C h a p t e r Four
The next morning, the six children awoke to the sound of African calypso music. It is nice to be woken up like this, if you are in a circus tent, where the atmosphere is happy and joyful, but not if, like me, you are in the Tower of London's torture chamber, where they play songs in a minor key to upset you further.
"That's nice music," Violet commented, after washing and dressing, and coming into the central part of the tent, to meet Klaus and Sunny. "What's it played on?"
"It's African calypso music," replied Klaus, having read a book on African culture when he was nine. "It's played on a steel drum with different areas of varying pitch."
"Sleep!" Sunny shrieked, which probably meant something like, "it makes me want to go back to sleep, even though we've just woken up."
"Yes, it is very relaxing," said Klaus, as they walked out into the open air, the Incredibly Deadly Viper slithering out joyfully behind Sunny.
Outside, the three Baudelaires met up with the Quagmire triplets, who were already walking up to the central circus tent.
"Hello," they said as one.
"Good morning," the Baudelaires replied politely, that is, of course, apart from Sunny, who simply shrieked "morning!" at the top of her voice, making the birds at the top of the circus tent flutter away.
They walked up to the tent, the Quagmires informing the Baudelaires on what to do and where to go after they had entered it.
The large red-and-yellow tent was even more colossal – a word which here means 'huge' – than the Baudelaires had supposed, when they had first seen it. There was a ring in the centre of it, bordering the tall benches, which were empty at the moment but would soon fill up with the masses of circus workers attending. At the far end of the ring, there was a large square opening, covered with bead chains. Multicoloured lights filled every inch of the ceiling, if you could call it that. Three trapezes hung, swinging slightly, next to a long tightrope, which was being tightened and tested. It was your typical circus tent. What was there to be afraid of? Little did everybody know that trouble was lurking, literally, around the corner.
Violet, Klaus, Sunny, Duncan, Isadora and Quigley all sat down on the uppermost benches, waiting for something to happen, in the meantime, chatting animatedly - a word which here means 'energetically' – amongst themselves. The lights, bright and twinkling, suddenly dimmed. The benches were now packed with anticipating workers, and their animals; a Very Friendly Dingo and the Incredibly Deadly Viper had followed the six children into the tent. Now, the Baudelaires saw, there were a lot more circus workers than one would think: the group of trapeze artists in their leotards in one area; the lion trainers in another; the tightrope walkers, the fire breathers, the jugglers… all the way down to the clowns.
Just as if in a real show, a drum roll started as the lights were lowered. A hooded figure in a sweeping black cape emerged from the shadows, into the centre of the circus ring. It was dark, but everybody could see it nevertheless. A dozen more of these figures came out and formed a semicircle, facing the spectators. The circus theme started to play – but was made all the more eerie by the fact that it was in a minor key. To this, the hooded figures started to sing – no, it was more of a chant. The audience held its breath and strained its ears – a phrase which here means 'listened very closely' – to catch every chilling word of the heartless, cold song. Klaus and Isadora, above all, were fascinated by its complex structure and meaning, of which only they – just like the scientific principles of the conversion and bending of light, which could only be understood by Violet and a few others – could understand.
"We hope you enjoy the show at
Fun festival today,
Where all manner of cold, dark creatures
Come, nestle here, and play.
First there are the Batting Bats,
Whose screech will pierce your ears,
And maybe playing baseball
Will heighten your worst fears.
Then there is the Wolf-Man,
Who detests quiet noises.
He'll scream at one hundred decibels,
In one hundred different poises.
Believe us, there are many more
Who take pride in seeing your fear.
But don't scream when they scare you:
'The world is quiet here.'"
It would only seem fitting in this episode of unfortunate events that the poem have a double meaning. The form of this double meaning shall become evident in the future, perhaps, the near future…
"Wow, that was a great song!" exclaimed Klaus and Isadora.
"I don't like the sound of the Batting Bats, even though I haven't really been fond of baseball as far as I can remember…" contemplated Violet out loud.
"It's okay," said Quigley in reply. "The animals, and maybe the people, won't turn against you while you're here, working with us."
But even as the small glimmer of hope started to rise in the Baudelaire hearts, the familiar big wave of doubt washed it away momentarily. Count Olaf had managed to find them numerous times before, and little could persuade them to think that he wasn't going to this time.
"Still worrying about Count Olaf?" Duncan asked Violet, putting a reassuring arm around her.
Violet nodded.
"Well, I'll tell you what. Here at the circus, as I'm sure you'll know, the ringleader is the… well, leader. He sees and knows all that goes on around here. I'm certain that, with his guards, he'll be able to keep Count Olaf away from you, and you'll never again get a glimpse of that eye on his ankle. You three can go and ask him to keep an eye out for you at lunch, today."
"Thanks," replied Violet. Then – "Would you care to come with us?"
"Oh! Umm… well… I…" he stammered, turning a bright pink, yet it was indistinguishable – a word which here means 'you could not see it because it was so dark' – in the dark circus tent. "Umm… sorry, I can't. I'm busy at lunch."
"Oh. That's okay, then," said Violet, with just a hint of disappointment in her voice.
As the applause died down, another figure came out of the beaded curtain. It wasn't in a hooded black cape, though. It was a tall, thin, balding man, whose glimmering eyes were extinguished by the lack of light. He was dressed in a long red jacket, with a bowler hat pulled low over his forehead.
"Welcome!" he said in a loud, booming voice, that blew away the cobwebs at the top of the tent. "Let the rehearsals begin."
The ringleader lifted his hat and dived into a bow. The Baudelaires gasped – for underneath his hat was a giant tarantula, heading for the audience!
The rest of the crowd did not even bat an eyelid, a phrase which here has nothing to do with bats, but means, 'they were not scared as they had seen the same trick a thousand times before'.
"Don't worry, you'll get used to it," said Isadora reassuringly. "We've seen the same trick a thousand times before."
"It's to get people into the right mood for the scarier parts," said Quigley.
A few hours later, after breakfast and rigorous rehearsals, everyone went back, with their animals and props, to their own tents, for a break. Back in the I.D.V. tent, Klaus and Violet pondered about their meeting with the circus ringleader, whilst Sunny played games with the Incredibly Deadly Viper.
"Do you think that this ringleader can actually keep Olaf out?" asked Violet, thinking about the time when she and her siblings had attended Prufrock Preparatory School, and the Vice Principal Nero had promised to keep Count Olaf out with the advanced computer – but, of course it had failed.
"We can only hope," answered Klaus mournfully.
After three more hours of tough rehearsing and delayed schedules – the Incredibly Deadly Viper had shed its skin during the rehearsal, resulting in a big fuss, a ten-minute cleanup, and a very angry snake – it was at last lunchtime. Violet, Klaus and Sunny went up to the food stand without the Quagmires – they had gone off to their tent – and looked at the available selection of food. Today's choice was fruit. Fruit, with, to Sunny's delight, - though it was rather odd – a basket of carrots. Apparently, the workers and performers had to eat the minimum of food, so they didn't chuck it all back out after an energetic performance.
All of the people around chose their favourite fruit and wandered off with their friends and, if possible, animals. Violet, Klaus and Sunny all chose their fruits, (or in Sunny's case, a vegetable) and walked off, in search of the ringleader.
"Excuse me," said Violet in her most polite voice, after they had found him. "We were wondering if we could have a word…"
"Yes?" he said, in a different, more scrawny voice. "What can I do for you?" And outside the tent, where the daylight was shining, there was no mistaking the glimmering, hungry eyes, and scrawny, scratchy voice, of the one and only, Count Olaf.