Character: Leo
Pairing: None
Rating: R
Spoilers: None really
This is not strictly cannon by the show.
Timeline is near the end of year one, to start with
and then it goes off to Never, never land.
Doesn't matter the year or the situation.
Plot Development and Beta By: Imp leosimpishgrinyahoo.ca
Disclaimer:
The characters are from the NBC, WB, Bravo, A John Wells Prod., TV show, 'The West Wing'. They own them; therefore, they do not belong to us. They are the creation of Aaron Sorkin. We only borrowed them.No copyright infringement is intended. No monetary benefit is received or anticipated.A 'grateful' and 'enormous' thanks, to the actors and actresses, who portray the characters 'brilliantly'and bring them to life in our heads. Feedback: We'd love it hear your opinion! PLEASE! It helps to improve our writing!Archived at: Summary: Leo reflects how he finds comfort in time of despair.Note: Thanks to Bev and Lynn for their helpful suggestions!!!!!
Leo is standing at his office window and watching as twilight descends on the grounds of the White House. His hand unconsciously strokes the soft nap of his Air Force blanket with his name and rank embroidered on it. It's always draped on the back of his favorite chair. Most visitors to his office think it's just a proud decoration from his time in the service, but really it's more personal than that, it's his private comfort item. When life gets really bad, he tends to gravitate to it, especially in the dark of the night. He seeks its comfort when he wants no one to see him fight his private demons. It helps him, to wrap himself into it and do his private thinking under the soft blanket, trying to right the world, in his mind.
The soft glow of his desk lamp lights the room. As the setting sun reflects a twinkle of light next to his head, he glances at a framed cartoon on the shelf and smiles softly and sadly at it. He remembers Jed teasing him about being Charlie Brown and later he gave him the cartoon as a joke. But Jed was wrong. He takes a moment to study the cartoon that shows Charlie Brown lying on the ground and Lucy, holding away the football. The irony of the cartoon is that he's more like Linus with his trusty blanket standing off to the side watching. Jed will never know about the connection. Looking down at his hand resting on the chair back, he reflects back to the times that his faithful blanket has comforted him. The times when he couldn't seek the comfort of others.
He quickly remembers to when Jenny left him, and the time shortly afterward when she completely broke his heart, as she unwaveringly told him 'no' and took his last hope for their marriage, with her. He sadly, is still living in that hotel room, he's no longer in limbo, but it made him quietly cry with sorrow, more than once, wrapped securely in his blanket in the still of the night.
He rubs the blanket more firmly, as if he needs its comfort right now, as he recalls the day where he had to publicly reveal to the nation that he was an alcoholic. It was like a self-inflicted wound, but his friend collapsing that same morning nearly caused his heart to stop, till he checked Jed for a pulse in his neck. Later in that day he was in a sad shock at Abbey's confession about his friend's illness that will one day take Jed from him. He was so beaten up by that day that he had sobbed miserably, as he held the blanket to his face to muffle the sound. He just wanted that day to have never been, it had actually physically hurt. Leo remembers lying still, as the clock struck midnight to end that awful day he was curled with his knees to his chest, his blanket wrapped over him and clutched to his chest, as his breath came in shaky pants.
He gives a soft smile remembering the one bright spot near the end of that same day, as they are leaving for the State of the Union address. That wonderful moment when he overheard Jed say that your best friend, the one that you'd trust with your life…that's your Chief of Staff. It helped keep him from seeking comfort in a bottle that night. His blanket did just as well for comfort, because that is all he has now. What a hell of a day that was!!!!
Now, with a catch in his breath, his mind flashes to the time late in the night after the shooting. His mind's eye sees him wrapped up in his blanket, shaking with aftershock. Then tears started to flow, and he cried both with the joy that his Jed was safe again and with the fear in his trembling heart that Josh would not survive. God, to be torn in half like that!
His fingers tremble recalling the night that the man he loves like a son was again almost lost to him. It was the night that Josh put his hand through the window. Was he suicidal??? God, not my son too! Scared tears of a frightened foster parent silently merge with the blanket that Christmas Eve. He'd been so close himself, once upon a time.
Then, when Mrs. Landingham was killed, leaving him all alone to guide Jed on this journey that they were all a part of, during their years in the White House, like a storm battering a rocky New England shore. He's Jed's rudder to guide him, but she was the ballast to Jed's force that filled the sails. And, with Abbey watching over all of them with her confident support, both mentally and physically. Their team was complete. With the rest of the staff as crew, they were a strong team. Now… they are minus one precious member fallen overboard and there's no way to throw her a life ring, and bring her back.
With remorse he recalls when he was told he was guilty of war crimes, even if he 'was' following orders. That he had killed eleven civilians. His mind tells him that they were possibly someone's parents and definitely someone's children. Oh God, those innocent families who suffered because of him. He really cried into his blanket in the quiet of 'that' night. He told Margaret without explanation the next morning, not to have it laundered any more. He wants his tears to remain part of it.
When Jed returned to him 'the' framed paper napkin back before Christmas, it made him cry and he again, after that long and trying day, found the comfort of this blanket, still clutching the small, framed napkin that held so much meaning, lovingly to his chest.
Stroking the blanket, he knows he has shared its comfort with his child, like the night that Mallory came to visit his office, when Sam didn't return to her from California, seeking her Dad for a shoulder to cry on. Sitting her on the couch, he wrapped her up in the soft, comforting blanket and held her tight. She snuggled into its warm comfort, leaning into his side, unknowingly letting her tears join his on the blanket.
In his reflections, he includes the time he napped under it during Zoey's kidnapping and then 'his' Margaret woke him up and he snapped at her, "What are you, my mother?" With sorrow he remembers thinking as she woke him, where is a guy's Mom when he really needs some comfort in this cruel world? He remembers rubbing his stubbly beard against the fringe of the blanket, trying to recall her soft touch on his cheek, just before he sat up tucking the blanket onto his lap.
Sadly, he recalls when his hero Kenny, lost his halo. It made him cry with deep sorrow and ultimate disappointment. It seems that all his heroes in life make him cry. He had cried with Jed and he later sought the comfort of the blanket to shed more tears of grief.
But now only the blanket knows how often he wraps it snugly around his shoulders giving him the hug-like comfort he seeks, as he sits alone in the darkest hours in the dead of night. With his tears rolling quietly down his time-lined face to once again be absorbed, as usual, by the Air Force blanket.
After his late night cuddles with the blanket he usually puts it back on the chair, just so. It's not that he doesn't want anyone to know he was resting, but that the chair is its place of honor. Once in a quiet moment, he mentioned out loud to himself that it wasn't like when he was a small kid, and he dragged his ratty blanket around with him whenever he was tired or upset. At the time he let it slip, he was being instructed by a certain red head in the next room, to cover up and rest for awhile, when he had to give in to the pain of a headache, so… he's pretty sure that Margaret, by now, knows that he finds some sort of comfort in it. Then again, he knows that if he leaves his blanket mussed or crumpled on the couch, she'll understand it's his way of hinting he's feeling better, for the use of it. Just another of their silent communications, she knows him so well. Margaret always takes good care of him, and his blanket, making sure it gets folded the right way, and puts it back on his chair, just so.
With a final pat to the blanket, as if to the shoulder of a dear friend, he's so thankful that tonight he's not in need of its consolation. He takes solace in its presence, knowing the blanket is there if he feels the need to seek its comfort, alone in the dark of the night.
The End
blessings
chipmunk
I would love it hear your opinion! PLEASE!
chipmunk aka: Betty Lou Riley riley2bright.net
Home web MsoNormal>Posted: May 15, 2004