Chapter 5

Can't Do This Anymore

"Come on honey," Hermione tenderly rocked Arianna back and forth. It was 4 in the morning and Hermione woke to the sounds of Arianna's cries. Hermione tried everything but Arianna wouldn't stop crying. She wasn't hungry nor did her diaper need changing. "Were you having a bad dream sweetie? It's alright, Mommy's here."

Hermione walked into the living room. She carried Arianna over to the book shelf in the far corner. Carefully, she pulled a large book from the shelf and took it over to the couch. Still holding Arianna, Hermione place the book on her lap. She opened it up to the first page. She gazed down at the smiling faces of Harry, Ron and her back in their first year. Turning the page she found another of the trio. The next page was just a picture of her and Ron. A tear slid down Hermione's cheek.

She and Ron's smiling face looked up at her. This had been during their fifth year, after the battle at the Ministry. Taking a deep breath Hermione flipped through the pages until she found the one she was looking for.

"There's Daddy. See him," it suddenly became quiet. Arianna had stopped crying. After a moment she closed her eyes. Hermione looked down at her baby. She touched her daughter's small nose. It had become a habit of Hermione's to do so whenever Arianna began to fall asleep. Arianna let out a small breath. Hermione brought the sleeping baby back to her room and placed her in the bassinet.

Once she was sure everything was ok Hermione headed back to the living room and resumed her place on the couch. She picked up the album and placed it back on her lap. Slowly she ran her fingers over George's face. It was a picture of them on their wedding day. George had his arm around Hermione's waist beaming with joy. Hermione seemed to be laughing at something. Hermione shut the book with a thud. She couldn't do this yet.

-FLASHBACK-

It was cold, the kind of cold that went straight to you bones. It was only the beginning of December and yet it was already freezing. Hermione sat wrapped in a blanket, reading by the fire. The common room was empty. It was 2 in the morning and everyone else was sleeping. Hermione couldn't sleep much these days.

It had been more than a month since that day at Hogsmeade. She hadn't heard from George since then. Hermione didn't know what to do. She told Ginny everything. Ginny was angry at first, saying that Hermione was leading Ron on but soon sympathized for her friend and gave her some advice. Tell Ron and George the truth. Hermione knew Ginny was right.

She had tried on more than one occasion to tell Ron the truth. He wouldn't listen. Everytime she tried to be serious with him he'd avoid the conversation. So there she was, sitting alone, reading at 2 in the morning.

"What are you doing up?" Ron's voice made Hermione jump.

"Jeez Ron, don't do that," Hermione exclaimed, shutting her book.

Ron made his way down the stairs and sat beside Hermione. "You alright?" he moved closer to her.

"Couldn't sleep is all. I'm fine," Hermione answered as Ron gave her a questioning look. "What are you doing up?" she inquired.

"I was cold," he shrugged. Hermione raised her eyebrow.

"Cold?"

"It is bloody cold outside," Ron shot in his defense.

"Right," Hermione giggled. She looked at the flames of the fire dance in the fireplace. When she turned back to look at Ron his face was inches from hers. He moved closer and closed his eyes. His lips were right there.

"Ron," Hermione pushed Ron away. "I can't do this."

Even in the dark Hermione was able to see that Ron had gone a brilliant shade of red. "Um…right…of course you can't. I'm sorry."

Hermione bent her head. She could feel her eyes welling up. "I mean, I can't do this anymore."

Ron scratched his head in confusion. "What?"

"Ron I'm sorry," she was sobbing now. "This isn't right. I shouldn't have done this to you. You don't deserve this."

Ron took her hand. "What are you talking about? I love you."

Hermione was gasping for breath now. She could hardly see through her tears. Everything was a blur. "That's the problem Ron. I don't love you."

Her words hit Ron like a punch to the stomach. "What…wh…what happened? I don't understand," Hermione could hear the pain in his voice. "I thought…"

"I'm so sorry," Hermione's eyes found Ron. He stood up.

His voice dropped. "There's someone else isn't there?" Hermione didn't know what to do. "I felt something was off. I had a feeling your love was going to someone else, I just didn't want to admit it," Hermione could barely hear him.

Hermione began to cry harder. "Ron…" but he quickly turned from her and disappeared up the staircase. He was gone. Hermione sat alone again. Picking up her book she whipped it as hard as she could into the fire. The fire crackled and the book slowly burned.