That Certain Urge
Chapter Six
The students parted in haste for the man striding down the hallway exuding menace with every light step. Three weeks left to the end of term and the potions professor was in an even fouler mood than usual. Inwardly, Severus Snape was a wreck of a man in desperate need of a good drink. The stiff part he could handle on his own in due time.
He'd escaped the last NEWTs potions exam physically intact but his nerves were shot while his hormones were running amok in the asylum that was his body. At least it had been his before She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Underestimated came into the classroom two hours ago. As he made his way to lunch in the Great Hall, his subconscious was tortured by a tenacious melody that was both innocuous and indecent. It was sapping his energy to maintain his stoic façade when his traitorous hips, knees and shoulders wanted to gyrate to the beat.
How he longed to give the witch-woman-student-know-it-all a dose of her own medicine but if he did he knew that Minerva would make good on her promise of a new Hogwarts transfiguration attraction - a cuddly, all black, tongue- less Snape bunny with shriveled genitalia in a cage full of eager female bunnies giving him no peace day or night.
Or, if Pomfrey beat her to him, he was sure that he would serve some time as the new anatomically incorrect visual dummy to be heartily abused in the sex education classes the nurse taught. Then after those two eminent viragos had had their way with his sorry carcass, there were the two newest members of the Virtue Defense Patrol, Hooch and Pince, lying in wait. After he was done being the femmes' cat toy du jour, it would be Albus' turn.
He was beginning to feel very put upon and defenseless. Who was around to protect him from Hermione's now proven predations on HIS virtue, honor and sanity?
During the NEWTs exam, she had left a note on his desk when she came up to get her ingredients. Fool that he was he had picked it up and read "Professor, please review the enclosed for accuracy and completeness. Sincerely, Hermione Granger." Unsuspecting, he opened the envelope and extracted an enchanted picture of the Head Girl. He found himself staring Hermione doing a sinuous strip tease down to a black and green g-string in her bedroom to a song with an easy rhythmic tempo. He never knew one could find so many novel uses for the posts of a four-poster canopy bed. Any doubts he may have entertained about Hermione's femininity, agility, flexibility and ingenuity was firmly put to pasture again and again and again.
The professor was entranced through the first, second and third viewings. After his tunnel vision cleared, he spied some handwritten notes on the bottom of the picture. He peered and read "I've decided that today's Potions NEWTs is clothing optional."
In shock, his eyes snapped to the young woman in question sitting so primly, assiduously making her potion. From his vantage point he could see the telltale signs that she had not been joking - her robe clung to her pert breasts and he could just see the slight jutting outline of her nipples taut from the slight chill in the dungeon class room. He had promptly put the picture down inside a desk drawer but the song had played on and on. He locked eyes with Hermione. Her slight nod confirmed that only the two of them could hear the song and its teasing lyrics. The words were sung in a man's voice low and rough with emotion saying words that he could never have found the courage to say but wanted to with all his heart.
Throughout the exam the torture was unrelenting. Hermione's cleverness was evident in the oh-so-casual way she bent over on the work table, elbows on the counter with her legs slightly spread as she checked her flame repeatedly whenever he happened to be passing by behind her. He hadn't even thought to chastise Longbottom when his cauldron began bubbling ominously, severely distracted as he was by Hermione at that moment in time. He watched helplessly as she lipped the handle of her stirring rod posing as if pondering the mysteries of the universe while one hand grasped the rod's middle and her other hand was stroking the rod up and down.
In desperation, he cast a timed-release body bind on his lower half. He sat back in his desk contemplating retribution until the class was near its end. And all the time, the song played on in unmistakable invitation. It was an invitation that his body was proving all too willing to accept right then and there, McGonagall and the femme squad notwithstanding.
After the spell had expired and the students were filing out, he limped over to her and asked quietly "Ms Granger, what was that song?"
She replied with wide, limpid, innocent eyes "Oh, it's by a muggle singer, Bruce Springsteen, and its called Let's Be Friends Skin to Skin."
He thrilled her with his next words. "Be assured that you will be paid tenfold for your temerity and creativity at the appropriate time. However, I elect to reserve further judgment until I've seen the rest of it and have had ample time to conduct my own study. You should also be aware that I now consider all gloves to be off. Have a good day, Ms Granger."
After her departure, he hurriedly put quill to parchment and summoned a school owl to whom he left instructions to postpone delivery until fifteen minutes into lunch. He then called the head house elf of his on-loan work gang and said "Bert, I need you to make a few changes to the plans. "
Professor Hooch approached Hermione on her way to the High Table for lunch and inquired how she was doing. Hermione said "I've boiled down everything - my research and all the practical advise - into a few simple phrases." She showed the flying instructor her list.
Hermione's Rules of Engagement
Never surrender when you can distract, disarm and disrobe but not necessarily in that order.
Every man becomes a sensual marshmallow when the right temperature and pressure is applied.
The skin is one big erogenous zone and should be treated accordingly and frequently.
Don't be afraid to hurt and hurt repeatedly in order to please and be pleased in return.
Men live for the hunt and women crave the capture but both need not be mutually inclusive.
Seduction is first and foremost a weapon - take aim on vital organs and don't hesitate, ever.
Appeal to the mind, arouse the senses, sate the body then start all over again, repeat as necessary.
Make every look and touch an inescapable undeniable expression of a very horizontal desire.
"My compliments on a very complete list. I hope that you have been practicing?" said a stern Hooch. She was busy making several copies of the list.
Hermione replied in her no-nonsense voice that she missed no opportunity to practice and always tried to use the axioms in combination with each other for maximum effect. She was Head Girl and had to set a good example after all.
Hooch passed copies of the list to her three other cohorts as she passed them on her way to her own seat. Lunch began with much chortling and pointed glances made towards the staid potions master. Snape now strongly suspected that Hermione had taken certain ladies into her confidence and, like all witches since the beginning of time, they had formed an unholy coven to plot and scheme a man's downfall.
Instead of being embarrassed or chagrined, he returned what looks he caught with equal candor daring the impertinent female to make further comment. He vowed to find ways to make sure his valued colleagues got theirs at the end of term with interest. He settled into his lunch with great gusto looking forward to the owl delivery.
The Gryffindor table was boisterous in relief as there was only one day left of NEWTs exams. Over lunch they shared exam horror stories so horrific that no one paid much attention to the owl delivery of the Head Girl until she let out an aggrieved "Oh, my God! That's impossible! There is no way that could be right!"
Hermione literally ran out of the Hall, red faced and tugging on her robes. Harry and Ron looked worriedly at each other. They both decided to seek her out after their next exam.
Snape patted himself on the back for his stroke of near genius as he watched her retreating figure. McGonagall, Hooch, Pince and Pomfrey pinned Severus with deadly "we-know- you-did-something-and-you-will-pay" glares. Snape countered with a raised eyebrow and a "with-my-compliments" nod.
Dumbledore looked sharply at him and he held up a hand to ward off the females who already had their wands in hand under the table. Dumbledore beckoned Snape over. Snape stood, walked over to the headmaster, whispered in the headmaster's ear then shrugged his shoulders innocently.
Albus started coughing and doubling over in laughter. His laughter was starting to resemble hysteria as he wiped tears from his eyes. Everyone at the High Table began to laugh and soon the whole hall was fill to bursting with laughter. Why they were laughing, no one really knew, only that it seemed like a good idea at the time. It certainly felt good after all the exam tension.
None of her friends or teacher confidants could get the real story out of her afterwards. However, she told them that it wasn't bad or malicious. She had just been very surprised in the Great Hall and as a result overreacted. She avoided Snape as much as she could not trusting her actions if she got near him and definitely did not look the headmaster in the eye.
All seduction attempts on her part had stopped not wanting to provoke Snape any more than she had already. Who knew how he would retaliate? She realized two things. One, that her professor was very serious about this game of theirs and two, he was a very adept player. No matter what she did, he had regained the upper hand and been a few steps ahead of her. What was a woman to do with this infuriating man?
Two weeks later, Hermione joined Harry, Ron and the rest of the seventh year Gryffindors for one last nostalgic trip to Hogsmeade. As she looked for the store that was recommended by Madam Pomfrey, her mind was on one devious potions master.
She lay in bed that night reliving in her mind all that had transpired from the moment she had seen him outside the Slytherin common room to now five days away from their game's concluding night. She smiled and settled into slumber murmuring the last notations in the professor's missive The reason for her peaceful repose was inside a locked desk drawer pasted and preserved in a page of her private diary.
On a scrap of parchment was scrawled in an elegant, masculine hand the following:
Ms. Granger, in the spirit of fair play, I feel compelled to give you a piece of knowledge that would be absent from any of your research and that your well-intentioned mentors would not be in possession of.
Forthwith and below, for the aforementioned situations and conditions, are my measurements. Please make any necessary adjustments to your technique. I await your pleasure.
Sincerely,
Severus Snape