AN: Thanks for the readers that are still following this. Next chapter should be the funeral if all goes well. That doesn't sound too good...anyway.
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Sandy was talking on his phone when they emerged from the apartment building. He saw Seth carrying a box and knew that something had happened. His son wouldn't be caught dead doing any lifting. Luke was walking in front of Ryan and when he finally caught sight of Ryan, he lost his breath.
"I'm going to have to call you back," Sandy told the florist and hung up, stepping out of the SUV. "What happened? Did he…"
"Whoa, Dad, just slow down," Seth blocked his way.
"No, he's bleeding and…" Sandy started.
"Not my blood," Ryan muttered. "It's okay, Seth." He kept his eyes locked on his feet, but Sandy could see the pulsing rage behind his eyes.
"You attacked him?" Sandy asked after studying him. He wasn't as good as Seth at reading Ryan but he was getting there.
"He fucking deserved it…" Ryan muttered.
"We're leaving," Sandy said tersely. Ryan started to get into the back seat but Sandy shook his head. "You get shotgun. There're napkins in the glovebox for you to do a little clean up before we get back to Newport. We'll pull over somewhere closer to home."
Ryan nodded and climbed into the Rover.
"So. Who wants to tell me what happened?" Sandy asked once they made it to the freeway. The SUV was painfully silent.
"I lost it. I'm sorry," Ryan said finally.
"I need a little more detail, Ryan. Seth?"
"AJ's an ass," Seth replied.
"Well, thank you for that wonderful description, son, but…" Sandy started, getting angry at the lack of communication.
"I asked them to give me a few minutes alone with AJ and they did. It's not their fault. He pissed me off and I lost my temper. I sort of…attacked him. So the big guys, they pulled me off and Seth and Luke were getting me out of there…but he started talking shit…and I went after him again."
Sandy sighed. Ryan hadn't looked at him while he was talking, but Sandy knew that he was remorseful. Not for attacking AJ, but for losing his cool. He'd been pushing down his feelings for days but today, they had come through.
"Ryan…" Sandy sighed. "If he presses charges…"
"Fuck, your probation," Luke realized.
"The security guys took care of it," Seth said immediately. "They said he wouldn't press charges."
"You're going to have to explain this to Kirsten. She's going to kill me for not going in with you…" Sandy muttered.
"You couldn't have stopped him, he was a man on a mission," Luke replied. Seth shoved him.
"I'm sorry, Sandy," Ryan said quietly.
"I know. You're going to be even sorrier once we get home," Sandy sighed.
The SUV lapsed into silence.
"Dude…can I look at your pictures?" Seth asked finally.
Ryan shrugged and Seth took it as permission.
"Dude, you were always short," Luke laughed.
Sandy glanced at Ryan. "She had pictures?"
"I didn't know. AJ had them. A couple of albums. I figured I'd give them to Trey," Ryan said. He was leaning against the window with his eyes closed.
"You didn't look through them?"
"I don't care," Ryan mumbled. He didn't open his eyes.
Luke pulled out a photo and held it over Sandy's shoulder in his line of sight. It was a picture of Ryan in a little league uniform when he was about eight.
Sandy took it and put it in his pocket.
"Ouch…man, how'd you break your leg?" Seth asked, flipping through the album.
"Which time?" Ryan sighed.
"Um…never mind," Seth said, catching his father's warning glare.
Sandy caught sight of a convenience store and pulled over. Ryan hopped out immediately, disappearing inside.
"Are you going to ground him?"
"I don't know. We didn't want him to come…but I didn't consider this. I need to talk to Kirsten."
"That AJ guy was totally asking for it," Luke said quietly. "If it makes a difference or anything."
Sandy sighed.
"We tried to stop him Dad…I don't think I've ever seen him that mad…he was really mad," Seth said.
"I'm going to go talk to him. You guys want anything?"
"Nachos," Seth and Luke said in unison. They looked at each other, surprised before breaking into smiles as they all got out of the Rover.
Sandy followed the signs to the bathroom. He stepped in and saw Ryan standing in front of the mirror. He'd pulled his sleeves up and was holding his hands and arms under the sink.
"You okay?"
"Yeah."
"You're lying."
"I know. But it's for your own good."
Sandy walked over and put his hand on Ryan's back. He flinched, almost shuddering. Sandy kept his hand there.
"He's the only person I've ever truly hated. The only person I've ever wished dead. I know my mother wasn't a good mother, but she didn't deserve what happened to her. She deserved a better man than AJ…a better man than Dave…I…I don't know what to do, I don't know how I'm supposed to feel, how I'm supposed to act, it's all just too much…" He whispered in a rush.
"Okay. It's a start, but I'll take it." Sandy turned Ryan until he was facing him. He leaned him against the sink and pulled off a paper towel and started gently cleaning Ryan's bruised face. Ryan closed his eyes and was breathing rapidly.
"Just relax. Breathe and don't think for a few minutes…"
"I…"
"Shh. There'll be plenty of time for talking back at home. Right now I need you to relax," Sandy said soothingly.
Finally, Ryan's breathing seemed to slow and Sandy saw some of the color returning to his face.
"Better?"
He nodded, still not opening his eyes.
"You hurt anywhere else? You're favoring your arm…"
"I'm okay…"
"Ryan."
"My side hurts."
"Let's see." Sandy pulled up his shirt and saw that his side was bruising.
"Nothing's broken. I'm fine."
"What about AJ?"
"He'll be okay. Not for lack of trying, though," Ryan muttered.
"Are you done, now? Is it out of your system?" Sandy asked.
"I'm done."
"You sure?"
"If he comes near me, Sandy…"
"He won't come near you again, Ryan."
"I don't want to be like him…I don't want to hurt anyone…but I really want to hurt him…" Ryan whispered.
"Hey. You won't see him again. I promise."
"You guys okay in here?" Seth stuck his head into the bathroom tentatively.
"Yeah. You ready? You need anything?" Sandy asked, waiting until Ryan walked out first, meeting Seth by the door.
"I'm good."
"You can have some of our nachos, dude. If vacuum Luke over there doesn't eat the whole crate," Seth said.
"I'll be by the Rover," Ryan said, walking out of the store. Sandy and Seth watched him walk out.
"Where the hell is getting those cigarettes from?" Sandy asked when he recognized the puff of smoke from beside the Range Rover.
"Don't ask don't tell," Seth said as Luke joined them.
"Luke? Did you buy him those cigarettes?"
"What? No, smoking sucks. Chino's smoking again?" Luke was genuinely surprised. "Wait 'till I tell the coach, he'll have his ass…"
"You going to get him?" Seth asked his father.
"Hold these. I'll get him," Luke said, shoving his nachos into Seth's hands and leaving the store. Sandy glanced at Seth.
"We better get out there before Luke and Ryan start fighting again," Seth said with a sigh.
"I'm going to get Ryan a soda. Can you referee them?" Sandy asked.
"Sure."
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Kirsten was sitting on the patio with Grace and Graham when they returned. Sandy stepped out first, kissing her on the cheek and taking a seat beside her around the table. He put the photo albums on the table between them.
"Where's Seth and Ryan? Did everything go okay?"
"Not exactly…" Sandy admitted.
"What happened?" Grace asked.
"We were worried about AJ hurting Ryan…we didn't consider that Ryan might…well, he lost his temper…"
"He went after AJ? Sandy, why didn't you…"
"Seth, Luke and the bodyguards went up. I stayed in the car…"
"Sandy, why?" Kirsten gasped.
"Ryan asked me to," Sandy replied quietly. "That man…if I had been up there and he'd said something to him…"
"You don't fight, Sandy…" Kirsten scoffed.
"Ryan asked me to stay. He didn't want me to get upset. And he seemed…fine with Luke and Seth…I didn't think…"
"AJ…Dawn's boyfriend…he's a big guy, isn't he?" Graham asked. Grace leaned over and took one of the photo albums and started looking through it.
"Yeah. Big, mean guy. Luke and Seth said Ryan just lost it…there's a lot of unresolved stuff between them. But he's home now. He won't ever have to go back there again…"
"This is Trey?" Grace asked pointing at a faded picture from the album.
"I've never seen him…he looks like Ryan…" Kirsten remarked.
"They both look like Dawn…" Graham said, focusing his attention on the pictures.
"Where are the boys?"
"Seth's mediating Luke and Ryan. Luke found out Ryan's been sneaking smokes and he's pretty angry about it."
"Why would Luke care?" Kirsten asked.
"Soccer, apparently. And Ryan's health," Sandy shrugged.
"I'm going to go check on him…" Kirsten said, worried.
Grace and Graham were staring at the album with rapt attention.
"Grace? Ryan says this is for you," Sandy said quietly, holding out the locket he'd retrieved from AJ's.
"Oh…she kept it?" Grace gasped.
"Ryan knew where it was. It was one of the things he wanted to go get. He wanted you to have it."
"It was my grandmother's. She gave it to my mom and I gave it to Dawn…I can't believe she kept it…"
"Thank you, Sandy," Graham said.
Kirsten found Seth standing between Ryan and Luke in the kitchen. Luke was glaring at Ryan angrily and Ryan was staring at the floor. "Everything okay in here?"
"Fine," Ryan and Luke said in unison. Seth was a few seconds behind, but he answered, too. "Fine."
"Luke, why don't you and Seth give us a minute…" Kirsten said, putting her hand on Ryan's shoulder and not removing it when he flinched.
"Come on," Seth pulled Luke out of the kitchen.
"Are you all right?"
He looked at her with sad eyes. He opened his mouth to speak, but closed it again.
"Long day?"
He nodded.
"Can I ask you to talk to me?" She asked gently.
"I think I'm officially all talked out…Sandy lectured me, Luke's lectured me and no matter what they think, I feel bad enough about what happened as it is…"
"Have you slept at all, Ryan?"
"I…I can't really sleep."
"You had a long day today. Why don't you go to your room and try and get some sleep?" She softened her tone. "Tomorrow's going to be a rough day, too. You need your rest."
"Okay," He agreed quietly.
"I'll tell Seth and Luke that you're grounded so you won't be disturbed. But I will be out in a few minutes to check on you and bring you something to eat…"
"Thanks," Ryan said, relieved.
"Grace and Graham are outside."
"I'll speak," Ryan nodded.
"You…"
"Kirsten. Thanks. I'm sorry about today…"
"I know, honey," Kirsten said, pulling him into an impromptu hug. "Everything will work out. We'll get through this together. No more handling stuff on your own, okay?"
"Okay." He pulled away, looking better. He took a deep breath. "I better go talk to Grace."
She nodded.
Ryan walked outside and approached the table.
"Ryan. Thank you so much for the necklace…" Grace startled him with an embrace. "If I had known…"
"She would have wanted you to have it, I think. I couldn't just leave it there," Ryan admitted.
"You okay here?" Sandy asked him.
"Yeah. Kirsten's sending me for naptime. I'm okay," Ryan promised.
Sandy nodded and left them. Ryan sat down in his vacated chair.
"Ryan…I know this is hard…but could you tell us about these pictures?" Grace asked. Graham glared at her.
"Mom, he's had a long day…" Graham protested.
"No, it's okay," Ryan said. He gave Graham a once over, suspicious. "I don't mind."
"Really?" Graham raised an eyebrow. Ryan narrowed his eyes.
"Can I ask you something first?" Ryan asked.
"Sure," Graham replied, surprised.
"Cop or shrink?" Ryan asked flatly.
Grace stifled a laugh.
"Excuse me?"
"Are you a cop or a shrink?" Ryan repeated.
"Shrink," Graham answered.
"Okay. Your questions aren't exactly normal questions all the time. I just wanted to know what I was dealing with."
"Fair enough," Graham smiled.
"So. You want a family history with pictures now? You might want to wait and go over these with Trey. He remembers more than I do," Ryan said.
"What about this?"
"That was this play I did in fifth grade. Dawn showed up for the curtain call, that's what you see there," Ryan said.
Kirsten stepped out a few minutes later and was surprised to hear Ryan talking quietly with Graham and Grace.
"Kirsten. Did you know Ryan played little league?" Grace smiled, clearly happy to be hearing about Ryan's past.
"No, he never mentioned it…" Kirsten said with a smile. Ryan was red with embarrassment.
"He's been telling us about the pictures," Grace grinned proudly.
"Oh. That's nice of you, Ryan," Kirsten said. She put her hand on his shoulder. "You were supposed to be lying down."
"Yeah, sorry." Ryan stood up. "I'll talk to you guys later."
"Thanks, Ryan. For the history lesson…and for the necklace. It means a lot," Grace said.
"No problem. I'll see you later." Ryan said. Kirsten walked with him to the poolhouse. "Thanks," He said as they stepped in.
"That was very nice of you. Talking to Grace."
"She's not so bad. She's nice. Graham's a shrink, though…so I'm not really sure how I feel about that," Ryan admitted. "At least he's not interrogating me too much."
"Honey, sit down." Kirsten sat down on the bed and patted it until he sat down. "I want you to lie down."
"I'm not sleepy."
"I think you're more tired than you know."
He sighed. He stretched out as she stood up.
"This really isn't the time…but have you thought about what you're going to do tomorrow?" She asked.
"The funeral."
"Yeah."
"I think…I think I have to go. Grace and Trey…they won't understand why I'm not there…"
"They will understand. If you don't want to go…"
"I don't want to go. I don't think anyone wants to go. It's a funeral," He said quietly.
"True."
"But I need to go. Closure or whatever." His voice was softer.
"Ryan?"
"Hmm?" His breathing had settled into sleep. She covered him with a blanket and let him sleep with his shoes still on.
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"How's he doing?" Sandy stepped into the poolhouse later that evening. Kirsten was keeping watch from the chair by the bed, her laptop open to spreadsheets.
"Sleeping. He hasn't moved since he hit the bed."
"Grace's other son is flying in tonight. She wants him to meet Ryan. He has kids," Sandy said, kissing her as he settled onto the armrest of her chair.
"That's a little much for him, don't you think?" Kirsten asked.
"The funeral tomorrow? Yeah. It is. That's why I'm here. They're going to be staying at the hotel with Graham and Grace. I was thinking we could have brunch here tomorrow before the service."
"Sounds reasonable. How many kids?" Kirsten sighed.
"Twin girls, sixteen. And a son, eighteen. He's going to be going to UCLA in the fall. Grace thinks it'll be good for Ryan to get to know him."
"Instant family," Kirsten muttered.
"I'll take over. Why don't you go inside?" Sandy asked.
"He could've been hurt today."
"He's fine. He's tough. Your guards took good care of him."
"You should've gone in with him, Sandy."
"Hindsight is 20/20," Sandy replied.
Kirsten closed her laptop and stood up. She kissed him on the cheek and left.
Sandy leaned over and started to unlace Ryan's shoes.
"Stop it…sleeping…" Ryan mumbled.
"Just getting your shoes off…" Sandy grinned.
"Sandy?" Ryan sat up as soon as Sandy had dropped his shoes to the floor. "What time is it?"
"Around eight-thirty."
"I've been asleep that long?" He yawned, rubbing his eyes.
"Yeah. You needed it. You hungry?"
"A little. I'll come inside."
"First…let's talk."
"Again? What now?"
"Well, you know how Grace has two sons?" Sandy started.
Ryan nodded his understanding. "I get to meet uncle number 2?"
"Tomorrow morning. There are some cousins coming, too."
"Oh. Cousins?"
"Twin girls, sixteen. And a son, eighteen years old. Grace wants you guys to meet."
Ryan shrugged. "Okay, I guess."
"No pressure…"
"That's what you always say," Ryan grinned.
"Watch it," Sandy joked, nudging him as he got to his feet.
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