Chapter 18:

Renewed Vows

For the next few months, it grew very calm once again. Daichi and Tomaru were out of sight and no new enemies appeared. Over the course of that time, Sarah became a close friend to everyone and she started dating Homoto. Reiko and Toshiro attended a few dates together but weren't yet officially a couple. School became more difficult as the end of the school year was only a short time away. Academics became a big brick in Emochan's life, and she seemed to forget about Daichi and Toma. She knew in her heart that if she didn't get upset they would turn up and she would get her chance. As the seasons changed from winter into spring, Emochan's paranoia and self-loathing slowly began to eat at her. She kept it a secret from the others, not wanting to worry them. She kept her happy, bright outlook as a mask when she was around them.

It was now the beautiful month of March. Flowers were starting to bloom and there was no snow in sight. Romance was in the air all around Japan and Emochan was enjoying it with Toshira. They made plans to go to the annual Plum festival later in the month and Emochan was excited about it. In their spare time, the girls trained. They never knew when Morgana would strike again. They learned all new attacks and tried to master them.

On a sunny Tuesday, the group planned to meet in the park for a picnic. After school, they all met up under some yet-to-be cherry blossom trees. As Sarah and Mai helped Reiko and Sakura set up, Emochan glanced at the trees. "I can't wait until next month when they bloom," she said to Toshira and Toshiro.

"Yeah, cherry blossoms are beautiful," Toshira said.

"I haven't seen them in person yet, but I have read about them and seen them in books and on television," Emochan replied. Toshiro sighed and sat down with the others after they set up. Emochan and Toshira sat down next to Sarah and Sakura. As everyone began to eat, Emochan looked at everyone, a gleam in her eyes. "I have a surprise for you all," she said. The others all looked at her with puzzled expressions. "My mother is getting a three week vacation this summer, and she is getting an already paid trip to America!"

"Sugoi!" Sakura exclaimed.

"That's cool…" Toshira said, a little disappointed. Emochan looked at him.

"Don't worry. I haven't hit the real surprise yet," she said. "She said I could bring you all with me, since her job is paying for the trip. We can consider you all part of my family."

"All of us?" Reiko asked. Emochan nodded.

"Yeah. Mom talked to your parents and they already okayed it. It'll be free and I can show you what America is like."

"Yay! We can see our old street again!" Sakura said.

"Wow, that's so cool!" Mai exclaimed.

"Too bad Homoto isn't here, but he's invited to go too," Emochan said.

"Yeah…where has he been, Toshira? I haven't seen him around much at all lately!" Reiko commented.

"He just got a job at the Crown. Motoki said he needed the extra help and Homoto wanted to make some extra money," Toshira explained.

"I'll tell him about it later when I see him," Sarah smiled.

"To see our old malls again..." Reiko said dreamily and giggled a little.

"It will be nice to see everyone again for a while," Emochan said, taking a bite out of her sandwich.

"We should really make it a goal to try and save Daichi and Toma by then so they can come..." Toshira said. Emochan looked at him for a moment and then looked down.

"Hai...we should..." she said quietly.

Sarah looked at Emochan and then to everyone else. "Have we even heard from them at all lately?"

"No...we haven't..." Mai said.

"Maybe Morgana killed them," Toshiro said matter-of-factly.

"Toshiro!" Reiko exclaimed.

"What? It could be true. Morgana can be a bitch like that," Toshiro replied, receiving glares from everyone but Emochan. Her hands were on her dark-green skirt, balling into fists within the fabric.

"I can't think about it now. I need to focus on my studies more otherwise Mom will kill me. I'll handle Daichi and Toma when I need to," Emochan said, her eyes blank of expression. Toshira looked at her sadly. She finished her food and looked at her watch. Her eyes widened in a flash and she jumped to her feet. "I need to get home! I'll see you guys later!" she said. She started to run off and heard Toshira's voice say that he would walk her home, but she was too fast for him. I can't think about my upcoming battles. I know everyone is worried about me, but I have to be strong. I need to be strong. Emochan thought as she ran towards her house. But I'm not that strong, am I? I can't even protect my brother…

She closed the front door behind her and saw that her mom was sleeping on the couch. She must've gotten out early… she thought. Emochan picked up a blanket and placed it over her mother and watched her for a moment. If I can't get over this fear, I will lose her and everyone else. I need to become stronger. I will. Mom will be proud of me. She thought to herself and lightly kissed her mother's forehead before heading upstairs to her bedroom. Emo turned on her computer and started on her homework. For convenience, she called out for food to have it delivered so her mom wouldn't need to worry about cooking.

It grew dark outside and the stars shined beautifully above the town. Emochan had finished her homework for the afternoon and decided to sit on her balcony. As she gazed at the shining moon above, she began to remember her aunt. A warm breeze made her close her eyes and the image of the Moon Kingdom flashed in her mind. A smile spread on her lips as she watched her aunt and mother walk through one of the many gardens there. "Mom..." Emochan whispered into the air. The happy face of her young mother made her heart ache in shame. A tear fell down her cheek and she opened her eyes. "I...I don't think I can do this..." she said. Her head felt heavy and she walked back into her bedroom. Her tired body fell into her bed and she fell asleep, tears drying on her face.

Emochan took a turn for the worse over the next two weeks. She weaned herself off from activities with her friends. She barely spoke to anyone, never wanted to meet up at Crown with Usagi and the others, never met up to train anymore. Toshira offered to take her on dates as the weather blossomed, but she barely seemed interested in him anymore. The Plum festival became just another thought in her head, as it became engulfed in her stress and self-pity. You're worthless. You can't even find any clues to what happened to Daichi. What kind of princess are you? Even Serenity could do amazing feats. Not you. You're just a worthless human. Everyone is going to hate you.

One afternoon while her mother worked late, Emochan decided to take a walk around Tokyo. The sky was burning with oranges and pinks as the sun began to set. You're not fit enough to fight anyone. You'll get all your friends killed all over again. What a waste. They would be better off without you, her mind kept telling her repeatedly. "I can't take this anymore...."she said. When she returned home, her feet sluggishly climbed the outer stairs to her balcony and she noticed a small knife lying on the wooden boards. The world would be better without you to mess things up.

"The world would be better off, wouldn't it…" Emo whispered as she bent over to pick up the glimmering blade. She pressed the tip of the blade against her finger and winced slightly. She saw a small trail of red run down her finger. It felt warm.

"SERENDIPITY!!!" A voice was screaming in her head and she dropped the knife. When she opened her eyes, she saw a faded image of a dragon's head appear in the glass of her window.

"..Danklezhan?" she said. She heard a groan and saw him nod.

"You must not harm yourself, Princess! I'm sorry I can only be here in spirit for now…but please, as your guardian, I'm begging you not to hurt yourself!"

"Guardian? The hell you're a guardian! I've been needing help since I got my memories back and where have you been?"

"I cannot appear unless you summon me, Princess," His voice boomed in her head. "You unconsciously summoned me with the immense amount of pain in your heart…"

"Guardian or not, I don't want you here. I don't want any of this anymore. It's too much. I'm going to end it." she said.

"But, Princess!"

"GO AWAY! LEAVE ME ALONE!" Emochan shrieked into the night. The image of Danklezhan disappeared as she picked her knife up again.

"Forgive me, Mom," she whispered, her voice shaking a little. She placed the dagger onto her arm and closed her eyes. With a brisk stroke, she felt the sharp blade glide against her skin. She winced in pain and peeked at her arm. Red ooze trailed down her arm and dripped onto the balcony's boards. You're nothing. You can't do anything right. Just end it before you cause any more pain…

Emochan began to feel lightheaded as the scent of iron filled her nose. She took a few steps back and slid the blade against her other arm. The blood was running down her fingers now as the cuts were deeper. Her head felt dizzy as she placed the dagger at her throat. Good luck without me, everyone. She closed her eyes and saw flashes of Christmas, first becoming Sailor Earth, dancing with Toshira at the Festival, and meeting Daichi and Toma and everyone else for the first time. She smiled and prepared herself for the final stroke. She took one last breath, preparing herself.

"What are you doing?!" A voice cried from below. Emochan's hand waivered, her body flinched, and she slipped, not realizing that she was at the edge of the stairs. She whimpered as her body hit the hard wood.

Small thorns seemed to be stabbing at her sides and head when she finally stopped moving. Her eyes were wet when she opened them, seeing green and brown.

Is heaven this cold?

"Emochan?! Are you alright?!" Toshira's muffled voice screamed. The knife was beside her, and she could see a strange smoke float from it.

Why…do I hear his voice?

Emochan felt herself move upwards as Toshira took her into his arms. He saw the blood and gasped. "Oh gods...what happened to you?!" He asked. Emochan saw his face look down at her with sadness.

Toshira…?

"Emochan why would you do such a thing?" Toshira asked. "You need to see a doctor…..so much blood…"

Emochan looked up at him, blank of expression.

"Emochan?! Can you hear me?" He cried out, holding her tightly. Emochan felt warmth at her chest and looked down to see her broach glowing. Suddenly she fell faint and closed her eyes.

A cold breeze woke Emochan up and her eyes fluttered open. She noticed that she was in a ruined version of her long-dead kingdom. She looked down and she was in a gown that she had worn in her previous life. Her dark-blue wings twitched at her back as she stood in confusion. A blue light formed before her and morphed into Queen Serendipity.

"Mother..." Serendipity whimpered, and ran to her mother's arms. The queen placed a hand on her head and the other around her back.

"Do you really doubt yourself so?" The queen asked. Serendipity slowly nodded into the queen's chest. "You mustn't. If you do, you will let the planet fall into Morgana's hands."

"I don't think I can do this anymore...it's too much for me to bare," Serendipity said and let go of the queen, stepping back a little.

"You are the princess of our planet. You possess the great power that will save everyone. You must believe in yourself, otherwise what happens here will happen again."

"But Daichi and Toma are--"

"I know they have been taken by Morgana. But you can save them. You must try and believe in your own strength and the strength of your friends. I know you can defeat Morgana, but you must believe that you can. It is the only way." The queen said. Serendipity thought a moment and sighed. The shame she felt for what she had done was so strong, she could not look her mother in the eyes.

"I know..."

"It's hard, my child. I know. But you must remember that you are not alone in this. Your court is complete…your protectors are here for you. Such is the same with Zecon. He will protect you most of all. You need to believe that you have the power to save the world. I know you have it inside of you."

"Why…why did Danklezhan wait so long to appear to me?" Serendipity glanced at her mother briefly before looking down again.

"Although he is a powerful dragon, he cannot control his powers right now. His spiritual strength was damaged during the great battle long ago. It has been just recently that your awakening power has finally reached him. Within time, he will be able to materialize and aid you more. Do not get upset with him."

"Hai." Serendipity said. Her mother walked over to her and embraced her gently.

"I have faith in you, Serendipity. Good luck," the queen said. A powerful scent of lilac surrounded Serendipity as she closed her eyes, losing herself in her mother's embrace.

Emochan opened her eyes and realized that she was in a hospital bed. Machines were speaking strange languages of beeps and clicks at her side. She turned her head and saw Toshira's worry-stricken face.

"Toshira?" She whispered softly. Toshira's hand felt warm and gentle as it ran down her cheek. "Where am I?"

"The hospital," Homoto said from across the room. "I just got off the phone with your mother. She's on her way."

"Why, Emo….why did you do this?" Toshira asked quietly, as if he was trying to stifle tears. Emochan's eyes lowered.

"I...I was just very upset with myself....I felt like I couldn't handle the pressure of being me."

"Why didn't you say anything to me, or the others?" Toshira asked.

"Because I didn't want to worry you. I felt like everyone would have been better off if I died..."

"Well you know that isn't true," Homoto said. "You're the reason why we're all here."

Emochan nodded as Toshira leaned over and pulled her into a gentle hug. She since as his weight pressed against her arms, which were bandaged. She rubbed his back.

"Don't ever do that again," Toshira demanded.

"I'm sorry…"

"I'll explain what happened to the others. Toshira, you stay here and watch over her until her mom comes," Homoto suggested before leaving the room. There was silence as Emochan feared looking into Toshira's eyes.

"I just can't understand what would bring you to do such a thing…I felt so helpless…" he said and he leaned back into his chair. He took one of her hands and held it in his tightly. Seeing Toshira like this made Emo feel even worse.

"I can't explain it…please don't hate me for this…"

"I could never hate you. But you scared me so much! I thought I would lose you again. I can't bare that. The thought alone pains me." Toshira's voice was very soft.

"I just felt so alone I guess…all this pressure of having to save the world and protect everyone….it was like a heavy weight on me."

"But you don't have to do this by yourself. Like Homoto said, we are all here because of you."

"Remember that you are not alone…" Queen Serendipity's voice sang in Emo's ear for a moment. She placed a hand on top of Toshira's and looked at him.

"Thank you, Toshira. I promise never to scare you again." His face looked like a boy's, making her heart flutter a little inside. After a moment, she finally realized that Homoto had called her mother. "Oh no! What did you tell Mom?!" She exclaimed in worry.

"Don't fret. Homoto told her you took a nasty spill on your stairs. She won't know anything for now, unless you try pulling this again."

"I promise I won't. Could…could you stay with me until she comes?"

"Of course. I'm not leaving your side." Emochan smiled and leaned her head back against the soft pillow it was on.

"Thank you…Toshira…" Emo felt incredibly sleepy and closed her eyes. His lips touched her cheek gently as she fell into a deep sleep. Morgana…I won't let you beat me.