"Out of Reason"
Summary: The other side of "Why Not?". We already know what's going on Lilly's mind. Now, let's see Scotty's thoughts on that slow day at work….
Spoilers: Season 1.
Disclaimer: As you already know, they're not mine.
A/N: This L/S shipper thing is going out of my control… Suddenly I felt this urge to write Scotty's side on this story, and well, here it is. I hope you guys like it. I'd love reviews.
On this last week, things were slow as they had never been. A week of paperwork… Scotty couldn't take it anymore. This was funny, because last week he was so swamped in his late paperwork he prayed for days like this.
As he drank some coffee in the coffee room, Scotty observed his partner working on the computer. She had been acting weird on the last days. He couldn't help being worried with it, after all, they worked together the whole day – and night, sometimes – long. And, they had become friends. Well, kind of. Scotty wasn't sure if he could consider himself Lilly's friend. He knew absolutely nothing about her. Not that he didn't want to know. Lilly was the one who didn't seem to appreciate the idea of opening up.
He walked to his desk, back to his paperwork. "Whoa! What did this innocent keyboard do to you?" He asked, as he noticed how hard Lilly was hitting the keys on the keyboards. He put a joking smile on his face, trying to get a smile back from her.
Lilly did smile, but not the open, happy smile Scotty had hoped for. "Yeah… I kind of…got lost in my thoughts." Scotty could guess what thoughts those were. Three days before he said something about her and Kite and she quickly mentioned that they weren't together anymore. Scotty wanted to ask what happened, and if she was ok, but Lilly changed the subject so quickly he didn't even have time to formulate the questions in his head.
"Yeah… It happens." It was the only thing he managed to say, even though, deep down inside, he wanted to know how it happened, and ask if Lilly needed him to punch Kite on the face. However, he chose to go back to his paperwork.
Like Lilly, Scotty had a hard time concentrating. He was going through his own problems too. He still wasn't sure he did the right thing with Elisa. They had been together for so many years, and for so many times he stood by her side when her disease got bad. And now matter how hard it was, he never had a doubt that it was what he wanted to do. What happened now, that made him feel like he couldn't handle this anymore? He was trying, unsuccessfully; to accept that maybe he didn't love Elisa anymore. And this possibility was tearing his world apart, because his love for Elisa was one of the foundations of his life.
In the midst of all these thoughts, he suddenly felt like Lilly was looking at him. Maybe his face was giving away that he wasn't thinking about work. He glanced at her but she seemed concentrated in whatever she was doing. Either he was dreaming or she was really quick.
Well, since she wasn't looking… he glanced at her again. This time, he let his eyes stay on her for a few moments. She was that kind of mysterious, fascinating woman that could drive any man crazy. She was beautiful, intelligent, nice to talk to… yet, she was alone. Her last relationship had lasted nothing more that a few weeks. What was the reason made Lilly Rush always carry that sadness in her eyes, that made her built that barrier around her, preventing people from coming closer?
He turned his head again to the papers on this desk. He looked at the papers but he couldn't see any letters printed, all he had in front of him was all the blue of her eyes. That actually scared him, because it was Lilly. "You can't think about Lilly that way, Scotty?" He thought. Why not? "What a question. Because it's Lilly".
If that reason could seem enough before, it wasn't being enough now. Both sides of that situation were tormenting him – the fact that the he was thinking about Lilly that way, and the fact that he never thought of her that way before. "What kind of men are you, Scotty? You got that beautiful woman right beside you, everyday, and you just look at her like she's one of the guys?" Scotty felt an urge to bang his head on the desk to make that thought go away, but he controlled himself. A week ago he would be able to make a list of reasons not to think these things. But now… out of reasons.
Maybe she was really looking at him before. "No," He shook his head. "It was impossible that she was thinking the same thing about him." Scotty was sure Lilly could only think of him as her little brother. "What a slow day can do to you," he thought, "how could I think about that possibility?"
He quickly glanced at Lilly again. She seemed disturbed. She had her hands over her cheeks. She did look like she was blushing. "Are you ok, Lil?" Scotty asked. She was so cute he couldn't help smiling. He was going to say something to make sure she didn't think he was making fun of her, but Lilly didn't give him time.
"I'm fine, sure. Just need some coffee." She said as she got up to head to the coffee room. Scotty just watched, having no idea of what was going on with her. And then, all of a sudden, Lilly trips on a chair that was on her way.
"Ok." Scotty said to her as he watched all this. He couldn't help laughing at her. She was making all the efforts possible to hide whatever was going on with her, but the effects seemed to be opposite. She was adorable.
Finally, Lilly made it to the coffee room. From where he was sitting, he couldn't see her, so he didn't bother to keep looking that way. One more time, he pretended he was looking at the papers on his desk, when all he could think about was how wonderful that woman was, and how wrong it was to be thinking those things.
Suddenly, Stillman showed up at his desk, and woke him up from his daydream. He asked Scotty to find Lil and then come to his office, because they have a new case to look at. Scotty gets up and heads to the coffee room.
As he got there, he noticed that Lilly was laughing. That was such a rare thing to see, so he didn't interrupt. He just stood here, watching her, for about 15 seconds.
"You wanna fill me in on the joke?" He said, feeling that it would be better if he called her, rather than she coming back to Earth and finding him there.
As Lilly searched for words, Scotty thought maybe he went too far. What would she think if she realized he was watching her? She could never know what was on his mind. Scotty was sure she would laugh at it. Finally, she said, "Oh, it was nothing…" She got up. "It was just…"
"Thoughts." He interrupted her, smiling. He decided not to torture her any longer.
"Yeah, just thoughts." She nodded. "So, you need something? Coffee?"
"No. Just came to call you. Boss has something for us." He said.
"Great!" Lilly said. She had that spark of happiness in her eyes, the same one she got whenever a new case came in, a new chance to make justice. Lilly's passion for her job made Scotty admire her since they met.
"Let's go." Scotty said, smiling. As he turned around, he quickly remembered everything he had been thinking in the last minute. "You need to get out more, Scotty." He thought. "But why look outside when everything you need might be already by your side?" said the voice in the back of his head.
Scotty chose to leave that question unanswered. For now.
THE END