Part 26: CONCEPTIONS & CONFESSIONS
The rest of the week was quiet around Crealite. Sean still came in early, but he retreated immediately to his office and he and Elana did not see each other at all because she was busy conducting interviews with the administrative staff on the 32nd floor. James had asked Elana out over the weekend but she declined not really being in the mood to be conversant with him. She couldn't help but think of whether Sean was making out all right after his break up with Sheridan and she so much wanted to go to him and help him through this difficult time. She couldn't help but sense that something else was bothering him, something more serious that he had not told her, but she shrugged it off as just her imagination. On Friday, Elana finished up her interviews and went back to her office to pack up and leave for the weekend. She remembered that Sean said he would give her until Friday to tell him when she would go out with him, but she figured that he had not anticipated the effect his break-up would have on him and that now was not the time for him to be talking about entering another relationship. She finished packing up her things and headed home for the weekend.
Elana was looking forward to the tennis session with Gail that they had planned on Saturday. They usually would get together every other weekend for a whole day. They would each teach a class in the morning at the local YWCA if they were needed as substitutes. Elana taught tennis & Gail taught an art class. Afterwards, they would play a tennis game to demonstrate for Elana's students, then they would go to a beauty spa, do a light lunch, shopping and then maybe catch a movie or just kick back at Elana's place and talk girl talk. During the past few weeks Gail had also begun to share her lovemaking secrets with Elana, who she hoped would use them to seduce Sean.
Gail and Elana had shared times like these since they met at Spellman, where they instantly became friends and eventually they were as close as sisters. They did just about everything together. They were both on the tennis team and made it to the finals every year, but Elana always took home the tennis championship title. Gail was always best at designing clothing, so she spent most of her spare time making dresses for weddings and other large events.
On this particular weekend Gail postponed their outing until the afternoon because she had to go to Connecticut that morning for fertility testing. She and Max had a two-year old daughter and they had been trying to have another baby, for about a year, but for some reason they could not conceive. They finally decided to go to a world renowned fertilization specialist in Connecticut to help them.
On schedule, Saturday afternoon, Gail met Elana at the YWCA. They played a tennis game, showered and then headed to a late lunch at a new local café to power up for some shopping later. During lunch Elana took the time to tell Gail all that had happened between her and Sean.
"So how did things work out with the doctor?"
"I think it's gonna go fine. This doctor is the best and he practically guarantees that we won't be having octuplets or anything because I don't want no baby that bad. He has an excellent staff and his facility is impressive. It's a complete family planning center, where you can either forfeit the right to parenthood through vasectomies, tubule legations or hysterectomies or force it through invitro-fertilization or sperm donation."
"Well I certainly hope it works for you and Max, you deserve it."
"Thanks Elana. I have to admit that I was scared when I didn't get pregnant after trying for a year. Max and I want at least three kids, so this clinic seems to be our answer. So many people have had success with him. He's really sought after and many prominent people go to him for help."
"Wow. Then it seems that you and Max will be getting those other two children soon"
"Yes, we will. I guess I'll have everything I want then: The perfect husband and three beautiful children. All I need now is that jag I've been telling you about." Gail said jokingly.
"Why don't you just go buy yourself the jaguar Gail. Max won't mind."
"I know, I just want him to get it for me. So I can have an excuse to make some wild and passionate love to him. Sometimes it means so much more when your husband does things for you. I think he's coming around though because at the clinic this morning I saw the exact jag I want. It was crème colored with gold rims. If the blonde woman who got into it wasn't in such a hurry to leave I was going to go over to her and make a big deal out of the car with Max there so that he would get the hint, but I never had a chance."
"She was leaving? I thought you had one of the first appointments"
"I did too, but she may have been dropping somebody off or something, but enough about me. What's been going on at Crealite? I can see that something is bothering you. What is it girl?
Elana looked up from her meal. "What do you mean?"
"Ah, come on Elana. This is me you're talking to. I can tell when something's wrong. so spill it. Is it that James fella. I told you to stop wasting your time with him."
"No, Gail it's not James." Elana hesitated because she had tried to keep from telling Gail about what had happened between her and Sean, but now she felt to have someone help her sort out her feelings. "It's Sean."
"Ummm." Gail said putting down the glass that she was drinking from. "Now this I want to hear." She looked at Elana waiting for her to say what was going on.
"Well, he's had a rough time these past few days and I just feel for him."
"Is it something dealing with the company?"
"No, it's personal."
"Personal? Oh. You mean you know something personal about the man? The last I heard you were trying to keep everything impersonal. So, how is it that you have come to know something personal about Sean after you had been trying to avoid him for 9 years?"
"Well, we've been talking in the mornings before everyone gets in and I guess - oh I don't know, we were such good friends before so I guess we just kinda eased back into it."
"Eased back into it you say. Now who was doing the easing, you or him?"
"I don't know we just seem to spend the first half hour together in my office just about everyday now and..."
"Oh I see, so he comes to your office. I got it."
Elana could see she was fighting a loosing battle so she decides to just go ahead and tell Gail everything. "Ok. Sit back and listen Gail. Over a week ago, Sean and I got into a compromising situation in his office and then I pulled away from him. He got angry and said some mean things to me then I slapped him and he kissed me. So I stormed out of his office, slamming his door and then mine. Later he apologized and we've been extra friendly since then. Anyway, he broke up with Sheridan last week and he was a little upset about it so I talked and listened to him and I comforted him in my arms for a few minutes. So these past few days he hasn't come in to talk. He just goes straight to his office. I know there's something else bothering him. I just don't know how to ask him about it.
Gail sat there with her eyes and mouth wide open. "Elana girl I am going to strangle you. How could you keep all of this from me? I don't believe you." She paused for a few seconds to take everything Elana had said in. "So he kissed you? How did it feel after all these years?"
"Oh, Gail. It was indescribable. When he touched me, I felt like I belonged to him and I gave in to the point where I couldn't stop myself. If he had wanted to have me on the floor I would have been putty in his hands. I don't think I would be able to resist him now like I could when I was younger. Every time he looks at me I turn to butter inside. I guess I just never anticipated how much of an impact he would have on me after all this time."
"So why didn't you let him roll your putty girl or butter his bread with you?" Gail jokingly asked.
"It wasn't me, but he was the one who stopped and said that we had to settle some unfinished business between us."
"Umm Umph, girl sounds like he has a plan for you and I hope he gets you back good too."
"Gail, why would you say that."
"Because you deserve to have a taste of your own medicine. I remember how much that man used to really love you. I was always jealous just looking at you two whenever he came to Atlanta to visit you. He would have done anything for you and you went and broke his heart. Now after seeing you again I know he wants you back. That's why he broke up with Sheridan. He probably realized that he wanted you and not her."
"I think it was just that he was unhappy in the relationship."
"Oh of course he was. Because she wasn't you. I can't imagine him reacting to anyone the way you two reacted to each other. You couldn't keep your hands off of each other. You went everywhere hand in hand except for the bathroom whenever he and his good looking friend visited and you were always kissing and hugging up on each other. Girl, if I were you I would make sure that I was there every minute to help him during his time of sorrow or whatever. If you ask me the man is clearing his pathway to you. I wouldn't be surprised if he asked you out soon."
"He already did, several times."
"And you said no of course."
"Yeah, well he was still dating Sheridan and you know how I feel about that. But now he's made me promise that I would go out with him. I just have to let him know when."
"So have you decided yet? You know you'll have to tell him what happened."
"I know. It's so hard to pinpoint a time. I've been thinking that maybe next weekend would be good. It'll give us both time to prepare ourselves. Me for how he'll react and him for what I'll say."
"I wonder what he thinks is the reason you wrote him that letter?"
"He probably thinks I started dating someone else because he was always so worried about me meeting someone. He would constantly ask me to never let another man touch me because he couldn't live with the thought of me being with someone else."
"Well he still doesn't have to worry about that one. If you ask me Elana you need to take that man out and tell him the truth then let him decide what he'll do. Like I said his daddy ain't gonna disown him. Maybe he'll be a little upset for a while, but once he gets to know you and you start giving him some grandkids he'll really love you. I don't see how anyone can't unless he's just a white supremacist and I don't think Sean was raised in that type of home."
"Maybe you're right Gail. I'm just scared of exposing myself completely to him or to any man. I don't want to feel vulnerable like I did when I was in college and I gave in to Phillip Logan's threats."
"Then don't be vulnerable. Take control. Now that Sean's single. You start calling the shots and have him back on your terms if he forgives you for leaving him like you did. There's no rulebook that says you have to sit back and let men make all the moves when it comes to relationships. If I had waited for Max he would be married to Suma Ali back in India somewhere."
"I don't know if I can do that to Sean. Any other man I can deal with them on their own level, but with Sean it's different. It's like I'm back in college again. I don't know if I can call any shots with him."
"Well, I know what I'm going to do for you. I'm working on a few dresses for Victoria's Secret, but I'm going to design them specifically with you in mind, so when I finish them I want you to be my advertisement. But I have to warn you if you wear these dresses don't be prepared to stay in them too long. This way you'll be able to call the shots without saying a word."
"You think?"
"I know. I have a talent for making dresses that speak to men, so with your body and my designs, girl you'll have Sean worshipping you on his hands and knees."
The two women finished their lunch while they continued to converse about Sean and Elana. At the end of the day, Gail finally went home and they promised to get together in two weeks for another girl's day out. After Gail left Elana decided to take a shower, then retire to retire for the night while she read a Rochelle Alers novel. It was 12:30am when she finally climbed into bed and the phone rang. She figured it was Gail letting her know she arrived home safely.
"Hello?"
"Hi! How Are You?"
Elana couldn't believe it. It was Sean on the other line. She couldn't mistake his sexy voice for anyone else. "Oh! Hi Sean. Is everything ok?" She asked wondering why he was calling her so late.
"No. Not really."
"What is it?"
"I was just lying here thinking of you. I was going to wait until Monday to give you more time to come tell me when we could get together, but I just couldn't wait until then. I also missed you. I'm sorry I wasn't coming in to say hello this past week. I just had a lot on my mind."
"That's ok Sean. I understand."
"Look, the real reason I called was because I've been thinking about something. Something I need to tell you before we decide to go out.
"What's that?"
"Um. Well, I told you I broke it off with Sheridan, but what I didn't tell you is that - well she - well um the thing is that I may have fathered a child with her." Sean stopped and waited for Elana's reaction.
At hearing this Elana didn't know what to feel. She couldn't be angry or hurt but for some reason she felt both. After a few seconds she decided that she still owed it to him to let him know what happened regardless of whether he had children or not. She knew now that she had been unfair to him all these years and in some ways she was responsible for his possible fatherhood because she had rather give him up than see him with her and devoid of his family. Her own unselfishness had given Sean the right to be with someone else and have children so she could not fault him in any way for it.
"Elana, are you still there?"
"Um yeah. I'm sorry I just wasn't expecting to hear that."
"Yeah I know. I just couldn't keep it from you. I wanted you to know before you made a decision about our getting together to talk."
"What does our talking have to do with you and Sheridan having a child?"
"I guess it has a lot to do with it because if she pregnant, it will impact my future just as our discussion will."
"Sean our discussion has to do with our past not our future."
"That's not true Elana it has to do with our past and future, but I don't want to get into it on the phone I just wanted you to know about Sheridan. I wasn't gonna tell you, but you know I never could keep anything from you."
They sat in silence for a few seconds and Sean wondered if Elana had anything else to say. After she did not respond he decided that he would leave her alone until she came to him with a time for them to get together.
"Well, I need to go. I guess I'll see you Monday morning you can let me know then what you decide unless you want to wait and find out if Sheridan is actually pregnant or not."
"No, Sean, I don't need to wait we can get together next week and talk about this. I think I'm ready to get it off my chest. So whenever is a good time for you I'll be ready."
"Hum, what about now."
"Now? Oh I don't think so Sean it's almost 1am and you know I'm not a night person."
"Yeah, I know. I was just kidding anyway. I'm actually in Connecticut with my grandfather, but maybe at lunch sometime next week or dinner, maybe?"
"Well I'm going to be pretty busy next week interviewing another department and we probably need more time than lunch. So what about next weekend?"
"Ok. How does Saturday night sound?"
"That's good. Maybe around 5 or 6?"
"Yeah, maybe we can do an early show, then a nice dinner and talk for as long as we need to. I can pick you up at your place if you trust me with your address."
"Yes, I trust you Sean."
They finished their conversation and Elana gave Sean her address and directions to her home. The rest of the night she couldn't sleep thinking about how good he sounded on the phone. She had almost forgotten that and enjoyed the goose bumps she felt when he was talking to her. She drifted off to sleep dreaming about how the two of them would sometimes stay on the phone from the early evening until dawn.
The following week Sean and Elana were both anxious to get together. Sean was anxious because he was hoping that Elana would agree to give them another chance. He was also anticipating news from Sheridan about her condition hoping she would not be pregnant and his dealings with her could come to a complete end. Elana kept herself busy with work and refused a few invitations to go out with James that Saturday night. Finally Friday arrived and it was at the end of the day when Sean made his way over to Elana's office and knocked on the door.
"Come on in."
Sean opened the door and saw Elana sitting at her desk with her reading glasses on and examining a pile of paperwork.
"I certainly hope you don't have to finish any of this by Monday." Sean said looking concerned that her work would hinder them from getting together the next day.
Elana looked up at him and smiled inwardly once she saw Sean's serious concern and knew he probably thought she would cancel out for Saturday. "No, Sean, don't worry. I should be finished with this by noon tomorrow and if not I'll finish it on Sunday sometime.
"You mean you can finish all of this by tomorrow. Elana you really don't have to work that hard. You should relax a little on the weekend."
"I do sometimes. I'm just trying to get this thing done so that you won't have to pay me so much money and have an exorbitant fee on your income statement this year.
"Well, in that case carry on." He said and they both laughed it off. "So are you ready for tomorrow night."
"Yes, I'm ready I guess."
"Good, I'm looking forward to it." He said as he turned to leave but before he was out the door he turned back around. "There's something I think I need to ask you."
"What's that?"
Smiling broadly he asked "Do you believe in kissing on the first date?"
"Now why would you ask me that. I didn't know this was a date, I thought it was more of a meeting?" Elana was happy that he couldn't tell she was blushing.
"It is -- it is a meeting, but hopefully it'll turn into a date, and I asked because if it does I want to know beforehand how far I can go."
"You of all people should already know the answer to that one."
"Hey, I'm not presuming that I know everything about you. You may have changed your standards in 9 years. At least I'm hoping you have. I'm was just checking."
"Well, I guess you'll have to wait and see."
"Are you teasing me Elana?"
"You tell me after tomorrow night."
"Ok I'll pick you up at 5:30 sharp."
"Ok."
Sean winked at her then turned back around to leave. His thoughts were happy ones as he contemplated what would happen after tomorrow night. He had already decided that whatever Elana told him was the reason for her departure he would forgive her. He hoped that she would consent to their trying again because he didn't want to waste anymore time with her being out of his life. He wanted her and everyday he could feel his love for her rejuvenating.
The rest of the week was quiet around Crealite. Sean still came in early, but he retreated immediately to his office and he and Elana did not see each other at all because she was busy conducting interviews with the administrative staff on the 32nd floor. James had asked Elana out over the weekend but she declined not really being in the mood to be conversant with him. She couldn't help but think of whether Sean was making out all right after his break up with Sheridan and she so much wanted to go to him and help him through this difficult time. She couldn't help but sense that something else was bothering him, something more serious that he had not told her, but she shrugged it off as just her imagination. On Friday, Elana finished up her interviews and went back to her office to pack up and leave for the weekend. She remembered that Sean said he would give her until Friday to tell him when she would go out with him, but she figured that he had not anticipated the effect his break-up would have on him and that now was not the time for him to be talking about entering another relationship. She finished packing up her things and headed home for the weekend.
Elana was looking forward to the tennis session with Gail that they had planned on Saturday. They usually would get together every other weekend for a whole day. They would each teach a class in the morning at the local YWCA if they were needed as substitutes. Elana taught tennis & Gail taught an art class. Afterwards, they would play a tennis game to demonstrate for Elana's students, then they would go to a beauty spa, do a light lunch, shopping and then maybe catch a movie or just kick back at Elana's place and talk girl talk. During the past few weeks Gail had also begun to share her lovemaking secrets with Elana, who she hoped would use them to seduce Sean.
Gail and Elana had shared times like these since they met at Spellman, where they instantly became friends and eventually they were as close as sisters. They did just about everything together. They were both on the tennis team and made it to the finals every year, but Elana always took home the tennis championship title. Gail was always best at designing clothing, so she spent most of her spare time making dresses for weddings and other large events.
On this particular weekend Gail postponed their outing until the afternoon because she had to go to Connecticut that morning for fertility testing. She and Max had a two-year old daughter and they had been trying to have another baby, for about a year, but for some reason they could not conceive. They finally decided to go to a world renowned fertilization specialist in Connecticut to help them.
On schedule, Saturday afternoon, Gail met Elana at the YWCA. They played a tennis game, showered and then headed to a late lunch at a new local café to power up for some shopping later. During lunch Elana took the time to tell Gail all that had happened between her and Sean.
"So how did things work out with the doctor?"
"I think it's gonna go fine. This doctor is the best and he practically guarantees that we won't be having octuplets or anything because I don't want no baby that bad. He has an excellent staff and his facility is impressive. It's a complete family planning center, where you can either forfeit the right to parenthood through vasectomies, tubule legations or hysterectomies or force it through invitro-fertilization or sperm donation."
"Well I certainly hope it works for you and Max, you deserve it."
"Thanks Elana. I have to admit that I was scared when I didn't get pregnant after trying for a year. Max and I want at least three kids, so this clinic seems to be our answer. So many people have had success with him. He's really sought after and many prominent people go to him for help."
"Wow. Then it seems that you and Max will be getting those other two children soon"
"Yes, we will. I guess I'll have everything I want then: The perfect husband and three beautiful children. All I need now is that jag I've been telling you about." Gail said jokingly.
"Why don't you just go buy yourself the jaguar Gail. Max won't mind."
"I know, I just want him to get it for me. So I can have an excuse to make some wild and passionate love to him. Sometimes it means so much more when your husband does things for you. I think he's coming around though because at the clinic this morning I saw the exact jag I want. It was crème colored with gold rims. If the blonde woman who got into it wasn't in such a hurry to leave I was going to go over to her and make a big deal out of the car with Max there so that he would get the hint, but I never had a chance."
"She was leaving? I thought you had one of the first appointments"
"I did too, but she may have been dropping somebody off or something, but enough about me. What's been going on at Crealite? I can see that something is bothering you. What is it girl?
Elana looked up from her meal. "What do you mean?"
"Ah, come on Elana. This is me you're talking to. I can tell when something's wrong. so spill it. Is it that James fella. I told you to stop wasting your time with him."
"No, Gail it's not James." Elana hesitated because she had tried to keep from telling Gail about what had happened between her and Sean, but now she felt to have someone help her sort out her feelings. "It's Sean."
"Ummm." Gail said putting down the glass that she was drinking from. "Now this I want to hear." She looked at Elana waiting for her to say what was going on.
"Well, he's had a rough time these past few days and I just feel for him."
"Is it something dealing with the company?"
"No, it's personal."
"Personal? Oh. You mean you know something personal about the man? The last I heard you were trying to keep everything impersonal. So, how is it that you have come to know something personal about Sean after you had been trying to avoid him for 9 years?"
"Well, we've been talking in the mornings before everyone gets in and I guess - oh I don't know, we were such good friends before so I guess we just kinda eased back into it."
"Eased back into it you say. Now who was doing the easing, you or him?"
"I don't know we just seem to spend the first half hour together in my office just about everyday now and..."
"Oh I see, so he comes to your office. I got it."
Elana could see she was fighting a loosing battle so she decides to just go ahead and tell Gail everything. "Ok. Sit back and listen Gail. Over a week ago, Sean and I got into a compromising situation in his office and then I pulled away from him. He got angry and said some mean things to me then I slapped him and he kissed me. So I stormed out of his office, slamming his door and then mine. Later he apologized and we've been extra friendly since then. Anyway, he broke up with Sheridan last week and he was a little upset about it so I talked and listened to him and I comforted him in my arms for a few minutes. So these past few days he hasn't come in to talk. He just goes straight to his office. I know there's something else bothering him. I just don't know how to ask him about it.
Gail sat there with her eyes and mouth wide open. "Elana girl I am going to strangle you. How could you keep all of this from me? I don't believe you." She paused for a few seconds to take everything Elana had said in. "So he kissed you? How did it feel after all these years?"
"Oh, Gail. It was indescribable. When he touched me, I felt like I belonged to him and I gave in to the point where I couldn't stop myself. If he had wanted to have me on the floor I would have been putty in his hands. I don't think I would be able to resist him now like I could when I was younger. Every time he looks at me I turn to butter inside. I guess I just never anticipated how much of an impact he would have on me after all this time."
"So why didn't you let him roll your putty girl or butter his bread with you?" Gail jokingly asked.
"It wasn't me, but he was the one who stopped and said that we had to settle some unfinished business between us."
"Umm Umph, girl sounds like he has a plan for you and I hope he gets you back good too."
"Gail, why would you say that."
"Because you deserve to have a taste of your own medicine. I remember how much that man used to really love you. I was always jealous just looking at you two whenever he came to Atlanta to visit you. He would have done anything for you and you went and broke his heart. Now after seeing you again I know he wants you back. That's why he broke up with Sheridan. He probably realized that he wanted you and not her."
"I think it was just that he was unhappy in the relationship."
"Oh of course he was. Because she wasn't you. I can't imagine him reacting to anyone the way you two reacted to each other. You couldn't keep your hands off of each other. You went everywhere hand in hand except for the bathroom whenever he and his good looking friend visited and you were always kissing and hugging up on each other. Girl, if I were you I would make sure that I was there every minute to help him during his time of sorrow or whatever. If you ask me the man is clearing his pathway to you. I wouldn't be surprised if he asked you out soon."
"He already did, several times."
"And you said no of course."
"Yeah, well he was still dating Sheridan and you know how I feel about that. But now he's made me promise that I would go out with him. I just have to let him know when."
"So have you decided yet? You know you'll have to tell him what happened."
"I know. It's so hard to pinpoint a time. I've been thinking that maybe next weekend would be good. It'll give us both time to prepare ourselves. Me for how he'll react and him for what I'll say."
"I wonder what he thinks is the reason you wrote him that letter?"
"He probably thinks I started dating someone else because he was always so worried about me meeting someone. He would constantly ask me to never let another man touch me because he couldn't live with the thought of me being with someone else."
"Well he still doesn't have to worry about that one. If you ask me Elana you need to take that man out and tell him the truth then let him decide what he'll do. Like I said his daddy ain't gonna disown him. Maybe he'll be a little upset for a while, but once he gets to know you and you start giving him some grandkids he'll really love you. I don't see how anyone can't unless he's just a white supremacist and I don't think Sean was raised in that type of home."
"Maybe you're right Gail. I'm just scared of exposing myself completely to him or to any man. I don't want to feel vulnerable like I did when I was in college and I gave in to Phillip Logan's threats."
"Then don't be vulnerable. Take control. Now that Sean's single. You start calling the shots and have him back on your terms if he forgives you for leaving him like you did. There's no rulebook that says you have to sit back and let men make all the moves when it comes to relationships. If I had waited for Max he would be married to Suma Ali back in India somewhere."
"I don't know if I can do that to Sean. Any other man I can deal with them on their own level, but with Sean it's different. It's like I'm back in college again. I don't know if I can call any shots with him."
"Well, I know what I'm going to do for you. I'm working on a few dresses for Victoria's Secret, but I'm going to design them specifically with you in mind, so when I finish them I want you to be my advertisement. But I have to warn you if you wear these dresses don't be prepared to stay in them too long. This way you'll be able to call the shots without saying a word."
"You think?"
"I know. I have a talent for making dresses that speak to men, so with your body and my designs, girl you'll have Sean worshipping you on his hands and knees."
The two women finished their lunch while they continued to converse about Sean and Elana. At the end of the day, Gail finally went home and they promised to get together in two weeks for another girl's day out. After Gail left Elana decided to take a shower, then retire to retire for the night while she read a Rochelle Alers novel. It was 12:30am when she finally climbed into bed and the phone rang. She figured it was Gail letting her know she arrived home safely.
"Hello?"
"Hi! How Are You?"
Elana couldn't believe it. It was Sean on the other line. She couldn't mistake his sexy voice for anyone else. "Oh! Hi Sean. Is everything ok?" She asked wondering why he was calling her so late.
"No. Not really."
"What is it?"
"I was just lying here thinking of you. I was going to wait until Monday to give you more time to come tell me when we could get together, but I just couldn't wait until then. I also missed you. I'm sorry I wasn't coming in to say hello this past week. I just had a lot on my mind."
"That's ok Sean. I understand."
"Look, the real reason I called was because I've been thinking about something. Something I need to tell you before we decide to go out.
"What's that?"
"Um. Well, I told you I broke it off with Sheridan, but what I didn't tell you is that - well she - well um the thing is that I may have fathered a child with her." Sean stopped and waited for Elana's reaction.
At hearing this Elana didn't know what to feel. She couldn't be angry or hurt but for some reason she felt both. After a few seconds she decided that she still owed it to him to let him know what happened regardless of whether he had children or not. She knew now that she had been unfair to him all these years and in some ways she was responsible for his possible fatherhood because she had rather give him up than see him with her and devoid of his family. Her own unselfishness had given Sean the right to be with someone else and have children so she could not fault him in any way for it.
"Elana, are you still there?"
"Um yeah. I'm sorry I just wasn't expecting to hear that."
"Yeah I know. I just couldn't keep it from you. I wanted you to know before you made a decision about our getting together to talk."
"What does our talking have to do with you and Sheridan having a child?"
"I guess it has a lot to do with it because if she pregnant, it will impact my future just as our discussion will."
"Sean our discussion has to do with our past not our future."
"That's not true Elana it has to do with our past and future, but I don't want to get into it on the phone I just wanted you to know about Sheridan. I wasn't gonna tell you, but you know I never could keep anything from you."
They sat in silence for a few seconds and Sean wondered if Elana had anything else to say. After she did not respond he decided that he would leave her alone until she came to him with a time for them to get together.
"Well, I need to go. I guess I'll see you Monday morning you can let me know then what you decide unless you want to wait and find out if Sheridan is actually pregnant or not."
"No, Sean, I don't need to wait we can get together next week and talk about this. I think I'm ready to get it off my chest. So whenever is a good time for you I'll be ready."
"Hum, what about now."
"Now? Oh I don't think so Sean it's almost 1am and you know I'm not a night person."
"Yeah, I know. I was just kidding anyway. I'm actually in Connecticut with my grandfather, but maybe at lunch sometime next week or dinner, maybe?"
"Well I'm going to be pretty busy next week interviewing another department and we probably need more time than lunch. So what about next weekend?"
"Ok. How does Saturday night sound?"
"That's good. Maybe around 5 or 6?"
"Yeah, maybe we can do an early show, then a nice dinner and talk for as long as we need to. I can pick you up at your place if you trust me with your address."
"Yes, I trust you Sean."
They finished their conversation and Elana gave Sean her address and directions to her home. The rest of the night she couldn't sleep thinking about how good he sounded on the phone. She had almost forgotten that and enjoyed the goose bumps she felt when he was talking to her. She drifted off to sleep dreaming about how the two of them would sometimes stay on the phone from the early evening until dawn.
The following week Sean and Elana were both anxious to get together. Sean was anxious because he was hoping that Elana would agree to give them another chance. He was also anticipating news from Sheridan about her condition hoping she would not be pregnant and his dealings with her could come to a complete end. Elana kept herself busy with work and refused a few invitations to go out with James that Saturday night. Finally Friday arrived and it was at the end of the day when Sean made his way over to Elana's office and knocked on the door.
"Come on in."
Sean opened the door and saw Elana sitting at her desk with her reading glasses on and examining a pile of paperwork.
"I certainly hope you don't have to finish any of this by Monday." Sean said looking concerned that her work would hinder them from getting together the next day.
Elana looked up at him and smiled inwardly once she saw Sean's serious concern and knew he probably thought she would cancel out for Saturday. "No, Sean, don't worry. I should be finished with this by noon tomorrow and if not I'll finish it on Sunday sometime.
"You mean you can finish all of this by tomorrow. Elana you really don't have to work that hard. You should relax a little on the weekend."
"I do sometimes. I'm just trying to get this thing done so that you won't have to pay me so much money and have an exorbitant fee on your income statement this year.
"Well, in that case carry on." He said and they both laughed it off. "So are you ready for tomorrow night."
"Yes, I'm ready I guess."
"Good, I'm looking forward to it." He said as he turned to leave but before he was out the door he turned back around. "There's something I think I need to ask you."
"What's that?"
Smiling broadly he asked "Do you believe in kissing on the first date?"
"Now why would you ask me that. I didn't know this was a date, I thought it was more of a meeting?" Elana was happy that he couldn't tell she was blushing.
"It is -- it is a meeting, but hopefully it'll turn into a date, and I asked because if it does I want to know beforehand how far I can go."
"You of all people should already know the answer to that one."
"Hey, I'm not presuming that I know everything about you. You may have changed your standards in 9 years. At least I'm hoping you have. I'm was just checking."
"Well, I guess you'll have to wait and see."
"Are you teasing me Elana?"
"You tell me after tomorrow night."
"Ok I'll pick you up at 5:30 sharp."
"Ok."
Sean winked at her then turned back around to leave. His thoughts were happy ones as he contemplated what would happen after tomorrow night. He had already decided that whatever Elana told him was the reason for her departure he would forgive her. He hoped that she would consent to their trying again because he didn't want to waste anymore time with her being out of his life. He wanted her and everyday he could feel his love for her rejuvenating.