Disclaimer: I do not own anything in this, but if there's something in here that you don't recognize from another story, it's miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnne.

Rating: PG-13

Warning: SHAMELESS BASHINGS OF THE CHARACTERS I DO LOVE! IT'S ALL FOR THE FUN OF IT, SO DON'T REPORT ME FOR ABUSE! And just a tad bit of slashiness in this chapter as well.

A/N: I LOVE REVIEWS! I THANK ALL OF MY REVIEWERS! THIS ENTIRE STORY IS JUST FOR YOU, SUGA HI, DEAREST (AND ONLY) BETA-READER!!! I WUBU! (Bunnies ;D)

A/N/N: Sorry for the long wait. Life is crazy, eh? And, no, I shall continue not to write dialogue for certain characters in their accents. I'm American, and I don't understand accents unless it's a Southern accent or a New Jersey accent. Thank you.

Reply to question: Who's gay etc. and who isn't? Wellllll… just read and see! :)

To Pipinheart: I know it's strange…and all…yeah…BUT IT'S FUN! (Hee!)

To Suga hi: Does that mean you don't like the rest of my stuff?! :( Wah! ;) Just joking! I know you love me, but not angst… :P

Interesting Day

Chapter Two: Gandalf's Big, Dangerous Stick

Time: Late Morning - Afternoon

Boromir stayed just a tad bit longer, but nothing on this chaotic day was solemn. Most of the time he spent there was filled with Gimli saying things like, "What? Why are you looking at me that way?" and, "Ah, come on Boromir, don't you agree?" Most of the Fellowship decided he had smoked something…something bad (very likely).

Once Boromir had left, and the Fellowship just stared at one another, it seemed that Pippin had found his voice. And courage. He walked over to Gimli.

"Hello, Gimli…"

"Hullo, there Pippin!"

"I have a question to ask…"

"Yes?"

"…Erm, did you, er…"

"What's with you and all these pauses?"

"I DON'T KNOW!" cried Pippin. "I JUST WANNA KNOW WHY YOU STOLE MY MARAJUANA – I MEAN OLD TOBY!!!"

"…I didn't steal any of your…high-making-things."

"NOW YOU'RE PAUSING!"

"Now you're yelling!"

"I want my mummy!" Thus, our cute little hobbit ran off to Merry. The before stated hobbit stared at his cousin, and Pippin looked at him with huge puppy dog eyes and a pout.

"Pip, you know I love you, but I flat out refuse to be your mother."

"But, Merry…"

"No, Pippin."

"Merry…"

"Pippin, I will not be your mother. She's back home in Tookborough. If you want her so bad go back home. You shouldn't be here anyway."

"…But I don't wanna go home!"

"Well it's that, or just keep going on."

"But I love me mum."

"I know. But those are your choices."

"Oh, come on Merry! You're my closest kin and you look after me…!"

"I know, Pippin, but I will not be your mother!"

"But I love my mother," Pippin insisted.

Merry just shook his head and stomped off. He looked at Sam as he passed, and said, "Samwise, will you please do a favor for me and be Pippin's mother?"

"I don-"

"Oh, I knew you would! Thank you, Sam! I'll save you extra bacon…"

Sam tried again to say that he didn't want to be a mother to Pippin, but it wouldn't work, and Merry had asked so nicely (and there was more of the bacon he cooked involved). So Sam trudged over to Pippin.

"Hi, Mr. Pippin."

"Hullo there, Sam! I love my mummy!" he smiled maniacally. Sam was scared, but Merry had asked so nicely…and Sam sure does love bacon…..

"Well, er, how would you like to have a mother here?"

"I would love it, Sam! But how are you going to get my mummy here?"

"Well, I – I could be your mother," Sam said in a small voice, as he became very interested in his feet. Pippin's jaw dropped and he stared at him.

"Really?"

"I guess," Sam almost whispered.

"…Don't you dare…" Pippin said. Sam looked up happily, but saw Merry looking at him. /Alas/ thought Sam. /I'm going to have to be Pippin's mum anyway for Merry./

It was quite a sight, you know, to watch Sam now chasing after Pippin, trying to give him a hug, while saying things Sam could imagine his own mother saying to him when he felt bad. After watching for a few seconds, the rest of the Fellowship could do naught, but laugh. Aragorn smiled at the hobbit.

"Sam, what are you doing?" he said with mirth in his voice. Sam flushed red, and tried to say something, but Pippin and his big mouth beat him to it.

"Save me, Strider, Sam's trying to be my mum, despite the fact he's a guy!"

Merry chimed in, "Or at least we think so!"

Everyone laughed, and Sam stopped chasing Pippin. He looked sadly down at his feet. All he tried to do is help, and this is what he got from it. Laughs. Or at other times he got even more commands. And even sometimes he did things wrong, was told so, and as he believed, lost some of the precious trust of his master. Sometimes he wondered why he didn't just want to give up.

He wasn't allowed to brood long though. As he had been walking around the woods he saw something that completely stunned him into silence (he had been grumbling at himself).

There was a stream in the woods he had been walking through, and there stood Aragorn and Legolas.

It appeared the elf had just slipped away during the commotion of his being mocked, washed his hair, and it had already dried.

Legolas was standing by the pond, in just his undergarments and his tight-looking pants, and was throwing and flipping his hair all over the place. It stayed perfect though, and did not tangle, or look out of place.

For even more disturbance to the poor hobbit, Aragorn was sitting right in front of the elf and ogling him, all over it seemed (although Sam could only see the back of his head). Then, even more dementedness happened.

"Nice," Aragorn said, still ogling.

"See, Ellasar, if you'd just bathe yourself and wash your hair, you could look like this."

"Not as good as you…"

Sam ran off, but he didn't hear the next part.

"Aragorn, do not act like you fancy me."

"I don't."

"Right."

"I don't."

"If you say so."

"Exactly."

Legolas shook his head at Aragorn. /Humans are so full of themselves and strange…/ he thought. Aragorn just grinned back. Legolas found himself wishing to ask him where he got such a horrible fetish for elves, but thought better of it. He wasn't sure he wanted to hear it. Because Aragorn might be a gruff, hard guy, but he still told Legolas things as they were, and he had been a young man, or a silly boy with crushes, hadn't he? /Yes, / Legolas thought /I'm not up to hearing about his silly love endeavors. / And with that, Legolas put his shirt on, and tried to get away from the strange man.

Anywho, back with Samwise Gamgee, who knew none of this, and had run off to tell someone, anyone. Maybe he shouldn't share it as it wasn't his business and he had eavesdropped, but since when hadn't he done such things?

When he found the others, he found a sight he hadn't quite been imagining.

Gandalf was hitting whoever was dumb enough to come within staff range while singing some nonsense about Valentine's Day.

Oh, yes. It was Valentine's Day wasn't it. This thought made Sam's thoughts drift back to his dearly beloved Rosie Cotton, and thus forgot all about the … moment with the human and elf. His thinking got cut off by a young Pippin Took, who ran to hide behind him. Pippin was getting pretty tired of that dumb staff hitting his poor head. Possibly hitting and destroying what bit of brain he might've had…maybe.

"Sam, you can be my mum now! You're good to hide behind!"

"What?" Sam asked snapping out of his bow-in-Rosie's-hair-dancing image. He didn't get an answer from Pippin.

WHAP!

There went the ninny-hammer's head. Yep.

"YEOW!!!!!" he called as he swung dangerously to the side as if to fall.

Pippin mock-screamed and ran off to go hide behind a tree. Gandalf couldn't knock one of those out, could he?

Frodo and Merry were way ahead of Pippin, and were already hiding behind a sturdy oak that would crush them if it even attempted to swing around like Sam.

Merry spoke first, "Frodo. You know that I care about Gandalf and that I know how bad things would be if we didn't have him and all… Erm, but who in the curses gave him that damn stick?!"

"…I dunno, Merry. Whoever it was though, I severely doubt, figured that he would use it like this. … However he's using it. … This is not how I'm imagining it, noooooooo…"

Merry looked at him funny. He didn't want to know, he didn't want to know…

Now Pippin found them.

"…Hey, is he going to come after us here?"

"Hope not," the other two hobbits chorused to the youngest one.

"My head hurts."

"Mine would too, if I looked like you," Merry said, lamely.

"That hurt," Pippin said, annoyed.

"Oh, stop it you, two," Frodo said. "I'm sure it does hurt, poor thing…" Pippin smiled at him.

"Thank you, Frodo. See, Merry, he loves me!" Merry looked at the young hobbit, and laughed.

"Or so you think!"

"I want my mummy!"

"Oh, don't start that again," Merry whined.

"…Alright…I guess…"

"Oh, don't do the pause thing more either!"

"…Alright…"

Merry made a very frustrated sound, and ran from their hiding place. He was promptly whapped by the insane wizard with a big, dangerous, painful stick. He came back. There was a problem though. This time Gandalf had watched him go and hide. The hobbits cursed, and tried to run away, but Gandalf had them. He had them.

Then, he said some strange words in elvish, but one word was certain to those without the knowledge of that language. They heard the word Valentine.

"Frodo, what'd he say…?" Merry asked slowly.

"It sounded to me like he said that we would all become each others Valentine's, and be in love, but why would he-" Frodo didn't get to finish his sentence.

Merry had pinned Pippin to the ground, and it appeared they were snogging.

Hey, all! Oh my! I actually just kind of made a plot – with slash! It wasn't meant to have even a plot! Wow! (I don't really do much planning before I write; I just let the stories take me where they will. I love my muses…usually…lol) Oh well. It gives me more of a reason to finish it… :D

Lord of the Rings plushies and candy of your choice if I get your review!

Three more reviews or I won't finish Interesting Day on here!

Thank you, people! Love much!

Entmoot