It's been two months, two months of school, two months of heart breaking memories. Survival, he isn't completely sure how he's alive, breathing, at this very moment. He isn't sure why he's here at the one place that reminds him of her, the one spot.

It hasn't changed. The tree still spouts pink and yellow flowers; the grass still feels soft against his bare feet. He can still feel the cool breeze at dusk and when he closes his eyes he can see her smile wide, see her eyes glisten. Nothing truly has changed, not when he sits here, not when he allows himself to believe and to hope. Nothing has really changed but for the fact that they aren't together, that she loves his best friend and the small detail that she died. He shakes his head, escaping reality makes everything what he dreams it could be.

"Lily." He whispers to himself picking up a yellow flower that slowly fell to the ground.

"Lily"

"Lily Ann"

"Lilly Ann Evans." He says smiling, a smile that quickly fades. A smile that never lasted long since his seventh and final year at Hogwarts."

"Lily Ann Potter."

"Hey you."

It doesn't matter how crazy he seems. It doesn't matter that he's talking to air because when he closes his eyes and leans back against the tree's trunk, he can feel her presence, hear her childish laughter.

"It's been a while. So long, too long."

"Don't let it happen again, you hear me. It's been too… long."

"REMUS!"

"What do you want, Lily?"

"You're late! You were supposed to meet me an hour ago."

"I'm sorry. I got…"

"Held up?"

"Yes, held up."

"You know there's going to be a day when I won't make your excuses for you."

"Blame Sirius for my tardiness. Sirius and James, it's their fault."

"Of course it's their fault. Nothing can ever be Remus's fault."

"Look, I said I was sorry!"

"Don't yell at me. I get enough shrieking at home!"

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry, just be there."

"I'll always be there and you know it."

"It'll be like this forever?"

"Will you be eleven forever?"

"If I can help it. And you will too because I won't let you grow up without me."

"I don't think it's possible for you to not grow up."

"Anything is possible, Remus. If you believe hard enough, anything is possible."

"Will you teach me?"

"To believe?"

"Yes, will you teach me to believe?"

"I'll try. No! I will! Yes, Remus I'll teach you to believe."

"Thank you."

"No problem, Dahling. I'd do anything for you."

"And why is that?"

"Because, you're my best friend and that's what best friends do for each other."

"Help them believe?"

"Yes, they help them believe. And they pour each other pumpkin juice."

"I pour you pumpkin juice. You never pour me anything."

"You don't drink pumpkin juice. I would pour it if you did."

"I'm just saying."

"Well don't! If it's my job to help you believe the least you can do is pour my juice."

"I already pour your juice."

"Good, then it's settled."

"You're crazy, you know that, Lily?"

"Of course I am. Would you have me any other way?"

"No, I wouldn't change a thing about you."

"It's good to know."

"How's life been treating you?"

"I bet it's perfect. You were made for perfection."

"I still can't believe you married James Potter. Even though I knew it was coming its still unbelievable."

"Harry, he's a wonderful kid. Drinks a lot of juice."

"I pour your pumpkin juice at every meal."

"It's still you're favorite, right?"

"Of course it is. You've loved it since you were eleven. I'm being silly."

"Lily Ann Potter. It's still so hard for me to believe."

"I miss you."

"I do."

"I love you. Do you love me, too?"

"Once, a long time ago, before you grew up and before I stopped growing down, you did. You fell in love with me when you were thirteen. Thirteen and beautiful."

"I don't want to leave. I want to stay in school forever."

"Lily it's only summer holiday."

"I don't care. I don't care! I want to stay here. I want to stay with you."

"We'll visit each other. And write all the time."

"It's not the same. I need you here every second of every day."

"You'll do fine without me. And then in September you'll be happy to see me."

"I'll always be happy to see you because… because…"

"Because?"

"Because, I love you. I love you, Remus."

"You're thirteen, Lily. How do you know you love me?"

"Because I can feel it, in my heart and in my soul. I feel it in my stomach, in the way I feel like dying because I have to leave you."

"You're so dramatic."

"Of course, and you're old. Old and tragic."

"You're wild. A wild and crazy flower."

"But I'm your wild and crazy flower."

"Of course."

"And you love me?"

"I… I…"

"Not sure?"

"I'm not sure what love is."

"Love is simple really. If you can't live without me than you probably love me. And if I'm all you think about."

"Then, I love you. I do, I love you."

"Good, because I would just die if you didn't."

"Dramatic"

"Wouldn't be Lily if I wasn't."

"No, you wouldn't."

"Are you going to miss me, Remus?"

"You know I will."

"If you don't write me everyday I'll get mad at you."

"I know"

"Can I… Can I kiss you instead of saying goodbye?"

"Why?"

"Because I don't want to say the G word. Can I kiss you instead?"

"Okay"

"So… see you in September?"

"Yeah, September."

"Did I ever tell you I was sorry?"

"I did. I remember."

"Did you… Did you ever forgive me?"

"I think that if you didn't marry James we could have been happy."

"It's silly, you know?"

"Being apart from each other, I mean."

"You're Lily and I'm Remus and we love each other."

Looking back on his life hardly ever makes him happy. Being alive is never truly satisfying. But he feels content when he sits there, feels at peace as he imagines she's with him, as he believe in a love that has long since died away.

"Dinner is starting soon and I have to go in."

"Its pork chops tonight."

"I know! You hate pork chops, but I always loved them."

"And you. I love you."

"I miss you."

"Don't stay away for too long, you hear?"

"I can't stand it when you aren't around."

"See you around, kid."

And he walks inside, despair suddenly filling him, loneliness. Her laughter is suddenly far away and his memories leave him and all that's left is emptiness, a void that only she can fill. He knows that she won't though. He knows that she's dead, that she's never coming back. But it doesn't stop him from hoping, from believing that anything is possible.

"I'll always love you, Remus. Always."

End

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