Mega Why Video Game Characters Aren't Allowed to Ad-Lib:
Raziel Versus the Sarafan Inquisitors

Epilogue

Meanwhile, back where all this foolishness started…

He blinked once. Then twice. Then Moebius had the sudden realization that he was clinging onto Malek for dear life. Revolted, he suddenly jumped away from the Conflict Guardian and stared at him, a look of pure disgust on his face. "Get away from me!" he yelled.

Malek blinked, looked around, and then looked at Moebius. "But…I thought we were bonding," he whimpered.

Moebius shuttered. "Good gods, no! I was…um…hiding behind you for protection! What if that wraith in drag had attacked us?! I'd be dead now! Hmph! Some Protector of the Circle you are…"

Malek sniffed a bit, then reached down and picked up his pike along with Moebius' staff. "I'm sorry, Lord Moebius," he whined, "But I have an uncontrollable fear of silk, satin, lace, and other soft, frilly things." He handed Moebius' staff out to him.

Moebius looked at him for several moments without taking his staff. "Wait," he said, "If you're afraid of thinks like silk and lace then…how do you and a woman…you know…"

"How do I and a woman…Do what, sir?" Malek asked innocently, still holding out Moebius' staff to him, "I'm afraid I don't know…"

"What??" Moebius exclaimed, legitimately shocked. Even he'd never seen this coming. "You don't know what I'm talking about? Honestly? Either your even dumber than I thought, or..." A devilishly sneaky smile crept onto the Time-Streamer's face and he chuckled slightly. "Malek, are you a virgin?"

Malek sat up straighter than usually and looked around nervously. "What?! Who?! Me?!" he said, trying to sound especially masculine but only succeeding in sounding particularly stupid. He gave a fake laugh that easily betrayed his nerves even more. "Ha ha! Oh, heh, very good joke, Lord Moebius, you really had me going…I know that you don't really think that I, Malek, Lord of the Sarafan Warriors, Guardian of Conflict, Protector of the Circle of Nine, am a virgin…Why, I've got entire villages of ladies lining up at my door every night…They literally throw themselves at me…Yeah, and I mean, they like, put their entire weight behind it and…stuff like that…"

"Uh-huh," said Moebius dubiously, crossing his arms. "They must be really desperate for you then, Malek…and if you expect me to believe that, I have some swamp land in Coorhagen I'd like to sell you."

"No kidding?!" Malek said enthusiastically, "How much??"

Moebius groaned, then lunged forward and jerked the staff away from Malek. "Give me that, you idiot!"

"Hey!" Malek yelled, then frowned as he looked at his hand. "Careful! I have very sensitive skin…plus I bruise very easily…"

Moebius sighed and shook his head. "He's not just a virgin, he's also a wimp," he mumbled, "God, I have done nothing but obey and protect you all my life, serving your every wish and whim…Why, then, do you curse me with this idiot in a tin can as a Guardian?!"

"I don't think any god had anything to do with it," Malek said, "I think Dennis Dyack did, though."

Moebius glared at the Sarafan Lord. "Malek," he said through gritted teeth, "if I told you that I knew for a fact that you would soon never have to worry about a single physical problem or irrational fear ever again, would you shut up?"

"Really?" Malek exclaimed, grinning like a fool underneath his helm, "Wow! That would be some great cure, Lord Moebius, if that were really true…Is it?"

That sneaky little smile again found it's way onto Moebius' mouth again. "Oh, it's very true, Malek," he said mysteriously, "Very true indeed…In fact, I'd even go as far to say that this…miracle cure is simply…" He paused, and then laughed quietly. "To die for…"

Author's Notes: Ab-ba-duh, ab-ba-duh, ab-ba-duh, that's all, folks! I hope you enjoyed this little sequel to "Why Video Game Characters Aren't Allowed to Ad-Lib", especially those of you who really wanted to see me do the Wraith Raziel vs the Sarafan Raziel scene, and for those of you who haven't read the original yet, feel free to drop by my profile and check it out sometime. And now, the reviews from last chapter…

Rikku142: I'm so glad you enjoyed it so much! Well, um, I'm not glad that you choked on your orange juice…poor juice, too! I mean, what did those orange ever do to you? (Just kidding, honest.) Hope you're doing better, and thanks for adding me to your favorites.

Varyssa: Hehe, I love you too, but let's just stay friends, okay? (Another joke, just kidding, don't hurt me.) Again, so glad you enjoyed it, and thanks for reviewing so often.

Smoke: Regular as clockwork, you are. :-) It always pleases me to see your reviews, Smoke. Don't worry about the comic thing if it's bothering you, I was just curious anyway. I love what you've done so far, though. And yeah, Kain knew the thing was ruined, so he had no reason not to torment Raziel some. And I actually think Simon made Kain say that he missed Raziel's wings twice in the Defiance outtakes. See ya' around. Oh, btw, I absolutely love 'Drop a Stone', I just haven't had the opportunity to review yet.

Cobra-kun: Kain will forever be addicted to blood-flavored cocoa as far as I'm concerned. "I renounce you" is one of my favorite lines as well, but for a parody like this one…it just didn't fit. The "Does this classify as suicide?" seemed to ring more true to my particular style of LOK idiocy. And doesn't co-workers drive as all mad? (Har har)

Kyrial: Hey, no prob. You should check out the original WVGCAATAL if you haven't already. You'll see more of Razielia, and some of the Defiance scenes I've already done. As for letting you do a WVGCAATAL…Well, I have no qualms with you using some of my ideas, like the blood-flavored cocoa and Razielia and whatever else you want to use particularly since I think it may be a while before I do another parody, so long as you give me at least partial credit and DON'T use "Why Video Game Characters Aren't Allowed to Ad-Lib" in the title…You can use it for stuff like, "Based on Tomlette's 'Why Video Game Characters Aren't Allowed to Ad-Lib'" or whatever, just not in the title. And fear not—If you do something like this, I'll be watching for and reviewing every chapter! :-)

Well, that's that boys and girls. I'd like to thank my reviewers: Varyessa, Smoke, Darster, Raven-Marss2000, Syvia, MortalSora, Cobra-kun, ShadesOfBlood, cmartist, Kokuryu, Kyrial, Killer Doll Prototype 5, and Rikku142. I couldn't have done it without you!!!!

And remember that no matter what, no matter how bad the situation seems or looks from your view, there is one fact that will remain constant throughout the universe. So, when you are feeling down, or things aren't going your way, or Raziel just won't jump onto that damn column no matter how many times you hit that damn X button, just tell yourself one thing…

HISTORY ABHORS A DRAG REAVER