Chapter 4: Step By Step

Half an hour later, Monk returned to a very bored Sharona, who was listening to the radio and filing her nails. She reached for her seat belt as he climbed into the station wagon.

"It's about time," she said as she started the car. "What'd you do – vacuum the entire apartment while you were up there?"

"You're funny, Sharona," Monk chuckled. "That would take a lot longer than half an hour to do."

"You don't say," Sharona said dryly. She suddenly turned to him, asking, "Where do you want to go?"

Monk was a tad thrown off by that question. "I...I thought we were just going to your house. I don't want to go anywhere public."

"Why – intend on getting frisky?" she teased him.

Monk turned bright red again. "N-n-no."

"I was just joking, Adrian," she assured him. "I know you wouldn't...look, I just think we need to get this all out in the open. We can't be keeping secrets from each other. I know essentially everything about you, and I have to admit I haven't really been forthcoming about myself..."

"Sharona?" Monk interrupted nervously. She glanced over at him with raised eyebrows. "Could we please wait until we're not in a moving vehicle to talk about this?"

Sharona chuckled to herself. "Sure. I can wait." She was thinking to herself how she had already waited for months, maybe years, to tell him some of the things he didn't know about her. There was so much to Sharona Fleming, so much that nobody ever saw. What if she was just a scared little girl, hiding inside the body of a fearless woman? She told herself that she had to be brave, she had to hide her fear. She had to do it for Benjy. And for Adrian.

She couldn't deny it. Adrian was an integral part of her life. Everything she did, she thought about him. She thought about his reaction before buying that new stereo she had her eye on. She knew he didn't listen to much music, but that didn't mean he wouldn't have some comment on the color or the size or where she put it. She had considered buying it and putting it somewhere obvious, like the kitchen table, just to see the look on his face.

That was how much she thought of him. It was impossible not to. Since they were so intertwined, this talk she had suggested seemed the most logical thing to do. She smirked to herself as she thought of the irony of the situation.

Suddenly, they had reached her house. She let out a shaky breath as she turned off the engine. It was ridiculous how nervous she was about this! She spent almost all her time with him, so she felt she should be completely at ease getting this off her chest. But, after tonight...their relationship was going to change, and no one knew how or to what degree just yet.

They slipped out of her car and headed for the house. Sharona planned the order of things in her head as she walked: go inside and turn on the lights, invite Adrian to make himself comfortable (in the living room, preferably (living rooms were warmer, cozier places, which made it easier to spill your guts) while she checked her answering machine, then she would go change into something more comfortable (and maybe – just maybe – a little revealing...after all, if things were going to change between them, who knows what could happen).

After all that, they could get down to business. But first, all the steps had to be played out in perfect sequence.

Step 1: Sharona and Monk stepped into Sharona's house and Monk stepped aside as Sharona flicked a number of switches to illuminate the house. She walked over to the kitchen table and set her purse down as Monk watched nervously, as if expecting her to sprout wings and fly away.

Step 2: Sharona spotted the look on his face and laughed, startling him. "Are you thirsty? I think I have a bottle of Sierra Springs in the refrigerator," she offered.

"No, no, I think I'll just...not drink anything," he insisted, still looking mighty uncomfortable.

"Alright," Sharona replied, trying to ignore his nervousness. "Why don't you take a seat then? I have to check my answering machine."

As she turned her back to him, he looked first at the table, which seemed like a safe choice – how close can you get to someone when you're sitting at a table? -, then at the living room, which seemed the obvious choice for an intimate conversation like the one they were about to have.

He was still deciding when Sharona appeared beside him, ordering, "Go sit in the living room. I have to go change," before exiting to her bedroom.

Monk rolled his shoulder, then reluctantly sat down in the armchair that was exactly in-between two small end tables. He had arranged it that way the last time he was there, and he usually had to rearrange them each time, with Benjy being a 12-year-old boy and all.

There was a loveseat on the right side of the armchair, but he didn't want to look like he wanted this talk to lead somewhere. Besides, it wouldn't be even if he was sitting on it by himself, unless...

No, he couldn't do that. Sharona was right in the next room. He couldn't imagine Trudy being there. This was Sharona's house. As much as he hated to admit it, it would be like Trudy was intruding on them.

He looked heavenward, begging silently for her forgiveness. He had promised when they had exchanged their vows that he would be faithful 'until death parts us.' Even when that happened, he wasn't ready. He still loved Trudy, but he believed he was ready now. He was ready to move on.

Step 3: Sharona stood in front of her bedroom mirror in her underwear, trying to decide what to wear. She held up a jersey dress – too awkward to sit in. She threw that on the floor and picked something up from the closet floor, sniffed it, and threw it at her clothes hamper with a grimace.

Sighing, she blew a strand of hair out of her eyes before slumping onto the bed.

"What am I doing? All we're doing is talking, and it's not like I'm on a hot date or something," Sharona muttered to herself. "I mean, it's just Adrian. The most he'll say about my outfit is that there's lint on it or something. God forbid he actually compliment me on it."

She realized she was starting to sound bitter and annoyed, and sighed again. "I can't let him get to me tonight. I refuse to be annoyed by anything he does tonight, even if he spends our entire conversation rearranging the magazines on my end table. Tonight is about being honest with each other, and letting everything out."

Suddenly, she chuckled as she realized her hypocrisy. "Adrian would really have a good time with that one. 'Remember being honest?' Yeah, and then he'd bring up the whole elephant thing."

A knock on her bedroom door jolted her out of her thoughts. "Sharona, are you coming out? My schedule is going to be all messed up if we don't hurry," Monk informed her.

Sharona panicked. What if he tried coming in? She wasn't even dressed! Walking in right now would be like walking in on a Victoria's Secret shoot. "Uh...," she faltered, trying to think of something to say. "I'm just...uh...cleaning! Yes, I'm just picking up a few things. I'll be out in a minute."

She waited for a reply from him. "Adrian? Did you hear me? I said..." She was cut off suddenly.