Title: The Process of Getting Over Myself (or rather Lily Evans)

Rating: PG

Summary: "You know what she told me??? She told me to get over it! GET OVER IT! As if I could, how stupid can she be? Any other normal person would have given up long ago, but I am not any other normal person. I am James Potter." James tries different approaches to get Lily to like him.

A/N: Sorry it took me so long to update. I just simply forgot about this story.

Disclaimer: Mine???? Surely you jest.

The Process of Getting Over Myself (or rather Lily Evans)

Chapter 4 - James the Queer vs. James the Straight-Arrow

I was walking towards the Gryffindor common room, minding my own business when I overheard Professor McGonagall and Professor Flitwick talking. Normally I would have continued walking down the hallway, that is if I hadn't heard someone mention my name.

"Yes, well did you hear about that Potter boy."

"What are you talking about Filius?"

"Well, it turns out that he's actually gay. I honestly thought he was as straight as an arrow, but I guess you can't make any assumptions about people."

"What's wrong with being gay?" she replied quickly coming to my defense, or at least I hope she was.

"Oh nothing, I just never would have guessed especially since he's been after Lily Evans for the past two years, I was beginning to think he was obsessed."

Aware that I would be getting more than house points taken off if I was caught eavesdropping I walked pass the classroom as though no thing had happened and was briefly aware of the eyes of Professor McGonagall and Professor Flitwick staring into the back of my head.

A couple of corridors down I sunk to the floor letting my elbows rest on my knees. Goodness, everyone actually thinks I'm gay. Lily Evans actually thinks I'm gay!! The girl I've been pursuing for the past two years thinks that I prefer guys! And it's not like I'm obsessed with her. I don't have a statue of her in my closet compiled of all her used gum or anything. I don't even think I'm allowed to be obsessed with her if I "prefer" guys. A solution must be found.

I'm not going to botch this up by doing this myself, where the hell is Remus???

I found Remus, well technically Sirius found him. And guess where he was? He was in the History of Magic classroom with Jessica Finch, for quite a long time I might add. I would be feeling optimistic for Moony if I wasn't the only Marauder not getting any action, I mean even Peter's dating.

As can be predicted, Sirius has been bothering Remus about this for about fifteen minutes now.

"So Remus….in the History of Magic classroom, eh?"

Remus mumbled an inaudible answer

"Well, Professor Binns does turn on some people." He remarked offhandedly.

Remus blushed, something he hadn't done since 5th year, and began to splutter. You've got to feel sorry for the boy, Sirius isn't exactly the easiest person to deal with.

"Uh…well…not me…Jessica…" were the only words that we were able to make out of his incomprehensible mumbling.

"Jessica found history sexy?" Peter asked curiously

"Well it is a very sensual topic, what with all those goblin rebellions and…"

I cut him off there. I had to! I mean someone really had it in for the boy if he was acting like this. That, and I was seriously beginning to question his sanity.

"Never mind that Moony, I actually wanted to ask you a question. Well you know how Sirius told everyone that I was gay, right?" I took that chance to glower at him slightly before continuing, "Well, exactly how do I fix that?"

Remus looked thoughtful before Sirius shouted.

"Well that's simple!"

"Really?" Peter asked dubiously.

"Really, just leave it all up to me."

"I hope you understand my skepticism in leaving everything up to you after all, you are the one who put me into this mess. Nothing happens unless it goes by me first." I commanded.

"Fine, well you remember Jessica Stone right?"

I raked my brain for any memory of such a person when Remus said " Seventh year Slytherin, I think, a horrible gossip."

"Exactly, well she is just the person to go to if you want specific information or if you want to spread a little rumour. We get her to tell everyone that James is really straight and everything goes back to normal. It's completely foolproof!" Sirius finished looking quite triumphant.

There was silence in the room as we all turned it over in our minds.

"You know that's not such a bad idea." Remus said quietly

"Sirius, my friend, you are a genius!!" Peter exclaimed.

You should know already that most of Sirius' plans don't exactly work out. Well, this one wasn't an exception. From what I got from Sirius, he pretty much ended up selling me to a leather clad demon. From what he's told me, here's how their conversation went.

"Psst! Jessica Stone, please come and hide in this dark alleyway with me, so I can tell you a secret."

"Are you trying to be subtle, cause it's not really working you moron."

"No, I'm being blatantly obvious because it is not possible for me not to tell the whole world about my best friends social life."

"Oh, well I guess that's ok."

"Goody, now I must ask you to do me a favor."

"Favor? As I am a horrible Slytherin and you an idiotic Gryffindor I must demand something in return, but first tell me what you desire."

"You must tell everyone that James here is straight, or bisexual, whichever strikes your fancy really."

"Hmmm…I guess that's ok. But you must make your other Gryffindoric friend give me one favor which I am allowed to call in at any time."

"Well I don't know, even though you could be an evil Voldemort-follower or a sadistic woman obsessed with whips and bondage, I'm going to say ok.

"Wonderful."

Obviously, their conversation didn't exactly go like this. It was a bit more vicious, considering that she is a Slytherin. I know that Sirius was trying to get her to do something for him but honestly, a favor?!? Couldn't it have been anything else? For all I know, she wants me to get on all fours in leather and lick her toes. I tried to explain this to Sirius and all he said was, "Why would she make you lick her toes after getting you all dressed up. That's a good waste of leather."

Nothing really gets across to him.

I must admit that Sirius is good for some things. I might have overreacted just a teeny bit about the favor thingy. If you must ask why I changed my mind, the most wonderful thing happened today, no one thinks I'm gay anymore. Word spread like wildfire. Now I am no longer James the Queer but James the Straight-Arrow. Stone did her part and now I am a poster boy for being straight and everyone just thinks that Sirius is crazy, which isn't really uncommon. Sadly enough, Lily didn't really notice anything and when I tried to see if she knew (practically impossible since, gossip reaches even her) she pretty much told me to go try and drown myself in the Great Lake.

"Hey Lily" I said when I walked up to her, suavely of course. "You haven't heard anything about me, have you?"

Her response, "Potter bugger off, I'm trying to do my History of Magic homework so go drown yourself in the lake or something."

She's just a lovely girl.

A/N: Reviews really would be lovely...