yatte, I actually got some reviews! Thanks you guys!

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Falcon Strife: -wink- actually, I was planning on making Hao mess up on all his little match-ups. How'd you know? I just mean, he'll screw up for a bit, but in the end it'll be Yohna, HoroTamao, etcetera etcetera. I do those pairings because they're so common because people like them...did that make sense? Thanks for you criticism, anyway! I don't mind.

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wingweaver22: -stares at her as if her just asks her if entrails are inside or outside- dudette...-points at genre obviously announcing "Romance/HUMOR"-

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Yohna: Hao definitely has good taste! (And good looks. Hee-hee...)

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Cindy Asakura and s91: thanks!

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kitty81090: I definitely will be writing lots of HaoxJeanne in the near future. ;D

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By the way, Yoh and Anna and co. are around eighteen now.

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Disclaimer: hmm, let's play a little game of twenty questions. First question: do I own Shaman King? NO! Now leave me alone to sulk in my dark corner. -sulks in dark corner-

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Cupid

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Chapter Two: The Appearance

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earth, asia, japan, funbari onsens, anna and yoh's room

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Anna emerged from the bathroom, hair dripping and a towel wrapped around her figure. She was grabbing some clothes from her bureau when the electricity abruptly went out.

Hearing the cries of surprise and fright from the other residents and customers of the onsens, Anna tightened the cream towel around her firmly and opened a drawer, searching for a flashlight so she could go down in the basement and check the basements. "Where's that stupid light Manta gave us," she grumbled while scuffling through the contents of the drawer. "Horo Horo better not have eaten it or something."

But, apparently, her search was un-needed. (INSERT DRAMATIC MUSIC HERE.) There was a sudden movement, a flare of light, and there stood Asakura Hao, the evilest shaman to live (or die, haha), holding a fire in the palm of his hand and smirking.

"Need light?"

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--- (sorry for that hopeless cliché. -coughs pathetically like Howl from Howl's Moving Castle-)

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the kitchen, a few minutes later

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"Parent killer!"

Hao rubbed his temples. "Since when did Lyserg get invited to our little...tryst?" he grinned, winking at Anna. Anna just glared and crossed her arms over her chest. "Since I said so. Now shut up and tell me what you're doing here."

Hao opened his mouth to say something, but Yoh beat him to it. "That's contradictory, Anna-chan..." he said nervously, raising a finger. Hao grinned. "Twins think alike!"

Anna glowered at him. "That doesn't pronounce you innocent! What are you doing here?" she demanded once more.

"Parent killer!" Lyserg accused again.

Hao rubbed his temples, closing his eyes with a sigh. "As I said before," he began, casually flicking a spark of ember onto Lyserg's Sherlock-Holmes-biting-off-coat and setting it aflame, "I'm a demi-god. The god...Cupid, to be exact."

Anna's eye twitched. "You're lying," she said bluntly.

"And you, my dear Anna, are very wrong," Hao replied, just as bluntly. "If you'd like a demonstration..." He smiled slyly.

"Hurry up with it," she snapped back.

Hao's smile grew to an evil grin and held his hand out in front of him. A bow materialized on it, while a quiver of arrows appeared, slung over his back. Picking two short, red-tipped arrows from the quiver, he notched them to his bow, aimed, and fired at his surprised twin and his green-haired rival with (ahem) godly speed and accuracy.

Anna gasped as the arrows struck Yoh and Lyserg, then disappeared in a flurry of red sparkles. The two seemed unhurt, yet dazed.

Turning to Hao angrily, she raised her hand to slap him, and did--but her hand passed right through his face, as though...he was a ghost. (Dun dun dun! Apparently so...-sweatdrop-) "What did you do to them?" she hissed irately.

Hao just shook his head and motioned for her to look at Lyserg and Yoh, grinning maniacally.

(!! SHOUNEN-AI WARNING HERE. COULDN'T HELP IT. NOT THAT I LIKE SHOUNEN-AI. HAD TO HAPPEN. -dies- ALL IN THE HORRIBLE NAME OF HUMOR. !!)

Lyserg turned to Yoh. Yoh turned to Lyserg. They stared at each other with expressions of such love and adoration that Anna stepped backwards. Then their faces inched towards each other--

"What spell have you cast on my husband and Lyserg?" Anna shrieked in Hao's ear, pointing at the kissing duo.

Hao nonchalantly polished off his golden bow, trying to contain his smugness but failing miserably. "A love spell," he said unnecessarily. "You...should have listened to me in the first place," he snickered. "Not to worry, Anna dear, the spell will wear off in twenty minutes. So we'll be alone in that time..." he raised his eyebrow suggestively.

Anna was just about to try and slap him again when Horo Horo and Tamao walked by the kitchen, Tamao saying to Horo Horo, "Then you take a knife and make an 'x' in the middle of the pie...HAO?!!"

Hao sighed mock-abysmally. "You guys really hate me, don't you?"

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thirty minutes later

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The spell had worn off (thankfully), Horo Horo had finally managed to get Tamao to stop hyperventilating, and Ren, Pirika, Manta, and Ryu had come over.

"...So let me get this straight," Ryu said slowly, trying to hold his cup elegantly and failing miserably, "You've been sent back to Earth by the Great Spirit as a reward of your...'good behavior'."

"And," Manta continued for him, sitting on a chair made especially for him and his height (which hadn't increased over the years), "the Great Spirit has bestowed upon you the powers of Cupid."

"'So he can inflict chaos on the Shaman King and his family and friends as he wishes,'" Ren read off the contract the Great Spirit had conjured up for Hao to show them. "Signed, the Great Spirit." The Chinese shaman looked up and banged his carton of milk (if you haven't noticed, in the anime his milk is always in these weird little cartons shaped like pyramids, o.O) down on the table. "Why should we believe you?" he asked in disgust to the fire akuma.

"It has the Great Spirit's signature, doesn't it?" Hao said innocently. "Why haven't you tried to kill me yet if you didn't believe me, anyway? And just ask Lyserg or Yoh. My spell worked, didn't it?"

Lyserg and Yoh glanced at each other occasionally and shuddered every now and then. Ren turned back to Hao, looking even more disgusted. "That still doesn't prove anything!" he snapped.

Hao tapped the parchment and sipped his tea, closing his eyes and raising his face to the ceiling. "There's a post script, if you didn't notice."

There was a mad scramble to look at the paper while Hao persisted to put his nose in the air. "'P.S. I, the undersigned, Asakura Hao, agree to these conditions made by the Great Spirit of the Three Heavens and the One Earth as long as I also agree not to destroy my twin's descendants' lives when I get reincarnated five hundred years later,'" Pirika read off of the document, leaning over Ren's shoulder to see it; her hair hung over his face. Her hair smelled nice, Ren thought. Then his hair twitched. Since when did he think of his gluttonous ally's sister like that?!

Hao, with his special-spiffy-cool-seksay-mind-reading powers, noted this gleefully.

Anna looked over to Hao. "What should happen if we refuse?" she inquired, giving him an Evil Eye.

Hao continued drinking his tea, looking offhand. "Ahh...all that'll happen will be..." he paused to think. "You'll be inflicted by ten plagues, be struck barren/never be able to bear children with your...loved one, your furyoku and shaman powers will be taken away, you'll all be separated from each other, and...oh yeah, you'll be struck by lightning," he concluded, smiling brightly at them.

Horo Horo finally spoke up. "Why did the Great Spirit go through all this trouble just for you?" he asked.

"Well, I've always believed that the Great Spirit had a soft spot for me," said Hao thoughtfully. "Fine, fine," he amended hastily when everyone glared at him. "I'm not too sure about that...but it makes up a great plot for a story, doesn't it?"

Everyone stared at him again.

"...I'll shut up now."

Hana, who had snuck up behind Hao and taken a curiously-shaped bottle from one of his back pockets, had been playing with it for the whole discussion. Suddenly, the cork came free and fell out, letting loose a huge cloud of pink smoke that descended upon the Mankin gang.

Let the chaos begin, shall we?

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tsuzuku

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Ehehehe...kind of a boring chapter, but I had to do SOMETHING. O.o I have no idea WHEN the heck Anna bore Hana, so I just winged it and...yeah. T.T Review, or I'll sic Opacho and Manta on you! .