"What?" demanded GollumRox more furious than confused. "Important message my a—"
She was cut off instantly as Jude shoved her off the chair and replaced her.
"Hello girls and guys…hopefully not guys, but whatever. I am he—"
Jude fell to the floor after Ewan booted him off the chair and took a seat.
"No. I am here to tell you something. I'm proud to announce that I shall be making a television appearance on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno this Tuesday at 11:30 pm Eastern time."
Suddenly Jude's arm reached up, grabbed Ewan's hair and yanked him off the chair. Once Ewan was off, Jude scrambled back up to replace him. "And I will be making a television appearance as well! Be sure to tune in and watch!" he suggested, giving a cheesy thumbs-up.
"You bloody moron," Ewan grumbled as he stood up next to him. "You didn't say when!"
"They'll know," Jude nodded.
"But you need to tell them just in case."
Jude just nodded again.
"Well?"
After a few seconds, Jude squeezed some air through his teeth and said, "I can't remember."
"Jeezum Crowe, how about Late Night with Conan O'Brien Thursday at 12:30 Eastern?" Ewan threw at him with exasperation.
"Actually, it's 12:37," GollumRox corrected, annunciating the '7'.
"Of course you'd know, Forkie," Ewan droned.
"Will you get out of my chair now?"
"Nah. I like it!" Jude grinned, turning the chair in circles.
"And when are you ever going to update?" Ewan prodded.
"Don't prod me, dammit. I'm working on it."
"You're angering your fans."
"What fans?" Jude mocked, still spinning around.
"You guys are stupid. Just go away," GollumRox sighed.
"You're just going to end this stupid pitch without a decent apology to your readers on your lack of creative and frequent updates?" Ewan asked.
"Oh fine." GollumRox then turned to the readers and plastered on a sincere face. "I am deeply regretful for my irresponsibilities as a writer and I beg for your forgiveness. Please do not hate me because of the dictators who run my life and give me no time to do anything at all."
Ewan and Jude looked at each other.
"That sucked," Jude concluded.
"Ah, shut up and watch the rest of Stepmom with me," GollumRox grumbled.
And so the three of them gathered around the TV and watched the sappy ending of Stepmom and laughed at everybody's acting, leaving the once hopeful of an update readers alone at their computers with their hopes crushed and shriveled up.
Except the hopes of those Ewan and Jude fangirls who were waiting desperately for a television appearance by the both of them in the same week.