I Heard It And I Cried
Summary: When Johnny Cade died gallant and too young, did he remember his first love? She remembers him. All of the secrets of the life of Johnny Cade...told through the eyes of the girl who loved him with all her heart.
Disclaimer: I do not own The Outsiders...I do own Angela, because of the obvious reason that I made her up! :) If you want to use her, which I doubt anyone would want one of my characters, ask me first, alrighty?
A/N: I am a HUGE Johnny fan, and even though I am probably writing a dreadful Mary Sue, which I abhor, thank you ever so, I had to tell his story my way and I hope I do not get flamed more than I deserve...:)
Chapter Two: The Children Who Are Hurting
We were born at the same time, on the same day, on a blustery autumn morning.
They say that you can't love someone before you're born, but I did, I was in love with Johnny Cade before I began to live, even.
Some Christians say that only God's love is divine, but human love is divine also...I remember that conversation, we were only five years old, but having parents who drive your skull against the wall each night and who the neighbors hear fighting over alcohol and money kind of force you to grow up a little faster.
On that subject anyway, I'm not sure what religion I am, but I think it's a good one...maybe it's just my own, like Johnny had his own...
We met the gang that day.
If we hadn't we probably wouldn't have known what love and friendship were other than our own.
The day we met them, was windy, and cold, and weird for a summer morning, and Johnny and I were walking down the street, all bruised, and our eyes downcast toward the cracked pavement.
He talked to me in his soft little voice, "Do you think our moms and dads'll go to heaven when they die, Angie?"
I nodded, eager, but then I thought for a while..
Why would they go to heaven? Why should they? If God sees everything and if he saw the way they treated us, would he let them in?
Secretly I hoped not, and I was going to just say yes, because I was real uncomfortable speaking about something like that...
You know how it is? Would you want to tell your friend that both of our parents are going to hell?
I didn't think so.
But I didn't want to lie...I don't think I could've if I wanted to anyway...it was too scary a subject for me to deny...so I told him.
"No..." I said meekly.
He held my hand, "I know...but sometimes I want to think they will."
I stared at Johnny, shocked. "What? Why?"
He looked at me wistfully...the light of life never really seemed to be in his eyes, only a frightened, defeated glimmer...I should have known then that he was going to die and leave me alone...because the light of heaven sort of falls into the eyes of those who don't have earthly light.
I got a little weird just then...I think I just made that up, but...it sort of makes sense, if you think about it.
He was bathed in fear, and I saw it. I think everyone else could see it too.
Except his mom and dad.
They didn't know him. They thought he would turn out as some dumb hoodlum out drinking on an open road and breaking streetlights.
They probably only kept him because they had life insurance on him...I bet they were real happy the day he died.
I know it's bad, but I'd absolutely love to cuss out that mother of his...and I don't swear a lot like the other grease girls do. I'm not saying I'm a soc, because I have never once heard one of them swear. Ever. But I don't use those swearwords all the time, you know? It's kind of...
Classless.
Like I have any class anyway.
Well anyway...back to his parents and my story...
Johnny's story.
I hate them!
But...it was that fear that drew the gang to us...and us to them. Maybe.
He finally answered, "Cause them preachers say that God always helps people to be good and all...and," he stopped with a tiny choke, "Sometimes I wonder if they go to heaven, that God and Jesus'll help them be good."
As we were walking, things got real quiet for what seemed to be eternity.
Until we heard some little boys playing by the church across the street, and decided to go see what they were doing.
Everyone in our neighborhood basically knows each-other, if they don't, they at least know your name, and as dangerous as that may be sometimes, it helps to feel like one big family.
"Hey! Cade!" shouted a tow-headed, tough-looking little seven year old boy, who was beating on an innocent kitten with a stick.
I winced at the kitten, wishing I could save it, but I didn't have the courage to go up to a mean-looking boy like that and tell him to stop.
But...then again....
You're not so smart at five.
And boy, was I ever stupid.
As Johnny looked on in horror, knowing the boy's reputation, I walked right up to him, and kicked him in the shins.
He spit at me, so I kicked him again....
I don't think he expected a girl to be so savage.
I pulled his hair, and clawed him, setting the cat free, though it turned out the cat was helping me too, and finally, exhausted and scared at what I thought was coming next, sat down on the ground, terrified.
I put my arms over my head.
It was clear that the cat and me, and Johnny, as I learned later, had won.
But it was only because I had caught him unaware.
'Oh my god...' I thought timidly, 'This mean boy is going to kill me...!'
I was shocked at the gesture I received instead.
He reached his hand out to me, and kindly, well, he was kind of rough, but anyway, he pulled me on my feet, and smiled dangerously.
"Gotta give it to ya, you're not as wimpy as I thought...." he said, a little impressed at a girl fighting.
I nodded, "Don't hurt the kittens. They're scared of you now."
"Everything's scared of me." he said impartially.
Did this boy care about anything? I didn't think so...but the only ones he'd open up to from that point on were me and Johnny.
We didn't get sassy with him, but he would never hurt us on purpose.
He already knew Johnny, and was friends with him, "So, what's your name?"
I drew myself to my full height, "Angie Perkins...um...who are you?"
"Dally Winston. Don't wear it out."
The boys behind me knew what was coming, and continued to play as if nothing was the matter. The older ones, whose names were Darry, Two-Bit, and Sodapop, just giggled a little and watched the boy talk to me.
Johnny had left to play with the younger one, Ponyboy, who I figured out was Sodapop's and Darry's kid brother...
I felt kind of bad for Pony, because he was the youngest...Johnny and I were treated as kids, and he was the gang's pet.
The blonde boy snickered, "Haha...Perkins...hm...well, if your last name is Perkins, then where's the perk, huh?" he said, gesturing to my chest. What did he want?! The perv! I was only five! "I don't see perk, I just see a flat pancake!"
He touched my chest, and before I saw it coming, Johnny punched him square in the nose.
All of us gasped collectively, we hadn't known Johnny was capable of doing something like that.
He knocked Dally onto the ground, and Dally gave us a dangerous smile and walked away, kicking a pebble contentedly and adding, "Hey, Angie...when I see you next, you better have some perk."
My ears got red. "And I will!" I screamed indignantly.
I noticed a few years later that when I said that, Johnny blushed madly and ran home...
So that's where he went.
We became real good friends with Pony and the rest...
But we didn't see Dally for a real long time, we figured that he was probably in the cooler, for him it was a sort of habit...you know, trying to break the law.
But I knew, as he walked away, with that grin on his face...
That was the day I fell in love with Dallas Winston.
A/N: Well, as they say, nothing makes things better than a nice love triangle! Especially when both of them die! And the next chapter will be better! Don't think Angela is a bad girl or anything, she really loves Johnny the most, but Dallas she also loves, but in a different way...which will be revealed, of course, in the nest chapter! The rating won't change, but this next one might be high PG-13, because of a little...incident....
Ja Ne- Neko-Neko Faust VIII
PS: Sankyuu to all of my reviewers! Sankyu! Sankyu! Sankyu! Danke Schon! Arigatou!
PSS: Yes, if you would like to know, I was born in Berlin! - But I live in the US! Whee! I love Austria's National Anthem!
Edelweiss!