Chapter 14

Joey was numb. She hadn't even thought about it till then. She had told him her name was Potter and she never realized that she lied. She couldn't look at anybody.

"I'm sorry, this is my fault…" Jen said. "I occasionally refer to Joey as Potter and Pacey picked it up from me…"

"Why are you calling Joey 'Potter' when that's not her name?" Dawson was visibly angry.

"It's something I picked up from the times when it was"

"So like you…!" Dawson said through his gritted teeth. "Will you stop coming between me and my wife?!"

Joey turned to him and tried to say something but he wouldn't let her. "No, Joey, I'm serious. I've kept my mouth shut for years now but this is getting unbearable, someone's calling my wife 'Potter' right in front of me and you're acting like it's normal! She has been on my case from the moment we started dating! You think I don't know she's been telling you that you shouldn't have married me? You think I'm not aware that she's talking about me behind my back trying to get you to divorce me?!"

Joey was surprisingly calm: "Dawson, if you and I ever divorce, it will have nothing to do with Jen and will have everything to do with you being a self-centered bastard! Now if you excuse me, I need a drink."

She just turned and left. She was pretty sure she left them stunned behind her but she didn't dare look.

She got to the bar and found Jack having a punch.

"Hey Jack. How's it going for you?"

"The bathroom is annoyingly and infuriatingly insisting to stay occupied and those bushes seem awfully tempting right about now"

Joey giggled. Leave it to Jack to be a really nice guy and make her feel better.

"I think it's Drue and Audrey. She had this ultimate fantasy to have sex in the bathroom."

"Thought it might be something of the sort. They're always the wild ones in our group."

"They seem nice"

"They are. The first time I met Drue, I thought he was a real prick, but the truth is that he tends to grow on you, you know? He's not the sort to open up and that's been his problem for a long time, cause Audrey found it quite hard to trust that he loved her when he never actually said anything."

"Saying it usually helps."

"Of course it does, but, I'll let you in on a little secret: unless the situation is absolutely desperate, we guys usually say those three little words when we feel they are reciprocated. I mean, when your girlfriend is also the closed off type and just keeps to herself until she's sure of you… then you have a problem… and that was the problem with both of them: they were crazy about each other but none of them would actually give in and say it first. She wouldn't trust him and he couldn't bring himself to trust her…"

"I suppose it's understandable… I mean I wouldn't totally trust a guy when he doesn't show his feelings… how am I supposed to know he's not just using me from sex?"

Jack looked at her with a strange smile and Joey realized this was not about Drue and Audrey anymore.

"Joey, if he wanted just sex, he would have gone and picked up a dumb blonde in a bar. It wouldn't be the first time he did that and it wouldn't be a big deal. But he went back home to her every night and he was there for her every time she needed him to be even if she didn't always feel like having sex. He never pressured her into anything, he just waited for her and supported her. How can she not believe he actually feels something?"

Her heart was beating so fast she thought the whole crowd of guests would hear her. There was a long silence and then she just smiled: "I can see Drue and Audrey. I think the bathroom is available now"

"Yeah, I see them too… I'll see you around"

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Jen sat down next to her.

"Joey, you are not having fun at my wedding and I am taking it as a personal offence."

"I'm sorry Jen. I am having a good time. I swear"

"Right. Then how about we dance and leave the life-altering stuff for later... I've had enough angst to last me a lifetime."

"Why don't you go dance with Jack? I didn't realize till today what kind of guy he actually is…"

"Whatever you mean by that?"

"I'm trying to tell you, Jen, that I don't think you could've found anyone better… I am trying to give you some sort of twisted blessing, even though I know you don't need it…"

"Trust me, Joey, I know a good guy when I see him. I may not always know what to do with him, but I know him nevertheless… you on the other hand…"

"I'm sorry about the thing with Dawson… I… I feel a bit stuck in the middle here…"

"Why are we talking about Dawson? I know how you feel, you know how you feel, we both know how I feel… why is Dawson still an issue here? I think you yourself just nailed the final nail in the coffin there…"

"Jen…"

A long silence followed. Joey felt like she was stuck in Beverly Hills 90210.

"Why did you tell him your last name was Potter?"

"I… I just felt like a Potter when I was with him…"

"…and that leads me to my initial question: if that's how you feel, why is Dawson still an issue? I don't have to tell you anything, I am nearly stating what you yourself have already said and done! I am not trying to end your marriage and even if I was if this was something you wanted I wouldn't stand a chance…"

Joey just stuck her head in her hands.

"Come on, Joey, if I don't see you dance I will personally hold you responsible for the mess my wedding has become. Help me revive it."

"Where is Dawson?"

"He left right after you verbally slapped him in his oversized ego."

"…and Pacey?"

"Pacey has made best friends with a gin bottle. Unless he switched to whisky."

"Does he do that often?"

"Only when he has something on his mind. Like having a thing for a married woman…"

Jen hit so close to home that Joey nearly winced. Yeah, he had a thing for a married woman, alright. Just not the one Jen's thinking of.

"Jen, I'm sorry I didn't tell you but…"

"It's ok, Joey. The thing about being friends is that you can't expect them to always tell you everything, actually you can't expect anything. You have to just support them and they'll tell you when they can. I picked that up from Jack and Pacey. They hardly ever talk and yet no-one knows what's happening to Pacey better than Jack."

"He knows"

"I know he does. He always knows."

"And you don't mind that he didn't tell you?"

"It wasn't his story to tell…" Jen turned to Joey. "Expectations suck, Joey. Don't ever have any of those. Dreams are good, wishes are good, but expectations suck. Because when you expect something from someone you're taking that someone for granted."

Jen got up. "Come on, Jo. Enough babbling."

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"May I have this dance, Josephine?"

He took her into his arms and started slowly moving to the rhythm. Joey leaned her head on his shoulder. She felt… complete.

"Don't fall asleep on me, woman. There's only so much of a wounded ego a guy can take."

She raised her head and smiled: "I guess you wore me out"

Pacey chuckled. His eyes were sparkling again. "Well, when you put it that way…" he wiggled his eyebrowes.

They both laughed surprised at how easy it was to feel comfortable together.

"So, Josephine…"

"Potter."

"Yeah… about that… I wasn't sure if I should ask…"

"I love it when you call me Potter… forget about Dawson, forget about everything. Just call me Potter."

He just smiled warmly. "So, Potter… have I mentioned how absoutely stunning you're looking this evening?"

"No, but it's good to know" He knew what to say yet again.

"It is, isn't it?" he giggled, and that's when she remembered he'd been drinking. He was holding up pretty well, just occasionally he'd make this giddy face that would remind her of his 'situation'.

"You're not so bad yourself, Witter."

"You know I'm more than just 'not bad'…" he winked.

"No… 'not bad' is exactly what you are"

"Extremely 'not bad' or maybe this very charming type of 'not bad'…"

"… 'not bad' works for me"

"Geez, woman, you'll be the death of me. Why don't you just call me ugly and get it over with?"

"I was just trying to be polite" she stuck out her tongue.

"Don't use that on me, it might have an unwanted effect" he warned and she felt her heart going out of control again. Finding the exact comeback would be so much easier if he didn't have those sparkly eyes to burn her with.

"Don't talk about unwanted effects if you don't want them" she mumbled.

And there it was again. That Good-Gracious-if-I-don't-take-you-now-I'll-burst look. And there they were again in the bathroom.