There are too many tears in the world. That's what I think anyway. So much pain. So much sadness. I can't take it anymore. Even if I wanted to I never could. People die, people suffer with things and people can be unhappy for what sometimes seems like no reason at all. I wish I could help. Sometimes I think it's my fault. Today is one of those days. I mean someone's grandmother just died. I don't know why but I feel it's my fault. How can it be? It was Voldermort who did it… not me. I could never kill. I may have to some day though. If this war becomes any bigger… who am I kidding I am a part of this. How could I hide from it?
I've slit my wrists so many times now… I can't escape my fate. The fate which my father condemned me to. I'm going to become as lustful for the kill as he is once Voldermort is done with me. I heard they torture you until you finally give in and kill at least seven muggles.
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I went through with it… I killed last night. Four muggle adults and three muggle children. They do torture you, so close to death, only when they mentioned I am strong was I proud of myself. That's when a deatheater mentioned having to rape me to get me to give in. I did it without a second thought. They won't touch me that way. I won't ever let me rape me. It is not the way to go about things. My father told me it's a great honour to be raped by Voldermort. The thought sickened me. How could being so weak and defenceless be such an honour?
My father was proud about how well I killed the muggles. Voldermort however was not so pleased. He'd wanted to see torture stating that it was part of what we had to do as a deatheater. I merely used the killing curse not even looking in there direction. I couldn't watch as there lifeless bodies fell to the floor. I heard a girl's tears and cries though. As her mother fell to the ground. I heard her rush to her mothers side. My heart reached out for her. I'd watched my own mother die at a young age. Replaced by some other women… my step mother. Everyone believes her to be my real mother though. Ha, no way would this bitch be my mother my mother sang to me and read to me. I loved my mother…
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My marriage is a sham. They made me marry her. She's a bitch much like my step mother. She's from a powerful family though meaning are son, we are not allowed daughters, will be very powerful. She is pregnant and complaining about her weight. Typical woman. I really hate the bitch. I wish she could die.
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My son is born. I love him dearly. He looks a lot like me too. Not that you can tell from a baby but he really does. He has my hair, apparently it's only temporary when at this age though, and he has my eyes. He looked at me first. The first time he opened his gorgeous eyes. They twinkled. They were so innocent. I'm not going to let him turn into me. I'm going to let him be his own person. Well at least his own person around people who he can trust… he's going to have a dangerous life. All though Voldermort is supposedly gone I have a bad feeling it's not going to last long, but as long as I am Lucius Malfoy I will protect my son with my life. He will be happy if it kills me.
A/n another one shot… I'm really bored and I kinda like writing one shots. Please review and tell me what you think.