The Unimaginable

by Zenin

"There are some things you just can't imagine..."

Here is what I was thinking: Why not see for myself if the Rogue would give me away? Maybe—just maybe—I might be able to negotiate with him and gain an ally. And even though I'm not exactly allowed to visit the Dancing Dove, I decided to give it a try, just to see the new Rogue. Yes, this guy was supposed to be pretty good. I have heard stories about how the guy can rob you blind with the blink of an eye.

Literally.

However, I was completely unprepared for what met my eyes—and ears—when I walked into the smoke filled inn. Well, that's what happens when you've been protected like some namby-pamby flower boy.

"MOCK—!"

"Yeah!

"—ING!"

"Yeah!"

"BIRD!"

"Yeah!"

"YEAH!"

"Yeah!"

Mithros, I thought to myself, stunned. They're all lunatics... I massaged my forehead pensively; trying to drown out the raucous shanty that was resonating throughout the Dancing Dove. By the time I found an empty table, it mattered not to me whether I learned the name of the current King of Thieves. The prospect of conversing with the very same guy who allowed barmaids to drunkenly lap-dance with bartenders was daunting. Not to mention the music selections were appalling. Let's just say the songs they were singing were not exactly Midwinter carols...

"OH, HAVE YOU HEARD HE'S GONNA BUY ME A MOCKING BIRD!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah!"

I was all ready to tiptoe my way out of the Dancing Dove when a girl suddenly appeared right in front of me. The very same girl who had been doing the lap-dance with the bartender. Her hair was a rich chestnut color and her eyes were an amazing shade of blue-green. Without thinking, I let my eyes travel down her body, taking it all in.

Nice curves. Small waist. Really rather cute... My thoughts ground to a sudden halt as she slid a hand up my chest to rest on my shoulder, smiling a bit too sweetly to be innocent. "Hey there."

Uh...umm...

I smiled weakly and tried retreating, but my back slammed against the wall. A different tactic must be used, I decided quickly. I tried to give her the old why-did-you-stop-me-and-by-the-Goddess-do-not-touch-me routine, but she waved it aside casually. The dazzling green-blue eyes rolled to the ceiling, as she shook her head pityingly. "What, did you actually think I'm interested in you? Gods, Conté. I thought you were supposed to be smart."

My mouth dropped open. First of all, how the heck did she know my name? "I beg your pardon, miss." I managed to stutter, flushing.

The beautiful eyes rolled again. "I heard you wanted to see me, so here I am. What's up, boy?"

I shook my head, my shock draining away. The Rogue must have had a pretty good sense of humor to try this on me. Very funny. I chuckled lightly to myself as I answered. "Actually, I'm here to see the Rogue. Although, I might take some time from my busy schedule to get to know you."

Whoa. Where did that come from? I guess I have a streak of my father in me after all.

Damn.

Her reaction was not what I expected. When the crown prince makes a pass at you, wouldn't you be flattered or something? I mean, I never flirt. I did not even know I knew how. I swear, one minute I was winking at her…and the next thing I knew I was flat on my back, staring at the ceiling. It really hurt. A hand appeared in my vision and I took it, not thinking. Again, I sailed through the air and into a small table. The table broke upon impact as the formerly singing crowd suddenly quieted and all eyes turned to me.

This can't be good.

Surprisingly, it was the girl who rescued me from having to explain the situation. She ignored the crowd and grabbed my hands, pulling me up from the ground and giggling flirtatiously. "Jamesie! You domnoddy! I think you've had a bit too much to drink, 'ey?"

Jamesie? Mithros and Goddess above...what have I gotten myself into?

The crowd's attention waned as she brushed me off and began to lecture me in a very business-like manner, pausing only to kiss the bruise developing on my wrist. I was in complete shock. A thought began rattling around in my head like an experimental spell gone wrong: I should go now. I really should. Must leave. I should go...

My mind was so fogged up, I barely comprehended what was happening until I was tugged into a room. Then everything cleared with remarkable rapidity as the girl whirled around and slapped me. Hard.

"Idiot!" she hissed. "Domnoddy! You could have given yourself away! Damn you!"

Talk about mood swings. I straitened and touched my cheek briefly, surprised as waves of anger flow over me. "Idiot? Go look in the mirror, slut."

I immediately regretted the words...that is, until I got slapped again. By the time this whole episode is done, I will most likely be brain-dead on account of one vicious barmaid. I glared at her, eyes narrowed. "Why am I here? I did not wish to speak with some rabid wench."

This time I manage to flick my head to the side as her hand lashed out again. I continued, bravely. "I want to speak to the Rogue," I stated flatly.

"I am the Rogue!"

Dear Lord, she's deranged. I thought to myself, beginning to understand the strange mood swings. I decided to be gentle with her, not even flinching when she tried striking me again. "I can help you, if you wish," I said gently as I caught her fist in my hand and deflected the blow.

She stopped, her hand poised for more action. You know, for such a little thing, she sure had a lot of power. Her blue-green eyes narrowed venomously. "What did you say?"

"I get help you. At the palace, we have this mage and he can heal you." Her face still showed confusion, so I simply smiled. "Your mind. You're ill. I can get you help."

Comprehension dawned on her face and suddenly, I wished I had just gone along with her little game. The room spun eerily as I got tackled to the floor by a five foot, four inch tornado. Fortunately for me, the door opened just then and interrupted the soon-to-be beating of the century. A man walked in, stopping short when seeing us. "Kate?"

She slid off of me and looked at the man, her cheeks decidedly red. A rather long moment of silence transpired, in which the blonde-haired man and the girl stared at each other, flushing so brightly you'd think it was 132 degrees Fahrenheit. Finally, the girl spoke, glancing at her feet, her voice apologetic.

"I was just trying to teach him a lesson, Terry. He wasn't listening."

I struggled to my feet and attempted a bow. "Sir, I believe your barmaid is in need of mental assistance. She claims," here I laughed slightly, glad for the protecting presence of the man. "She claims that she is the Rogue…so um…"

My voice faded as the man simply stared at me, shaking his head slowly. Finally, he turned to the girl, disgust written all over his face. "This is the future king?"

"That's just what I thought," the girl said, a corner of her mouth curving into a roguish grin.

I frowned. "Am I missing something?"

"Yes," she retorted. "your brain."

My jaw tightened and I turned to the man for explanation. The man simply studied me for a little while longer, then said, his voice dripping with condescension, "Your Highness, I present to you the Rogue...otherwise known as Kate."

The gods hate me.

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Hmmm…this has been revised a little, but it could use more. Review if you like, I'd enjoy getting input.

© 2002 Zenin Industries