Chapter 3: The Muster of Fangirls and Fellowship Members
"The nerve of those girls," Legolas mumbled angrily, comforting the poor doll she'd saved.
"Stupid fangirls," muttered Pippin.
"We need to do something," said Gandalf. They all looked at each other, and at the time, knew what they had to do; they had to wage war on the fangirls.
"What's the plan?" Sam asked.
"Well," Gandalf continued, "we'll need to get a bunch of people to go against them, we might even be able to take them by surprise."
"Doubtful," Aragorn cut in, "the fangirls will find out, they've got this sixth sense for these kinds of things."
"But so do people like us," Gollum replied cheerfully. "Er…right?" Everyone else merely shrugged.
"Where do we…er…make our war?" Sauron asked uncertainly.
"Right here is good," Eowyn said, glaring at 7-Eleven.
"Yes," said Merry, "we'll wage war on both fangirls and 7-Eleven."
"It's the war to end all wars!" declared Galadriel. Silence overcame the group. "Sorry," she muttered, "got a little carried away."
"The fangirls are too many though!" yelled Sam, "We'll need more then just us fans of books to defeat an army that big. And they have 7-Eleven on their side too!"
"Then we'll call in reinforcements," Frodo said simply. "I mean, Zainy Brainy and Best Buy are still with us, right?"
"Yes!" Arwen clapped and startled everyone. "We wage our war with every ally on our side. Keeping in mind that the fangirls are many and have a safe-hold; 7-Eleven."
"Is that our plan then?" Glorfindel asked uncertainly.
"Yes," said Pippin, looking distracted, "but not all the fangirls are from Lord of the Rings, there will be fangirls from The Matrix, Harry Potter, and even those anime cartoons that I never seemed to get." Sam muttered something under her breath that sounded like, 'well, I like them,' but no one was really paying any attention.
"So…Battle for the Canon?" asked Aragorn. Pippin shrugged, "The fangirls will bring everyone they can, and we should do the same."
For a moment, everyone stood in silence, then, "Wait, how do we even know anything is going to happen?" Gimli asked skeptically. Pippin pointed to where she had been staring the past few minutes and everyone looked. Hords of girls were grouping on the other side of 7-Eleven with various pictures of various guys on their shirts with little hearts surrounding them. "Oh…" everyone else sighed simultaneously.
"Well," Merry said slowly, "at least we're not becoming senile."
"What's the number of Best Buys again?" mumbled Eowyn absentmindedly as she searched through her phone for the number. Therefore, much planning then commenced; from calling Best Buy and Zainy Brainy to making their own makeshift fort in the trees by 7-Eleven. To trying to figure out what kind of weapons to use in the Battle for Canon. "Anything and everything," Faramir answered to the latter question.
"What else do we need to plan?" asked Sam.
"Well," Pippin said, looking out towards the fangirls, "now we just wait."
"Wait for what?" Frodo asked, looking beyond the trees with them.
"Wait for them to make the first move," Merry answered. "They'll probably start with something like eggs."
"Why eggs?" Pippin asked with her nose scrunched up.
"Oh, you know, things lying around that come in large quantities," Merry answered lazily.
"Best Buy and Zainy Brainy are on their way," Eowyn said, running up to join everyone else. "Sheesh, those girls have been multiplying!"
"Well, of course," Legolas said absentmindedly, "think of the girls at our school! And that's just one of them."
"Ah," replied Eowyn, "very true."
So the Fellowship sat down around their makeshift fort, rightly named 'Headquarters,' which apparently was some inside joke between Aragorn and Pippin. The fangirls did indeed multiply, but the Fellowship figured they could take them…
…somehow.
A/N Another chapter done! It's not very long, but I'm not very big on writing long chapters when they're not of my Original Story. Plus, I'm lucky to get anything up right now because it's such a hectic month! I'll post as soon as I can!