Amarthiel of Dor-lomin gave me the ingenious idea to write a better story. So here you go my dear! And my mom is oh so proud! LOL Thanks for the inspiration!

Title: Merry Christmas and a Happy New Years! (Middle Earth style!)

By: Horseluvar

Summary: The Elves of Rivendell and Mirkwood have never known chocolate, marshmallows, candycanes or Carmel corn. What happens when they get their first addictive taste? Legolas POV for the first chapter.

Rated: PG

Genre: a parody of course! What else?

A/N: This is a fresh start and a new look at writing. I love pardoies and my friends and I decided to write a Christmasy one since tis the season! LOL If you don't like it, you don't have to flame me! Duh! Just don't read it. But if you like it, please drop in a review and let me know. I would love to hear from you as this is my first lengthy story and I want to now how I am doing. Reviews are very helpful and loved. Thank you so much.

Disclaimer: Anything that has to do with Lord of the Rings is not mine! Please do not sue me! LOL Too bad, see that disclamier? It means you can't!

Please enjoy!

CHAPTER ONE

Hot Cocoa! Yummy!

I was a small Elfling and I had just gotten back from sledding with the twin Sons of Elrond, Elladan and Elrohir, who thought it would be fun to make me hit trees. Then I found out that you aren't supposed to slide on hills with trees.

But I digress. (I will do this quite often, no worries)

So, as I was saying. They brought me back to the last Homely house and were picking on me because I flipped over a log at some point. Funny, all I have from that experience is a throbbing headache and no recollection that unfortunate event.

In any case, being kid I was and the teens they are, we felt the need for a sugary something. Not just anything. It was the Winter Solstice. That is a big celebration where I come from! So then we decided we needed something special and preferably with caffeine so we could stay up all night and play pranks. Well, they would play them on me. But it was all in the name of fun. What else?

Well the Elves that traded with people in villages had just recently returned. Lucky for them the twins were busy torturing me with their snowballs. It was an unfair trade in my opinion, but when you are smaller than two twins who have a reputation for cruelty you learn to keep your mouth shut until they tell you to open it.

I don't know why my father thought coming here was a good idea for the Winter Solstice. I guess he misses mother. But hey, so do I1 But I am not that desperate! He must being going insane (he admitted it once, but he said it was my fault).

But anyhow, as we went in the boxes were still there on the floor and unopened as of yet.

If you know the twins the way I do, you know this didn't last more than a few semi seconds. They have a thing for snooping into mysterious boxes. Go figure.

So soon there was the sound of boxes popping open and were we in for a surprise.

There was tins of brown stuff. Powdery kind of and an aroma sweeter than that of Athelas filled the air. Well that was nice I can tell you.

I smiled like an idiot until I felt a strong punch in my shoulder and looked with wide blue eyes into Elrohir's narrowed silver ones. "If you tell ada, your are lunch-meat for a friend of mine out in the woods! Got it princeling?"

No problem. I had it.

I watched them loot the boxes of the weird substance. I have to admit, I actually was not too willing to nark on them. And it had nothing to do with the fact that they were older than myself.

Perhaps I could get some.

Nope. Not me.

They never bothered to read the instructions. I am not sure why they are that stupid when they can pull of stunts that take a lot of planning, but they were.

They began to stuff the brown powder into they're mouths. I leaned against the wall and stared down at a packet to read the instructions. My father had taught me to read at an early age, so it was not difficult.

INSTRUCTIONS:

Place in a cup of boiling water and stir until fine, then drink.

That was a far cry from what they were doing. I made a horrible mistake.

I smirked.

Never smirk.

It is a frightening experience.

Not to mention threatening to one's health.

"So what does it say wise guy?" asked Elladan, peering over my shoulder.

I made another mistake.

I lied.

"You were doing exactly what it says!" I grinned.

"You remember my friend out in the woods?" asked Elrohir with his hands balling into fists and his eyes looking pointedly at my face.

"You were wrong."

"So? Read!" he shoved another packet into my hands and read the instructions. They were not pleased.

"How can we make that without getting into hot water ourselves."

Nice pun Elladan. Boring…..

"We need someone to do it for us…."

"most certainly….."

"indefinitely."

Guess who they chose…..

"Go and make some. Then call us and if we like you, we might let you have some, Elfling brat!"

"You're an Elfling too!" I squeaked.

"Get to the kitchen Squeaker!"

Squeaker? What an insult!

Morons.

But I went. When you have two muscular twins breathing down your neck threatening life and limb, you do things like that.

They shoved me into the kitchen and before they locked the door they threatened, "scream and you will be the one going into the boiling water. Get the idea?"

I got the idea.

So I did the only logical thing. I found the water bucket and drew water out. A simple task. Except for the fact I was short, weak and had long hair.

You can guess the rest.

Eventually I had it boiling over the fire. That and I was searching for bandages to sooth a few burns here and there. Nothing serious, but enough to make me question my own sanity.

Do you ever do things like that?

After finding nothing for my injuries, I sighed and looked at the hot cocoa. So soft looking with steam curling form the top and a creamy like texture to it. It was the most beautiful sight of my life and I drew a deep breath.

Brining the picture from the package away from my eyes and seeing the mess of boiling water and dusty power filtering through the air I plead to the heavens, "WHY DOESN'T MINE LOOK LIKE THAT!"

Just as I thought. They were silent. What had I done to deserve this? I had to make a mental note to find out and never do it again.

Desperately I tried to salvage the remains.

One meager packet and exactly one cup of boiling water. Phew, just enough.

That meant none for me, but I was escaping with my life and all legs and arms so that was fine.

I had it all made. It looked a little bit less perfect than the picture, but I didn't care. If I was lucky Dan and Ro or Dana and Rodana as I liked to call them when they were out of ear shot, would give me a minutes rest.

Fate was cruel.

They knew somehow. Like wargs smell weak blood.

I had no chance before they banged through the door and demanded to see my handy work.

I showed it to them with a grin.

Scowling, they asked, "so did you poison us?"

Oh yeah, that was at the front of my mind, I thought sarcastically.

I guess form my eye roll they guessed the answer I was about to say and commanded. "Drink it then!"

"Me?"

"Do you see any other blonde little Elfling dork losers?"

Good point.

So I took a sip. It was the best thing in the world. Rich, creamy, sweet beyond imagination and warm. As it slid down my throat I sighed. Then I let out a scream. I felt a fiery pain on my tongue.

I had burned it in my eagerness.

Damn them!

Their laughter was cruel, annoying and it totally peed me off.

They must have thought the stuff was horrible. But nonetheless they took and the mug and downed the substance. Fighting amongst themselves.

My next move was to make an escape attempt.

TBC………….So what do you think? Review please! Pretty please w/ a cherry and whipped topping on top? LOL

Signing out.

Horseluvar