Chapter 12

Name: Sara Sidle

Father's Name: Gil Grissom

Mothers Occupation: PhD Student, University of Nevada

Father's Occupation: Supervisor, CSI Crime Lab

Reason for considering adoption…

Sara put her pen down.

Reason for considering adoption…

Reason for considering adoption...

Reason for considering adoption…

What was she going to say? She didn't know. She knew other things though. She could say that the little girl in her belly would probably have dark curly hair that would become more unruly when it was humid out. She would be very smart and a little moody. She would probably be drawn to the sciences but might be artistic like her paternal grandmother, the gallery owner or her maternal mother whose handmade quilts were known throughout the country.

She just knew that this was best for the baby. Babies needed parents who were committed and loved one another. She couldn't give her baby that but she could give her a chance.

When Grissom had gotten the call about the adoption he told Sara that he understood but he didn't. He didn't understand how she could bear to give up their child. When he had asked if she would let him raise the baby she'd whispered that she couldn't live with that either and had hung up the phone.

Sofia and Grissom were on sparse speaking terms. She had tried in vain to win his attention back with talk of them being a real family. For a time he had considered it, as it would be the least he could do for the one daughter he had left. Ultimately he decided that lying for the sake of his daughter was like lying to his daughter and he was a man that could not stomach another lie.

Grissom called Sofia to make sure she was okay, met her at the doctors and tried to look at this daughter as the blessing she was. It was best not to think of Sara. She's turned in her resignation a week after her OBGYN had confirmed her pregnancy.

Catherine watched him slide into despair, unsure what to do. She had no idea that her close friend had battled such demons for years. He had never shared much of his personal life with her and she had thought there was not much personal life to share.

One winter morning, she tapped on his door. His voice ushered her in.

"Hey"

He looked over his glasses. "Hey"

"How you doing? Really."

His days of keeping secrets were over.

"Not great. Pretty badly."

"How's Sara?"

"Fine I guess. She's not talking to me."

Catherine closed the door and leaned against it.

"And Sofia?"

"She's doing great. The baby is healthy."

"When is she due?"

Grissom frowned. "You know I don't know. I would guess sometime in April"

"She hasn't told you when she's due?"

Grissom rubbed the bridge of his nose. He was tired. He imagined that he felt Sara laughing in his ear and urging him to come home.

"Sara, the door is not locked. What are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?"

"Sara, we can't we're at work."

"Then come home."

"I don't think so. Maybe I forgot."

"Maybe" Catherine stood and smiled down at her friend. She touched her hands to Gil's face. A year ago neither she nor he would have felt comfortable with that kind of contact.

"You hang in there, okay Gil? All is never as bad as it seems."

Ruefulness played across his face, "I have two daughters on the way. One of which will be born to a woman that I'm not married to, the other I probably will never see and the woman I have loved for nearly a decade is done with me. Cath, I think it's pretty bad."

Catherine looked at her friend's sad eyes.

"How about you come over for lunch next Sunday? Lindsey misses you. Besides you need to learn how we parents of daughters do it."

"Will you make your chocolate cake?"

"You've got it."