The sound of broken glass vibrated through Roxie's head, and it distinctly reminded her of her childhood- the sound of broken glass and harsh yelling. She remembered when she was little, when she would hide in her closet at night, just so she wouldn't have to listen to all the fighting and screaming. Roxie would wrap her small arms around her knees as she sat in that dark closet, wishing she could just be somewhere else- someone else. Now, as she got older, Roxie began to realize that the bruises and cuts would always heal and fade away, but the memories would last forever. She had never wanted people to feel sorry for her, because she saw no point in having people pity her- it wasn't like it made anything better. So she had never let anyone see how much she really hurt. She had accepted her life for what it was- drunk, junkie parents who didn't give a fuck, and a crazy sister with a violent temper directed mainly at her.
"You stupid little bitch!" her mother screamed, picking up half-full coffee cup off the table and hurling it against the wall. Roxie winced as it shattered, and sticky brown fluid streamed down the wall. Her mother always resorted to throwing things. "What the fuck were you thinking?"
"I'm….I'm sorry," Roxie choked out. "I didn't mean to hurt anyone-"
"Oh, I didn't mean to hurt anyone," her mother said, imitating her in a high, whiny voice. She placed her hands on her hips and sneered at her daughter. "What exactly were you trying to accomplish, then?" Roxie was silent. "Fine. Don't talk. I'll do the talking. You've ruined everything between me and Jake! You think he's going to want to come back to me when he knows what a stupid little liar I have for a daughter?"
"Well, you didn't even ask me what I wanted!" Roxie suddenly yelled out, standing up from her chair. "You abandoned me to run off with your loser boyfriend! I had no where to go, Mom! It was lucky they contacted Aunt Tammy, or else I would have been out on my ass!" she screamed, tears forming in her eyes. "You chose Jake over me! He stole you from me!"
Her mother stared at her. "What are you talking about? Don't give me that shit. I did you a favor by disappearing!"
Roxie shook her head and dragged her hand across her face, brushing away her tears. "Favor?" she laughed bitterly. "I guess you did, Mom. You did me a huge favor by leaving me all by myself. But I guess I've always been alone, haven't I? You've always ditched me for something- your boyfriends, your drugs- everything in the world was more important to you than me. Well, I'm sorry I seem to have inconvenienced you by simply being alive. I'm sorry I made a mistake- but it's not like you haven't made your share of them."
"A mistake? So that's what this was? Some pathetic cry for help? Mommy wasn't paying enough attention to you, so you went and accused her boyfriend of fucking molesting you? You think that was going to make things better?" Jana cried, her eyes blazing. "Let me tell you something. You think I'm a horrible mother? I put a fucking roof over your head, and I've provided for you all your pathetic little life. You know what my mother did? She locked me in a closet for days without food. She burned cigarettes on my arms. And my father? He actually molested me. I didn't have to lie about that."
"So that makes everything ok? Just because your childhood sucked, you have to punish me for it?" Roxie asked. "I'm sorry your parents were horrible people, but you should know better. All I want is a mother. But I guess that's asking too much."
"I am your mother."
"Yeah. And a junkie. And an alcoholic. Look at you. You're pathetic. Those needle marks on your arms. The alcohol on your breath. You're disgusting," Roxie spat out. "So go on and be engaged to Jake. But when he finds out what you really are, he's going to drop you so fast your head is going to spin. And you're going to end up all alone, just like you deserve!"
Jana was absolutely furious. "Well, you won't be around to see that, because I want you to get the fuck out of my house." She reached over and grabbed Roxie's jacket. "Jake is coming home from jail, and I want you gone before he gets here. And this time, I don't want you ever coming back. I've taken care of you for long enough. So if you hate me so much, go and grow up and take care of yourself." She flung the jacket at Roxie.
Roxie caught her jacket and stared at her mother for a second. Her mother's eyes were blazing with fury, but Roxie thought she saw a glimmer of sadness. Maybe, just maybe, something Roxie said got through to her. But Roxie wasn't going to wait around to find out. She was leaving, because she didn't need her mother, or her shit, or anyone in her damn family, for that matter. They were clearly only bringing her down. She'd just be one of those drifters- without a family, but so much better off.
"Goody-bye, Mother," Roxie said slowly, opening the front door. Her mother just plopped down on the sofa and took a sip of gin and toxic, looking miserable and confused. Roxie suddenly felt sorry for her, watching her sit there and probably about to drink herself until she couldn't stand. Her life was so empty, so pointless. Roxie actually hoped that Jake would stick around for awhile, just to keep her mother a little happy.
Roxie took one last look at her pathetic excuse for a mother, and shut the door behind her.
Isabel set the phone down and shuffled a few papers around on her desk, trying to keep things in order. She didn't really have much of a purpose for her office-mostly to just handle money and try to appear like she was running a legit business when strangers came around. But Isabel wasn't ashamed of what she did- she was actually quite proud. Prostitution was illegal, of course, but Isabel had always thought it shouldn't be. If women wanted to sell their bodies, it was their business, right? There were plenty of girls completely eager to start turning tricks- it was fairly easy and earned great money. Isabel had done a bit back in the day, but she was management now, so she really didn't have to.
Isabel stood up from behind her desk, eased around it, and walked out the double doors of her office. She wandered to the staircase and climbed up it. She walked slowly down the hallways, ignoring the loud moans and groans coming from the various rooms. Once she reached Manny's door, she lifted her hand and knocked gently. There was no response, so Isabel assumed she wasn't in there with a customer. She opened the door and stepped in.
Rubber headed motor junky, run me down and try to stomp me
Throw my life away, and I'll be worthless just like you
Somewhere now a baby's crying, down the road his mother's dying
Shot a line and blew her mind and now she's turning blue
The lights were dim, and a soft pink glow filled the room from the lamp on the bed stand. It took Isabel a moment to comprehend exactly what she was seeing. Manny was lying on the bed on her back, and even in the dim lighting she could see she was a grotesque color of blue. A needle was stuck in her arm, and Isabel put a hand over her mouth in shock. She had only had one girl overdose in all her years, and it had been horrible. The smell of death had hung in the air for weeks.
Isabel ran over to the bed and pulled Manny up. She removed the needle from her arm and knew immediately what it was- heroin. Manny's skin was cold and clammy, so Isabel screamed for help. She hadn't known Manny for that long, but she had grown quite fond of her. There was certain innocence, a purity about her when she had first arrived. But now that was tainted, and this was what was left. A junkie and a girl that was seemed older than she really was.
Don't you throw your life away, just wait until another day
Don't you throw your life away, cause baby I can feel it
Don't you ever compromise it, don't you even realize it
Don't you throw your life away, cause baby I can feel it, now
A few girls rushed in, and they managed to revive her, but just barely. Her normal color returned, and she regained consciousness, and after a few minutes, she was fine. She was actually fine, as fine as she could get. The other girls left to get back to work, leaving Isabel alone with a shaken Manny. They sat on the bed in silence, both reflecting on what had happened. Finally, Isabel spoke.
"I think you should leave, Manny."
Manny looked at her with wide eyes. "No! I- I….no. I can't leave."
"I won't let you stay around here so you can go and kill yourself on drugs. You don't belong here," Isabel said quietly, reaching out and stroking her hand. Manny shook her head.
"I…I don't have anywhere to go," she admitted, her voice cracking as tears came to her eyes.
Trip and fall, I'm sure you all can tell me what is on the wall
Behind the liquor store where you get smacked up all the time
Perfect little life you wasted, overdosed and that death you tasted
Scared you back into yourself, and now you walk the line
"Go home."
"I can't!" Manny burst out. "You….don't understand. Please let me stay. I promise, I'm off everything as of now. I won't do anything ever again. Just please let me stay," she begged, looking at her with large, watery eyes.
Isabel was quiet for a moment. She didn't really believe Manny, but she couldn't just kick this girl into the streets, because that was where the real trouble began. She sighed. "Fine. You can stay. But no more of this, alright? You may think you need it, but you don't." Manny nodded, and suddenly reached out and hugged Isabel tightly. She wasn't Manny's mother, but she was the closest thing Manny had right then. So Isabel hugged her back.
Don't you throw your life away, just wait until another day
Don't you throw your life away, cause baby I can feel it
Don't you ever compromise it, don't you even realize it
Don't you throw your life away, cause baby I can feel it, now
Jimmy pulled the car to a stop in front of the large fraternity house on campus, and killed the engine. For a long moment, Craig, Marco, Jimmy, and Spin simply stared at the house, which was bursting with people and vibrating with music. A typical frat party, but the boys weren't there for a good time. Marco finally cleared his throat from the back seat, and leaned forward. "Guys, this isn't a good idea."
"God, you are such a major wimp, Marco," Spin snapped from the passenger seat, glaring out the window intently. "Why don't you just stay in the car and fix your makeup in the mirror, ok?"
There was a tense silence, and Marco and Craig exchanged a glance. They both understood that Spin was obviously hurting over Paige's suicide attempt, so they both had decided not to take anything he said personally-even when Spin had basically accused Craig of being an uptight transsexual (he wasn't sure where that had come from). Craig had been thinking about talking to Spin about his kiss with Roxie, but he had decided that now was probably the worst possible time to bring it up.
"He's right, Spin," Craig finally said. "Look, maybe we should just go back to the hospital and see how Paige is doing. Don't you think it's more important to be there for your girlfriend right now, as opposed to going around and trying to start shit with college boys?" Spin grunted from the front seat.
"God, you guys are such pussies!" Spin cried, shaking his head in amazement as his friend's blatant spinelessness. "Since when are you guy's such wimps? If you're not going back me up, why did you even come along?"
Marco glanced at Craig. Why had they come? Because Spin and Jimmy had pulled up in front of his house, Spin had come stomping across his lawn, and pounded on the door, yelling and demanding Marco come with them. Marco hadn't even wanted to come-he had perfectly content on sitting home and coloring with his little sister. But no. Spin had basically dragged Marco out of his house, and his sister had gotten scared and started screaming. His parents had probably called the police because they thought he was kidnapped or something.
"For the free car ride and male-bonding experience?" Craig joked with a shrug, trying to lighten the tension that filled the car. Spin turned and glared at him, unbuckled his seat belt, and jumped out of the car. The door slammed shut behind him, and Jimmy turned to Craig.
"So not the time, dude. So not the time," Jimmy said, unbuckling his seat belt. "Guys, he's really upset. He's going to regret everything he said and did tonight, believe me."
"It's hard to tell," Marco pointed out. "He's acting like, possessed."
"His girlfriend just tried to kill herself," Craig said. "You think he's going to be turning cartwheels and skipping around like he's having a gay old time?"
"No," Marco said, frowning. "But he's crazy, ok? I think we should stop him."
"What do you suggest we do, then? Maul him and drag him back here?" Craig asked, shaking his head. "Look, he's out for blood. But Jimmy, I have to agree with Marco- he's literally gone insane." Jimmy looked thoughtful, and then reached over to open the door. Marco sat up, staring at him. "You're going with him?"
"Of course," Jimmy said. "We've all seen Spin fight- he looks like he's having multiple spasms or something. He's going to need our help. Look, we can't just bail out on him. He's my best friend, and I've always got his back. If we're there, he might not do something entirely stupid." With that, he pulled open the door and jumped out, hurrying to follow Spin across the lawn toward the house. Marco and Craig glanced at each other again, silently agreeing they should find new friends, because the ones they had were pretty fucked up. But they both got out, because Jimmy was right- if you didn't have your friends, who did you have?
Craig and Marco walked into the Frat house, which was crowded with bodies and booze. They stopped in the front hall and glanced around. They had completely lost sight of Jimmy and Spin. Craig sighed. "Excellent. We've managed to lose them already."
Marco shrugged. "Well, we'll find them. Why don't we just walk around and enjoy ourselves until we do?" He patted Craig on the shoulder and walked off, and Craig rolled his eyes and followed them. Almost immediately, a bubbly blonde bounced up to Marco, holding a beer in her hand and grinning like Brad Pitt had just entered the room. "Hi, cutie!" she chirped. "Where did you come from?"
Marco shifted uneasily. "Um…hey."
Craig smirked. For some unknown reason, girls just flocked to Marco. Maybe it was that gay-vibe that girls get that automatically makes them assume they've found a new shopping partner and another "girlfriend" to do their hair. But not this girl. By the way she was groping Marco's arm and practically salivating over him, she was obviously looking for more than a friend.
The girl batted her insanely long eye lashes and threw back the rest of her beer. She smiled and held out the empty can and shook it at him. "Would you get me another? I'm so thirsty!"
Marco smiled weakly and nodded, obviously eager to get away from her. "Sure…I'll be right back," he said, hurrying off. The girl turned to Craig, and he could smell the alcohol on her breath. She stumbled a little and grinned stupidly at him. Craig made a face, realizing how unattractive drunk girls actually were. "He's a hottie! Does he have a girlfriend?" she asked.
Craig thought for a second. "Um….kind of," he said, wondering if a boyfriend counted.
"What's his name?"
"Marco," Craig yelled, trying to be heard over the music. "But word of advice- you're barking up the wrong tree." He patted the girl on the arm. But she obviously didn't get it, because she just stared at him and then grinned stupidly, as if it were a funny joke. Craig smiled at her and walked away, not feeling like bursting her bubble. Plus, it would be amusing to see how Marco would handle having a drunk girl falling all over him.
Craig wandered into another room, where a few large, burly guys were gathered around a beer bong, cheering and clapping like they were at the damn Super Bowl. Craig rolled his eyes and sat down on a tattered couch. Usually, if he was at a party, he would be stoked to drink it up, but tonight he just wasn't in the mood. Suddenly, someone caught his eye across the room. A tall girl with long, straight, black hair, pale skin, and that whole "fuck-the-world- I-don't-give-a-shit- about anything" look going for her. An alternative chic, clearly, but not one of those who tries way too hard to appear different. She was walking toward him, and she finally plopped down next to him. She sighed and looked over at Craig, who quickly glanced away, because it was kind of creepy to have someone just staring at you.
"Having fun?" she asked dryly. Craig glanced at her in surprise.
"Uh…..not particularly," he said with a shrug. "My friends kind of dragged me here…"
"Join the club," she said, rolling her eyes. Craig noticed that she had her eyebrow pierced as well as her tongue.
"My friend had about two beers and fucking passed out on the porch." She rolled her eyes. "Frat parties," she said, nodding to the boys all around the beer bong, taking turns. "Just a way for horny, mindless idiots to gather together and drink themselves into oblivion. Pathetic." Craig smirked, and she glanced at him. "Let me guess- you're in a frat, right?"
Craig shook his head. "No. Actually I'm in-"Don't say high school. "An….anti-fraternity." The girl glanced at him curiously. "We're totally against fraternities. We meet once a week in….a basement."
The girl stared at him. "So, one of your "anti-fraternity" activities is attending a frat party?" Craig just shrugged. "Right….well, that sounds interesting. I guess. I never heard of an anti-fraternity, but I'll just take your word for it" She reached into her leather bag and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. She pulled one out and offered it to him. "Want one?"
Craig shook his head. He had tried smoking a few times, simply because everyone else did it, so he figured it must be appealing. But when he had actually inhaled, it felt like fire traveling down his windpipe, so Craig had pretty much gave up on smoking before he could even start. "Nah. But thanks." She shrugged and lit one.
"I've been trying to quit for ages," the girl admitted, blowing out some smoke directly in Craig's face, and he resisted the urge to cough. "But what do you know- their actually addictive!" Craig smiled. The girl glanced at him. "Hey, what's your name?"
"Craig."
"Tessa. Do you want to go somewhere a little more….quiet? The music and the overwhelming amount of testosterone floating in the air is giving me a killer headache," she said loudly, attempting to be heard over the music that had suddenly come on, a pop-like song with a whiny, high-pitched girl singing. "God, what is this shit? So you in or what?" She stood up, and stared down at him. Craig nodded and stood up.
"Sure." Tessa grabbed his hand, and Craig liked how it felt- her hand was warm and soft. She pulled him up the staircase to the second floor, which had slightly less people. Tessa glanced around and then ducked into an empty room with a couple couches and a T.V. Craig followed her in, and shut the door behind him. Tessa plopped down on one of the couches and smirked. "Are you nervous or something?"
Craig looked surprised, and shook his head. Ok, he was a little nervous, but he wasn't about to admit it to a girl that obviously didn't know what nervous meant. "No....are you nervous?" he shot back, sitting down next to her. Tessa smiled slightly.
"No," she said. "I never get nervous. You're really cute, you know that? I love your hair," she said, reaching out and twirling a strand of his hair around her fingers. She moved slightly closer to him. "You play the guitar, right?"
Craig looked at her. "Yeah. How did you know?"
"I can just tell," Tessa said with a shrug. Her eyes were really blue and bright, and her lips were full. Craig blinked and looked down at his hands. "Musicians give off this vibe, you know?" Craig nodded.
"I like you, Craig," Tessa said suddenly, leaning closer to him. "You're special, I can tell." And she kissed him. No warning, nothing. She just leaned right in and kissed him. Craig had to hand in to this girl- she was bold. Most girls got all shy and timid, but Tessa just dived right in there- and Craig liked it. The rational part of brain was telling him to stop her, but the horny part of him was kissing her right back. She leaned back and smiled softly at him. She took off her leather jacket and tossed it on the ground, and Craig immediately wondered if she wanted to have sex. God, he was a horny bastard. He really was. Then she wrapped her pale arms around his neck and kissed him harder, and Craig didn't stop her. He was weak as hell.
Finally, after a few minutes of intense making out, something finally clicked in Craig's brain. He suddenly pushed Tessa away, and she frowned at him. "What?"
Craig smiled sheepishly, and moved over to the other end of the couch. "You…you just made me realize something." She just stared at him. He sighed. "I…I have this problem with cheating on my girlfriend. And there must be something wrong if I can just come to party and start making out with some random girl that I've known for five minutes. If I really loved my girlfriend, I wouldn't be here with you. I have to break up with her," he said suddenly, nodding to himself. "She deserves better. Plus, I think I'm in love with her best friend,"
Tessa nodded. "Oh…you're one hell of a guy, you know that? Making out with random girls and falling in love with your girlfriend's best friend. Boy, she picked a winner," she said sarcastically. Craig shrugged. "Alright. We don't have to do anything. But just so you know, I was going to sleep with you. This party is totally depressing. But I have something that will make it more fun." She reached into her bag and pulled out some weed and a bowl. She waved it at him. "Care to indulge?"
Craig shrugged. What the hell? Either that or go down and watch some girl attempt to dry hump Marco. "Alright," he agreed, and Tessa smiled at him.
"Spin, maybe he's not even here," Jimmy pointed out, taking a sip of his beer. He wasn't even sure how he had got it, but he drank it anyway. "We should go. See how Paige is doing."
"No!" Spin said, shaking his head. "He's here. This is his Frat. I asked around." He spotted a girl and called out to her. "Hey! Do you know where Dean is?"
The girl gave him a weird look. "Who's Dean?"
Spin sighed. "Never mind."
"Look, I know your upset," Jimmy said reasonably a minute later. "But this isn't the way to deal with this. Maybe Dean didn't even do anything. Maybe Paige was just depressed or something. She did have a hard time when you broke up with her…" he said, trailing off. He realized that's not how he wanted it to come out. "Spin, I didn't mean-"
"No, I get it," Spin said, glaring at him. "This is my fault, right? You don't think Dean had anything to do with this, do you?"
Jimmy looked down at his feet. "I'm not…sure."
"Well, I am," Spin said defensively. "Paige and I just got back together. Hazel said she ditched out on plans with Dean to be with me. It all makes perfect sense. If someone hurt Hazel, wouldn't you want to defend her?"
Jimmy bit his lip. "Well, yeah…but Hazel and I aren't together anymore, remember?"
"That's not the point," Spin said, rolling his eyes. "Look, we are going to find him," he said in determination, setting down his beer. "Hey, you!" He called out to a blonde girl who was walking by with her friend. "Do you know a Dean?"
"Dean?" the girl squealed. "Sure! Major hottie, soccer star?'
Spin clenched his jaw. "Yes. That would be him. Is he here?"
The girl nodded. "Yeah. I think he was outside on the porch a few minutes ago." The girl smiled flirtatiously at Jimmy, winked, and waltzed away with her friend. Jimmy shuddered, but Spin was bursting with excitement. "See, dude! I knew he was here! Come on. Let's go. We need to find Marco and Craig." Spin set down his beer and hurried toward the back porch, and Jimmy reluctantly followed.
They walked around looking for Marco for awhile, and when they entered the living room, Jimmy stopped short. Spin bumped into him, and scowled. "Dude, I'm walking here. Can you…" he trailed off when he spotted what Jimmy was staring at. "Oh, God. What the hell?"
Standing on top of a table was Marco, without a shirt, and he was grinding with this girl and wearing a really huge, weird hat that Spinner couldn't even begin to describe. The girl with him was obviously drunk, and so was Marco. But he was laughing and dancing like there was no tomorrow, and he and the girl were all over each other. Spin frowned at Jimmy. "Hey, maybe Marco's straight when he's drunk and gay when he isn't," he said with a shrug. Jimmy looked at him and rolled his eyes. "Shut up, Spin."
They walked over to the table. "Hey, Marco!" Jimmy called, but Marco was way to into his dancing to notice Jimmy. "Marco!" he yelled. Finally, Marco spotted him and grinned.
"Hey! Come on, Jimmy!" Marco yelled, waving his hands in the air like an idiot. "Join us. It's sooooooo fun!" And then he giggled like a school girl. He actually giggled. Jimmy and Spin glanced at each other. Marco reached out and grabbed his hand. "Come on! Get up here!"
"Yeah, Jimmy," Spin said, nudging his friend in the shoulder. "Get up there and grind with him! You know you want it." Jimmy just scowled at him.
"He's the best!" the girl cried to them, and she grabbed Marco and kissed him hard on the mouth. "Isn't he the best?!"
"Dude, we found Dean!" Spin called up. Marco glanced at him.
"Who?"
"Dean! The entire reason we came here!" Just as he yelled this, Marco lost his footing and fell off the table to the floor, dragging the girl down with him. They laid there for a minute, and then they began rolling around and laughing like it was the funniest thing that had ever happened. Jimmy sighed and turned to Spin. "He is wasted, man. We should just leave him here with that girl, because it's probably going to be the only action he gets from a girl- ever. Hey, Marco! Where is Craig!" He yelled, nudging Marco with his shoe.
"He-He's upstairs…I think. I saw him go up there…but….I can't remember!" he yelled, and then he and the girl began laughing again. Jimmy and Spin soon knew it was time to leave when the girl started licking Marco's face, so they quickly turned and walked away, leaving Marco and the girl making out on the floor. They climbed up the staircase to the second floor, which was considerably quieter than the downstairs, but not by much. Spin and Jimmy wandered around until they finally came to a room at the end of the hall. Jimmy opened the door and walked in, and saw Craig sitting on a couch with some pale-gothic looking chick. They were just sitting there, slumped over on the couch, staring at nothing.
"Craig. Hey, man. Look, we found Dean, so…" Jimmy said, and Craig finally picked up his head and stared at Jimmy.
"Dean?" Craig said. "Guys, violence isn't the answer. Tessa, here, helped me realize that…" he said, reaching over slowly and stroking a strand of the girl's long, silky, black hair. "Isn't she magnificent?"
"Give peace a chance," Tessa said seriously, and then Craig and her glanced at each other, and began laughing in this slow, quiet way, like it was some private joke.
Jimmy groaned and ran his hands over his face. "Did you drink, too?"
Craig nodded seriously. "Yes….no," he said solemnly. "I didn't have a drop, I swear."
"Then what's wrong with you?"
Tessa glanced at Craig and began giggling, much like Marco had. She was stroking his shirt like it was a damn dog or something. "Let's just say we had a nice little visit with Mary-Jane."
"You smoked weed?" Spin asked. Craig just chuckled to himself. "Man, we didn't come here to get messed up; we came to get back at Dean!"
"And I…wish you luck with that," he said. Then he frowned and scratched his head." Wait, what were we talking about?"
Spin and Jimmy slowly backed out of the room, leaving Craig and his little hippie chick by themselves. Once they shut the door behind them, Spin banged on the wall in frustration. "Those losers! We came here with a purpose, and we got ditched for some girls! I mean, even Marco, who doesn't even like girls!"
Jimmy sighed. "Well, their not going to be much help now. Marco's dancing like a freaking back-up dancer on some table, and Craig is sitting around, being stoned and discussing world philosophies."
Roxie was officially screwed.
After her mother had practically shoved her out the front door, Roxie had wandered around for a bit, feeling sorry for herself and just basically getting all depressed and suicidal. Finally, she had ended up at Ashley's house, where she had interrupted an adorable little family moment for the Kerwin- Issacs bunch. Toby, his dad, Ash, and Ash's mom had all been sitting around watching an old movie, munching on popcorn and laughing gaily as if the world couldn't get any more fucking perfect because they were all together. That only depressed Roxie further, because she realized that, as gay as they were, she would never have precious family moments like that. Roxie had always been slightly jealous of Ashley- she had a great future, great friends, a wonderful boyfriend that Roxie was madly in love with herself, and now apparently a great family that actually loved each other. That was a foreign concept to Roxie, and now she couldn't help resent Ash even more.
"Roxie! Hey!" Ash had said cheerfully when she had answered the door, smiling and looking calm and relaxed. Roxie knew she looked like shit it comparison- her eyes were red from the crying she had done, which she would never admit to anyone, and her blonde hair was all tousled and messed up from the wind.
Die, bitch! Roxie thought. But she forced a smile. "Ash, hey! Um….I ….I have a little problem."
"Oh. What is it?" Ash asked, staring at her with wide eyes as she leaned against the doorframe. Roxie shifted uncomfortably when she saw that Toby, his dad, and Ash's Mom were all staring at her from the couch. She cleared her throat. "Can you come outside for a sec?" Ash nodded in understanding and stepped outside, shutting the door behind her.
"Well, see, the thing is…I…." she babbled, trying to figure out the best way to explain it. "Um….my Mom kicked me out….forever."
Ash's mouth fell open. "Are you kidding? Oh, Roxie!"
"Yeah….isn't it pathetic?" Roxie said, shuffling her feet and sticking her hands in her pockets. "As if being pregnant wasn't enough, we can now add homeless to the shit list. Anyway…..I was kind of hoping you could help me figure out something to do. I mean, I'm kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place here." She could just sleep at the playground- she's done it before. One time, when her mother and George had been screaming at each other for an hour, Roxie had run out and had spent the night on a park bench. When she had woken up, she had found six dollars next to her, and someone had thrown a half-eaten cheeseburger on her.
Ash put a hand on her shoulder. "God, that sucks," she said. "What happened?"
Roxie shrugged. "Oh….things were said, feelings were hurt, my mother's a wretched hag….the usual. The point is, I'm kind of out on my ass right now."
"Well, you can definitely stay here for a night or two, before my Mom starts asking questions. Actually…" she said, her eyes lighting up. "I have an excellent idea! Hold on one sec." She dashed inside and reappeared with a paper. "My Mom and I got in a fight this morning, so I was trying to piss her off by pretending to browse through the apartment listings and threatining to move out. But here…you can get your own apartment!"
Roxie snorted. "Yeah, and I'll just pay with the imaginary bundle of money I have in my pocket."
Ash rolled her eyes. "Alright, so money might be a small problem. But we can take care of that tomorrow. But attempt to sound optimistic, alright? Do you have a better idea?" she asked, fixing Roxie with a look that said I-know-you-don't-so-stop-being-so-bitchy. God, Roxie hated it when Ash was right, which was most of the time. She didn't have a better idea- actually, she had no ideas.
"Well….no," Roxie admitted, biting her lip. "That's an ok idea, I guess, but let's face it- it's never going to happen. Who is going to loan money to a pregnant teenager who got kicked out of her house? And who the hell is stupid enough to give me an actual apartment?"
Ash folded up the newspaper and patted her friend on the shoulder. "We'll figure out something, don't worry. Now, get your butt of the porch and come inside, ok? We have an apartment to find!""This is disgusting!" Emma hissed to J.T, nudging him in the arm. "You're actually enjoying this?" She nodded toward the large screen at the drive-in, where a gory, disgusting action flick was playing. Emma found in simply nauseating, but J.T was apparently mesmerized by it. He hadn't taken his eyes off the screen in the last hour. Emma, on the other hand, was trying to refrain from throwing up all over her new white peasant shirt.
"Fake blood and gore is an art form, Emma," he said, not even looking at her. "An art form only understood by a rare few. Here, if you don't like it, go get me a refill on this popcorn, k?" He shoved his empty bag toward her, and Emma rolled her eyes and snatched it out of his hand. She wondered exactly why she though going to see a movie with J.T was a good idea. One, she really had nothing better to do- no boyfriend to cuddle with or best friend to gossip with. Two, she was trying to get her mind off Jay and the infamous "kiss". The past couple of months had been a complete roller coaster of emotions- ending her relationship with Chris, rekindling her friendship with Manny, her feelings for Sean, her "slut" phase, the rape, and of course, finally getting back with Sean. But her "thing" with Jay- or whatever the hell it was- was definitely the most confusing thing. She didn't actually like rude, obnoxious Jay, did she? She actually thought she did.
Emma walked toward the concession stand, and suddenly she spotted Jay and a few friends nearby, talking loudly and just plain being obnoxious. She stopped for a second and glanced at them, and Jay spotted her. He jumped off his car and nodded at her. "Well, it's Emma Nelson, everyone!"
Emma blushed, wondering if he was going to announce to the entire drive-in that they had kissed. She slowly walked over to him. "Hey, Jay."
"We gotta talk," he said, grabbing her arm and pulling her aside. He turned to face her and placed both hands on either of her arms, and stared intently into her eyes. "I like you, Emma."
Emma smiled uneasily. If she wasn't mistaken, Jay was drunk. "About the other night…"
He grinned. "Yeah. About the other night…." Then, he leaned in a kissed her, without even saying anything. Emma's eyes widened, and she shoved him away. She could believe he would have the nerve to do that! His stupid friends were laughing and nudging each other, as if Jay was some major stud.
"Jay!" she said. "What are you doing?"
"Oh, come on," he said, slurring slightly. He rested his hands on his shoulders and tried to kiss her again, but Emma pushed him away.
"God, what are you thinking? You're completely drunk."
Jay shrugged. "Yeah. Your point? Come on, Emma. Is this cuz of Sean? Who cares about him?"
"I care about him," she said, shaking her head. "Look, I'm not ready to start anything with you. Not yet….I'm just…really confused, ok?" It was the truth- things were completely confusing lately. She wasn't sure if she wanted to be with Sean, or Jay, or anyone for that matter. Maybe it was just time Emma forgot about having a boyfriend and try being single. It would be a pleasant change.
"Oh, you're confused?" Jay said, scoffing, throwing up his hands and waving them around incoherently. "'Well, why don't we all just stop what we're doing and wait for Emma to stop being confused? If you're still hung up on SEan, then why don't you just forget about us, alright? It was just a fucking kiss, ok?"
"Why are you acting like this?" Emma asked quietly, but then wondered why she had expected anything different.
"You know, just forget it, alright? You're a prude princess that thinks the whole world revolves around her," he said, shaking his head and walking unsteadily back to the car. Alex was leaning against it, and he walked over and slung an arm around her. "Besides, I have Alex here. Why the hell would I need you?" His friends laughed, and Alex smiled smugly and wrapped her arms around his waist. Emma's cheeks burned with humiliation.
"Fine. I have no idea what I saw in you, anyway!" she snapped. "You're a rude, fucked-up loser who acts all tough when he's just a scared little baby inside."
Jay looked angry. "Yeah, well, I only kissed you because I…I thought it would be funny to mess around with Sean's girlfriend. So don't fucking think you're special or anything. You think you're so fucking perfect and you have all your dumb morals..."
Emma shook her head, wondering why she was even still standing there. She didn't need this. She had been right about Jay all along- he was an asshole, incapable of human emotions. She must have been temporarily insane to think she even remotely had feelings for him. She looked at him now. Standing there, drunk, and completely all over Alex, the girl he had called a "heartless bitch" just a few days before. Ugh. What was she thinking?
She turned sharply on her heel and walked toward the concession stand, leaving Jay and his lame friends at their car. As she stepped into line, she scolded herself once more for being such a complete idiot. Jay was Jay, and he always would be. The kiss obviously meant nothing to him- he'd just done it for kicks. She slipped her hair over her shoulder and decided to forget Jay even existed.
Who needs Jay, anyway? She told herself. Not me.
Author's Note- Not too much action, but it will get better. I put a song in there, only because i like song fics and simply felt like it. Thanks for all the reviews! Keep reading and giving your thoughts! THanks!