Chapter 7: A Little Faith
Willow was dissolving into light, a bright shining space that had no dimension, no time.
I'm dying. Huh. Somehow I don't mind very much.
"Willow." A sweet gentle voice, as familiar and welcome as a caress against her cheek. A voice she thought she would never hear again. The redhead's eyes snapped open to find herself in a shining space. Drifting tones of rainbow color seemed to float through the air, reminding her of the way the sun looked when she was young, before she stared at it to long and it hurt her eyes.
"Willow." The voice came again. The witch felt love wrap around her like a blanket.
"Tara?" she asked, voice high and trembling in the stillness.
Full lips curved in radiant smile, honey brown hair danced in an unseen breeze.
"My Amazon."
Quite suddenly she was there. Tall and womanly, dressed in a flowing white gown, her eyes full of an eternity of wisdom and love.
"Baby is it you?" Willow trembled at the vision before her. "Oh please let it be you. Before, I was so sure, and then it wasn't and it was evil and—" Soft lips met hers in gentle kiss, Willow shuddered at the sweetness racing through her body. Nothing could fake that, nothing.
"Oh Tara." Willow choked eyes full of tears. "Tara its you."
Again that sweet lopsided grin. "Yes."
"Oh Goddess baby." Arms closed in heavenly embrace, Willow's hands sliding over every inch of her lover's warm solid form. "I didn't think I'd ever get to see you again, after everything I–"
"Shh. Shh. I know." Her angel silenced her with soft hand over her lips, her brown eyes holding a world of regret. "And I'm sorry Will, I'm so sorry I had to leave you. But you have to listen now, because we don't have much time."
"Not much time, what–" Willows hands fell to her sides as realization hit her full force in the gut. "I don't get to stay do I?" As Tara sadly shook her head, Willow felt guilt lace through her like a knife."Oh. No. No, of course not. I–I'm a murderer and I did bad, bad things I—"
"No." In a heartbeat Tara had her in her arms again, soothingly stroking the side of her face. "Willow no. You have to go back."
"Back?" Willows heart sank.
"They need you, the world needs you. It's not your time yet."
Willow closed her eyes, death she could face, but the world, the world with its uncertainty and violence, and grief? It wasn't fair.
"It wasn't yours either!" She cried brokenly, burying her face in the crook of her lover's neck.
"No it wasn't." Once again Tara's voice was filled with a deep abiding regret. " That's why I've been given this, this time with you. But you have to listen, there's things I need to tell you, things that you'll all need to know.Will you listen?"
Swallowing Willow nodded. Tara smiled in encouragement placing a quick kiss on her lips. "That's my girl." her face became grave, "The storm is coming," she began, placing her hands on Willows shoulders and looking deep into her eyes. " soon it will be here. Choices must be made, something relinquished and an acceptance given. A sacrifice is not always and end. The Balance must be achieved. There are always choices, the Wheel turns. And love," her companion smiled radiantly at her, "real love, it never dies. I love you." The space around them was shifting, blurring with color, Willow felt herself, beginning to fall, something inexplicable calling her back to earth, desperately she clung to Tara's form, trying to soak up every last second of the time they had.
"Tara oh Tara I love you too. I'm so sorry baby. I'm so sorry. I hurt you and I-I couldn't save you..."
Her love pulled back to look into her eyes, a gentle hand cupped her cheek, the other played with the ends of her hair. "I forgive you. Now its time to forgive yourself. The path you have chosen will be hard, but don't make it harder than it has to be. You don't have to be alone. And I'll be waiting, at the end, when it's time."
One last kiss tender, desperate, lingering. And Willow was pulling backward, Tara's shining form beginning to diminish and fade.
"Willow!" One last shining smile, her voice was almost an echo. " What she said was true. I do still sing to you, now and always."
Willow had just enough time to smile in return. And she was falling, back into a world of sharp color and texture and sound. And somewhere, somewhere a baby was crying, the high thin wail of newborn infant.
And then she was on soft cushions, in the cottage. Strong hands were shaking her shoulders, and Xander's face was over herstears streaming from his eye, as she shook her body where it lay cradled across his lap,yelling into her still face
"Wake up Willow! Wake up dammit! You can't leave me, not you too. Not you. Wake up!"
"Xander." She coughed weakly. "Xander." The man holding her went still.
"Willow?"
"Yeah, Xand, it's me." She smiled weakly into her friends stricken face. "I'm back."
"Oh god Will." Her friend choked, pulling her up into a crushing embrace. "I thought you were,"
He swallowed trying to choke back a sob. "You were so cold, and you–"
"I was." Willow pulled back to look into Xander's tear streaked face. She turned her head, taking in the ring of faces. Giles, glasses in hand, his face haggard, Dawn and Buffy, arms around each other, tears on their cheeks.
"Hey Will," Buffy smiled wetly, stepping forward to grasp her shoulder, "Welcome back."
She stepped back so that Dawn could embrace their friend.
"You scared us." The teen whispered, her lower lip still trembling.
"It's okay Dawnie." Willow whispered into the young girls hair.
"Are you okay?" Buffy asked, guilt plain on her face.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Did it work?"
A shadow seemed to cross the Slayers face. "Yeah, it worked."
"Do you need anything? Are you okay?" Xander's arms were squeezing Willow just a little too tightly.
"Yeah," Willow blinked a bit dazedly, "I'm fine. I think I'd like to go lie down. Xander, will you take me to my room?"
"Yeah, yeah. Of course." Scooping the witch up in his arms the carpenter headed for the hall.
"Xander," Willow giggled weakly, "I can walk."
"Oh just lay back and enjoy the pampering Will. I give it to all my girls with near death experiences." The young man's voice cracked slightly, he was still far from unshaken.
Willow reached out to gently touch her friends face feeling a small pang of guilt. Poor Xander who had lost so much, how could she have considered leaving him? "Oh god Will, I don't know what I would have done if a had lost you too."
"You won't Xander, I promise. I'm gonna be fine."
And the young man's shoulders finally shook, sliding to the hard wood floor of the hall, Willow holding him as he cried.
Back in the living room Buffy saw the last of the Coven members out, calling her final thank yous as the weary women headed to their rest. Turning back to the tired faces of her sister and Watcher she let out a weary sigh.
"I know what you're going to say Giles, and before we launch into a Slayer Watcher debate can I at least get this fixed."
The Slayer held up her palm where the a nasty circular burn was bubbled across the callused skin. It was only just now beginning to pain her.
Dawn looked at it with wide eyes. "I'll go get the first aid kit." She volunteered, eager to escape the tension in the room. "Come on Andrew." Towing the curious young man behind her she hurried towards the bathroom.
Glancing towards the ceiling, Buffy began her litany, not giving Giles a chance to speak.
"Yes it's really Spike. Yes he's chained up. No He's not a danger. NO, I am not going to give him to the Council."
"I wouldn't dream of suggesting it." Giles said mildly. "Did he show any sign of recognition."
"No." Buffy swallowed. "He didn't wake up."
"Ah." The Watcher looked at the floor. "Are you willing to tell me what happened in there." He asked, gesturing to the cracked pentagram on the floor.
"It was.... intense. And private."
"Of course." It came out as a resigned sigh.
"I've got the first aid kit." Dawn announced pulling Buffy over to her the young girl sat on the sofa and began a businesslike cleaning and bandaging of her sister's wound.
"Where's Andrew?" Buffy questioned absently.
"He mentioned that everyone must be hungry, he's cooking dinner."
Giles smiled slightly, practicality seemed to enter the young man at the strangest times.
There was a creak of floorboards and Xander's tired form dragged into the room and slumped on the floor beside Dawn.
"How's Willow."
"She's okay. She's sleeping. Apparently those near death experiences are awfully tiring."
Buffy felt her guilt motor rev again. "I guess you must be pretty mad at me."
"I am, but I get. You do what you have to do." Xander shifted for a moment, "Did you, where you where, did you see..."
"No Xander, I'm sorry. It wasn't–she wasn't there."
With a half smile the young man nodded, gratefully returning Dawn's hug.
"Buffy," Giles began, "I think we really need to discuss whether–"
"No." The blonde began pacing. "We are not discussing this. It's Spike and he's staying here."
"Buffy while I agree that it undoubtedly looks like Spike, the behavior he exhibited earlier was dangerous and uncontrolled. Andrew was very lucky that Dawn has your reflexes."
"Giles. He was scared and disoriented, he was just yanked out of another dimension. He's been dead for months. We need to give him some time."
"We may not have very much time Buffy, and if he is unable to fulfill his role....We have to be prepared for the fact that all that was brought back is a demon."
"No." Buffy shook her head, ignoring Dawn and Xander who were sitting silent on the sofa, their eyes pin ponging back and forth between the two protagonists. "He's Spike. He'sin--shockand he must be starving, I'm going to go bring him some blood."
"Buffy considering the circumstances perhaps it would be wise not to re-from any strong attachments."
"Attachments." Buffy repeated incredulously. "Giles he's hurt and confused."
"And feral and dangerous." Giles snapped.
"And I don't want him to wake up alone." Buffy finished firmly, glaring at her Watcher.
A roar echoed from below, shattering the tension thick air in the room. Buffy's head whipped up at the sound. "I'm going down to him." She stated heading for the cellar stairs.
"Buffy you are acting rashly!" Giles huffed in complete frustration, "Listen to him. He won't recognize you, hewon't recognize anyone. His demon has completely taken control, we don't know if his soul is still there, we don't know if any other part of him made it back."
"I'm going down to him." Buffy repeated, turning and disappearing down the stairs. Giles whipped off his glasses pressing the heel of his palm to his aching forehead, he slumped into a chair.
"Giles–" Xander began anxiously.
"Oh let her go Xander." Giles sighed, ignoring the younger Summer's intense glare. "She'll never listen to us. She never has where he's concerned."
Damn damn damn! The ex-Watcher thought to himself. Why him? Why Spike? Of all the Champions in all the world..... Giles sighed. He was definitely getting a migraine.
Buffy padded silently down the stairs, the soles of her shoes making tiny crunching noises on the cement steps, it was enough to alert the occupant. The Slayer rounded the corner and found herself faced with a pair of burning golden eyes as the blonde vampire roared, lunging against his chains to be jerked up sharply and fall on his behind with a thud. He was up again immediately, sitting back on his heels in predator's crouch, taught muscles rippling beneath his pale skin. He emitted a low growl that sent shivers up Buffy's spine, his pale torso shone in the dim light of the cellar, empty, except for the stone walls and dirt floor, the clink of the chains was the only sound as the vampire moved, that, and Buffy's muted breathing.
Spike growled softly. A niggling familiar smell invading his nostrils.
Who was this shining creature that walked towards him? He could see the pulse in her throat, the rapid pounding of her heartbeat. The blood was singing through the veins beneath her golden skin, most of which lay exposed by the thin strappy covering she wore on her upper half.
Blood!
The command screamed through the vampire's system.He lunged for her again only to howl as his arm was twisted by one of the chains and he tripped to sprawl before her. Spike whimpered in frustration as his hands clawed at the bare earth of the cellar floor. Buffy felt tears prick her eyes as she watched him, he looked so desperate, so lost. Had she brought him back only to reduce him to this?
"Spike." She called softly, "Can you understand me?"
She saw the muscles in his back twitch at the sound of her voice. Cautiously she took a step towards him and immediately he scrambled into the corner, wrapping his arms around his legs and snarling deep in his throat. Buffy took a deep breath and took another small step, an idea occurred to her with sudden sharp clarity, opening her mouth she began to sing.
"Early one morning, just as the sun was rising...." Her voice sounded thin and tuneless, falling dully into the cold air. Buffy swallowed hard, how could she think this was going to work? She dared a glance in Spike's direction and saw that he was watching her intently through narrowed eyes. The silence in the room made her throat feel thick, but the blonde gamely continued."I h-heard a fair maid singing in a valley down below." Feeling hope blooming slightly in her chest Buffy kept up her song as she continued her cautious approach. "Oh don't deceive me, Oh never leave me." She was within range of the chains now and he still hadn't moved, she watched in disbelief as his arms relaxed to slide to floor by his feet. "Oh how, could you use, a, poor maiden so." Buffy was in front of him now. She slowly sank down on one knee before him, looking into the yellow devil eyes that stared back at her in wide bewilderment.
"Spike. Its me. Buffy. I'm your–" She swallowed as he shifted slightly, nostrils flaring as he took in her scent. "I'm–"
Her words stuck in her throat as she found herslf suddenly pinned to the wall, strong hands pressing into her shoulders.The blonde willed herself to remain still asthe vampireleaned forward to sniff her shoulder, the slight brush of his nose against her skin sending familiar tingles through her body.
She smelled nice, Spike decided. Comforting. Warm, sweet, alive, powerful.
There was power in her, thrumming through her veins. Her neck was very close to him, he could hear its pulse echoing in his ears, but he wasn't supposed to bite her.
He remembered that.
He wasn't ever supposed to bite her.
Spike frowned. Her face was wet. Curiously he reached out a finger to touch the moisture on her soft cheek, cocking his head to the side in confusion. Why were her cheeks wet? Clumsily his fingers traced over her face, trailing sluggishly through a lock of golden silk, he nuzzled briefly against her hair, once more inhaling her scent, before sitting back on his heels to stare at this strange person, his finger idly tracing the throbbing vein on her neck.
Buffy stared at the vampire before her, trembling under his touch. His head was cocked to one side, a gesture that was so completely Spike that she almost couldn't believe he wasn't in there. Spike's other hand reached out to touch her tears again, he seemed fascinated by them, the small woman gasped as his tongue darted out to lap at the salty moisture on her cheek, then he sat back again, watching her once more. Carefully Buffy reached out her hand to cup his cheek, heart fluttering as Spike immediately nuzzled his face into her palm, sniffing at the bandage on her hand, he butted at it slightly with his nose, looking at her with a question on his face. Pulling back he lifted his own palm, tapping it lightly against hers, his eyes narrowed as if he was trying to remember something. Buffy held her breath, but the moment passed, and with a low growl the vampire once more bumped his face against her palm.
"You want to see?" Buffy questioned confusedly, holding up her hand. "Spike, you want to see my burn?"
Slowly Spike leaned forward and delicately sliced through the bandage on her hand with his teeth, nudging it aside with his nose he began lapping gently at the wound. Buffy watched in fascination as he diligently cleaned the large angry burn, then inhaled sharply as he moved upwards. Trailing his tongue across her arm, her shoulder, her neck, where he stopped. A wave of tenderness washed over the Slayer as Spike laid his head on her lap where he nuzzled his face into her stomach, causing Buffy to let out a surprised giggle. The Vampire looked at her startled, then he experimentally nudged his head against her stomach seeing if she'd make the noise again. This time Buffy couldn't help it and let out a full throated laugh. God it felt good to laugh. Spike's head shot up in surprise just as his stomach simultaneously let out a large growl.
"Oh, you're hungry, right." Buffy mentally scolded herself. How could she have forgotten?
Well he got all distracting what with the nuzzling and the tonguing and the–
"I'll go get you some blood." The blonde said quickly, rising quickly to her feet and heading towards the cellar stairs. Immediately Spike scrambled in front of her whining low in his throat.
"Spike, it's okay. I'm coming back. I'm going to get you some food." The vampire shook his head vehemently, still blocking her path. Sighing Buffy placed a light kiss on his forehead. "Don't worry, I won't leave you. I won't ever leave you ."
Buffy lay awake in her bed, the soft English mist of eveingsurrounded the small cottage in a blanket of damp silence, yet she found herself unable to sleep, far too many thoughts were churning in her head. It had been a week since Spike returned to them, or at least his body had, none of the Scoobies knew if his mind or soul had returned with him as well. Willow was apologetic but Buffy told her not to be silly. As usual the small blonde stubbornly refused to hear any thoughts that Spike wouldn't improve, and as usual she silently took all the blame upon herself. The small woman shifted under the quilts. Willow was different since the spell. Not in bad way, she seemed....serene. Peaceful, in way Buffy had never quite seen her. Occasionally Buffy would find her staring into space with an odd half smile on her face; a soft happy look the Slayer hadn't seen since Willow and Tara were last together. Buffy sighed, snuggling deeper into her warm covers Spike still remained in the basement, though she had tried to fix it into a more comfortable room for him, tacking cloth over the single window and supplying the curious inhabitant with bedding. Dawn had helped her, the young girl being the only other person that Spike allowed near him. Willow made him nervous, anyone else he seemed to look on as food, and any other males, well, forget it. The blonde vampire would freak out if he even heard them on the stairs. Buffy had to be very careful not have close physical contact with Xander or Giles before going down to the basement unless she wanted to be subjected to a vigorous cleaning from Spike. Spike. Her eyelids grew heavy,what was she going to do about Spike?
"What have you learned?"
"What?"The Slayer glanced up startled, she was getting awfully tired of these dreams.
She was in the desert again, kneeling in the sand. Her right hand clutched a trowel as she pottered amidst the sprawling patch of green shoots before her.
The tweed suited Watcher before her tapped his clip board impatiently with a pencil.
"Really Buffy." Giles scoffed, "We haven't an enormous amount of time."
"I'm trying you know." The Slayer pouted at him, " It's not like it's being spelled out."
"Buffy," Giles looked at her reprovingly. "I'd thought you would have learned the language by now."
"Giles go away." Buffy muttered irately. "I don't need to be supervised, stop watching me."
The watcher looked at her with wide eyes as the clipboard vanished from his hands.
"What am I supposed to see now Buffy?" Abruptly he winked out. Buffy didn't notice, her full attention focused on the sand.
"That won't make them grow."
Wide hazel eyes glanced up to see a Jenny Calendar staring down at her with curious green eyes. Her dark hair ended just past her ears and she was dressed in a soft gauzy skirt and top. Her neck leaned at an odd angle. The Slayer looked down at the small castle she was currently building out of the sand, it's towers and half formed shape rearing above the struggling green plants.
"They don't need a gardener." She retorted. "They're strong. Besides, I hate getting dirty."
"Yes, I know." Giles' lost love replied calmly.
Looking down at her hands Buffy saw they were red with dried blood, an ugly rust brown that streaked up her arms and crusted under her nails. "Will it ever come off?" she asked. Looking up she saw Anya and Tara standing next to Jenny, their heads were cocked to one side, watching her. Tara's blue shirt was marred with blood over the heart and Anya bore a wicked slash across her body. Buffy felt her lip quiver as she looked at them."It wasn't my fault."
The two women looked at each other, then glanced at the young girl with the narrow red streaked face who walked up behind them.
"No it wasn't." Amanda said calmly, reaching up a thin finger to touch the blood on her face. "But it still got on your hands."
The Slayer looked down with a dismay to see a young seedling being swamped by the sand, raising her trowel above her head she moved to dig it free.
"No." Buffy looked curiously at Tara's soft voice. The trowel in her hand had become a scythe, glinting coldly under the hot desert sun. The gentle Wiccan smiled sadly at Buffy, "That won't help them grow."
Abruptly the dead women were gone, and so was the sun. A full moon rose, gilding the sands with a silver sheen. Every rock and dune of sand, every twisted tree shone with a muted radiance.
"It's beautiful." The Slayer whispered in awe.
"That it is luv." A low husky voice whispered in her ear. "Can you feel it? The night, singing to you?"
"Spike?" Buffy glanced avidly in very direction, to met only with the night time landscape."Spike where are you."
Glancing to her right she saw her sand castle. It loomed huge and dark against the sky, it casting a shadow over the sleeping seedlings. Walking up to its dark entrance the Slayer trailed a curious hand over the doorway feeling the sand crumble beneath her fingers, she stepped inside. It was a round bare room with multiple hallways leading off into darkness.
"Spike where are you?" Buffy whispered. "You're supposed to show me how it works."
A door opened to her left, revealing a bare room where moonlight streamed in the high arched window. Spike was crouched on the floor illuminated by the smoky beams, his hand played through the moonlight, making shadows on the wall.
"Spike what are you doing here. We have things to do."
The vampire glanced up at the window. "It sees you know. The moon. It sees everything."
"Spike we don't have time for this, come on."
"I can't get out pet."
"But the doors right her." Turning to look at it from the vampires angle she saw a complicated labyrinth of lines leading to the door.
Spike shook his head at her. "I can't step out of line."
"Spike what's wrong? What happened?"
"What do you think happened you stupid bint. You shattered my death." A snarling swaggering Spike stood next to her.
"All in pieces, all in pieces." A shirtless Spike was now rocking in the patch of moonlight clawing at it with worried hands.
The Sneering Spike scoffed at her. "You really thought it would all be that easy."
Another Spike appeared next to him, his head thrown back, laughing, a bottle clenched in his fist.
"Seems we've got a bit of a problem."
Buffy gasped in relief. This was the Spike she new, standing next her with rueful and a slightly tired face. Sighing contentedly Buffy grasped his hand.
"The key to life,
The key to death,
The key to warmth and light and breath.
For the anchor that holds you safe in the flood;
Release him through the gift of.....Oh dear, how to end it? A proper finish is very important you see."A young man with honey colored hair peered at Buffy anxiously through his spectacles.
"William?" Buffy let go of the cool hand grasping hers, to reach for the man before her. The poet continue to stare at the scrap of paper in his hand. "
Or perhaps it's the beginning that's the problem...." He looked up at the Slayer in annoyance. "Well now you've let it go."
Looking round in surprise Buffy realized Spike was now across the room from her, confronting a snarling countenance of himself. The Sneering Spike leered at her sending his fist crashing into the his counterpart's face.
"Are you sure this is what you want?"
"What's happening?!" Buffy yelled.
The Spikewho was crouched in the moonlight corner, continued rocking back and forth.
"Flesh, am I flesh to you? Am I flesh?"Reaching up the vampire slashed himself across the chest then stood and snapped the Laughing Spikes neck. "Flesh then, solid through." Looking up at the multitude around him Spike turned bewildered eyes to the horrified Slayer. "Buffy which one is me?"
The Slayer sat straight up in bed, her eyes searching the shadows of her room. What had woken her? She then froze as a prickle went up her spine, someone was in the house. Slipping from the warm embrace of her covers Buffy padded noiselessly out into the hall, she was halfway down the stairs when the silence of the house was shattered by a loud yowl. Swearing under her breath the Slayer made a beeline for the cellar, if Spike kept that racket up he was going to wake the whole house. Halfway across the kitchen Buffy froze, there was shadowy form at the top of the cellar stairs peering down into the darkness. Too tall for Willow, too slight to be Dawn. Loud growls were emanating from the basement, Spike had obviously sensed the intruder too. Creeping silently up behind the figure, the Slayer lashed out her foot in quick brutal kick. The intruder turned at the last minute catching Buffy's foot in a vise like grip, she barely caught the lightning fast punch aimed at her face, wincing as her assailant's spiky jewelry cut into her arm.. The two combatants froze as a roar emanated from below.
"Jesus." Buffy heard her attacker mutter. The Slayer blinked.
"Faith?" She asked tentatively.
"B?" A familiar voice responded.
Buffy smiled in darkness, releasing the fist she was gripping as Faith did the same to her foot. Now that her eyes had adjusted she could see the form of the tough brunette dressed in a creaking leather jacket and jeans, the shadowy lump of a duffel bag lay on the floor where the other Slayer had apparently tossed it.
"Way to go with the reflexes," Buffy grinned, "good to see you haven't lost your edge."
The other Slayer snorted placing her hands on her hips. "Oh yeah, like I could—"
Another low growl cut across her comeback. Buffy swore lightly under her breath.
"Damn B." Faith asked curiously, "what the hell do you have down there?"
Buffy sighed. "Stay here okay?" When the brunette moved to protest Buffy shook her head. "It's not a problem, it's a....houseguest. Trust me, it will only get louder if you come down with me and I really don't want to wake the whole house."
"Okay then." The brunette held up her hands in surrender. "I'll just stay up here and raid your fridge."
Buffy smiled. "Just don't touch any containers with a "do not eat" sign. The wrath of Andrew is a terrible thing." Faith's chuckles followed her down the stairs.
"Spike?' Buffy called softly into the gloom, there was a clink of chains and Buffy was suddenly subject to a thorough nuzzling as the vampire checked her over for wounds, sniffing at the new scent on her skin.
"Everything's fine now Spike. I'm fine." Buffy soothed. "Go back to sleep."
Obediently the vampire prowled back over to his nest of quilts, pulling on Buffy's arm expectantly. She peered at Spike closely, he still hadn't moved from his vamp face. Was he in there? Hearing rummaging noises from upstairs Buffy sighed, it would have to wait until tomorrow.
"No Spike," she said patiently, "I can't stay with you. I have to go visit with Faith, she would be the new smell." The vampire growled. "She's a friendly new smell." Buffy stated, rolling her eyes at her choice of wording.
A friendly smell. And I turned down a date with Tom, the nice bartender.
"Please go back to sleep Spike. I'll see you tomorrow." Making grumbling noises in his throat in what Buffy would swear was a demon's equivalent of a snark, the Vampire obeyed.
"So," Faith quipped when Buffy entered the kitchen. "How did you get the Rancor in your basement?" The one time rogue Slayer was sitting on the kitchen counter, her boot heels clunking slightly against the white cabinets as she rifled through a box of cookies.
Buffy rolled her eyes, "It's a long story and—What's a Rancor?"
Faith raised her eyebrows. "Big monster, from a Star Wars movie, growled a lot. Geeze Buffy, you're living with Andrew and you missed a Star Wars reference?"
"Gee my bad." Buffy smiled dryly, "so what brings you here? Not that it isn't good to see you, unannounced, as usual."
"I just need to crash here for a few days B." Faith replied shifting on the counter top and running her hand nervously through her hair.
"Where's Robin?" Buffy asked. "Last I heard you were in France.....or something."
"That son of a bitch." Faith muttered darkly. She pulled out a cigarette, stared at it, and surprisingly tossed it away without lighting it. She suddenly jumped up. "He's not here is he?"
"No. He's not here. Faith what's up? Is cutting back making you jumpy-er, or is something really wrong?"
"Just need to regroup here for a while." Faith muttered. "I got trouble B."
"Please don't say it's an apocalypse," Said Buffy with asperity, "because you may have to get in line."
"Huh, might as well be." The brunette said, then seeing Buffy's worried frown. "No it's not. Just can't let that bastard catch up with me."
Robin Thought Buffy. Damn
She had really hoped things would work out between those two. He was good for Faith, he made her smile, made her laugh. And in some strange way Faith seemed to be good for him too. Things had seemed great when she had seen them briefly a few months ago and it had warmed Buffy's heart to see Faith so happy. Of course she had been half prepared for this but–Damn
"What happened Faith." She asked resignedly.
"Happened? Nothing happened." Faith was on the defensive. "Things are just a little wound up right now."
"I mean what happened to Robin." Buffy sighed. Then stopped, feeling cold. "Did, something happen to Robin?" She asked worriedly, knowing it would be just like Faith not to say anything.
"To him?" The brunette snorted, "Oh no, he's fine. Five by Five, livin it large." The last was said with heavy irony. "Or at least he was when I left."
"You left." Buffy sighed "You left him. Why?" Buffy asked, "I mean, I'm sure it's weird to be in real relation ship for the first time and scary but–"
"Oh for fuck's sake B I don't need a friken marriage councillor." Faith snapped, her eyes then shifted to an unreadable expression Buffy had never seen before, "Might need a doctor though."
Buffy blinked, nonplused. "Faith.......What? I mean, there is something wrong? Cause you're being really confusing and I don't—"
"I'm pregnant B. The sonofabitch got me pregnant."
There was a brief moment of silence as Buffy stared at her sister in arms in the muted light of the kitchen. "You're what!?"
"Yeah," Faith smirked tiredly. Her eyes half amused. "Like some kind of fucking cosmic joke isn't it."
"Wow, um, I mean....wow." Buffy shook her head, trying to absorb the information. "Does Robin know?"
"No!" Faith said harshly. "I took off as soon as I found out, I mean what the hell was I supposed to do."
"Faith he should know."
"No! I don't even know what to do. I can't have a baby! I don't—" Tears leaked out of the brunette's and she brushed them away with a rough hand. "Oh Christ I'm so scared B."
Buffy stood somewhat at a loss as Faith broke down into tears before her. If it were any other person she would reach out, try to hold them. But this was Faith. Faith and she didn't do touchy feely. She also couldn't help but force down a tiny bit of jealousy. A child, a baby. Something she would never have. Tentatively she reached out and put her hand on the young woman's shoulder. When she wasn't re-buffed she carefully wrapped her arms around Faith's shaking shoulders.
"Faith I'm not sure, I mean this isn't exactly my area of expertise either. But you can stay here, as long as you need to. And I'll do whatever I can."
The brunette sniffled wetly. "I'm a piece of work huh? Faith The Vampire Slayer slash Psycho Con is knocked up. I'm wonder what the little squirt did wrong in it's last life to get stuck with me."
"Faith." Buffy admonished, slightly shocked.
"I know." The other Slayer sniffed, "I'm sorry, it's just all too much you know?"
"I think you're exhausted." Buffy said evenly, "and it's definitely a bedtime time of night. Why don't you go on up to my room. I'll take the couch."
"C'mon B. Like I didn't spend enough time in your bed the last time I showed up. I'm pregnant not made of fucking glass."
"You're taking it." Buffy enunciated firmly. "Besides, do you really want to deal with Andrew in the morning."
That got her a watery smile. "You win." Faith's brown eyes softened for a moment. "I'm pregnant." She said softly. "Tonight was the first time I said it out loud, feels kinda weird ya know?"
Buffy lowered her eyes. "Not really. My bedroom's up the stairs, first door on your left."
"Right." Faith stood, shouldering her bag. She paused halway through the doorway, muted light from the porch lighting her in a soft glow. "And B, thanks."
When the kitchen was once again empty Buffy slumped against the counter, burying her tired face in hands.
And could this get any more complicated? Glancing nervously around the silent room the Slayer winced. Let's just forget I thought that.
Sighing the Slayer reached out for a dishrag, dabbing gingerly at the cut on her wrist left by Faiths choice in wrist jewelry, she winced as the blood stained the floral pattern red. Suddenly her head snapped up, eyes going wide, as they turned to the basement door. "Because it's always gotta be blood." She whispered to the darkness.
Blue bars of moonlight fell across the sleeping vampire lighting him in an eery radiance, it caressed his form, the play of shadow and light bringing the hard planes of his body and face into high relief. For a moment Buffy froze, wondering if hereally wasjust the play of moonlight and shadow, then the vampire grumbled and twitched in his sleep, idly scratching at his stomach, and Buffy laughed softly at her silliness, stepping closer to his form.
"Spike." Buffy whispered softly. Immediately a pair of glowing yellow eyes were riveted upon her. Chains clinked lightly as Spike moved into a crouch, his posture coiled and strong. Buffy felt a momentary surge of fear, was she crazy? Going down alone in the dark to offer the monster in the basement her neck? Looking into the expectant golden eyes before Buffy realized that she had made her decision a long time ago, accepted Spike, and everything that went with him. Breathing deeply she knelt before the curious vampire, clinging to the memory of the way her blood seemed to have woken him last year from his demonic state. Slowly she reached up and brushed her hair back from her shoulders, keeping her eyes locked with his she tilted her head to the side, deliberately baring her neck to him. He snorted softly, then hesitated glowing eyes confused.
"It's alright Spike." Buffy said quietly. "Drink." Closing her eyes she braced herself for the pain of what was to come remembering the savagery of when Angel had bitten into her. With surprise she felt Spike's hand gently cup the side of her headrunning his fingers through her hair she started slightly as the vampire let out a strange gravely chirpthen shuddered as she felt a slight sting and he slowly slid his fangs into her, gently sucking at her neck with his lips. Buffy trembled, her arms coming up to clutch the hard muscles of his shoulders as delicious dizzying feelings built slowly within her core until she cried out, collapsing bonelessly against Spike's hard chest, as waves of bliss pounded through her. There was a strangled gasp, and Buffy felt her euphoric state quickly dissipating as the cool planes of the chest she rested against began to rise and fall. Slowly lifting her head she found herself looking into a pair of shocked blue eyes, and smooth human face.
"Spike?" Buffy whispered.
"Buffy."
A choked gigglesob escaped the Slayer's throat. "Spike." She smiled, reaching out to touch his face.
He flinched back from touch her eyes wide in his face. "What–what did you do?"
Buffy dropped her hand, her heart dropping with it. He was Spike yes, but how could he ever forgive her for what she'd done? "I brought you back Spike. I'm sorry, but I brought you back." She tried to keep the tears from her voice.
Blue eyes filled with anguish locked with hers. "Why?"
"I had to."
The vampire nodded slowly rising shakily to his feet and turning towards the corner where he stared blankly at the earth wall. "Why?" He whispered huskily.
Buffy bit her lip for a moment. "I need your help."
The vampire slumped. "Another fight?" Buffy nodded imperceptibly as she pulled herself to her feet.
Spike heaved a sigh, squaring his shoulders as felt the strength from her blood beginning to course through him. "Right then, back to business."
There was a lump of lead in Buffy's chest. "Yeah." she said in as businesslike a manner as she could. Business, right. This is all about business.
The vampire remained staring at the wall as he heard her footsteps begin to move towards the stairs. Life or un-life, seemed as bleak as the bare earth walls. He was tired, so tired, so--
"Can you ever forgive me?" The soft query surprised both of them. Spike turned to see Buffy staring at him, her arms hugged tightly around her own waist, green eyes bright with threatening tears. She immediately looked down. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. It wasn't fair and you have every right to be—"
She was cut off by Spikes arms wrapping tightly around her, almost squeezing the breath from her body, she let out a whoosh of air, barely daring to move at the wonderful and slightly surreal feeling. Spike sighed, feeling her warmth seep into his cold skin, the softness of her trembling form in his arms. "Nah then luv none of that, s'not so bad. It'll just take some getting used to is all. Course I forgive you. You do what you have to do."
Buffy shivered in his arms as she felt their body temperatures begin to mingle."I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry"she whispered into his chest.
Spike sighed again without breath, inhaling the scent of her hair. Back again. Back again to fight the fight, for her. He'd do it again, ask nothing in return, maybe the third time would be the charm and he's get some rest at last. The last thought made him chuckle. "We're even now you see, three times around for you, three times for me."
Buffy almost smiled, but guilt still has her firmly in its grip. "But you wanted to rest." She mumbled, hating herself for how needy she still sounded.
"I did rest." Spike responded, beginning to feel slightly giddy as the scents and sounds of life began to drift across his senses. "Had a nice long holiday." He grinned against her hair, Buffy was in his arms, there was another bonus "Now m'back. Besides, I was gettin bored." he stated, realizing it was the truth.
The last comment, was so intrinsically Spike, that Buffy smiled against his chest, and burst into tears. Spike blinked as her arms suddenly threw themselves around his waist in a crushing grip, her hands roaming over every inch of his bare back in a way that made him swallow hard.
"Buffy..." Spike began, a bit of strain coming into his voice as her ministrations began reminding him just how very much back in the flesh he was. Her actions stopped abruptly and she clung to him tightly, smiling as he unconsciously responded in kind.
"I missed you." Her watery voice whispered next to his ear. "I missed you."
Tears came to the vampire's eyes, without think he pressed his lips against her temple as one hand lovingly stroked her golden hair. "Ah pet, I missed you too."
Pulling back Buffy looked deep into the blue of his eyes. "Spike I......I'll get you some clothes."
The vampire opened his mouth as if to protest, then clamped it shut, giving her a nod and a smile. "You do that pet. Don't really feel like makin my grand entrance in the Whelp's slouchy pants.
The Slayer gave him a grateful look that warmed his heart. "Alright just don't..." she trailed off biting her lip and looking suddenly embarrassed. This time Spikes smile reached all the way to his eyes. "Go ahead pet. I'll still be here when you get back. Not going anywhere."
Buffy fought the urge to tear up again. He always knew. With a great force of will she resisted the urge to throw herself back into his arms, instead she let one hand reach out and linger on his cheek, before turning and walking briskly towards the stairs. The vampire watched her go, a slow grin forming on his lips. When he was sure she was out of earshot he let out a whoop, chuckling madly to himself as he felt her blood suffusing his veins with life. "And I guess schools back in session." He murmured to himself, eyes trained expectantly on the stairs, waiting for his love's return.
I hope that wasn't too mushy. Yeah Spike could have been all angsty, but honestly, didn't we get enough of that in season six? Besides he's always been resilient. This is the last of my pre-written chapters so there might be longer wait between posts from now on, but don't worry. Keep up those awesome reviews y'all have been posting and I'm sure my muse will be quite content to stay with me.