Author's Note: Oh, Lord! I am deeply sorry for the super-duper long delay in my updating. This time, the culprit is not laziness but busyness. I am working on my high school's play right now – "Oliver!" – and I'm at school from 7:50 in the morning until approximately 7:30 at night. Busy, busy, busy. I'm like a little bumbly bee. Yes, I said bumbly.

On a completely unrelated, yet important note: you should all go read sweetevangeline's story "Lightning Bolts and Filibuster Fireworks." It is a right cool story about Hermione and George with a special cameo by the luscious Oliver Wood and yours truly, Sneezy Mouse (under the alias of Caitlin, my real name).

So, read my story (and review if you'd like), then read that story. WOO-HOO!!!!

:*: 4 – Planning at the Burrow :*:

Mr. and Mrs. Jeffery and Fiona Granger and Mr. and Mrs. Arthur and Molly Weasley cordially invite you partake in the blessed union of souls between Hermione Granger and Fred Weasley on the fourteenth of April at the La Souris qui Éternue Vineyard Reserve Beach in Le Fromage Cause la Souris pour Eternuer, France.

There will be a Chunnel trip taking place two days before the ceremonies take place, funded by the bride's parents.

A reception will follow immediately after the proceedings in the dining patio in the actual vineyard. Directions will be given. The wedding will be a formal dress affair and the reception a dress-casual. Please dress accordingly.

Enclosed is a list of locations the couple is registered at. A gift is not required, but would be greatly appreciated if you so deemed to purchase one.

Please R.S.V.P. as soon as possible with either family. On behalf of the couple, we hope to see you there.

That was Hermione's invitation. This was the one I wanted:

Fred Weasley and Hermione Granger are inviting you to their wedding. It's in this fancy French Vineyard that says something about a sneezing mouse that takes place in a town that also mention something about a sneezing mouse and cheese. It takes place on the fourteenth of April.

There's an underground journey through that tunnel thing between England and France. Beware, as we will be going underground and might encounter some underground monsters. Please do not come if you have a weak heart.

Unfortunately, since this is a wedding, you have to dress up. Yes, it sucks, but the groom has to do it too, and dammit, if he has to dress up, you do too!

Also, we like gifts. You don't have to buy one, but if you don't, we'll say it's okay but really hate you behind your back. You know, you're choice.

So, see you on the fourteenth. It'll be really fun.

But, no. Hermione wanted proper invitations. God forbid we have a slightly amusing wedding.

"Fred," Hermione reasoned. "I want this to be special. Can we please use the invitations I drafted?"

"But they have no element of Fred in them," I complained, then added after seeing the look on Hermione's face. "But then that was the point, I'm assuming."

"Glad you see it my way."

"I still think my only responsibility should be to show up."

"Fred Weasley, you are going to be a part of this wedding, dammit!" Hermione said.

"You two are already arguing like a married couple," Ginny said.

"Quiet, Ginny!" Hermione and I both snapped. Then we looked at each other and laughed.

"So, Hermione," Ginny asked. "Who are you're bridesmaids? Besides me, I mean."

"You're not one of my bridesmaids,"  Hermione said simply.

So… I was in shock. I could've sworn Hermione would've picked Ginny as a bridesmaid. After all, she had mentioned Ginny before. Ginny was in shock, as well, I could tell. She looked as if she was trying not to cry, actually.

"Oh," was all Ginny said.

"Ginny, you twit!" Hermione said. "You're not one of my bridesmaids because you're my maid-of-honor!"

And now, due to the high-pitched squeal that only Ginny can release, my ears hurt.

"Okay, Ginny, you can let go now," Hermione said. "I can't breathe."

"Please, Ginny," I said. "I'd actually like to be able to get married to a person that hasn't been suffocated."

"Sorry," Ginny said, releasing Hermione. "I'm just – this is so… happy!"

Ginny and Hermione hugged again. Today was the first of many, many, MANY wedding information creation days. Despite the fact that, since it was now early December, we had around four months until we had to actually get married, Hermione insisted we have a basic plan and two back-up plans in case something went wrong.

Our first planning day was to take place at the Burrow, where we would start the organization for the wizard portion of the invitees. We had to start a lot of paper work saying that we wouldn't mistreat the Muggles, that we would keep the wizarding secret.

For example, there was this charm we had to place that made all the Muggles forget any magic that occurred at our wedding due to a wizard or witch releasing it. But, to ensure they didn't forget the entire ceremony, the Wizard/witch magic would turn into a special pyrotechnic show or a trick of the light. You know, crap that only Muggles would believe in.

Those crazy Muggles. They'll believe almost anything to avoid the truth.

"Mum!" Ginny squealed as she (Mum), entered the room. "Guess what?"

Mum looked a little stunned at being yelled at, so she didn't respond.

"Hermione made me her maid-of-honor!" Ginny answered.

"Oh, Ginny, Hermione," Mum said. "That's wonderful."

Oh crap, here come the tears.

Ever since Hermione and I got engaged, every time I see Mum, she's either crying or reminiscing when I was a lad… or crying while reminiscing when I was a lad. You'd think she'd be used to it, seeing as how she's already dealt with it with both Bill and Charlie.

But you see, I guess that since this is the first official, family occasion, she has a right to. Bill and Charlie both eloped. Bill eloped with Jessica the summer after I proposed to Hermione. The story is: Bill was in Egypt, met Jessica. Two weeks later, we get an owl saying they were wedded by some traditional Egyptian priest bloke (Jessica is half-Egyptian, half-British).

Charlie was a much more traditional elopement story. Stephanie came into Charlie's life as a helper with the herd of dragons Charlie deals with in Romania. At first, Ron had the fancies for Stephanie, but Steph was all starry-eyed for good ole' Charlie. So she and Charlie got together and eventually, Charlie proposed. But Stephanie's mother and father are pure-blood witches and wizards with a less-than-kosher attitude towards Muggles, Muggleborns and Muggle(born) lovers, the latter in which Charlie fits into.

But love knows no boundaries (apparently) and they got married in a small chapel set up near Charlie and Steph's dragon reserve.

Ah, all this romance talk is making me misty-eyed. Sigh.

Wow. I was talking about Mum's right to cry all the time when she's around me and I ended up giving a whole story behind Bill and Charlie. What I was trying to get at was that Mum has yet to be able to experience a traditional (for the most part) wedding and she was way too into the whole situation. For now, it had yet to annoy me. As long as Mum was around with the whole wedding planning, I assumed I didn't have to do anything. Just sit back, occasionally say I liked this color or this fabric and I'd be just dandy.

Boy, was I wrong.

"Fred? Fred!" Hermione said, breaking me out of the zoning out I was doing.

"Yes?" I asked innocently.

"I asked you who your best man is going to be? And the rest of them?"

"My brothers," I said. "And Harry, Lee, and Oliver. Why?"

"And your best man?"

I shrugged. "George, I guess."

"Couldn't you pick someone that wasn't my brother as well?" Ginny asked.

"Like Harry?" I shot back. Ginny blushed.

"If you insist."

"You're not going to be able to have that many," Hermione said. "I'm only picking three bridesmaids, one maid-of-honor." Ginny beamed.

"Okay," I said.

Hermione looked at me expectantly.

"You want me to choose now?" I asked.

"It would be helpful," Hermione said. "I'm going to have to start thinking about bridesmaid's gowns and then have them clash with red hair."

I smirked. "You're always going to have to deal with red hair." I pointed to my own.

"But that's different. I don't have to worry about clashing. White goes magnificently with your hair."

"So have the bridesmaids and stuff wear white," I offered.

By the shocked silence that engulfed the room, you might have though I said something like make them all shoot a baby deer or something.

"What?" I asked.

Mum sighed and said as if she were insulted, "Only the bride is allowed to wear white. It takes away from the individuality of the bride. The others must wear a different color."

"Pink?"

The three women in the room with me shook their heads. "Pink is too… blah."

"Oh, well! That explains everything!"

"Fred," Hermione said. "Would you like to leave? You don't seem as if you're having the best of times."

"I don't need you to tell me when to leave," I said. "But can I? Really?"

Hermione grinned and nodded.

"Yes!"

"Oh, praise Merlin!" I yelled, popping out of my seat.

"Wait!" Hermione cried.

"Dammit," I muttered.

Hermione grinned again. "I just wanted to ask you about next Friday."

"What about it?" I asked.

"I was thinking… maybe," Hermione said. "That we could have my friends over for dinner. And yours. Just so they have a chance to get to know each other."

"Uh…" I paused. "I guess. Do we have to cook?"

"Yes," Hermione responded.

"Do I have to cook?"

"Yes!"

"But shouldn't we give your friends more notice?"

"Maybe I forgot to tell you," Hermione said. "But they are already planning on coming."

"Wow," I said, amused. "You're not very forth-coming with the information these days are you."

Hermione sighed. "Look. I'm just really stressed about the wedding and stuff. It's made me forgetful on a few other things."

"Forgetfulness," I said, in my doctor voice. "Another sign of serious Wedding Dementia."

"Wedding Dementia?" Ginny and Mum said at the same time.

"That is just some really dumb thing that Fred thought up," Hermione answered. "He now brings it up whenever I do something he thinks is irresponsible or…"

"Stupid?" I offered. "Insane? Irritating?"

"They get it," Hermione snapped.

"Just thought I'd help," I said. "But I'm off. Next Friday sounds fine. See you at home," I added, giving Hermione a kiss.

"Bye," Hermione said.

I waved and Apparated away. As I popped into the Leaky Cauldron – I really wanted a drink – I was all smiles. I was so amazingly happy to have left. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy wedding talk, but hours on top of more hours of it is kind of annoying. And boring. Did I mention boring?

It's all just a bit much for me, actually. At the time, I wasn't quite sure if the wedding was really all that worth it. All it's doing is making Hermione annoying, making me look really stupid and mean and making both of us act like morons, basically. And the worse part is, marriage isn't supposed to get better. It all goes down hill from here.

And Good God, that scared me.

But ah, fears be gone! I was drinking.

:*: :*: :*: :*: :*: :*: :*: :*: :*: :*:

I literally stumbled home at around two in the morning – a good four hours later. Boy, when I go out to get drunk, I get drunk. I must say that I don't remember anything that happened that night. According to Hermione, this is what it was.

"Fred!?" I vaguely remember Hermione saying when I popped into the living room (thankfully in one piece – Apparation is quite dangerous when your completely sloshed). "Fred, I have news."

"Yeah?" I said, grinning.

"I'm not sure how you're going to feel about this but…" she stopped.

I blinked a couple times.

"What?"

Hermione narrowed her eyes.

"Are you drunk?" she questioned in a hissing-type voice.

I blinked some more.

"What?"

"You are drunk!" she yelled. "Oh, I don't believe this. What the hell were you thinking? Or were you? Was Ron there? You probably thought you could drink him under the table, I bet."

"Of course I can drink Ron under the table!" was apparently what I said. "Even Ginny can drink him under the table!"

Hermione shook her head in disappointment. "Is that what you have been doing since you left the Burrow? Drinking?"

"Pretty much."

"And you Apparated home!? You sure got lucky, mister! You could've ended up somewhere entirely different. Or even worse, you could've been splinched! Did you even think about that?"

"Well," I said, getting a little angry. "I wasn't. So back off. I'm going to bed."

"Not like this, you're not." Hermione stepped in front of my path to the bedroom. "You could get sick and end up choking on your own vomit."

Her harping voice caused me to take a few steps back. While doing so, I ran into the arm of the large chair and fell onto it.

"Fine," I said. "I'll just sleep on the chair."

Hermione let out a frustrated cry and stalked away.

"Good night!" I cried cheerily. "I love you!"

The door to her bedroom slammed shut.

Author's Note: Ooh. Drama, drama, drama. So, a big gold star to my reader's who guess correctly what Hermione needed to tell Fred (it shouldn't be that hard. It is a quite cliché occurrence).

French translation time!:

La Souris qui Éternue: The Sneezing Mouse

Le Fromage Cause la Souris pour Eternuer: The Cheese Causes the Mouse to Sneeze

I'm quite proud of those names, as a matter of fact. Now on with the thank you's!

faith: I'm glad your friend is in LOVE with me. It's nice to be loved.

sweetevangeline: You are *so* the reviewer. I liked your comment about snails being "Slimey little bastards." It was quite the funny remark. Can't wait for the next update in "Lightning Bolts."

b0ing: Thanks so much. I'm glad you are liking this story.

Alizee: Yes! More warm fuzzies. Also, bummer about your "spawn of satan" relatives. I don't have any like that (thank the lord), so I can't say I feel your pain. Also, happy belated 16th birthday! Hope you got lots of presents, despite the horrible prank.

gcpunkprincess: Thanks so much for the kind review. Hope you liked this chapter as much as the others!

Isadora: Your Geometry book, eh? Well, feel free to do so. She is a very annoying character and her role in this story isn't over yet.

Lady Laughs-A-Lot: Curly-Q, did you change your name? Because the new one made me smile. Anyways, I hope you didn't give up hope despite the long update time! I'll try harder to get the next one up in a week!
Gwen Potter: Well, if you feel the need to throw out what you've got on the sequel, do so but make the rewrite snappy! I need my Percy/Hermione fix. I'm trying to write one of my own, but I always get frustrated because I don't think it nearly up to par with the Percy/Hermione standard you have set. But thanks for reviewing and Hermione's relatives will be in the story later as well. Glad you enjoyed them.

Muggle Lover: I would have to agree on the whole hugging Oliver part… that would be perfection. Ahem, anyways, I must say I loved your review. It strongly reminded me of Fred for some odd reason. That was supposed to be a compliment, just to let you know. Thanks for reviewing!

Hannah Holt: I'm glad your enjoying my story so much. I hope you liked this chapter as much as the other.

tortify: Well, I know this chapter had no snails in it, but I hope it was good nonetheless. Thanks for reviewing.

HogwartsHeadGirl: Well, Hermione hasn't met Fred's extended family, so more hilarity is on the way.

Sabriel: You're Canadian!? Awesome!!! I am obsessed with Canada! I constantly make random comments about Canada to my friends. They get quite annoyed with me, actually. The sad part is, I'm obsessed with a place I've never been. I know, sadness. I live three hours away from the British Columbia border (I live in Seattle, Wa. in case you were wondering) and I've never gone up there. Sigh. Thanks for the review and I hope you are enjoying the way the plot is unfolding.

Jen Drake: Thanks for the compliments and consider yourself on my fan list.

gohansfollowers: I know. Fred has no tact, does he? But all is well, because it makes for great comical scenes that you all seem to enjoy immensely.

oneiros lykos: Well, gosh. Thanks for reading my story despite the fact your head is all clogged up and it's painful to read. And yes, I know it was confusing at the beginning but hopefully, as the story progresses the first chapter will begin to make a bit more sense.

eudyptulaminor: Thanks for the reviews and the compliments. Also, for the clarification on the whole snail family thing. I honestly had no clue and I didn't think anyone would really notice if I were wrong. But alas, I was and you so nicely pointed it out. Thanks. I clicked on your name and read your bio and here's my answer on the meaning of your name: a rock hopper.

Daine of Queenscove: Oh! The humility! A thousand thank you's for placing me on your "Favorite Author's" list. That's very nice of you and I righteously appreciate it! Also, thanks for letting me know I actually do sound like Fred. I'm always worried about the characterization my writing gives him and it's nice to know I'm not grotesquely butchering him. Thanks!

So there are my thanks. Also, if you would like a cameo in this story, drop me a review with a name and brief (very brief) description. I'm going to need numerous people to play Fred and Hermione's relatives so if your interested, let me know and I'll type you in. Until next time…