Ch 4
You'll come upon
Your sorrows
And you'll find they'll still
Be gone..........
That night she banked the fire and looked over at the bedroll where Starfire was lounging, he grinned at her look. He patted the spot next to him and said "There's room if you want to join me".
She shook her head and he sighed "Don't worry I don't bite".
"Alright" she said, she knew she was being silly, it was just the old fears. She stiffly laid down next to him, her back to him, she stiffened a bit when he put his arm around her. He covered them both with the cloak.
"What's the matter" he asked softly from behind.
"I did kill a man once" she said softly.
She felt him start, then he said "How did it happen".
She shifted and he brought one arm under her head to cushion it "Thanks, I was thirteen, it was about seven years ago".
"You're twenty" he asked surprised.
"Yes, why do you ask".
"I'm only seventeen" he said.
"Oh, a younger man" she teased.
"Yes, but does that matter" he asked, she could feel his breath soft on her neck.
"Well, I was thirteen when it happened" she quickly said, not answering his question.
He smiled at her back and settled down to listen.
I was traveling with my parents to go to court for the first time, my sister Dani was going to be presented, but I was still a little too young. We were traveling with a trade caravan, my father wasn't wealthy, we mostly only had the title and a little land. He felt we would be safer with a larger group and the guards they could hire" she sighed. "He was wrong".
"What happened" Starfire asked softly.
"About two weeks out we were attacked, I'm still not entirely sure what they were after. I think I was only an afterthought" she was quiet for a long time before adding. "I was riding a new horse father had given me, if I had been in the wagon with mother and Dani I would have been safe enough, but I was riding near the edge and they grabbed my reins and took me with some of them".
She breathed deeply trying to remove herself from the memories that welled up, she trembled a bit with the remembered emotion. She was able to calm herself when she felt him hug her tighter. She leaned back drawing strength from his warmth before continuing. "They, hurt me" she said quietly.
"You don't have to continue" he said.
"I think I do, I've never spoken about this to anyone, my family knows, but I've never talked about it". She felt his nod and continued "When the first one was doing, what he did... something happened, I snapped and something filled me, I just wanted him to stop and I threw it all at him, the anger, fear, rage. And it became real. He backed up and I threw it at him, I still remember his screams as he burned. The others ran. My father and the guards found me the next day, by the man I had killed".
"It wasn't your fault" he said.
"Yes it was, as horrible as that man was, I didn't really want to kill him".
He was quiet for a time, then said "There is a story among my people, it happened to K'Treva. A herald from Valdemar, you know what that is" he asked.
"Yes, they sometimes pass through Rethwellen on their way to the King's court" she said.
"This was long ago, this herald was also a mage and felt magic used, mostly untrained and with haste" he said.
"What did he find" Jade asked.
"He was a she, and she found A young man dead, and another nearly, he had slit his wrists when he had slain his lover by accident, he couldn't control an untrained gift and it got away from him. He blamed himself".
"But that's not his fault, it was an accident" she said.
"Yes, the Herald took the man to her friends in Trevar's, they healed and trained him and finally convinced him to live. He found his life bonded and devoted his life to righting a wrong he felt he had done" he said.
"Oh" she said, and he could feel her thinking about what he said.
"I think I've done something similar to that" she said thoughtfully.
"I had gotten that feeling" he said.
"My family was afraid of me, they found a school of the White Winds on the way to court and left me there" she said.
"I think they just wanted you trained, with a violently awakened gift, it would have been important to have it trained" he said.
"I know, but it was still hard" she said softly.
The next morning the search party left the Vale, Windsong led them to the last point he had found signs of Starfire. Sundance knelt running his hand over the ground and opening his shield to look at the ground with his magesight, a dull red residue flared under his sight, Blood magic he thought with disgust. He looked up at Windsong "Where was the mage".
"Starfire killed him, but not before the mage struck his shields, I think the force knocked him from the branch" Windsong said.
"That's something anyway, if his shields held" at the other man's puzzled look, he added. "No contamination". Windsong nodded.
Sundance stood and turned looking at the ground where the leaves had been disturbed, the residue of another cleaner magic clung to the leaves, glowing faintly to his sight, he was glad they hadn't waited another day, the trail would have been gone by then, but he could still follow this trail. He looked back at Windsong "What happened to the other mage" he asked.
"What other mage, I've accounted for all the men we saw" he said.
"There was another here" he paused, trying to get the feel of the mage that left the trace. "She, there was a woman here" he said thoughtfully.
"I don't know, I never saw her" he said.
"It doesn't matter, we can follow this trail" They hadn't been walking long when they came to a hillside studded with large boulders, they got a whiff of smoke from a fire and heard the glad cry of Starfire's bird welcoming them.
Jade woke out of a sound sleep, confused for a moment by the warm skin under her cheek, Oh, she thought sleepily Starfire, it was Starfire. She felt no urge to move, she had never felt better and didn't want anything to change. Then she heard Starfire's bird, she sat up looking through the gap in the stones, Starfire, she thought, confused, but she knew it wasn't him and there were several of them, all looking through the gap at her. Most were dressed as Starfire had been, but one had white hair that glowed in the morning light.
:Who are you: she sent.
There was a movement within the stones, Sundance squinted trying to see who was there. Black hair, it was the woman, the one who had Starfire. He could feel the other's presence and knew he had to be careful, he didn't want her to harm him.
Then he heard her mindvoice, she sounded a little frightened. That wasn't good.
Starfire was content to just lay there holding her in his arms, when she woke, he knew she would withdraw and keep her distance. He would take what he could get. He was almost certain now, it was a lifebond. He had felt everything she did as she told him the story and he hoped he had said the right thing to help her heal, for both their sakes.
Ghyr grumbled and said :They are coming:
:Who: he asked.
:Sundance and scouts, Windsong too: the bird said.
Oh, they brought in Sundance. They must have been really worried, he thought with a slight grin. Then he realized, Jade, they would probably feel her presence, he would have to protect her from anyone jumping to conclusions, especially with Windsong.
He smiled when he felt her awaken and not move, he kept still, not daring to move or break the spell. He felt a moment of hope, maybe things would work out, then Ghyr called out a greeting and she sat up. He sighed and rubbed his face. He felt her stiffen and looked around her to see Sundance frowning back at them.
:Heyla Sundance, could you come back later. Maybe next week: he sent to his brother's Ashke.
Sundance grinned :Firedance said you'd end up lolling around with the best of all things, but I didn't believe him:
:Well you'll have to tell him he's right, he's always right, just ask him: Starfire said.
Sundance laughed :If you can joke, you're fine:
Starfire smiled, he knew that this time he had gotten the best of all things, he thought, looking at his lifebonded. He would have to be careful though, she was still wounded.
A twinge in his ribs reminded him that he was too.
:Who is the Woman: Sundance asked.
:My lifebonded: he sent in a tight connection to Sundance, he didn't think she was ready for the news that she was stuck with him, not yet anyway.
:Your what: he looked to see Sundance's jaw drop in shock.
:My lifebonded: he said again evenly.
Jade stared out at the frowning man, this doesn't look good, she thought. She was at the point of trying to wake Starfire, when the man suddenly laughed and she felt Starfire move behind her. Oh good, he'll tell them I didn't hurt him. The thought of hurting him made her a little sick, she would never be able to do it not even to save her life.
The thought surprised her, she had only just met him, well at least in person, she remembered the dreams and blushed and looked down at her hands, she was wringing her robes again. She looked up to see the man's jaw drop and he stared. He would shake his head like he didn't quite believe what he was hearing and she wondered just what Starfire was saying to the man.
She felt Starfire try to sit up and she turned to help him. He squeezed her hand and continued to hold it, pulling her back against himself with his arms around her.
She closed her eyes, content, but then she opened them quickly, she didn't know these others. She started and stiffened slightly as she saw the man with the white hair kneeling in the gap between the two stone.
"Don't worry, he's a friend" he whispered in her ear.
"A little more than a friend, family perhaps" the man said pointing to the primary feather woven into his braid.
"You did it" Starfire said, delighted. He smiled widely, holding a hand out to his new brother.
"Yes, it was a long time coming" Sundance said.
"How long have you two been together anyway" he asked, propping his chin on Jade's shoulder. He smiled when she didn't stiffen.
Sundance eyed the byplay and answered "since before we took our use names, we chose ones that were similar to show our closeness" he said.
"I had wondered about that" he said.
Sundance looked back at the other scouts and said ruefully "We could sit here and gossip all day, or we could go back to the Vale and get you checked out" he pointed at the bandages around Starfire's chest.
"That sounds good, she's coming with me" he said.
"As an Elder, I'll allow it, considering the circumstances" he said.
Starfire nodded and turned to Jade "Would you like to see my home" he asked gently. He smiled at her nod.