Chapter 1

Jen and Joey spent at least one night a week together. It was a tradition they had started in college, in order to manage to keep the closeness between them and it started again right after Jen got back. There was one Sunday at Jen's house, one at Joey's house. Jack made fun of it, Dawson complained, but the girls ignored it.

"OK, so what will it be tonight? I'll have you know I'm in the mood for a really silly romantic comedy with drop dead gorgeous guys in it or I send you back home to Dawson…" Jen let Joey in without even saying hello.

"Why you need drop dead gorgeous guys in a movie when you got a hunk back home is totally beyond me…"

"Ha Ha yeah you got a point but actually I'm being a supportive friend here since obviously you don't have a likewise hunk at YOUR home…"

"Ah, so you're in the mood to force ME to see drop dead gorgeous guys."

"Yeah, maybe that will bring you to your senses".

Joey was used to Jen mocking Dawson. Again, it was tradition. Dawson tried to keep a superior attitude and not 'stoop to her level' but the truth was that he was occasionaly pathetic in doing it. Joey had fallen in love with Dawson for his serenity, for the way he seemed to keep calm all the time, but after getting to know him better she realized that was just an appearance. The truth was that Dawson was a nervous breakdown waiting to happen. By the time Joey realized that she loved him enough not to care too much, but now she was sick and tired of trying to protect him from the big bad world. She hated to admit it but she was such a woman, hoping for a knight in shining armour to come to her rescue…

"Hey Jen, are you cooking something?"

"Yeah, I'm trying to teach myself how to do spaghettis… Why?"

"Something's burning, me thinks…"

Jen's face turned to panic mode.

"Oh dear, hold on in there. I'll be right back"

Joey took her coat off.

"So where's Jack?"

"Like I didn't tell you that he took Amy to Disneyland!" Jen's offended voice screamed from the kitchen.

"Right, I forgot… But weren't they supposed to be back by now?"

"No, he called this afternoon to tell me that they have yet to see half of it so they decided to stay one more day. Took tomorrow off and everything" Joey got into the kitchen where Jen was fighting with the smoke.

"Isn't he kinda spoiling her?"

Jen winked.

"I think he wants to stay more than she does"

They both laughed.

"Oh, by the way, did I show you the pictures from our trip to California last month?"

"No, I was kinda giving up hope on that."

"Well I just got them"

"Just got them? It's been a month!"

"Yeah well…" Jen coughed "I might have forgotten to pass by the photo shop and pick them up… Anyway, why don't you go get them while I fight these hot worms here… They're top drawer in Jack's nightstand"

"Coming right up" Joey said and headed for the bedroom. Soon got to Jack's nightstand and opened the top drawer. Over there lots of envelopes all filled with pictures… 'Gee, I wonder which ones are from California…'

She picked one of them randomly and took the pictures out. On top there was a picture of Jen, Jack and some other guy. They were all lying on the grass laughing, Jen being in the middle. What struck Joey was the unity of the picture. Not the unity of Jen and Jack, but the unity of all three of them. They were all together. It wasn't like those pictures of her, Jen and Jack where you could see the closeness between Jen and Jack and between her and Jen but she and Jack always had distance between them.

The next picture was again of the three of them. Leaning back against the wall, they were serious this time. Jack had one arm on Jen's shoulder and the other guy just leaned on Jen. Again, unity.

Joey kept browsing through the pictures. It was always the three of them. No-one else. Laughing, making faces, occasionaly serious, in different settings.

Jen suddenly came in: "Did you find…" she stopped when she saw what Joey was looking at.

"Are these the pictures from California?"

"Uhm, no…"

"Then they were taken while you were away…"

"Pretty much, yeah"

"Who is this guy?"

"That's Pacey. Jack's best friend"

"He seems to be pretty good friends with you too."

"Yeah, well, he's a great guy, and I'm always open to new great friends"

Silence. Jen seemed to be a bit off.

"Why didn't we ever talk about it, Jen? I mean, I understand that before it hurt to talk… something obviously happened to split you and Jack up and it hurt you and you didn't want to talk about it. But now…? He's back, he loves you, you love him… you're happy. So why don't we talk about it?"

Jen sighed.

"You see, Joey, I messed up real bad the first time with Jack. Real bad. I had it all and just gave it up because I was scared. And I hate admitting it. I know it's totally stupid especially since I did eventually get a happy ending, but I just hate admitting hurting other people…"

Joey placed her hand on Jen's shoulder.

"Jen, I love you and Jack loves you… you know it and you're not gonna mess it up this time…"

"I wouldn't let myself to mess it up. I was so lost without him… Actually that was the reason I messed up…"

Joey said nothing and waited for Jen to tell the story.

"See, Jack helped me a lot after Grams died. Materially and morally. He did everything he could to make me feel better. He was my knight in shining armour, saved me from a long life of sulking and drinking and sleeping around. And that freaked me out. I loved him so much and I depended on him so much that it freaked me out. Cause I grew up wanting to be loved but at the same time wanting to be independent. And I definitely was not independent with him. When he hurt, I hurt. It went against everything I believed in. And that's where it all went wrong…"

"Isn't that the way love is supposed to be? You can't love AND be independent. Love is all about co-dependency."

"Yeah well I'm not as smart as you are."

Joey smiled and stroke Jen's hair.

"What about now?"

"Well, I'm still depending on him. Just that right now I realized that he's depending on me too. Just like you said, co-dependency." Jen smirked. "Is that even a word?"

"You'll just have to go look it up in the dictionary"

"Oh come on…"

"What? You don't have a dictionary? You can look in mine once you come by."

"Count on Joey to try to make an intelectual out of me. Well I'm an uneducated unwed mother living in sin with my boyfriend and I'm damn happy about it."

"Well then I guess I'll leave you to wonder and go eat my burnt spaghettis."

"I'm wise to you Joey. I know what you're trying to do and it's not working. Jen Lindley will not, I repeat, will definitely NOT touch a dictionary. Dictionaries are evil. You get diseases from them, you know…"

"Yeah like word-lackness"

"Word-lackness is a tolerable disease. I can live with that. I cannot, however live with heavy dictionary headaches and dust-sneezing. It would be too embarrasing for me."

"Fine, then. Can I have my burnt spaghettis now?"

----------------------------------

Next morning, Dawson came to pick Joey up to go to work. He always did that, although Jen's home was actually quite close to Joey's office.

"Hey Jo, had fun?" he kissed her on the lips.

"Great fun, just as usual" Joey smirked.

"Good. Are you ready?"

"Sure"

"Hey guys, do you mind if you drop me off too? Jack took the car and failed to return it yet…"

"Of course not, Jen, hop in!" Joey said enthusiastically while Dawson sighed. "By the way, Dawson, could you drop me off at the library? I gotta get some books… Mr. Darlington specifically requested an exotic type of house so I gotta find some inspiration."

"Sure, honey."

They started the car, and Dawson drove silently. He stopped after fifteen minutes.

"Here it is Jo"

"Dawson, this is the college library"

"Isn't this where you wanted to go?"

"No. I wanted to go to the library I usually go to, downtown…" Joey rolled her eyes.

"Well you should have mentioned that. You know THE library is the college library"

"THE library is the college library when we're in college Dawson. We're not in college anymore"

"Yeah well why couldn't you tell me before?" Dawson raised his voice "I can't turn left now! I gotta go around this freaking park and I'm gonna waste a lot of time"

"Fine, I'll climb down and take the bus, just stop at the first station"

"No, I'll take you but you should have told me before!"

"Dawson, I've been going to this particular library for two years, why on earth would you think I wanna go to the college library?"

"Well it's not like I knew your library of choice." Dawson muttered.

He started driving again in an uncomfortable silence. After another twenty minutes, Dawson stopped in front of the right library. Joey opened the door, but Dawson suddenly grabbed her head, turned to her and kissed her strongly on the lips. It was such a sudden move that Jen nearly freaked out, she almost thought Dawson was going to slap Joey. Joey accepted the kiss, smiled and got out of the car. Dawson wanted to start the car again but then Jen said:

"You know what, Dawson, I got some researching of my own to do. I'll just get off here"

"Sure"

Jen said nothing and went running after Joey.

"What the hell was that?"

"What?"

"THAT! You can't tell me that that is normal behaviour"

"Don't you and Jack ever fight?"

"Of course we fight! We fight all the time! But it's different"

"How?"

Jen couldn't quite say it. Something was wrong and she knew it but she couldn't quite point to the actual problem.

"It's ok Jen. People who love each other fight occasionally. And this was no biggie, by the time I get home it will all be forgotten."