Author's note: Depressing…Torn fan girls may want to steer clear of this one.

Chapter 4

Even after the men had left, I was still awake. But after an hour I practically passed out, so I went back to sleep. For about three weeks I had to stay in bed. And when I finally was ready to get up, the first thing I wanted to do was see Torn. Of course, he was in the fortress, locked up. Dash highly disapproved of leaving Freedom HQ when I told her. I had just caught up with her in the hall.

Dash: You just got up, you're sick, you should stay here.
Janovah: But it's important, his trial is tomorrow!
Dash: And don't we remember what happened the last time we got up on the fly? You had a freak relapse, slipped into a coma, and almost died.
Janovah: You're acting like my mother!
Dash: You didn't even KNOW your mother!!

Then she calmed down...That hurt.

Dash: I'm sorry; I didn't mean it that way!
Janovah: Then what DID you mean?
Dash: I don't want to use lose you!!

She gulped and her eyes got wet...PLEASE don't cry, I thought. It was always so sad to see her cry. But she continued.

Dash: You're the only person I have left. Nobody has cared for me like you have. It's more than I deserve.
Janovah: Don't say that! Everybody deserves to be loved.
Dash: Not me...Janovah, I've lied to you.

What? LIED to me? I'd never been lied to before. This was a whole new experience, a whole new emotion.

Dash: They don't plan going the safe option with Light Eco Radiation.
Janovah: I thought I didn't have another choice.
Dash: They plan on doing an experimental operation to take it out. They're going to sneak it.
Janovah: Why? Why hide it?
Dash: Because you'll probably DIE from it. I played along at first; trying to convince myself you were going to be okay. But another concern is what they would do to the dark maker. I thought they would kill it, but they won't. They're messing with things that they don't understand.

Her voice was even now, but with an edge.

Dash: We have to get you out of here. Not now, but soon. Don't take food, drink, or drugs from anyone but me.
Janovah: I still want to see Torn, though.
Dash: Not now. We will tomorrow, I promise.
Janovah: I think the dark makers are controlling his brain.
Dash: It's very likely. Right now, just lay low.

She put a hand on my shoulder, and gave me a stern look.

Dash: You're so pale, much paler than I remember you to be.
Janovah: Gee, I've only been trapped inside for over a year.
Dash: I have to go, but remember what I told you.

She turned and left quickly down the hall. What was she always rushing off to do? I started to navigate different halls. It just wasn't as quaint as the Naughty Ottsel. I eventually came to a dead end hallway...with a door. It was ajar...just ever so slightly, just tiny tidbits of sunlight poking out. Dare I? Who was going to stop me? I slowly approached...this was a knob door. I stopped just short of it. I fingered the knob...the old devious feelings coming back. I did it. I pushed the door open, and sunlight blasted my face. It was so warm. I put one foot out. I was in an alley in the back of the building. I stepped outside, feeling the warmth. It was already sundown. I realized I had to say something at the trial tomorrow. How was I going to prove my case?

Dash: JANOVAH!!!

I whipped around, and there was Dash standing behind me, looking angry.

Dash: What are you doing?!?
Janovah: This is first time in over a year I've been outside.
Dash: I understand, but please TELL somebody before you do that! We have to go over what you're going to do at the trial tomorrow. I assume you're on the defense as a witness?

I nodded.

Dash: Listen...I don't think it's going to work. Torn's guilty, no doubt, and all we can do is curb the penalty. But they will kill him; maybe by a slight chance chastise him instead.
Janovah: Chastise?
Dash: Where they beat you within an inch of your life. Most die anyway. There are four levels of it. 1, where they use a whip, usually live. 2, whip, but some nasty wounds. 3, two headed whip, most die. 4...you're dead. They usually use a three-headed whip with blades on it.
Janovah: As soon I get officially crowned, that's the FIRST thing to go.
Dash: Oh yes, our wonderful death sentences include lethal gas, usually bioxygen. And for severe cases, hanging. Oh yes, you have the death by TORTURE, which is the lovely combo of level 4 chastation and hanging. But anyway, you have to know what to say. You have to be erudite.

Dash and I went back inside and had dinner in a huge cafeteria and she began to coach me on trials.

Janovah: How do you know so much?
Dash: Traffic court. I racked up some pretty outrageous speeding tickets.

We laughed together. Dash was like my older sister, my wise, older sister. Eventually, Dash sat up, and smiled. That was enough for tonight.

Dash: But if what I taught you fails, CRY. Cry like a damn baby.

We left the cafeteria, and we parted. I made my way back to the cabin, and I flopped down on my bed, exhausted. I closed my eyes, and sleep took me.

Dash: Wake up, sleepy head!!

I opened my eyes to see Dash standing over me.

Dash: I cannot fathom why some people need YEARS of sleep.

I she pulled me out of bed, dragged me to the bathroom, and threw a hot washcloth at me. I began to scrub, and then she came up from behind and let my hair down and brushed it. I really didn't get that one...Dash NEVER did anything with her hair. It was just a ratty black nest of hair. As soon as we were done se pushed out the door into a zoomer.

Dash: Punctuality is the key!!

We arrived at a large building in which I assumed was the courthouse. Immediately after exiting the vehicle I was swarmed by people asking questions.

Dash: She has nothing to say currently...Go away!!
Some Person: There's the defendant!

Indeed, I saw about twelve Freedom League Guards hauling Torn up to the courthouse. He looked awful; he was covered in bruises, as though he had already been "chastised".
We entered the courtroom. It was vast and cold, lots of people sitting around. Because of the brutality of the crime, Dash had said, they were just watching, Torn had no right to a jury trial. There was large table on the left side labeled "Defense". Dash led me over to it, Torn was already seated, and his eyes fixed on the floor. I tried to take the seat next to him, but Dash stopped me.

Dash: You can't sit there. I have to; I'm your bodyguard.
Janovah: But Dash-
Dash: I'm sorry, it's the rules.

So I sat beside Dash. I was only one seat over from Torn. I tried to catch his eye, but he wouldn't budge.

Janovah: Torn...
Torn: You shouldn't have come!
Janovah: But I'm just-
Torn: You're risking your life.
Janovah: Torn, please, I'll help you!
Torn: I killed Kat, remember?
Janovah: It wasn't you, it was-

But every time I tried to speak, he shushed me. The hours slipped by, the evidence was presented...blah blah blah. Finally, the Judge called Torn to the stand. It was horrible; he was telling how he was fully aware of the whole thing, how it was his decision. Finally he sat back down. MY turn.

Prosecutor: Now, would you please recount the night where the accused attempted murder took place?
Janovah: I was asleep, and-

I told my version, how Torn managed to stop himself.

Prosecutor: But the Defendant's version was much different.
Janovah: He's just trying to protect me!
Prosecutor: Why do you think he stopped himself from stabbing you?
Janovah: Because he loves me!!
Prosecutor: On another case of attempted murder, he tried to rape you, is that not correct?
Janovah: No. He didn't.
Prosecutor: But, without your consent, he reached into your blouse.

Why god, WHY? Nobody had to hear about this!!!!

Prosecutor: He touched your breasts.

I sort of shuddered...Nobody was supposed to know about that. I swear my face turned red, like we were doing the whole scene right there.

Prosecutor: Did you enjoy it?

Oh my GOD.

Janovah: I-I-I did, at first...
Prosecutor: At first?

It went like this for hours. Finally I made some free speech. I was tired of this.

Janovah: Do you want to know WHY he killed those people? Because his mind is being controlled. By the Dark Makers, they're after me...they're after...
Prosecutor: Ridiculous! You are obviously emotionally disturbed!

I dismissed back to my seat. And finally, it was time.

Judge: Despite Janovah's strong testimony, I have no choice but to find this man...guilty of all charges.

I wanted to scream.

Judge: I hereby sentence him to death by torture, government's choice.

He said "government's choice" like it was fresh meat for sale or something. Torn looked unfazed by the ruling.

Judge: The chastation will happen at sundown, in roughly one hour, and thirty minutes. The hanging will take place at sunrise. Court dismissed.

People were getting up and leaving. I was too shocked to cry. We left, silently. Outside the courtroom, the guards were putting handcuffs on Torn. He finally looked at me.

Torn: Janovah...if it hadn't been for you, I would be dying unhappy.
Janovah: If it hadn't been for me you wouldn't BE dying.
Torn: Everybody's gotta go sometime. It's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. Goodbye, Janovah.

And they took him away.