation. Hopefully in the near future, the subject of 'us' will come up again, but for now we're just Monica and Chandler: best friends. My feelings for you are not going to change, this I know for a fact. So we'll take things slow."

" When did you become so mature and confident?"

" I had to grow up some time."

"Thanks for being so understanding."

" You don't have to thank me. In the words of Dionne Warwick: 'That's what friends are for.'" He pulled me into a hug and in that moment, the world felt right. It felt good to be in his arms, even we were just friends. Us being together felt right.


*****


Wednesday, 4 days later, wasn't so easy.


" Tommy, put on the sneakers I told you to wear!"

" I don't wanna!" He yelled back

" Put them on or your not going to the game! You can't where your dressy shoes to a ball park!"

" Well maybe I don't wanna go!" He stomped.

" You wanted to go last week."

" I don't like the stupid Yankees." He huffed and plopped on the couch.

" What are you talking about? You love the Yankees." I knelt down in front of him.

" I'm not going with Uncle Joey."

" You don't like Uncle Joey anymore?"

" I wanted to go with dad not him. So I'm not going." I sighed.

" I know you miss your dad, it hasn't been long since he's been gone but he would have wanted you to go to the game."

" He would?"

" Yes. I know that he wants you to go with Uncle Joey and have fun, get on of those hotdogs you love and cheer them. So can you do that?  For dad?"

" Yeah I guess so," he said slowly.

" Okay." I smiled and kissed him on his forehead. " Go get your sneakers. He would want you to wear those." He ran to his room and at the same time the door busted open and Joey came in.

" Let's go Yankees! Hey Mon."

" Hey Joey, he's putting on his shoes."

" It's been so long since I've been to a game. I've been thinking about moving back or at least flying back more than I have been."

" That would be great Joe! We all miss you."

" I miss you guys too."

" Uncle Joey!" Tommy ran up to him and Joey scooped him in his arms like he always did.

" Hey man, ready to go?"

" Yup." Joey put him on his

" Okay you boys be careful and have fun."

" Bye mommy." Tommy waved.

" Yeah bye mommy." Joey chimed. When they left it hit me that this was the first time I've been alone in the apartment and that Richard is really gone. I went on the computer and pulled up my old resume. It was time to start from scratch and it gave me a new outlook of life.



Okay I got it posted, yay!  So here's the deal, I'm coming back in 2 weeks.  By then I will probably have the rest of the fic on paper, ready to be typed.  The only way that I will post the next chapter is if I get 10 reviews.  That's not a lot.  I'm not asking for like 20.  To those of you who have been reviewing, thank you so much!  I like to hear what you have to say.

Also, sorry if there's any mistakes, typos, etc.  I was trying to type this really quickly so my boss doesn't see that I'm not doing work.  ;-) 

Remember 10 reviews!