2.

Raccoon City Hilton, October 31st, 2004 A.D.

'So, what's the news on blondie bear?' Faye asked in a manner that suggested she really didn't care.

'You haven't even met her, and you've given her a nickname?' Spike asked, staring at the girl who had somehow managed to spread herself out over both their beds.

'So what?'

Spike sighed. 'She was asleep. I didn't want to wake her.'

'Aww, how considerate!' Faye drawled. 'You're makin' my heart go all jumpy.'

'Shut up!'

'Oh, wow! How long did it take you to think up that one?'

Spike rolled his eyes, then shoved Faye off the bed.

'Ow! I was lying there!' she called out from the floor.

'Yeah, the operative word being was. As in, past tense,' he retorted as he kicked his shoes off, and laid back. 'No Smoking my ass,' he thought, staring with intense hatred at the clean white sign someone had hammered into the wall.

Raccoon City Outskirts, October 31st, 2004 A.D.

Riley walked along, letting the dust clouds billow around him and his accomplice.

'So… I hear you've taken killing evil to a whole new level, huh?' Riley asked, turning to face the short blonde girl walking next to him.

'Well… yeah, I guess,' she blushed a little, and looked to the ground. 'Cos of all the new Slayers, I'm pretty much "Free-Time Buffy" for now. So how 'bout you?'

'Me and Samantha got a divorce a couple months back. Don't feel sorry, it wasn't – we weren't right for each other. Nothing much else has happened, really, just run-of-the-mill Initiative jobs. Except…'

'Except what?' Buffy asked, looking concerned.

'The job I went on, four days ago… we had to get Jason Voorhees.'

'The hockey-mask killer?'

'Yeah, him. He killed basically everyone in the platoon, then this guy named Spike saved my life.'

'S – Spike?'

'Not Peroxide-Boy extraordinaire Spike. A different Spike. His name was Spike Spiegel.'

'I – I'm sorry about your platoon,' Buffy offered quietly. 'Maybe after this we could get you a comfort cookie?' she perked up.

'Yeah, I guess so,' Riley forced a smile.

'What is it exactly we're looking for?' Buffy asked as Riley pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket. He showed the paper to her, and she snorted with laughter. 'This is what we're worried about?' she giggled as she looked at a picture of a short, stout green demon that looked suspiciously goblin-like.

'Yeah. The Leprechaun.'

'The… Leprechaun,' Buffy repeated flatly. 'As in, pots-o-gold at the end of the rainbow, genuine Irish Leprechaun?'

'That's the one.'

'As in, a genuine Irish Leprechaun that doesn't exist?'

'Well, apparently they do exist. And this one's mighty pissed-off.'

'Hmmm,' Buffy scrutinized the picture. 'I always thought a Leprechaun would be more… hairy.'

Umbrella Corporation, October 31st, 2004 A.D.

'We have successfully managed to test this new line of cosmetics without the government intervening.' A short, black haired woman addressed the man standing over her desk.

'Well done, Marsha!' the man exclaimed jovially. 'And the, uh… substance?

'Under lock and key. We realize the repercussions would be on a global scale, but we're confident that no-one will steal it.'

Umbrella Corporation, November 22nd, 2004 A.D.

The man walked with purpose, no, he ran with purpose, dodging people, making his way towards the exit, until –

'Hey! Watch it!' a guy in a business suit exclaimed. 'You spilt my coffee!'

'Tough shit,' the man thought. 'You're all gonna be dead within the hour, anyway.'

He was safe. He made it out, and with six full vials that were going to make him a millionaire.

'Jerk!' business suit guy shouted after him.

'Some people, eh?' a kindly woman asked. 'You new here?'

'Yeah. I just started today.'

'Oh, well I can show you around if you want?'

The two walked towards the lift. Little did they know they had less then five minutes to live.

'So, where is this little Irish creature, anyway?'

'See, that's the thing: we don't know,' Riley scanned the horizon, as if hoping it'd suddenly pop up.

'You… don't know.'

'That's what we've got his gold for.'

At this, Buffy couldn't stifle her raucous laughter. 'His gold?!'

'Yes. He's been going around, killing everyone who steals his gold. You'd think people would've learned, but…' his brow creased. 'Nope.' He pulled something wrapped in a brown rag out of his pocket.

'…and that would be?' Buffy asked, looking at the rag.

'A piece of the gold. As soon as I open the rag, he's gonna sense it and come. You ready?'

'Ready to fight a fat little green man? Yeah, I think so.' At this, Riley unceremoniously dropped the rag onto the dusty ground, and out rolled a small shining yellow rock.

Almost instantly, they heard: 'You fuckers! You stole me fuckin' gold! I'll tear ye limb from scrawny fucken' limb!'

'Someone has a dirty mouth,' Buffy noted, as the Leprechaun materialized.

'I'll make ye regret ever fucken' with the great and fantastic Leprechaun!'

'And so modest, too!' Buffy smiled sarcastically. At this, the Leprechaun snarled and charged her.

Spike sat up suddenly. 'I'm gonna check on the girl.'

'You were just there? Why bother?' Faye complained, lighting up a cigarette.

'You're not supposed to smoke in here, y'know,' Spike motioned towards the distinct "No Smoking" sign.

Faye took a long drag, and blew the smoke in his face. 'Blow me.'

'I just might,' Spike winked sleazily.

'Oh, shut up!' she replied, and walked out onto the balcony.

'At least that's gotten rid of her,' Spike thought. 'But why do I have the feeling that something bad has happened to the girl, Lori?'

'Ow! Get – him – off – me!' Riley shouted to Buffy. His head was being pummeled in by the supposedly "cute" green Leprechaun.

Buffy ran towards him, and kicked the psychotic goblin off Riley's chest. As it began running off, Buffy took chase, ran it down, then broke it's neck.

'Um, Buffy?'

'Hmmm?' she replied somewhat cheerfully, now that the fighting was finished.

'Not that I'm, y'know, not thankful or anything, but… I was meant to bring back the Leprechaun… alive.'

'Oh,' Buffy's face fell.

The Initiative Holding Cells, October 31st, 2004 A.D.

'As you can see, we are completely safe from Hostile 59. He is enclosed in this cell, where he will most probably live out his days.' Horn-rims was taking a group of official-looking people on a tour throughout the centre.

'Miss Monroe? Jessica? What happens if it tries to get out?' one of the officials, a stuffy young man asked.

'Why don't you see for yourself?' Jessica raised an eyebrow, then stepped towards the glass front of the sterile white cell. 'That's right, come on…' she mouthed to Voorhees.

Jason, emitting no sound whatsoever, ran towards her. On the exact moment he hit the glass, he suddenly flew off it in a flash of green light.

'New and improved cells, now with magick barriers. Are there any more questions before we move on?'

A solitary hand went up, that of the same young man.

'Yes?' Jessica asked.

'Why is the cell next to this one empty? Is there some sort of invisible creature in there, or…' he trailed off, letting the silence hang in the air.

'That cell is saved for Hostile 60, Freddy Krueger. We – they weren't able to find him.'