Insanity with a twist

Disclaimer: Nothing of lotr or hp is mine!

Hey.. I'm back.. finally! Anyway hope u like it and enjoy! Oh and thanks soo much for all the lovely reviews.. :)

After that erm, one-sided encounter with Anarrima, the boys proceeded to go check on Laurelin. After all, the great Sirius himself had concocted all those "ingenious" ideas and wouldn't it be a pity to miss any display of their prowess? So, anyway, they were walking towards Laurelin's talen when realized that they were seemingly walking past the same two statues for the past 5 minutes. Two identical statues to be exact- and both eerily glaring daggers at them. Then, as they continued walking on, the statues started to make noises. Finally, only after the statues shouted at the top of their voices, did the group stop walking and turn to face the "statues".

"ARE WE THAT TRANSPARENT THAT YOU IDIOTS COULD NOT NOTICE US AT ALL?!? OR ARE YOU GUYS JUST AS SLOW AS AN ORC!!!" The statues, which currently appeared to be elves sceamed at them. Obviously angry, their nostrils were red and flaring wildly.

Which Sirius of course thought was absolutely hilarious and started laughing, snorting loudly and hitting his head very hard at the same time. Don't really know how he did that, but hey, who cares?

And then, the whole group just had to make everything even worse by saying in unison: "Say What?" Although I think Peter really didn't understand how statues could talk, much less scream their heads off at them.

Which really made the elves even more angry and they looked like they were about to explode from fury. However, one of them quickly calmed down and nudged the other, speaking in hushed tones. Well, technically they were just speaking normally to each other, but then the Marauders didn't exactly have the oh so wonderful elven hearing did they?

Anyway, as I was saying, the other elf had obviously fed him mental medicine or hypnotized him or something, 'cos he quietened down considerably, and was even beaming at them. "Well milords, what do we have here?"

"Hey Remus, I didn't know elves were so stupid that they don't even know what is going on now.." Sirius said in a fake whisper that was so loud even sleeping dwarfs would have heard it.

"Yes I know, isn't that such a sad thing?"

Tired of being ignored by the Marauders, again, the elves both cleared their throats reeeeally loudly.

"Yes my lords?" Sirius and James asked together, batting their eyelashes and grinning seductively at the elves like they had seen all the girls do in the movies. Remus and Peter burst into laughter and the other two pouted and pretended to kiss them which resulted in even more laughter. Even the two elves had to join in. After all, how often is it that they are able to see a comedy act with gay humans? I don't think they even know what 'Last Comic Standing' is!

Then, suddenly snapping out of it, Sirius said, "Wow, isn't the shock totally overwhelming?"

"Ya... it's like.. whoa.. we didn't know twin elves could not only speak together, they can get angry together and clear their throats together!" James then gestured for the twins to come closer and then said into their ears "Hey, then do you guys bathe together too?"

At this comment, one of the twins, the apparently un-hypnotised one as he got angry with them again, turned bright red and was about to punch them really hard until his brother stepped in, literally. He held the other twin and used his butt to keep his brother away from the Marauders and said calmly to them: "I am sorry but you must be mistaken, we are not some commoner," and then he said the next sentence pretty arrogantly "I am Elrohir and this is my brother Elladan", pointing at his butt, oops sorry, the person next to his butt "and we are Elrond's sons." At that point of time, everything was going ok until Elladan foolishly insulted them, again. "Yes, and if you don't show us due respect, you will be kicked out of Rivendell."

"OOoooh... the lords of rivendell eh? So now pretty boy is gonna try and pull rank on us because he aint clever enough in a battle of wits eh? Bring it on then, we are soooooo scared." Remus said teasingly, rolling his eyes. Why on earth did every single elf totally despise and look down on humans? Stupid racial discrimination, after seeing it in action this past few days, it's really starting to get soooo old.

Elrohir did not like this and being the serious one, said warningly "Dan, if Ada finds out about this, knowing him, we will probably be the ones out of Rivendell, not them." But Elladan, being Elladan, of course did not heed his advice, to both of their undoing. (Dramatic Music Playing in the Background)

Then Elladan, being an elf, took their words very literally and said proudly with a tinge of satisfaction, "You should be"

With that, Elrohir then sighed heavily and whacked his head with his hand. This was not going well at all.

Remus also sighed and shook his head. After all, he didn't want to make enemies but at the rate they were going, probably the whole of rivendell would be mad at them when they were finished.

Sirius too was also very anxious to got to Laurelin's talen to view their handiwork and was about to just ask them to leave them alone when a high pitched scream came from the direction of Laurelin's talen.

They clenched their fists, swore loudly and then said in unison: "Now look what you have done!"

To this, the twins just grinned widely and said: "My, my, my. Watch your language boy, and besides, look who's acting like twins now?"

Sirius then grit his teeth and said "Alright! Enough is Enough! Are you guys thinking what I am thinking?" To that, all James could say was "Yup, we are all thinking, how on earth could Sirius ever manage to think?" "I shall ignore you gentlemen, for it is obvious you are mentally unsound and blinded by my genius." He paused for effect for a while and then continued. "Anyway, as I was thinking... ..."

And guess what happened?

The twins suddenly disappeared in a poof of sparkly dust.

And all Sirius could say to that was: "Yes! Thanks a lot Minnie, You totally rock!"

Upon seeing this, all the Marauders could do was gape open-mouthed at Sirius and finally Remus choked on a fly that had obviously thought his mouth was a container with food and said: "For our sanity's sake, we are sooo not gonna ask just what, on earth just happened.

Back on plain old earth, somewhere in Macy's departmental store:

It was Christmas in the United States of America and as usual, macy's was having a special section in the departmental store where little (or big) children could have fun and even ask santa for wishes. On this day, the children were in for a big treat as they not only had one but two santas! The kids swarmed all over the Santas, pulling every single part of the Santa costume that they could find.

However, if you looked closely at the santas and beyond their great big fluffy beards, you'd see that they were identical, and were elves! Why? Well, they were the two unlucky twins of course, I mean, like who else would be able to get transported to Earth against their will and still not knowing what on earth had happened?

Well, time passed very slowly at Macy's, and as the twins found that somehow, they weren't able to move, and they tried to scream but they found no sound came out so they could do nothing but sit there, and talk to the children who for some reason found it extremely interesting to talk to a guy with a white beard with absolutely no taste when it came to clothes. I mean, who on earth walks around dressed in almost all red?

Anyway, as the kids took their turns to talk to the "Santas", the twins found that not all the children were nice and sweet. Some of them, pulled hard at their ears, determined to prove to his friends that they were fake, while some found even more pleasure in yanking their fake beards and letting it go, causing their chins to really really hurt. Others brought a whole gang to attack them, stomping on their feet and spraying whip cream all over their faces, telling the twins that it was good for their complexion, and the twins, who obviously didn't know what in the name of valar was going on, just nodded and smiled. Which obviously caused the kids to laugh even more, after all, how often is it that they get a santa which they can bully and not get in trouble for it?

However, the little kid that the twins disliked the most was a sweet little girl, who unknowingly, sprayed saliva all over their faces when she talked, which almost made them hurl. But then, none of them had the heart to tell her that, they just kept smiling at her. After that, they couldn't even wipe their faces because they couldn't move, so they spent the whole day, looking like their faces got caught in the rain.

However, despite their lack of the ability to move or communicate in a high pitched voice like a girl, they agreed on one thing- They will get their revenge... Muhahahaha (Maniacal Laughter)

You know, if you had watched the whole episode like Minnie did, it sort of looked like a movie called: "101 ways to embarrass a fool!" So, Minnie as usual, got a brilliant idea and videotaped it all. Then, she let them go. After all, they had to return home to get even more embarrassed when the Marauders played the tape in Rivendell- don't they?
Back in Rivendell

As Anarrima walked out of the toilet, still angry but feeling slightly calmer than she had before, she saw the Marauders far away and thought 'Wow, look, it's the human fools again!'. Wondering what they were doing when their rooms were the opposite direction, she decided to catch up, without being seen of course, and see what was going on. When she saw that the twins were talking to the Marauders, she couldn't help but mutter under her breath "Well, dumb and dumber talking, now that's a sight!"

Then, she sat down on the forest floor and watched the show. That was, until she heard Laurelin scream. Upon hearing what ever that guy's name was (Sirius) reaction, she narrowed her eyes. What had they done to Laurelin? Then, when the twins suddenly disappeared, her eyes narrowed to mere slits and was about to rush out and beat the life out of them when she suddenly vaguely remembered them appearing out of thin air. She cracked her knuckles and smiled devilishly to herself- if what she thought was really true, somebody or shall we say some people were soooo going to pay.

And then, she walked off to go and plot.
Ok.. I know that was really short but.. i had a lot of homework to catch up on when i got home and i have this huge project that i have to work on so.. ya.. anyways so if u guys want the next chap up faster i need more reviews or i will seriously not post.. no kidding.. i need my motivation! haha.. anyway hope u like this chap.. theres too little insanity for my liking.. but I had to bridge and cause more conflict right? Anyway.. pls review ok? Thanks a lot k.. smile.. Amirel