C h a p t e r Five
Oh, thank goodness for that! I have had to stop writing because as the smell of petrol filled my nostrils, I realised the bus I was on was burning and I needed to get off quickly. Thankfully, none of the pages are burned, but I think I need some new shoes.
"Yes, orphans?" the ringleader said again, in his scrawny, scratchy voice. "What can I do -" he looked menacingly down at the three children "- for you?"
Violet was trying to answer, but only managed to give a faint stutter.
"We-w-we…"
"I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that. You orphans need to improve your speech."
The Baudelaires did not like the way Count Olaf was emphasising the word 'orphans'; he said it in a devilish, scheming way, and it was not at all pleasant to hear.
"Pardon me?" said Violet, now full of confidence. "We speak very well, thank you very much."
"Aaaah, now, see, that's better," the ringleader said in his scrawny drawl of a voice. "Now, what did you want?"
The siblings wanted many things, such as bringing Count Olaf to justice, a safe place to live, and to solve the web of mystery and woe that surrounded them. Even so they knew it would do no good to confront Olaf about his false identity, as he would only deny it, and they would be getting nowhere. So, they decided to play along with his game – although this time, it was more sinister…
Klaus sighed. "We were wondering, that if we gave you a description of a certain person, you could keep him away from us?"
"Keep someone away from marvellous people such as yourselves?" the ringleader replied, almost teasingly, in tones of mock splendour. "Why on earth would you want to do that? Who is it?" He suddenly added on the end.
"Well, his name is Count Olaf," Klaus replied testily. "Ring any bells?"
The expression on the man's face did not change, but he hesitated slightly before speaking, "no, never heard of the old fellow! What does he look like?"
But Klaus even felt that there was no need as he gave the ringleader a description. Their lives seemed to already be at their ends…
"Name!" shrieked Sunny.
"I do beg your pardon?" the ringleader said in ersatz astonishment.
Now it was Violet's turn to heave a sigh. "What our sister, Sunny, means," she said through gritted teeth, "is, 'what is your name?'"
"My name?" said he with a sinister smile, "my name is Marvolo. But, you may call me Uncle Marv, as I am going to be your carer – along with Delphine, of course…"
"Delphine?" Klaus murmured quietly.
"Zenk," Violet whispered back.
Klaus, of course, knew who Delphine Zenk was, but there was something inside the name that was very vague, but familiar…
He was suddenly jerked out of his trance as fast as he had journeyed into it, by a loud clap behind him.
"E – Zenkie, my dear, there you are! I was just getting to know these, er, - fabulous – children," shouted Uncle Marv, if I really must call him that, as it pains me to stick with his alias.
"Ah!" boomed a voice behind the Baudelaires, who turned around to face Aunt Zenk. "Zeze are ze children I brought in ze ozzer day! But – zen again – I do bring in a lot of zeze rascals from day to day, don't I, Marvie?" she said, as though the children weren't there. Then, she seemed to notice them again, as Marvolo had put his arm around her.
"Oh, go away, kids, and do somesing useful."
Violet, Klaus and Sunny walked away gratefully, but with a cloud of worry hanging over their heads, which is an expression that really does not involve clouds, but here means 'very worried that Uncle Marv, also known as Count Olaf, will kidnap them, and take them away for their money.'
"What are we going to do?" Violet asked silently, a while later, back in the I.D.V. tent. "We don't know much about this place to run away, and Olaf would find us anyway."
"I just hope we'll be able to live through whatever evil scheme he's concocted this time," said Klaus, and all the Baudelaires sighed again. It was bad enough to have Olaf following them around all the time, but the fact that he plotted to steal their fortune every single time, made it worse.