Disclaimer: I don't own Alias or it's characters.....damnit!
(A/N): Well.....instead of studying for a math test today, I decided to write this little doozy. So, because I was so bad, you'll be getting two chapters tomorrow instead of just one. I hope you enjoy this little treat! I also want to thank everybody for your reviews. Don't worry; this isn't going to turn into a twisted love story drama. I had many reviewers bring up that concern. Don't worry; I wouldn't do that to you guys. Now, without further ado...
Chapter Four
"A...a...twin?" I manage to stutter out.
My mom nods.
"Alive?" I ask, hoping it won't turn into this soap opera kind of thing.
My mom shakes her head no.
"What happened?"
"Well...." She pauses to clear her throat, "Your father and I were on a little vacation. My dad had agreed to watch Andy, Liz, and Hillary for us. We were very excited, we just wanted to get away."
I nod my head, signaling her to go on and continue.
"The first few days were just wonderful. We didn't have a care in the world."
Her throat is dry, so she takes a sip of water.
"But, on the fourth day, I went into premature labor. Your father rushed me to the hospital. We were so scared that we were going to lose both of our babies." She looks down at her hands, and after a moment she looks up at me. "Shortly after I arrived, the doctor gave me some sort of drug to stop the contractions." She pauses and says quietly, "Obviously, it didn't work."
"You were born first. You were the biggest baby out of the two of you."
"But, I only weighed four pounds." I say, while playing with the hem of my skirt.
"Yes." She says. "Your sister only weighed two pounds. Her chance of survival was extremely slim." But after a second she adds, "Your chance of survival was very slim."
"Why are you and dad the only people who know?" I ask.
"We wanted to surprise everybody with twins, when you two were born."
"Oh." I say quietly. "How long did she live for?"
They had her on a ventilator, to help her breathe. The doctors said that she wouldn't survive. We told them that we understood. We knew we had to let her go." Tears are now crashing down her face at the memory.
"After she died, we came home. We told everybody that I had gone into premature labor, but you had managed to survive. You had to spend time in the NICU, but you were eventually strong enough to come home. We never told anybody about the second baby."
"Oh." But then..."I stopped breathing."
She nods her head. "Yes, you did."
"But they saved me."
"Yes, they did."
"But that's when you got sick."
"Yes, I did." She bows her head, and blows her nose into a tissue.
"Mom?"
"What?" She looks up, and dabs her eyes with a new tissue.
"Have you ever regretted not telling anybody about her?"
She says quietly, "Every day of my life."
As I get into my car, I can't help but feel lost. I have a sister, a twin sister. But, she's dead. Who knew that this was what had been eating away at my mom for all these years? I just thought that she had become depressed because of me. But, she had become depressed due to the child that didn't survive. The child she lost. I must be a constant reminder of that. No wonder she couldn't hold me or stand to be near me. No wonder she's been so emotional through this whole wedding. Instead of throwing two, for her twin daughters, she's only throwing one.
I pull into traffic, and nearly cause an accident. Instead of cursing, I start crying.
I swerve over into an abandoned parking lot, and I put my head down on the steering wheel.
I start to sob.
It's not because of the horrible relationship my mother and I have.
It's not because I'm stressed out over the wedding.
It's not because I've just nearly hit a person.
It's not because I'm scared.
I'm sobbing and grieving over the twin sister I never had.
Maybe she would have looked just like me.
Brown eyes and that weird dark blond hair.
The face structure and the mannerisms.
The personality and terrible driving habits.
The horrendous cursing vocabulary.
With that, a second round of sobs escape me. A good cry is really all I need.
After a few minutes, I lift my head and I grab my purse. I start digging for the package of Kleenex that I swear I put in there. After a second I spot them. I grab one and blow my nose.
I look up and notice all the cars going past.
Normal people, going to their normal jobs.
I start to laugh at the last comment. My mom always says that.
Maybe I can try to be normal.
Who knows, it might be fun...
As I pull out into traffic, with all the normal people, I turn on the radio and I hear my favorite song.
As I start to sing along, way off key mind you, I feel kind of happy.
I mean, this is what lots of people do, while driving along.
It almost seems...normal...
And then, I realize something. I'm doing something normal.
I'm not cursing or hitting people. Two very un-normal things.
Normal.
I start to laugh.
Due to my state, I almost rear-end the young woman in front of me.
"Damn you!" I yell, while leaning out the window.
Normal....something I don't think I'll ever be.
And you know what?
I'm quite happy with that.
Then I do something that I haven't done in a very long time.
I smile.
Really and truly.
(A/N): Hope you enjoyed...I tried to lighten it up a little at the end.
Now, go ahead and review! Thanks!!