Chapter 6

Kaiba suddenly had an insatiable need to see them, to see Jou. He abandoned all attempt at logical and rational thought, letting all the feelings he'd been trying desperately to get rid of take over him. He followed them up the stairs, trailing a good distance behind them. Jou looked back every few moments to see that he was still there. Kaiba barely looked elsewhere, noting only absently that the second floor was mostly guest bedrooms and bathrooms, tubs filled with ice and champagne bottles, groups of friends lounging in the bedrooms, streamers still hanging everywhere, balloons on the floor.

Otogi steered Jou toward another staircase at the end far end of the second floor. It was blocked by a red velvet rope, a signal that it was off bounds. Otogi graciously unhooked the rope and bowed, letting Jou pass up the stairs before him. Kaiba was sure that these stairs led to the master bedroom, and his stomach turned again. After they had disappeared up the stairs, he followed, hopping the rope.

He raced lightly up the ever-darkening staircase, and immediately stopped on the last stair. He was in an unlit corridor, and he had to strain to make out anything. But he saw them, together, just feet away. Otogi had Jou pressed against the wall again, and they were kissing furiously. His hands worked at Jou's shirt feverishly, and Jou's hands were inside Otogi's vest. Otogi broke away, kissing Jou's cheeks, his jaw, and then dipped his head into the crook of his neck. Jou turned his head so that Otogi had more room to work with, and his eyes landed on Kaiba. Jou smiled at him, and turned back to Otogi, pulling his head up to meet his in another crushing kiss.

Kaiba's fists clenched and unclenched as he watched. He tried to form coherent thoughts, but his emotions were spiralling out of control and anything remotely concrete darted out of reach as soon as he tried to make sense of it. All he felt was hot acid bubbling in his very insides, and a mechanical urge to follow them as they made their way to Otogi's bedroom. He needed to see, needed to know that Jou knew he was watching. He couldn't leave. He pursued them silently, although he knew he was safe in the shadows. Otogi wouldn't notice a jackhammer going off right now, alcohol and lust creating an impenetrable shield around him.

Otogi had Jou up against a door on the right side of the corridor, and he was pulling the blond's leg up over his hip. Again Jou turned his head to give Otogi access to his neck, and again he gazed at Kaiba lustfully. Kaiba saw Jou pushing his body into the other boy's, forcing the dark head closer to his neck. Then Otogi pulled them both away from the door just enough for him to open it from behind Jou, and he backed them into the room with all the grace of a speeding toddler.

Kaiba approached the sprawling door, unwilling to look in, but knowing there was no way he couldn't. The light spilling out of the room was very dim, but bright enough. He breathed deeply, and peered around the doorframe. Standing directly in front of, but a few feet away from the open door, the couple carried on devouring each others' faces. Jou stood so that he faced the corridor, and Otogi's back was to Kaiba. It was a large room, and the large bed, also directly in front of the door, was several paces behind them. He could hardly make out any more, not that he wanted to. Otogi muttered something to Jou, and the blond nodded languidly, still gazing in Kaiba's direction.

It was only then Kaiba noticed that the music pervaded this floor too, and he couldn't hear them. Instead of the absolute cacophony it had been downstairs, here it was a dull but ubiquitous thudding that drowned everything else out. He felt it, rather than heard it. The floor, the walls, the very air vibrated, pressing down on him. He heard the ring of bass in his ears, felt it in the beat of his heart, and this deep rumbling masked every sound his body made, and every sound they made.

He watched the events unfold before him as if in a dream. He watched them kiss and touch each other. He watched Jou pull Otogi's headband over his eyes to make sure that he wouldn't see anything. He moved closer now, to stand in the doorway, as if being pulled against his will. He watched them make their way to the bed, discarding clothing along the way. He watched the inevitable rhythm start and build. Jou's eyes hardly left his own. And he was riveted.

Kaiba swallowed thickly, and suddenly realised that the scene in front of him was affecting him in a completely unexpected way. As revolting and infuriating he found the spectacle to be, it still excited him. However sick that sounded to him, proof of his arousal was painfully throbbing against his suddenly tight pants, and Kaiba wondered if Jou knew. Did he know that this sight turned him on? What would he do if he did? Would he stop? Would he continue?

And then it was over and Kaiba knew he should start moving away now. He felt like a taught string, humming with tension and begging to be strummed. He blinked the daze from his eyes and finally started out of the room when Otogi gingerly rolled off of Jou.

He moved down the corridor numbly, futilely trying to decide on a course of action. Should he stay? Should he wait for Jou? Should he go home and forget this ever happened? Could he forget, could he erase those images from his mind? Of course not. Why did they affect him like this? What made him stay in the first place? What made him follow them at all?

He decided that he could save himself a lot of trouble if he just chose to admit something that he really didn't want to, that he'd been trying to deny for days; maybe even longer. That he did want the mutt. He was usually the very picture of self-control, functioning coolly no mater what came his way. And then Jou had kissed him, sending him into a state of mental and emotional chaos. He did want him. His inability to think straight for the past few days proved it. His sudden indecision and confusion proved it. His erratic emotions had proved it.

And tonight – tonight had proved it in a way that he couldn't ignore. Jou was right. And Kaiba was never one to lie to himself. Not for long, at least. He didn't want anyone else to be with Jou. Who knew that the mutt could be so sadistic, he mused. He'd enjoyed making Kaiba watch him, making him suffer on a purely emotional level. He almost shook his head. After all, why resort to physical violence when psychological damage is so much more effective?

But now what? Wanting Jou was one thing. Doing something about it was another thing entirely. Did he want to do something about it? Was it something he could learn to ignore in time? He didn't think so. But giving into Jou would mean admitting defeat, losing. That would mean swallowing his pride, like Jou said. He could never forget what Gozaburo had drilled into him ages ago: Pain is temporary, pride is forever. All he had left was his pride; could he sacrifice that for Jou? He wasn't sure, but what exactly would he be losing to anyway? Could it really be that bad?

They barely knew each other, and had hated each other for the most of their acquaintance. Superficially, at least. What made them think that something like this could work? They were largely - no, thoroughly -incompatible, and the thought of them together actually made him laugh. But he saw something in Jou; had always seen it. The same inner strength and determination he himself had, the same stubbornness and arrogance that drew them inexorably together. Even their differences appealed to him - Jou's openness and friendliness countered his coldness; and could warm him, if he'd let it.

And although he knew absolutely nothing about Jou, he couldn't ignore these new feelings; he was filled to the brim with them – desire, yearning, need, a willingness to try. And, gods help him, if he squinted, maybe even a little hope. What if they did make something of it? He really didn't want to feel this way at all, and given the choice, he would probably never have consciously fallen in like – or whatever - with Jou at all. But as it was, he'd had no choice in the matter whatsoever; it had crept up on him, and now he'd have to deal with it, sooner or later. Because, like it or not, he wasn't imagining things, and his subconscious wasn't playing tricks on him. He really did like the mutt.

But what about Mokuba? Oh, who was he kidding. Mokuba would think that mailman would make a good boyfriend if he expressed an interest.

He didn't realise that he'd stopped walking in the middle of the corridor. He only started out of his reverie when Jou shouted his departure to Otogi as he left the bedroom. He turned to look at Jou, and the blond froze at the sight of Kaiba. He shoved his hands as deeply into his pockets – did he ever take them out? - as possible and slowly walked to meet him. Kaiba gathered his thoughts. He'd have to deal with this now.

"I thought you'd be gone," Jou said awkwardly as he stopped near Kaiba, refusing to meet the other's eyes.

"Why?" Kaiba kept his voice blank and emotionless.

"You looked like you were ready to murder someone." Jou looked at him half afraid, half expectantly, as if he were expecting Kaiba to attack him.

"I must admit, I felt like that a little," he begrudgingly confessed.

"Really?" Jou questioned. He didn't say anything else, but was evidently bursting to ask why.

Kaiba didn't respond. He looked at Jou closely in the dark hallway, hair loose and wet, shirt and jeans donned. He looked neat enough, despite the buttons missing at his navel. He smelled like soap and had obviously just showered.

"Where's Otogi?" he asked.

"Shower. He'll be down in a minute. We should get going."

"Why? Is he a jealous boyfriend?" Kaiba deadpanned.

"He's not my boyfriend," Jou said quickly.

"Then what is he? You two looked pretty close. Put on quite a show." Kaiba was sure his voice was dripping with cynicism.

Jou blushed. "He's…we're just friends. I mean, sometimes we…but it's nothing." Jou was suddenly fidgety, pulling his hands out of his pockets to nervously rake them through his wet hair. Then he barrelled on.

"I mean, I didn't really want to, but I guess I thought if you saw me with someone else, you'd - you'd realise…I know I would…" Jou trailed off, mouth working uselessly to finish his sentence. Giving up on that, he laced his hands together behind his neck and hung his head, sighing and shaking his head slightly.

"You don't seem to be too confident in your plan now, mutt," Kaiba said to Jou. "I have to admit, it was original, but you really have to know who you're playing with if you expect stunts like that to pay off."

"Maybe it was a little crazy. At least I tried. I was thinking about you." His voice was muffled, and he looked completely downtrodden. He didn't notice the softening of Kaiba's tone at all.

Kaiba took him in - his damp hair, his slumped shoulders and thin waist. Kaiba was humming all over again. In that moment, Jou was utterly irresistible. Kaiba made up his mind in an instant again. He stepped a little closer to Jou, close enough to touch. He was still amazingly reluctant, but if he didn't say anything now, he never would. He hated 'What ifs,' and had given every venture he'd ever undertaken in his short life every ounce of determination and resolve he'd had. He wasn't about to start asking himself 'What if' now. He didn't want to let this opportunity pass him by, it's memory coming back again and again to haunt the rest of his years. He took a deep breath.

"Then you'll be glad to know that it worked. You win," he managed to get out around the lump in his throat.

Jou's head snapped up when he heard that, instantly searching Kaiba's normally unreadable eyes. He let go of his neck and let his arms hang limply at his sides, simply looking up into Kaiba's face.

"What do you mean, Kaiba?" Jou asked uncertainly. "Are – are you –"

Jou was cut off when Kaiba dove into him, crushing their lips together. Kaiba was never one to combine his innermost emotions and words well (unless those feelings were hatred or anger), and he'd always let his actions speak for him. Now, he poured everything he was feeling into that single kiss, and it was glorious. Their tongues met and spoke of promise and endeavour, of mutual desire and need. And when they pulled apart moments later, there was no need for words, they had already said it all.

"Wow," Jou breathed, his lips still inches from Kaiba's. He smiled at Kaiba, bright and shy and ecstatic all at once.

Kaiba gave Jou his own version of that smile, genuine happiness tilting his lips upwards. As it turned out, admission hadn't been that hard. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.

"Come on, I'll give you a ride home," he told Jou. The turned to walk down the corridor, standing very close, arms brushing against one another.

"No, stay a little. It's still early - kinda. We can hang out in a bedroom," Jou implored. "To talk," he added quickly, realising the implications of his words. He ducked his head and shrugged lightly. "Or whatever."

Kaiba considered it, and despite the unwavering certainty of encountering a generous amount of spilt alcohol and a probable abundance of various different bodily fluids, decided that that maybe he could brave the sheer filth given his present company.

"Alright," he agreed. They walked side by side down the stairs, bumping into each other lightly.

"Kaiba - what now? I mean, what do we do? What'll we tell the others?" Jou asked tentatively. Kaiba thought he heard worry in his voice. Jou was wondering if he'd want to keep it a secret. Whatever 'it' was. He was sure that he didn't, but didn't want to have that discussion right this second. They had a lot of other things to work out first, like just what the hell they were doing, why they were doing it, and if anything could ever come of it.

"I think we can work something out," he told Jou, flashing him briefly what he hoped was a reassuring smile. It seemed to work, and the blond nodded, looking relieved.

"And you can call me Seto," Kaiba added quietly. They hopped the red velvet rope at the bottom of the stairs.

"Seto." Jou seemed to be turning the word over in his mind, tasting it on his lips. He smiled. "Yeah. I think I can manage that."

Kaiba nodded awkwardly. Telling Jou that was almost harder than admitting he really did like him. Only Mokuba called him Seto, and he hoped he hadn't made a mistake in giving Jou the privilege. They moved toward an empty guest bedroom, having long been vacated because all the champagne was finished. Jou let him walk in first, and he immediately started shrugging off his coat. Gods, it was hot.

"You know," Jou was saying with an embarrassed smile as he closed the door, "since I can call you Seto and all; I guess it's okay if you know I don't really mind when you call me puppy."

The door clicked shut, cutting off Kaiba's warm laugh.

I got an uncensored version of this chapter - if anyone wants it, holla! Either way, review me -you know you want to!