Despite the almost overwhelming comfort of the lounge chair, Yuna managed to force herself up and into the kitchen to grab a coffee to take back to bed. It was strangely therapeutic to make her own drink. She supposed it was, in all honesty, because she still got a real kick out of her independent moments. Yes. It was refreshing, in a word. It almost made up for the fact that she was on four to five cups a day, which was a radical change from her previous, uh, zero. Almost, but not quite. She giggled then, heading back towards her bedroom. There was something almost ironic about it, but she couldn't quite put her finger on it. Yuna stopped herself in the act of reaching for the door to her room and turned to walk determinedly up onto the deck. It was very cold, the deck was slippery and the wind tore at her clothes and hair but she managed to reach the edge and tip the remainder of her coffee over the edge. It was a satisfying feeling.

There was a murmur of voices and the sound of the bridge door opening and closing again. Yuna spun around, nearly losing her balance on the sodden planks. It was Baralai, with the usual calm and virtually neutral look he seemed to favor.
"Lady Yuna." He said, bowing politely and holding the door to the cabins downstairs open for her.
"Thank you, Praetor." She replied gratefully, bustling inside .
Once he had closed the door, the silver haired man turned to her.
"Lady Yuna, I apologize, but some rather pressing business in Bevelle has arisen. I can only take you as far as Kilika."
Yuna sighed inwardly and thought for a moment, whilst appreciatively noticing the feeling returning to her toes.
"I'm grateful for your assistance, Praetor. Thank you very much."
Baralai nodded.
"It is my pleasure, Lady Yuna."

Yuna smiled distractedly, sinking her feet further into the lusciously warm and fluffy carpet. She almost wanted to roll around in it…

Baralai watched her for a moment or two, allowing a small smile to touch his lips.

"Perhaps I could offer you some breakfast, My Lady Summoner?"

Yuna came back to reality with a start and turned slightly pink.

"O-of course! T-that would be lovely!"
As they walked down the stairs and to the lounge together, Yuna sighed inwardly again. She felt like a bit of an idiot. Still, it could be worse...

Once in the comfort of the lounge, Baralai sent for some breakfast and settled himself into the same chair as he had on the previous night. After staring out at the rain and turbulent seas with a wistful expression, he sent a careful glance over at his guest.
"What is it like being a Sphere hunter, Yuna? What's it like being able to see the world, and feel things as they really are, without constant responsibility?" He inhaled sharply, and quickly averted his gaze to hide the pink that was spreading across his cheeks. "I'm sorry, my Lady…"

Yuna blushed slightly herself and the words began to just fall out of her mouth.
"When I was a Summoner, even though I was doing what I wanted to do with my life, it was never about what I wanted. It was about doing what someone else wanted. Always someone else telling me what to do and making the plans. 'Bring us the calm, Lady Yuna.' 'Make us happy again Yuna!'" Yuna broke off and began to nibble at a fingernail. She stood up and walked over to the window. "I wanted to help, believe me, but it was like no one cared that I was going to die! No one cared if I was scared or if I'd changed my mind... Except for my guardians, but none of them really tried to stop me... Except for Ti-... Rikku. Except for Rikku."

Yuna was furious with herself. It was the second time that day she'd gotten all flustered over her memories. Why did she have to torture herself like this? Once again, she wanted to cry and maybe smash a few things, but instead she turned to her host and smiled a fragile, quivering smile.
"What I meant to say was that I understand."
With an unreadable expression, Baralai stood up and put his hand on her shoulder.
"I-.."
Before he could really even start the sentence properly, Yuna's eyes had filled with tears and she had fled to her room.
Baralai slumped down into his chair again and, after a moment, he looked out the window to resume his moody contemplation.

Yuna slammed the door and threw herself onto her bed, crying desperately. Why did she have to be stupid and keep doing this to herself? Why did she have to keep imagining all of these 'what ifs' that would never come to pass? Why did go and blab everything out to Baralai, of all people? Idiot!!! Sniffing, she rolled over and lay on her back.

"Why can't I be happy and have a normal life?"
She thought of the thousands of people she had met throughout her pilgrimage and subsequent travels. They had simple lives. Some of them had never even traveled beyond their nearest temple, despite the advances in Spira's technology. Most had never even seen, much less rode on an airship. They'd never done anything like becoming a Guardian, never defeated Sin or saved the world in another way. They'd never had thousands of people in awe at a concert or given big speeches to the public. They'd never fought big, vicious fiends or people like Seymour who strived for world domination. Most of them had never even killed a piranha at the beach, or played a proper game of Blitzball. Such simple lives, but they were content. They were even, well, happy…

Yuna's thoughts were interrupted by a cautious sounding knock at the door.
"I'm sorry for the intrusion, My Lady. It's Baralai."
She sat up slowly and rubbed at her eyes. "The door's unlocked."
The door opened and Baralai peered around the edge.
"I, uh, bought you breakfast in case you were hungry." He placed the tray on the table by the door and stood there for a moment, feeling very inept. "I'm sorry about troubling you before..." He clasped his hands together, and resumed his awkward standing. Yuna smiled, despite herself.
"It's not your fault at all. I think I'm just a bit rundown is all," she gestured to the tray " Are we still having breakfast together?"
Baralai smiled briefly.
"Can we make that dinner? I managed to get another full day of paperwork sent to me, via the CommSpheres."
Yuna nodded understandingly and waved a little when Baralai left the room. She suddenly felt quite warm and lay back onto the bed again. She wasn't too sure whether it was the effects of her stress or something else, she began to feel like even though Tidus wasn't around she could still be happy. Just maybe. It was a nice feeling.
Baralai closed Yuna's door and leaned against the opposite wall, blushing madly. He couldn't believe he'd just said that! He took a few deep breaths and headed towards his study.

Hearing Baralai walk away, Yuna began to think about him. Naturally. It was strange... She didn't know him all that well, especially in comparison to how she had come to know Gippal and to a lesser extent, Nooj. It made sense of course, since Shuyin possessed Baralai for almost the entirety of 'The Vegnagun Incident.' They hadn't really been able to fight together, or anything. No, that made it even more confusing. If they'd only met on a few brief occasions, then why did she feel like she had known him for, say, a thousand years?

Pushing aside her thoughts Yuna reached towards the Comm Sphere that was resting upon the bedside table and once again dialed Rikku's number.
A groggy sounding and looking Rikku answered.
"H'lo? Yunie??! Why do you call me now, huh?" She asked, her blond braids askew.
Yuna giggled. "It's 8.15, Rikku..."
Rikku made some unintelligible noises and slid back under her sheets. The Sphere was picked up by Gippal. Yuna blushed furiously.
"Hey, Yuna babe. What's up?" he asked, holding the sphere and leaning back on the pillows.
"Uh… I, uh, was calling to tell Rikku that I wouldn't be home until the day after tomorrow..." Yuna averted her eyes from the sphere and twiddled her thumbs.
"Fair enough, Yuna babe. By the way everything is settled with Tobli... Hey!" Gippal's grin became cheekier and he raised an eyebrow. "That ship, it's Baralai's ship! I want to know what you're doing in a bed, on Baralai's ship, in your underwear!"
Yuna mumbled uselessly as Gippal shifted over so that Rikku's face was in range of the Sphere as well.

"Hi Yunie! I said you should get with him! Ages ago in Bevelle, remember?!"
Yuna nodded absently.
"Bye..." She reached over and switched the Sphere off.

She dropped the sphere casually onto the bed and grabbed the tray. A small basket of fresh scones, a glass of orange juice and a small pot each of honey, jam and cream.
"Yummy."
As she ate, she thought about what Rikku had said a year or so ago, in Bevelle. Rikku had been checking out Baralai because of the misunderstood belief that he and Yuna were meant to marry. Even though that had turned out to be a gross misunderstanding, Rikku was still adamant to know what Yuna had thought of the Praetor. Yuna had firmly insisted it wasn't meant to be. What was it that Baralai had said himself? 'I was not the one meant to marry the High Summoner..." Exactly. Yuna popped the last bit of the scone she was eating into her mouth. She felt irritable. For the entire remainder of that day, Rikku justHAD to remind her of the depressing quality of his voice as he said that. Yuna shook her head.
"Rikku..."