And now I'm back...from outer space....I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face...umm..yeah..that's enough...
Di-freaking-claimer: I do not own Degrassi, or the song Carry You Around, which is by the amazing Ani Difranco. Coo? Coo.
Enjoy!
Weeks had passed since that first happy coupling in Mark's classroom. They had fallen into a comfortable routine, Mark would go to Ashley's house on Monday's and Thursday's, after Ashley's parents went to work, and after she had sent Toby to JT's. Sometimes he would cook for her, and sometimes she would surprise him with his favorite; Greek food. After initially wrinkling her nose as the suggestion of Gyros, Ashley had given up and now found herself craving one whenever she wanted to be with him.
One Monday night, after everyone was gone, and he was busy cooking her Vodka Al Penne, the phone rang.
"Hello?"
How pleased
Can one sun setting make you?
"Ashley?" The voice on the other end asked. It was a male, around her age, someone who she knew..or thought she did.
If you humble your self
To it?
"Craig?" She asked incredulously.
"Yeah, it's me," He admitted, sounding somewhat sheepish.
Ashley paused, waiting impatiently for him to say why the fuck he was calling her after the horrible break up.
"Well..I...I think I made a mistake":
How grateful
Can you really say
That you are
"Really?" She said skeptically, watching Mark out of the corner of her eye.
"Yeah, and well.. Me and Manny are over.." Craig started, but then stopped. There was a moment of uncomfortable silence.
Just to be here
And live
Through it?
"I'm not sure what you want me to say Craig" Ashley said, going for haughty, but it ended up as more of a plea. She winced, hating the way she sounded when she talked to him.
And when beauty
Asks a question
How often do you reply?
Mark slid up behind her and kissed her neck as Craig went on and on about the reasons that he slept with Manny and how she was just a piece of ass, while Ashley was the real thing. Ash closed her eyes and tried to concentrate on Mark kissing her neck. But somehow the only thing she could hear was Craig's voice, the voice of a guy she had thought she loved.
How often do you wonder
About life
on the other side?
"..And I really think you were the one Ashley" He finished, sounding pathetic and weak.
Ashley kept her eyes squeezed shut, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill over.
"Craig, I'm not here to be picked up and dropped whenever it's convenient for you."
"It's not like that Ash, I swear!"
"Oh really? Then how would it be? I'd have to step aside when ever a hot girl walks by? I'd have to leave if there was a hottie in the room, so you would be free to hit on her, while you're girlfriend waits outside the door!?" Ashley had never felt so pissed off in her entire life. Mark, sensing that this was not a time to be kissing, stood back and simply wrapped his arms around her waist, comforting her.
On the other side of
Anger
On the other side of
Rage
On the other side of
Ok
At all
And anyway
"Is that how it would be Craig?" She finished, her eyes practically spurting flames.
"No I-" He began, but Ash cut him off.
"You know something Craig? I'm sick of your excuses. Go feed them some poor pathetic girl who will actually believe them."
Now imagine what loneliness
Will drive someone to do
Now multiply that times me
And multiply that times you
"Ash..I.." He began lamely.
"And another thing. I want my fucking guitar back" With that, she slammed the phone down, and spun into Mark's arms.
"Shhh..it's ok..oh sweetie, I'm so sorry for you. Shh..I've got you now"
They stood like that for a long time, Ashley letting nerves being soothed by him. Finally she realized what she really needed.
"Hey Mark?" she mumbled into his chest
"Mmhmm?" He murmured in response.
"I'm kinda hungry... is dinner ready yet?"
He pulled away and laughed. "Yes princess, your dinner is almost done. Give me ten minutes, k?"
Ashley nodded. "Ok. I'm going to go outside for a few. I just need to chill." She gave him a quick peck on the cheek.
Now imagine what it would take
To make this all
Happen again
Just when you think your gonna cry
Multiply that times 10
Ashley slipped on a corduroy jacket and headed outside. She sat down underneath a tree in her side yard. Feeling around in her pockets, she located half a pack of cigarettes and her blue Bic lighter. Smoking was something she took up just a few weeks ago, and knew she had to quit, but it fit her jaded woman image so perfectly. Inhaling deeply, she felt a calm slide over her, and her nerves were quieted.
You
Are distracting me
From all other actives
Ashley breathed out, watching deep gray smoke slid into the cool night air, just thinking. It was so hard to talk to Craig now, with them being basically estranged. She knew it was over between them, but sometimes she wanted it to be how it was, comfortable and relaxed. There was something about this relationship with Mark that she loved as well. When she was with him she felt comfortable, but there was an edge to it that she had lacked with Craig. She guessed it had something to do with that fact that it was illegal, but surprisingly she didn't feel threatened by the 6 year age difference
I know the effect of your presence
Will dominate memories of
This restaurant
This table
This day
This town
Ashley realized, as she took her last drag, that her and Craig really did have something special. And hard as she may try to erase it, it was there. It was something that was etched into her memory. And good or bad, memories didn't fade. Craig was something she would have to live with as being part of her past.
But can I do that? Can I live with the fact that we're over? That nothing can happen between us again?
She heard Mark calling for her, and carefully stubbed out her cigarette on the tree, and threw it into the bushes. She ran over to him, kissing him on the lips right there, in full view of everyone. Giggling, they ran inside and slammed the door.
"Hey." Mark said softly. "Since when do you smoke?"
Ashley realized that there was a lot about each other that they didn't know. She smiled and grabbed his hand, leading him to the food that he had set out.
"I'll tell you over dinner."
She knew then, that everything would take care of itself. She had Mark now, and he could help her through it. Even though, something inside her would always miss Craig, she figured only time would tell.
Cuz I carry you
Baby
I carry you
Around
Cuz I carry you
Baby
I carry you around.
WOW. That was a fun chapter to write. I'm not sure why, but it was. I highly suggest that all of you listen to that song, because it's amazing. GO NOW! Hey, while your at it, why don't you review???