In cold blood

Written by Becca

Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognise and most things you don't

Summary: From the word go, Harry's summer goes downhill and he sinks into a deep despair. With no hope and the resurrection of Lord Voldemort, Harry does what any normal teenager would do in those circumstances; he tries to take his life. When he awakes he finds himself in a family who seem to welcome him openly. He has changed, he is no longer human and yet he still has to defeat the darkest lord of the century...will he stand alone or will he find, in this family, what he had always desired...Love and affection?

Chapter Eight

When they returned to the school, Harry spent the next day by himself, his teachers were all working on their lesson plans as was his family, and he was still trying his hardest to avoid Siri, Remus and Dumbledore (even going so far as to turn and hurry in the opposite direction when they shouted him, pretending he hadn't heard.)

Celeste and Armand both appeared to have admirers of their own as nearly every day letters and parcels appeared for them but they wouldn't give Harry even a clue as to who they were from and so he supposed they sent them to each other, love and all that. He smiled slightly at the thought; it was nice to see people happy, even Severus could be seen smiling every now and again.

After the second day of this though, the loneliness hit Harry like a bomb. When he actually did venture out of the Gryffindor tower, he saw nobody in the corridors except those he was trying to avoid. He didn't bother to attend meals in the Great Hall and instead locked himself up in his dormitory with his homework.

He knew he was being foolish, but well, the thoughts kept churning around in his mind. Maybe it had all been a dream; maybe he had been an idiot to believe himself loved. Struggling with his inner battle, Harry remained in bed and redid all of his essays four times. He didn't sleep a wink and spent the night staring down at the scars on his wrist, loneliness and rejection were his biggest fears and yet he was now confronted with both.

He ran his finger lightly over the scar, shuddering at the feel of it. It was hard to believe he had actually succeeded in killing himself, he wouldn't be here now if it wasn't for Marius, he wasn't so sure he was thankful anymore either. Sure his new family spent heaps of money on him but that didn't mean they cared or loved him, the Malfoy family were experts at that. At that moment, Harry actually found himself contemplating life from Draco Malfoy's point of view and found he actually pitied the blonde.

Biting his bottom lip slightly, Harry looked up at the door and after checking that it was in fact locked, he pulled out the penknife he still had with him. His reminder of the Sirius he had loved, of the Sirius who had loved him or at least pretended too. He cut across his arm, not deep enough to kill himself, but enough to bring up blood and he watched it flow for a minute before he quickly flicked his tongue out and licked out the drops that were about to fall to the floor. He watched as the skin pulled across before his very eyes and scabbed before he did it again and again, knowing that tomorrow, they would be healed and scarred already.

He jumped and looked up, terrified when he felt a hand on his shoulder and found himself looking into the sad eyes of Severus Snape and his father. The pure fear in his eyes quelled all anger the other men may have been feeling and they sat down, one either side of him so that he was in the middle. Harry folded the knife up and threw it in his trunk before pulling his sleeves down and staring at his hands, fidgeting slightly.

"You don't need this my son" Armand whispered as he pulled Harry into his arms, staring down at him sadly whilst Severus quickly charmed the knife without Harry noticing. It would alert them every time it was picked up so that they could be there for him. "We have all missed you so much these past few days, it just isn't the same without you. We were hoping you would come to our rooms to look for us...I'm sorry we weren't here Olwë, but just because we neglected you this once, does not mean we do not love you" Armand added firmly and Harry looked up, biting his lip again

"I – I know, I just, I'm sorry" he whispered and lowered his head again "you didn't neglect me I just thought..." he trailed off again as his father pressed his lips to his head and sighed

"As soon as you are ready my son, as soon as you feel you can let others know then we will have you in our rooms with the rest of the family. Student or not, it is where you belong. I swear I could kill the Dursleys for placing so many doubts in you, you don't see how anyone can love you in any way. You don't see how beautiful you are to others, but we do and we love you," he said firmly. Harry bit his lip and nodded, still not daring to say anything just in case. A thought suddenly came to mind though and he snapped up his head, pleading with his eyes as they locked with his fathers

"Don't tell mum, please don't tell the others," he whispered, fear in his voice and Armand sighed before holding Harry tighter and looking at Severus

"They have to know Olwë if just because they'll kill me if they ever find out. But no, we're a family now and you can no longer work through things by yourself, if we are to help you get through this then we will all do it together." He said gently and sighed again as Harry started to tremble in his arms "you wont be in trouble Olwë, they won't be angry at you. Never fear being hurt by any of us, there is nothing in this world you can do that will make us strike you. Do you understand?" he asked again and Harry studied him carefully for a minute before nodding and looking away.

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Harry sat in the Great Hall with the other teachers and stared into space, debating the pros and cons of telling his secret. If he told, then he would be an outcast from the other students, many would avoid him and this would be something else that made him stand out in a crowd. He could lose his best friends over this and he would be alone but, no, he wouldn't. He would have his family and he would still have Snape, if of course, he even had Snape now.

The Daily Prophet would have a field day and his picture would be on the front cover yet again, telling all of his home life with the muggles and most probably printing lies about how he was kidnapped by the vampires under orders of the Dark Lord and turned into them. His family would be made out to be the bad guys and he himself would of course be the innocent victim. Remus and Sirius would probably never speak to him again, not that Harry was speaking to them now but still, it was nice to know that he could if he wanted too.

The Weasleys would probably never want anything to do with him again, especially when they learned he had a thing for a male...a male who is no other than Severus Snape. He would have to put up with the Slytherins snide comments and pranks and, one of the biggest disadvantages, Dumbledore would be disappointed him in when he learned as to just why the vampires had to turn him. That was something Harry couldn't deal with

But then again, the weight would be off his shoulders, he would not have to hide or lie about anything any more and he would be free to act with his family as he did in secret, no more sneaking around or pretending. They could actually be a family in the eyes of everyone and maybe then, he himself would believe it. Ron and Hermione could remain loyal to him and maybe nothing would change between the three of them and perhaps Remus and Sirius already knew, Remus was a werewolf after all.

Everyone was going to find out sooner or later anyway but would it be better in general if it were sooner rather than later? Was he ready to be pushed below the standards of witches and wizards everywhere just as he had been when he was at the Dursleys? If he told now then the Wizarding world might, as Celeste fears, start a vendetta against the immortals for turning their boy-saviour and Voldemort himself would target Harry's heart, as he would now have a wider range.

That's what scared him most of all, the fact that Voldemort would target his family and Harry just couldn't bear to lose them so soon.

"Harry? Harry, are you ok?" someone called and Harry blinked before looking up to see Dumbledore watching him closely, Harry smiled tightly and nodded, dragging himself away from his thoughts and looking down at his breakfast. That night, the rest of the school would be returning and the halls would once again be full of chattering students. Half of him looked forward to it whilst the other half lived in fear.

"Harry? Come flying?" Marius asked and Harry looked up again and smiled slightly before shaking his head. Not one member of the family had let him out of their sight all morning and it was more than a little annoying, he just wanted some time alone

"No, I have some homework I want to go over" he said and then groaned inwardly when his mother stared at him intently. She was about to open her mouth to say something when Harry looked up and met Severus's gaze, pleading with his eyes

"He can come and work in my office, there are a few things I need to finish anyway" Severus said, looking across to Celeste, she arched an eyebrow at him and smirked before nodded her agreement and Harry breathed an audible sigh of relief, not noticing the looks of confusion they were all getting from the other teachers.

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Harry sat with his chin resting on the palm of his hand and his elbow on the desk as he stared down at the parchment before him. He knew there was nothing at all he could add to it unless he wanted to change the whole thing. It was already longer than it needed to be anyway. He looked up to see Severus sat opposite him across the desk and was watching him intently; the Potions Master didn't even look away when he was caught

"Why didn't you want to be with your family today?" Severus asked eventually, breaking the uncomfortable silence. Harry sighed and worried his bottom lip for a minute before shrugging

"I'm just not used to all the...attention they are giving me and needed some time out is all" he said softly and Severus nodded but still didn't look away. Harry lowered his eyes back to the parchment and read over it for what must have been the fiftieth time before he sighed and threw his quill down

"As you may, or may not have known. I have spent the past few days conversing with your parents and formally requesting the right to date you. It was granted to me this morning and so I would like to ask you if you would do me the honour of accompanying me to Hogsmeade for a date on Saturday" Severus asked again and Harry stared at him openly for a minute before blushing and nodding.

Snape grinned and stood up, pulling the younger vampire into his arms and then pressed their lips together, not once had he managed to get the boy out of his mind lately and his dreams were occupied with pictures of Harry touching himself and reaching his climax. He now explored the mouth before him more freely before they both had to pull away for air. Harry touched his lips again and smiled shyly which made Severus laugh.

They just stood there for a while with their groins pressed together as Severus's arms encircled around Harry's waist. Harry grew hard instantly when he felt the mans own arousal pressed against his and he closed his eyes, resting his head on Snape's chest before moving his hips in a small swaying motion. "The students will be here soon" Snape whispered and Harry sighed before nodding

"I know" he made no move to pull away though and Severus smiled before moving his arms up Harry's back and resting his head on the boys. They just stood there for a while, embracing but then Harry had to pull away and sighed "I should go get ready...don't drink the pumpkin juice ok?" he asked quietly and then his eyes fluttered shut again as Severus squeezed his arousal

"Let me see you again Rúmil? Let me watch you pleasure yourself?" he asked and Harry blushed but nodded. He looked into those dark orbs as Severus deftly unbuttoned his robes.

"Can I – can I watch you too?" Harry asked quietly and Severus grinned before nodding.

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Harry waited nervously besides McGonagall for the rest of the students to arrive. He fidgeted and looked out over the grounds for his friends before lowering his head again. He felt a hand squeeze his shoulder and looked up to see McGonagall watching him intently and she smiled softly at him

"It will all be fine in the end Harry. The headmaster will warn them all not to question or torment you. Your friends will understand. Remember, you can always come and talk to me about anything" she said but before Harry could answer, there was a knock on the main doors. McGonagall opened them to find Hagrid with the first years and she nodded before turning back to Harry "I am always here for you Harry, you can either wait here for your friends or go into the Great Hall" she said and squeezed his shoulder once more before leading the first years away.

Harry stood nervously by himself for a minute and then looked up when he saw Hagrid was still there. He smiled at his friend honestly and allowed himself to be pulled into a hug "I know I've not seen much of ya this summer 'arry but dun' think its 'cos I dun care" the half giant whispered fiercely and Harry beamed at him

"I know Hagrid, its good to see you again" he said and then followed his first ever friend into the Great Hall. Harry waved at him before sitting down at the Gryffindor table, sending his family small smiles and blushing when his eyes landed on Snape. Merlin, he was getting hard again just thinking about it. The doors to the Great Hall opened again and Harry tensed before taking a deep breath and then turning to watch the rest of the students enter.

He was getting impatient now, waiting for Ron and Hermione to enter. It seemed like they were going to be the last ones and he wasn't far wrong either. Ravenclaws, Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs all welcomed Harry back but when Harry's eyes set on three particular people, he stood up. The doors shut behind Ginny but not one of the three Gryffindors appeared to notice, they were all staring at Harry. Everyone else seemed to be watching the four of them curiously as well and Harry knew that most up at the staff table were holding their breaths. Harry hadn't, after all, written to tell his friends he was back and safe and not in the arms of Voldemort.

Eventually, after what seemed like forever, Ginny ran forward and wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him on the cheek again and again "Oh Harry, I missed you so much, I thought – we thought something had happened" she cried and Harry rubbed her back soothingly, whispering comforting words in her ear before he looked up and licked his lips nervously, neither Ron nor Hermione had moved. Finally Hermione came forward slowly, she stopped in front of him and just stared into his eyes for a minute before slapping him hard across the cheek.

The sound echoed throughout the entire hall and Harry closed his eyes briefly to hide his pain. He supposed he deserved that. When he turned his head back to look at his friend again though, she wrapped her arms around him and sobbed openly on his shoulder, pounding onto his chest with her fists "don't you dare do that again Harry Potter, don't you dare" she snarled, she went to hit him again but her fist was stopped in mid air as Raven grabbed her wrist

"What do you think you are doing? You will not harm my bro-student," he snarled but Harry just shook his head at him. Ron stepped forward and smirked, amusement twinkling in his eyes as he looked back and forth from Raven to Hermione who were still glaring at each other.

"Its good to have you home mate" he said and then held out his hand. Harry smiled and took it but was surprised when the redhead pulled him into a tight embrace, patting his back and sighing "She's right though Harry, if you disappear like that on us again, I'm afraid we're going to have to find you and kill you ourselves" he said as he pulled back, Harry laughed and breathed a sigh of relief

"I wont, I promise. At least, not on purpose anyway" he said and only then did he appear to notice everyone watching them. He blushed and ducked his head before sitting down quickly and Hermione muttered an apology before plonking herself down on Harry's knee

"You just try and get away from us this year you bastard" she hissed, causing quite a few of the nearby students to laugh out loud. Harry looked at her confused for a minute before McGonagall entered with the first years and he found himself distracted. He watched as the sorting hat was placed on the stool again but then tuned out the song and just stared at the girl on his lap for a minute. Why wouldn't she get off? Why was she mad at him? It hadn't exactly been his fault he had been kidnapped...well it was, but she didn't know that.

To be honest, Hermione's reaction to his disappearance made up his mind of whether he was going to tell them yet. Not a chance in hell, she would never forgive him, especially if she had reacted so severely just to his being taken away from the Dursleys. Merlin, she would probably kill him for trying to kill himself and getting himself turned. He shook his head to himself and clapped politely.

Up at the staff table, he noticed every member of his family were sat tense and were glaring daggers at Hermione. Snape seemed to be the only thing keeping Celeste from tearing his friend apart. Though he too seemed to be glaring at her, but Harry was sure that was because she was sitting on his knee.

Harry listened as Dumbledore stood up to give the announcements and he clapped politely and grinned as his family was introduced as the new teachers. He applauded Remus and he along with Ron and Hermione were among the only students to make a sound when the name Sirius Black was called. He waited patiently as the old man went on to explain all about what had happened the night his parents were killed and ignored the looks people were sending at him.

Then came the dinner

Harry ate little of his and waited for the fun to begin, he stayed away from his pumpkin juice but did nothing to dissuade Hermione from drinking it. He didn't know whether to be mad at her or not but why wouldn't she get off! Harry grinned when he thought about his date in just five days time, really, that was too far away.

And then it happened

Harry watched with a completely straight face as everyone around him started to pop and then there were students with blue skin, students with different colour hair to match their moods, students who turned into the animal of the opposite house (so for example, Gryffindors turned into Slytherins and vice versa) and students who couldn't speak a word of English. Even the teachers were all affected.

The only ones free of the pranks were himself, his family and Severus...Harry laughed as the headmaster turned into a clucking chicken and he saw mirth in the eyes of the vampires at the head table.