Well, here's the last chapter until I get the urge to write more. This song fits so pefectly for the fic it's unreal. And believe it or not, I wrote the fic before I found the song, which is 'Somewhere In Between' by Lifehouse and so obviously doesn't belong to me. In fact all the songs for this series are by Lifehouse so you have to go listen to their album or buy it or something! As soon as you've read this, that is. ;)

Jenn1: Yay! I'm glad you like the Harry monologue. I didn't, but that's besides the point so thank you and bye!

betty brant: I don't know what to say to that so I'll just blush instead and say thank you! And here's MJ for you!

C.D. Anders: I wouldn't consider for one second not sticking Harry in here. ;) Thanks and I will! (hopefully)

Spyder616: It probably says something about you but I don't know what it is, I'm not a psychiatrist after all lol. Thanks! :D

jjonahjameson: Hehee I skip the songs as well, shh, don't tell anyone! ;) I just want to say thanks for wading through my stories and reviewing them, it means a lot to me!

LordLanceahlot: Thanks and your welcome I guess! :D

Moonjava: Thanks, I wrote the ending first actually, then worked backwards from that point. Weird, huh? :P

Everyone who reviewed, thanks again.

The True Feelings of a Heart-BrokenActress

I can't be losing sleep over this

No I can't

And I cannot stop pacing

Give me a few hours and I'll have this all sorted out

If my mind would just stop racing

It'll be different in the morning

It'll be different in the morning.

The sun will come up and the birds will sing and everything will be just rosy.

A letter will come telling me I've got a leading role, and as I put the paper down Peter will fling open the door and twirl me around in a great big hug and we'll kiss underneath the stars that will suddenly appear.

I cannot stand still

I can't be this unsturdy

This cannot be happening

That's what I keep telling myself anyway. It's my mantra. The words I live by. I don't know what I'd do without them, just like I don't know what I'd do without Peter Parker. Or rather, I do know, because I've never been with Peter Parker and now I'm not so certain I ever will be.

Scrap that. I know I'll never be with Peter Parker. In fact scrap the whole saying, I know tomorrow will dawn just as bright as today, which is not very. There's no point crying over spilt milk, that's what my mother would say if she was here. And then my father would tell her to put a lid on all those sayings that don't mean anything, except he wouldn't phrase it quite so politely.

But mother and father aren't here now. It's just me in my lonely apartment, daydreaming about a boy I love and can never have. All I have left is the memory of his lips and the resulting tingle in my own. The sparkling turquoise irises that always seem so wise yet full of laughter. Those eyes and lips that I will never sample again.

This is over my head but underneath my feet

Because by tomorrow morning I'll have this thing beat

And everything will be back to the way it was

I wish that it was just that easy

Perhaps I'm becoming cynical in my old age. It isn't as if I'll never have the chance to see him again, it's just my choice of whether I take it or not. To be or not to be, that is the question. Peter has already made his decision on that account, but I've yet to make mine. I weigh the pros against the cons in my mind. If I go to him I obviously run the risk of rejection, yet if I stay here I could be passing up the chance of a lifetime. Now the question is am I ready to risk my already bruised heart for the glimmer of hope, of happiness, of love at the end of the proverbial tunnel?

I am waiting for tonight

Then waiting for tomorrow

And I am somewhere in between

What is real and just a dream

I avoid the question for a while and take a sip of my drink, scolding myself for procrastinating. The third option is to sit here and put the moment of reckoning off for a couple of weeks or five.

After all, that's what I've been doing ever since the funeral, why stop now? Why not just let the vicious cycle go on and on and on, until I'm old and grey. Perhaps then I'll be able to work up the courage to put my heart on the line again, and until that day I'll sit right here and drink… what is it I'm drinking anyway?

Would you catch me if I fall out of what I fell in?

Don't be surprised if I collapse down at your feet again

I don't want to run away from this

I know that I just don't need this

I turn the bottle over and discover I've been drinking vodka for the last thirty minutes or so. Strange, it had looked and tasted like water until I saw the label. I instantly stand up somewhat shakily and put the bottle down, this time well clear of the similar-looking mineral water bottles. As I sit down again, it suddenly hits me that I made my mind up to stop drinking just then in the space of a second, so why is it so damn hard to make decisions when it comes to Peter?

And I answer myself, he's worth a lot more than a bottle of vodka. A lot more. He doesn't know it, but part of me is resting on his well-being. If he dies, a part of me will die with him, and I fear I'll never get it back. That kind of relationship can't be replaced, I tell myself, and as the thought runs through my brain, I know I've reached my decision.

I cannot stand still

I can't be this unsturdy

This cannot be happening

I can only make tomorrow a better day if I do something to cause it to be, and moping won't do anyone a bit of good. He's a part of me, so surely I must be a part of him in return. It only makes sense, or else he wouldn't be complete.

We belong together.

We are one.

I'll go to him, and it will be different tomorrow.

I am waiting for tonight

Then waiting for tomorrow

And I am somewhere in between

What is real and just a dream

What is real and just a dream

What is real and just a dream

Fin

It was a nice change to write this series, but I've found I much prefer the third person, so I'm back to writing in my old style again. I'll post Smoking On the Rooftops in a few days, then after that I'll be working on my new fic tentatively titled Costly Mistakes, which should be even longer than Surprise, Surprise. Anyways, enough of the shameless plugging, now for some shameless begging. Review, please review! I'm begging you to review! Please! ;)