Title: Crossover of DOOM
Author: kire evoli and Aerohead
Pairing: Christine v. Glinda, Raoul v. Boq, Carlotta v. Mme Morrible, Meg v. Elphaba, Piangi v. Dr. Dillamond, Mme. Giry v. Nessarose, Andre v. Crope, Firmin v. Tibbett, Nadir v. Avaric, Ayesha v. Malky, and Misses Milla, Pfannee, and Shen Shen versus the Opera Populaire dancers
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I do not own Phantom of the Opera, the Characters belong to their rightful owners. I do not own Wicked, they belong to their rightful owners. Tres sad, I know.
Warning: Err, be prepared. This is what happens when two best friends mix their obsessions together.
Genre: Humor/General
Summary: The characters of Wicked take on the characters of the Phantom of the Opera in a battle of wits, strength, and insanity
Author's Notes: Wow, people seriously like this story, well the few people who read it! Yay! I'm glad. Now the battles start!

Fiyero looked around at the people on the stage. "Well, I guess we better start now." He said. He looked at his "team" and waved to them. "Unless you want to be in the first 'battle', then I suggest getting off of the stage now." He said.

Glinda stood there for a moment, watching as the others went into the audience to watch. "Well, if you're going to be that way, I'll be the first volunteer." She said.

Fiyero sighed. "Okay, you're turn." He said to Erik.

Erik stared at the blonde "Good Witch" for a moment and then looked down at Christine. He contemplated who to pair Christine up with and figured from the witch's previous actions that she wouldn't be too dangerous. "Christine, you can go up against Glinda."

Christine blinked. "I have to fight that woman?"

"Don't worry. Just go up there." He said gently edging her towards the center of the stage. "I'll be right here."

Christine walked towards the other woman in the sparkly blue dress and smiled.

Glinda returned Christine's smile. "I'm Glinda Upland." She said, curtseying to Christine. She looked the taller woman up and down, before her smile grew Cheshire-like. "You know, you have very pretty hair, but it just won't do with that dress you're wearing." She said.

Fiyero leaned back in his chair, flipping the note he and Erik had received. "Hey…this says we have to be commentators…so…we have to say what they're doing?" he raised an eyebrow as he looked back at the stage. "Well, Glinda's…" he smacked his forehead as he watched Glinda's actions."Oh, sweet Oz, she's giving fashion tips."

"You like my hair!?" Christine giggled. "Thank you! But my dress?" She looked down at her outfit. "You think it clashes?"

Erik smiled. "I knew I made the right choice."

"What do you think I should do to fix it?" She asked Glinda, running her fingers through her dark brown curls. "Or maybe a new dress?"

"I love your hair." Glinda said, flipping her own tightly curled hair as she back up. "But, yes…that dress…"

"I can't believe this…It's Glinda's dream come true - someone besides Elphaba she can make over." Fiyero said, laying his head on the desk.

Glinda looked over Christine closely. "With your skin tone and hair…I don't think that dress really compliments you…maybe something…pink? No….purple? No, no…" Glinda snapped her fingers and let out a triumphant noise. "Lavender! Oh, believe me, it would be perfect to set off you skin and hair perfectly!"

Christine's eyes lit up. "Lavender! You really think lavender is my color?! It's so pretty!" She moved closer to Glinda and began to get excited like a young girl. "We should go shopping! Then you could help me pick out a nice one. In lavender, maybe a different fit too." She shrugged.

"And Christine has found a new favorite color." Erik commented on the 'battle'. "Is this what she does when she meets new people?" He asked, turning to Fiyero who looked like he had dealt with this many times.

"New people?" Fiyero mimicked, not lifting his head up. "No, she's just like this all the time." He rolled his eyes. "You should have seen the wall of shoes she had in her dormitory at University."

Glinda's mouth hung open, and she squealed. "We should! I'd love to see the shops in…where are we? Oh, yes, France! I'm sure they're much better than the ones we have in Gillikin." She looked at the cut of Christine's dress, before nodding. "And there are different shades of lavender, too. We could get you dresses for all different occasions and seasons!"

"At least she's no longer trying to get Oz to change the guards' uniforms from green to purple to look more ostentatious." Fiyero muttered, before sitting up. "And Glinda has perhaps found her shopping equal."

"Oh! That would be wonderful!" Christine cheered. "And perhaps, we could find one for you too!?"

"Did you say, 'wall of shoes'?" Erik questioned in disbelief as he watched the two girls gleam in excitement. "This 'battle' is doing nothing to prove the better musical." He sighed and then laughed.

"There are millions of shops here in France! Maybe we could by some matching gloves and hats and oh! It'll be so much fun!" Christine smiled. "I like this battle Erik!"

Fiyero nodded. "Yes, one wall entirely of shoes of every possible color." He said as he too watched the girls. "Maybe we should get another set of people up here before they go about redecorating." He said.

Glinda beamed as she hugged Christine's arm. "Oh, that'd be lovely! Fiyero!" She whined, looking at the man she had been betrothed to. "Fiyero, can we please stay in this France place just a tad bit longer than needed? I'd love to go get a new dress or so!"

Fiyero just stared at Glinda, before waving a hand. "Whatever you want, Glinda." He said, his voice lacking emotion. He heard a snicker behind him and turned to glare at Elphaba.

"Maybe you're idea's the best, Fiyero." She said.

Fiyero's mouth hung open, and he looked from the stage to Erik to Elphaba and back. "Well…well…what do you think?" he asked, side-glancing Erik.

Erik nodded. "These two will bring us no where. Why don't you both come back here and talk about your clothes." He said as gently as possible.

"Oh! Of course Erik. I'm sorry we're in your way!" Christine replied, completely forgetting what she was even out in the middle for and dragged Glinda, who was still attached to her arm, towards the desk.

"Vere iz dat green woman!?" Carlotta yelled as she paraded into the middle of the stage. "I vant to get za green woman! Vere iz she!?" She had the toughest look she could produce glued to her face as her narrowed eyes scoped the stage.

Elphaba raised one dark eyebrow. "She wants a fight? Fine!" Elphaba started to get up, but Fiyero got between her and the stairs to the star. "Fiyero, let me up there."

"Elphaba, please…" he started.

"Well, then, who else is going to fight her?" Elphaba demanded, looking back at her "team". "See, Fiyero, no one will fight her!"

"Miss Elphaba, take your seat." Fiyero put his head on Elphaba's shoulder, letting out a sigh.

"So, when did Morrible get here?" he muttered.

Madame Morrible, in her green press secretary's dress, headed onto the stage, a pinched look on her powdered face. "You, Miss, would not last five seconds with Miss Elphaba and her…powers." She frowned at Elphaba, before turning back to Carlotta. "Well?"

"Okay, Madame…Morrible versus La Carlotta." Fiyero said as he gently shrugged Elphaba into her seat and he went back into his.

"I do not vant to fight zis wrinkled old powder bag! I vant ze girl!" She hissed, pulling up her skirts in intimidation.

"You do not have any choice in the matter," Erik stated coldly. "And if you do not fight this battle, you shall turn even greener than Miss Elphaba, to match your other…toad like qualities." He said, bringing up some of the diva's most unpleasant memories.

"Fh Fh…Fine! Clear za stage! Go on! Shoo!" Carlotta began to chase the dancers and the others towards the edge of the stage. She walked back over to her competition and looked her up and down. "Alright you oversized powder puff! If you are ze only way I can get to ze green girl, then I vill have to puff you out!" she snarled, pulling back her skirts again and staring at Morrible with a look she called intimidating, and everyone else called hilarious.

"Powder bag?" Morrible repeated, scandalized.

"Powder…bag…" Fiyero said, looking at Erik. "Is she really…? I bet she is…never mind." He muttered to himself, shaking his head.

Morrible's fish-like face grew hot, and she glared at Carlotta. "Why you insolent little girl." She snarled, raising a hand. "I think I should teach you a lesson."

"Wasn't one of Fiyero's rules not to use magic?" Nessarose asked as she shifted uncomfortably next to Elphaba. Her sister smirked, getting comfortable in her seat.

"Yes, but Morrible doesn't know that, and neither does the peacock." She said, smirking to herself. Fiyero turned to look behind him at his lover, before looking at Morrible, panicking.

"Uh…Madame? I don't think this is a good idea…" he said.

It was too late, Morrible had already snapped her fingers, though it appeared as though nothing had happened.

"Ahahah! Notzing happened you bag!" Carlotta laughed as she pushed by Morrible, purposely knocking her shoulder into the other woman's. "Hello prince…." She said abnormally shyly as she edged towards Fiyero in her perfected strut. "Now, vere were we?" She smiled, pulling out her little fan and began to air her face. "Before zat green cur you brought it witz you barked at me!" Her eyes now narrowed at Elphaba who was practically death-staring her back. She looked back and Fiyero and tilted her head. "Hmm?"

Fiyero got up out of his chair and held up his hands to Carlotta, trying to appease both the diva and his angered lover. "Well, uh, we were -" The sound of thunder, and Fiyero moved back to his chair. "Morrible's specialty is weather." He said to Erik, watching a cloud form over Carlotta's head.
The diva stared up at the grey cloud that was mysteriously growing over her. "Va va! Vat iz zis!? Youâ₦amp;brvbar;you witch!" she screamed in terror. "Get it off me! Get it off!" she spun around in circles, flailing her arms about trying to make the cloud dissipate.
Madame Morrible looked appalled at Carlotta's comment. "I'll have you know that I'm no witch; I'm a public educator." She said, crossing her arms over her chest.
Fiyero watched. "Should we stop this?"
Erik couldn't take his off the two arguing women. "It depends, what is Madame Morrible capable of? Could she rid me of that woman forever?" He waited for Fiyero's answer before he decided what to do with this battle. Perhaps it didn't prove the better musical but for years he had wanted that woman to justâ₦amp;brvbar;disappear.
Fiyero looked at Erik. "I honestly don't know." He said finally. "Elphaba and Glinda studied under her; I majored in Life Sciences, not sorcery."
"She can only conjure weather and lies." Elphaba said, moving away from Carlotta and the stage. She smirked when she was a good distance away, "but at least we've found a use for Morrible."
Morrible turned to glare at Elphaba, who sat down near Glinda and Christine. Morrible turned back to Carlotta, and flicked her wrist, watching with satisfaction as the cloud thundered again, before letting out a torrent of pelting water and ice. "Oh, I'm sorry dear; did I ruin your dress?" Morrible asked, feigning apology.
"Dis dress, I do not care!" Carlotta yelled, swatting away drops of water. "My hair!" She touched her hair that was tight and styled but now drooped and sagged with water. "And my make up." She ran her hands down her face and wiped away the wet make up on her cheeks. "That's it!" she demanded as she lunged at Morrible.
"Wow, and Carlotta lunges at Morrible." Fiyero commented.
Morrible watched Carlotta come at her, before side-stepping the younger woman. "A woman of your age should not be fighting like a common Munchkin." She said, before going to the wings and picking up a large, broad stick. "However, if you want to fight, I suppose I should prepare myself."
"Zere is no time to prepare!" She said, sticking her nose up in the air. "Ze fight 'as already begun!" She clenched the stick and tried vigorously to rip it out of Morrible's grasp. "Cheap! She use za stick! Gimme zat!"
Morrible waited until all of Carlotta's weight was on the stick and let go, sending the other woman careening. "As you wish." Morrible sighed.
In the back of the theatre, Glinda squealed. "Could I try and turn your dress lavender?" she asked Christine.
Christine's eyes lightened. "You can do that?!" she asked, beaming in wonder. "You could turn my dress lavender?! Oh! Go ahead! Do try!" She stood back from Glinda and held her arms by her sides. "Okay!"
"OH! Zat evil woman!" Carlotta groaned as she used the stick to help herself up. "What does zis do?" She asked, banging down on the floor and then examining it very closely. "Itz just 'a stick!" She huffed disappointedly.
"Glinda, don't." Elphaba said. Glinda shook her head.
"Oh, Elphie! I can do this!" She said, starting the spell. Elphaba listened closely, muttering the correct spell under her breath. Christine's dress turned lavender, but Glinda's spell did something on stage that made Elphaba let out an odd mix of a gasp and a cackle.
Carlotta looked out at the gasp in the audience and around the desk. "Vhy are you all laughing? I bet none of you know how to make zis stupid stick work either!" She had thought she was holding the stick a second ago, but she didn't feel anything in her hands. She looked down to see the stick on the floor along with feet that she thought were once hers. "Chicken feet? Oh my god! Zey move whenâ₦amp;brvbar;" She wiggled an arm and looked to her side to see big grey feathers. "Ahh! What is zis?" She screeched, which more or less sounded like a bird howl. Sobbing, she ran around the stage flapping her feathers. "You! Vhat have you doonnnnnne?!"
Christine, who was admiring her beautiful lavender dress, stopped admiring and looked over at the screeching bird. "Oh!" she covered her mouth as she gasped. "Carlotta's a peacock!"