A/N: I kill someone in this, as a head's up okay? it's one of Magneto's crew
Hey I drew Audri in her X-Men gear!!! Check out profile for link to my Deviant art page!
Disclaimer: I own NOTHING
Part - one: Ashes – to – Ashes
Chapter Six: She's not coming back
"Scott, I vas told eet vas okay," Kurt said quickly, fearing the glare he knew lay behind the shades.
"Talk. NOW."
Kurt sighed; "Dis is the best room for Audri, Scott. You are not the only von who mourns over Jean, vee all do, but dere is no point in sadness ven you know it vill not bring her back! Except it, Scott, Jean is gone to a better place. Vee must move on vit our lives, dat is vat we have to do. Otherwise, vee will rot inside, torn by our grief. You are a strong person, Scott; prove that you can rise above dis. I know Jean meant a lot to you, but you must know dat she is in a better place…" he sighed again, this time out of weariness over the situation; "I cannot tell you more. Audri needs this room now. It vill always be Jean's, but now, it is hers."
"Is that all?" Scott asked; "My God, Kurt," the blue mutant's eyes flared at that. Scott caught it; "what, didn't like me saying that? Well fuck what bothers you; you've got no idea what I'm going through. So what if it's been a month already, it's been a month of hell. We were already at the door, but Jean dying for us was the last straw."
"You should be happy she died for us!" Kurt shouted suddenly, his fangs bared at Scott's ignorance;" You should be happy she gave you Anodder chance at life! You should be grateful someone cared enough for you to die at the cold hands of that damned water!"
Scott was quiet, slightly surprised by the outburst and Kurt's weary, angered face; "You don't think I know that?" he retorted angrily; "OF COURSE I KNOW THAT!!!! But it's the fact that she's gone that bothers me! I'm never going to see her again, I'm not going to hear her laugh, I'm never going to see her smile at me and say 'I love you'. I never told her! I never told her," he finished, finally breaking down and falling to his knees. He slammed his fist down on the floor, and Kurt slowly bent before him, face now sympathetic.
"Scott, look at me," Kurt said; "LOOK AT ME," he was being dead seriously, his speech clear, and this made Scott look at him. Hot angry tears trailing down his face; "You are looking at a man who knows grief at no bounds, do not tell me that I do not know," Kurt said; "It is you who does not know. You do not know, or understand, dat those who die go to better places, at least those of good lives. Jean is gone, yes, but you might see her again. You might," he rose, and Scott watched him.
Kurt looked at the necklace he wore- a silver chain with the pendant of a saint on it. It was of Jude; the saint of all lost causes. Taking it off, he let it fall to the floor, and Scott stared at it. The saint was kneeling, head and hands held towards the sky as rays of Grace fell around him. Scott reached for it, and held it, listening as Kurt said; "There is an angel in there. Not only has Jean saved us all, but she has saved another by giving herself as well. God would accept her in Heaven… how could He not…?" he finished, before turning on his heel and walking away, leaving Scott on his knees and in the hallway. His tail, swishing back and forth rhythmically, made the only sound.
Scott looked up, catching the dusty rays of sun coming through the window out of the corner of his eye. Sighing shakily, he held the pendant to his chest and rose slowly. Looking around, he then walked to his room, where he would close the door and pull out the dusty old bible from his desk drawer.
Rogue and Bobby sat out in the gardens, walking around. Even though it was mid October, Ororo had made it her duty to keep the flowers living and flourishing until December. And they were thriving, they were beautiful. Hand in hand, the pair walked to the fountain, sitting down on the edge.
"What do you think?" Bobby suddenly asked quietly.
"About what?" Rogue replied, confused.
"About the angel," Bobby said; "did you see her eyes? I wonder what happened to her…"
"There's no point in wondering, is there?" Rogue asked, and bobby looked at her; "I mean, whatever it is, the professor and Mister McCoy will come up with some solution… right?"
"Yeah, they will," Bobby assured her; "But… you've gotta wonder… why would Magneto want her?"
Rogue shrugged; "I don't like thinking about it," Rogue said, sighing; "I mean, even if she was mutated, she's still… well she looks like a real, authentic angel. I mean, it's not right to see one so hurt like that. None of the angels I've ever seen, well, the pictures and stain glass-windows, they haven't been sad. Well, at least not hurt like her…"
Bobby nodded; "Do you think she'll stick around?" Rogue asked.
"Well, where else would she go?" Bobby asked; "I mean, if the world knew an actual angel existed, the churches would be fighting over her. Pretty soon, there'd be some war between all the doctrines of Christianity and Judaism. So, chances are she's safest here…"
"Good point."
"Mama? Where's daddy gone?"
"Honey, he's away on business. Come on, let's get inside. It looks like rain…"
"But, there's no clouds, mama!" a laugh escaped, a child's laugh; "there has to be clouds for it to rain!"
"Honey you know what I mean. Now let's get inside."
"Yes, mama…"
That had been it, the first lie, the first hidden secret…
"Dad, why are you home so late?"
"Adrianna, get back to bed…"
"But dad, you've… got blood on your shirt…!"
"I know, Adrianna, now get to bed!"
"I won't until you tell me what's been going on!"
"You're too young to understand! Now GET TO BED!"
"Fine! But I won't let you live this down!"
She had been fourteen then, now it was so clear…
The scraping of the brakes, the glass shattering all around, the scream, the rough hands and the explosions…
With a start Audri woke, shaken. Wiping her eyes, she sniffed and bit her lip as the tears came. She couldn't hold them back, and she covered her face as she bawled. She suddenly remembered everything, every secret she found out, every detail. It rushed her like a sudden hurricane, and as a sudden headache hit she moaned. Birthdays, fights, grades, French art museums, the Tower… everything… everything was rushing her mind…
Audri let out a silent scream, then fell limp as she zoned out, re-ordering her thoughts…
Finally, Audri stared out the window, gazing out longingly at the painted sky. Reds, pinks, purples, soft oranges and gold's; darkening blue backdrop, grey-white clouds, eternity stretching on forever. She sighed, tired from having to flip over. She felt so weak, so helpless, and so sick. But it was not the sickness that medicine could cure. No, she would need the Midas Touch of Saints; this depression was quickly setting in.
At once Audri wanted someone to hold her, to make it all go away. She just wanted for the pressure and the reality to disappear for a moment. She wanted to fly away, but she was only just beginning to feel her wings and they were far too heavy for her. She let out a sob, crossing her arms over her chest as she closed her eyes and sobbed again, her head against a pillow. Silently, the tears came, and she buried her face in the pillow. She mustn't have been crying for long, because there was a knock on the door. Audri sat up slowly, legs crossed and hands supporting as she thought on who might be outside the door.
"Audri?" came a feminine voice with a distinct accent; "May I come in? It's Ororo…"
Audri didn't reply, and she heard the door open; "Audri, are you alright?" Ororo asked kindly; "We heard a moan, and…"
"Is Kurt here?" Audri asked quietly, looking over her shoulder at the woman. She saw Ororo's eyes widen, apparently in surprise, and Audri looked away, back out the window.
"I'll get him," Ororo said, and quickly she left the room.
Audri bowed her head and closed her eyes. No more than a minute later, she heard the already familiar bamph and the smell of sulfur briefly filled the room.
"Audri," Kurt said quietly, coming over to sit down beside her, careful of her limp wings. Kurt looked to see she had been crying again; "What is dee matter?"
Audri sniffed; "I remember," she said distantly, sadly, shaking her head; "everything, all at once," she whispered, then she looked at him; "I want to get out of here, Kurt," she said, "Suddenly, I don't feel safe…" she began to shake as she sighed, her arms the worst.
"Here, lay down," Kurt said gently, easing her down. Propping himself up on one elbow, he stretched out beside her; "This must be hard, Audri, I can see myself in your position," he began; "But dis, dis feeling you experience, eet is a result of what you've been t'rough. You are safer here right now den any vhere else."
Audri looked away; "It's too much," she said, finally rolling into him and burying her head in his chest; "Just make it go away, Kurt. I—I thought it was harder not knowing, but…but…"
"Shh, I know, ange, I know," Kurt hushed, rubbing the spot between her wings. He closed his eyes as he listened to battle it out with her emotions. He couldn't truly imagine being in her position, but his heart leapt to help her, he could only do what came naturally.
Scott found himself in the main library, staring at the pendant in his hand. The profound emotion Kurt had expressed; it was a dire concern and worry… for him. At first, the two had been distant, and after… what happened, they just couldn't see eye to eye. And now that angel chick was here, things had gotten so weird. She was in… her room… No, Scott thought, I… I need to be able to move on…
It was just too hard to say her name now. Jean. There, he at least had the power to think it. Barely. It hurt so badly, though, he bartered with himself. And it was true, the pain. How it came wave after wave with every thought or notion, even the sound of water had him disheartened. It was sad, that he just couldn't admit that she wasn't coming back.
Scott shook his head and rubbed his eyes wearily. Looking at the pendant, he tried to draw his concentration elsewhere. Jude, there was a song about someone named Jude… a saint, too… He couldn't avoid the topic of Faith any longer.
Scott got up, and quickly went to the nearest bookshelf. Almost instinctively, he found a Bible. It was old, the leather tattered around the edges, the pages a faded yellow and brittle. Carefully opening the cover, Scott marveled at the calligraphy-style title text. Closing it again, he closed his eyes, and then opened the Bible.
As his eyes graced the first bolded lettering, he saw it read "Psalm 51"…
"Um… Professor Summers?"
With a slam Scott shut the book, and looking up, he saw a student walking up to him, a spiral notebook clutched in her hands nervously. Scott caught her eyes flash an almost translucent yellow for a spilt second, and he smiled kindly.
"Yes, Morgan?" he asked.
"Um, could you help me out with this homework? I'm a little confused…" the girl, Morgan, walked up, holding out her notebook. She had a worksheet atop it.
"Of course, Morgan, what's got you confused?"
"Charles… a word?"
"Of course, Ororo, come in."
Ororo slipped through the double doors, entering the office of the renowned professor. After alerting Kurt, she had then rushed over to discuss the angel's current state. Xavier looked up from a healthy stack of papers, and smiled gently as she sat down in front of his desk. But at the look of seriousness the storm wielder held on her normally gentle features, Xavier's own smile faded.
"It's about the angel," Ororo began; "I… Charles, I fear she isn't stable."
Xavier nodded; "I know full well that she may not be," He said, and Ororo's eyes widened in surprise.
"She could hurt someone, Charles!" Ororo suddenly said; "What if she lost her sanity for a single moment, and in that moment, one of the students got in the way?"
"Somehow, Ororo, I feel that, if Adrianna did lose her sanity, she would not hurt any one of us," Xavier said calmly, his hands together and resting atop his desk; "I was able to briefly enter her mind before something began to force me away," he explained; "This girl knows hardship and grief, and her soul is pure by default. No matter what she goes through in life, whether it is persecution or salvation, she will not wish harm on anyone she cares for, or feels obligated to."
Ororo sighed; "She only trusts Kurt, Charles, surely that says something."
"It does," Xavier said; "Kurt so far has been the one who has shown her true respect and trust;" when Ororo seemed confused, he clarified; "She reads eyes, Ororo, it's a gift of hers. She can read emotions, feel them as if they're her own. All she has to do is look someone in the eye…"
"How'd you come about this?"
"I couldn't help but notice," Xavier replied; "When she woke in the lab, she looked me in the eyes, for a spilt moment, and she automatically veered away, as if realizing something that proved I didn't deserve to just be bowled over. And then when she was in the hall, how everyone circled her, she curled up and looked at everyone through the gap in her wings. She wouldn't even glance at Rogue, and she didn't look Kurt in the eye either when he helped her."
Ororo was silent as she thought on the professor's findings; "That's quite remarkable, Charles," she said at last; "She must find herself the martyr at times…"
Xavier nodded; "There is something else, as well," he said, his voice lowering; "Something about her just doesn't seem to be seen. I believe she has a hidden power, one that's triggered only by certain emotions…"
"Anger?" Ororo quipped.
"Yes. That, and possibly others."
"We've got a handful this time."
"But I'm sure it's nothing the team can't handle."
Audri fell asleep after calming down, and Kurt stayed, watching her. He noticed how her eyes moved under her eyelids, and how her face would change slightly, muscles pulling to form frowns or grimaces. He took a chance to sit up, and look at the metal band around her wing. It seemed so simple, but there had to be something deeper to its purpose. Cautiously, Kurt reached out, and touched it. He was shocked instantaneously, and backed away fearfully. Staring at it wide-eyed, he then looked at Audri. The pieces came together then, and he thought"
Dat is vaht is stopping her vings!
TBC
A/N: well there yall go! don't forget the picture I drew!!! check out my profile for the link!!